“Do you mean like an Oscar?” A shadow of a smile appeared and quickly disappeared from her face.
“Something like that.”
“Again, I sort of fell into this career. So, I'm not sure. Sometimes I think I know where I'm headed, and other times, I'm totally lost.”
“Is that why you don't want anyone to know you're out with me?” Keir asked seriously.
“A little bit. I've worked hard in this business. And I think, for a woman, your reputation is your greatest asset. I don't want to lose mine.”
“And you feel going out with me will taint your rep? Put a black mark on your record?”
“That's not what I'm saying at all.”
He leaned closer to her, and his voice took on a hard edge. “Then what are you saying, exactly?”
“Two things. First, I've got a rep of coming in, getting the job done, and leaving all the other mess behind. I like it, and I want to keep things that way. Being involved with someone from the studio blurs those lines, causes all manner of problems that I don't want attached to my reputation.”
“Tell me more,” he encouraged.
“I'm sorry, normally, I don't allow myself to get involved on the job. I work for you. That's the beginning, middle, and end of it.”
“Actually, it's not. You see me socially. So we're more than employer and employee.”
“I know. And I'd like to keep that aspect of my life away from the eyes and ears of my gossiping colleagues.”
“Mm. Interesting.”
Ryan felt compelled to explain a little more. “I prefer to keep my work and private life separate.”
“Is that why you were hesitant to go out with me?”
“Partly. When I hired on to the show, Glo made it very clear that she didn't approve of on-the-job romances. She feels they kick up way too much drama.”
“Glo works for me.”
“And so do I,” she added, playing with the diamond stud in her right ear. “But you're not my immediate supervisor. I have to work closely with Glo. Life could be really difficult if I piss her off. I'd rather stay on her good side. It makes everything easier and more pleasant.”
“Answer a question for me.” Pursing his lips, Keir pulled on the lobe of his ear.
Shrugging, Ryan replied, “If I can.”
“What happens if we get closer? Where will I fit in your life? I don't think you'll be able to hide your feelings or our relationship. You won't be able to completely separate the two areas of your life. What will you do then?”
“I don't know. All I know for sure is I plan to do the best job possible wherever I work.”
“I'm going to say this, and then we'll put the whole issue on the shelf for the time being. I don't want to increase your stress level at work. So, I'll go along with remaining low-key at the studio. For now.”
Her sigh of relief quickly turned to apprehension with his next statement.
“I like you, and I plan to get to know you better. If we take a step to a closer relationship, we're going to have to revisit this issue, possibly change the rules.”
For the present, that would have to do. She didn't know where they were headed, so the future would have to take care of itself.
“Tonight, you're not my employee. You're my date,” Keir continued. “And I'm going to ask you a very important question. What about dessert? Are you up for The Great Wall of Chocolate?”
Giggling, Ryan shook her head. Keir was full of surprises, fun and happy surprises. “Great Wall? What exactly is The Great Wall of Chocolate?”
“Six layers of chocolate fudge cake, chocolate frosting, with raspberry sauce. We can add a scoop of vanilla ice cream to keep things legal.”
“I hear a commercial,” she teased. “It sounds really good. But I couldn't eat that much cake alone. Want to share?”
Keir's gaze slid over her, warm and enticing. “Yes, indeed.”
Chapter 5
After sharing a delicious slice of chocolate cake dubbed The Great Wall of Chocolate and a double scoop of vanilla ice cream, Keir and Ryan left the restaurant. As they waited for the valet attendant to retrieve the car, a gust of wind whispered through the trees and swirled across the front of the building, causing Ryan to shiver. Chilled, she drew her jacket more snugly around her body.
Keir's gaze slid over her. His eyebrows knitted into a frown. “Cold?”
She nodded.
He moved closer, wrapping an arm around her and anchoring her against his body.
The valet attendant pulled the silver Jaguar to the front of the building and then jumped out, with the engine still running. Keir helped Ryan into the passenger seat before taking his place behind the steering wheel and popping a CD into the player. The sultry sound of Marion Meadows's saxophone filled the confined space. Seconds later, the Jag shot into the late-evening traffic.
Feeling full and mellow from good food, great conversation, and pleasant company, Ryan snuggled into the black leather bucket seat, swaying slightly to the music. Her thoughts returned to the evening she'd just spent with Keir. Who would have thought she'd have such a wonderful time? Dinner had been many thingsâfun, humorous, and full of surprises. They had exchanged their aspirations about their careers and feelings regarding their families. Ryan had seen a side of him that she really liked and she wanted to see more of.
Conversation was kept to a minimum as they sped through the night. Thirty minutes later Keir pulled into Ryan's driveway and cut the engine. He opened his door, hopped out of the car, and ran around the hood to the passenger door. With a hand at her elbow, Keir helped her from the vehicle, and they slowly strolled up the walkway to the porch.
Nervousness assaulted Ryan. It had been a while since she'd been out on a date, and she felt rusty about the proper end-of-evening etiquette. Did he expect a kiss? Possibly more? Would he morph into a beast with twelve hands? Up to this point, Keir had behaved perfectly. But Ryan's concerns were mounting as they reached the porch and started up the stairs. Her belly twisted into knots.
At the door, Ryan turned to Keir, then said stiffly, “Thank you for a lovely dinner and the excellent company. You were right. Going out was a great idea.”
Ohmigod
. She cringed and then whined silently.
I sound like a total idiot
.
He bowed his head slightly and muttered good-naturedly, “Told you.”
Laughing lightly, she teased, “And you're just so humble.”
Grinning, Keir shrugged. “When I'm right, I'm right.”
The mood shifted, and tension reared its monstrous head. She glanced into his eyes and quickly looked away. All of Ryan's earlier insecurities manifested themselves anew. Was she ready for this?
Ryan focused on another problem. The last thing she wanted to do was tangle with a man expecting something more. Unfortunately, good manners dictated that she invite him in. She wished she didn't have to. Ryan's mother, Elizabeth Brown, had raised her children with proper manners.
Ryan fished through her purse for the key, unlocked the door, and opened it a crack. “I really enjoyed tonight. Thanks again.”
Keir smiled down at her. “So did I.”
“Would you like to come in for coffee?”
“No,” he answered decisively. “I should be getting home. Tomorrow's a workday. Maybe another time.”
Relieved, Ryan let out an audible sigh and held out her hand. “Good night. Drive safely.”
Forehead crinkled into a frown, he gazed at her hand, studying it. “No.”
Confused, Ryan examined her hand and then turned to Keir. “No? I don't understand.”
Amusement lurked in the depths of his green gaze. “Mrs. Mitchell, I am
not
shaking hands with you.”
Mrs. Mitchell!
Where had that come from? Two could play this game. “I'm sorry, Mr. Southhall. You've lost me.”
“Tonight I've told you all of my deep, dark secrets. We are well past the hand-shaking phase.”
Ryan lowered her voice to a husky whisper, enjoying the gentle sparring between them. “Do you have a better idea?”
“Yes, indeed.” Keir planted his hands on Ryan's hips and tugged, bringing her near. “This.”
Anticipation made Ryan's pulse leap with excitement, while heat warmed her blood. Keir slowly drew her into his arms, providing ample opportunity for Ryan to resist. With a deft move of his hand, he cupped the side of her face in his large palm and nibbled on her bottom lip, tasting and exploring. His kiss was slow and thorough. Ryan melted at the sweet tenderness of his touch while drinking in his unique flavor and scent.
The knot in her belly uncoiled as pleasure shot through her. Eyes drifting shut, Ryan nibbled back while resting her hands on his arms. Keir framed her face with his hands, parting her lips as his tongue met hers, savoring the nectar.
Changing direction, Keir lifted his head and seared a path down her throat, sucking softly on the tender flesh at the curve of her neck before retracing the route and recapturing her lips. Seconds later, he broke the kiss and stepped away, taking in a deep breath of air. Keir removed his key ring from his pocket.
“You come up with the best ideas,” she complimented.
“I thought you might enjoy it. I know I did.”
Touching her lip, Ryan admitted, “So did I.”
“I'll see you tomorrow,” Keir promised, smiling gently at her before leaning down and brushing another brief kiss across her lips. He bounced down the stairs and crossed the yard to the Jag. The roar of the powerful engine echoed through the quiet neighborhood as he backed out of the drive and sped into the night.
Exhausted yet exhilarated, Ryan shut, locked, and then leaned against the front door. Her fingers stroked her bottom lip as she relived the wonderful connection of mind and body that had flowed between Keir and her.
Did she want to go out with him again? Absolutely. Should she accept a second date? Probably not. There were far too many issues standing between them. Like the fact that Ryan's immediate supervisor disapproved of on-the-job romances and dating the boss could cause a lot of conflict and drama on and off the set. Plus, there was the problem of his children. She didn't feel emotionally strong enough to cope with Keir's children; dealing with kids meant opening her heart to the whole package, and Ryan wasn't sure she was ready for that.
Ryan giggled softly. Here she stood, contemplating the future with Keir when he hadn't asked her out for a second date.
On her way through the house, she paused at the desk situated in a corner of the living room, dropping the keys in a golden dish. The telephone display indicated two new messages. She dialed in the code and listened to the gregarious voice of her big brother.
“Hey, you. What's going on? It's almost eleven o'clock. Don't you have to go to work tomorrow?”
She scoffed. “Tony the protector” took his role very seriously. Since she was a small kid, he'd always stepped in and taken charge of any situation where she might get hurt or needed help. Actually, both of her older siblings, Tony as well as Helen, believed it was their job to watch over Ryan.
“I just called to check on you,” Tony continued. “Dinner was good Sunday. Thanks again for having us over. It's my turn to return the favor. Why don't you come by my place Saturday afternoon for chicken and ribs? Take a load off, and have a meal on me. That's what big brothers are for, right?” He chuckled. “Anyway, are you okay? Give me a call. You've got the number.”
The second message was from Glo, informing Ryan to come into the studio at noon. There were a few technical problems, and their day would start a bit later.
Cool,
she thought, returning the telephone to the cradle. After her evening out, it would be nice to sleep in Tuesday morning. The flip side of that situation meant she would probably be on the set much later than expected.
Humming Anita Baker's “Giving You the Best That I've Got
,
” Ryan proceeded to the kitchen, filled the tea kettle, and placed it on the range. She removed a mug from the cupboard, a spoon from a drawer, and searched for a decaf tea bag. Her thoughts returned to her brother's question about her well-being. Ryan laughed out loud, still feeling the tingling sensation from Keir's touch and his taste of her lips. Thinking of Keir and their kiss, she muttered softly, “I'm more than okay.”
Chapter 6
“Move camera three. I want the east angle.” Palms open, Keir spread his hands wide. “A shot of Simon when he makes his entrance is what I'm going for. His image should be silhouetted against the sunlight. Got me?”
The cameramen nodded and then began to move around the room, making the appropriate adjustments as per the director's requests.
“Good.” Keir studied his watch for a beat. “Once you've finished, take a fifteen-minute break.”
Silently, Ryan placed a series of photographs in bronze frames on the set's coffee table. She added a plant to an end table and fluffed black pillows with gold, green, and red threads on the sofa and chairs as the sound of Keir's husky drawl made her tingle all over.
For the past three weeks, Ryan and Keir had been inseparable outside the studio. Meals, visits to the park, evenings watching television, and Sunday morning strolls through the farmers' market had replaced Ryan's solitary existence. Although their relationship hadn't stepped over the intimacy threshold, it was coming. The level of desire Ryan and Keir shared made it almost impossible for them to keep their hands off each other in private. Honestly, Ryan wondered how they kept things together at work and managed not to reveal the depth of their feelings for each other.
With a great deal of effort, Ryan maintained her role as the perfect employee during work hours, distancing herself from the personal issues of her coworkers in order to handle her own problem.
Glo Kramer remained the dark spot on Ryan's happiness meter. Glo's warning regarding fraternization worried Ryan. Granted, being fired didn't really concern Ryan, but the damage to her reputation and career could be irreversible. Her boss had the power to make life a living hell and to tarnish Ryan's pristine work record. Heads of movie studios were a small group, and the wrong word ended careers quicker than a zit on an actor's nose.
Butterflies waltzed around in Ryan's belly, and her Keir radar kicked in. She turned and found him standing directly behind her.
“Good morning, Mrs. Mitchell. How are you today?”
“Oh, Mr. Southhall. I didn't see you there. I'm fine. And you?” Ryan replied, with a hint of humor in her voice, loving this game they shared. Since their first date, Keir had teased her by calling her Mrs. Mitchell when they were at the studio. The teasing note in his voice had convinced her to return the gesture; using their surnames while exchanging pleasantries had become their subtle way of communicating.
“I'm doing great. Do you have time for a cup of coffee? I'd like to talk with you about the scene I'm shooting tomorrow.”
Always cautious, Ryan gazed around the room, searching for her boss. She wanted to go with Keir, but they needed to be careful. There had been several near misses where Glo had appeared in a room when they didn't expect it. Ryan didn't want a hint of impropriety to touch her. Finding the area Glo Kramer free, Ryan nodded, and they started down the long, narrow corridor to the cafeteria.
As they turned the corner away from the set, Ryan found herself instantly swept into Keir's arms. Loving the feel of his strong, hard body against hers, she caressed the strong column of his neck while he nibbled on hers. “I'm having an attack of Ryan withdrawals,” he joked, licking the side of her neck. Her knees went weak. “I need sustenance.”
Sanity returned when Ryan opened her eyes, noting how the corridor opened into a large hallway, where anyone could happen upon them in this compromising position. She stiffened, hunching her shoulders as she pushed at his chest and hissing, “Stop!”
He lifted his head and gazed around, drawing her closer. “Nobody's here. Don't worry.”
“We don't know who's around the corner,” Ryan whispered frantically, fighting to get out of his embrace. “We agreed. No messing around on the job.”
Eyes narrowing, Keir dropped his arms to his sides. “Nobody cares.” The husky tone he normally used carried a frustrated edge.
Ryan continued down the corridor. “I care. People love gossip. Keir, think about it. You're the boss. Everyone wants to know the intimate details of your life.”
Forehead wrinkled into a frown, Keir followed at a slower pace. The pair halted inside the cafeteria door. Glo sat at one of the long cafeteria-style tables, with a cup of coffee and a batch of sketches in front of her. Ryan shot Keir an “I told you” glare before heading to the set director's table. Hearing them approach, Glo lifted her head, examining Ryan and then focusing on Keir. A hint of suspicion burned bright in her blue eyes. It was quickly extinguished, replaced by a huge, friendly grin. “Hey, you two.”
Keir guided Ryan to where Glo sat. “Do you want a cup of coffee, Glo?” he asked.
“No thanks.” Glo lifted her paper cup. “I still have half a cup left.”
Nodding, he headed to the vending machines and returned with a cup of coffee in each hand. He glanced at Ryan. The expression in his eyes said, “See. I'm trying to work with you.”
“What are you up to?” Keir asked as he handed a cup to Ryan and then took the empty space next to Glo.
“Sketches for episode thirteen,” replied Glo.
“Don't you have an office for this?” asked Keir.
“Yeah, I do. But, there's more room to spread out in here. Plus, most times it's quiet. No phones or people asking questions.” Glo glanced at Ryan, with an inquiring gleam in her sharp gaze. “How's the set coming?”
Uncomfortable, Ryan shifted on the park-style navy bench. “We're all done.” She jabbed a thumb in Keir's direction. “Mr. Southhall invited me for a cup of coffee to discuss tomorrow's sets.”
“Excellent,” said Glo. Nodding, Glo returned to the work in front of her.
Ryan glanced at Keir. Now that they had arrived here, what exactly were they going to discuss?
Glo reached inside her portfolio and withdrew an embossed envelope. “I received this in the mail this morning. It's nice. I think it's a good idea.”
Keir hunched his shoulders. “You know me. I always want people to know how much I appreciate their efforts. I told Phil that I wanted to do something big after we got episode eleven completed.”
Glo removed the invitation and read the printed card. “The Hyatt. Elegant. Ryan, I know you're new to our little family here, but you should come. Get yourself a date, and have a good time.”
“Yeah. You should bring a date,” Keir parroted.
Where's mine?
Ryan wondered silently. “I'll think about it,” she hedged, giving Keir the evil eye.
Glo glanced at her watch and then rose from the table. “Excuse me. It's time for me to move on. Phil and I are meeting at three. I'll see you guys later.”
Ryan sipped her coffee as Glo packed up her stuff and left the room.
Keir turned his attention to her. “I held off on sending your invitation because I wanted to talk to you about it first. And now that Glo brought it up, this is a good time to discuss the Hyatt party.”
“What about it?”
“I want you to go to the celebration with me.”
Ryan drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She didn't want to have this conversation. “Keir, I can't do that.”
“Why not?”
“What do you mean, âwhy not?' I thought we agreed to keep our relationship away from the gossipmongers. I can't jeopardize my career.”
“Nobody said you had to.”
Annoyed, Ryan shut her eyes, reaching for a way to describe her fears. Facing him, she said, “Keir, I really like being with you. But my career is very important to me. Just like yours is to you. When we started seeing each other, you agreed to stay low-key. Now you want to change the rules.”
“You are right,” Keir said, taking her hand. “I did agree. But, I also said we'd revisit this subject if things changed. That's happened and we're revisiting.”
“Don't!” Panicked, Ryan shook off his hand and placed hers in her lap.
Frustration was etched into his normally pleasant features. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly. “The situation has changed. Our situation is different. I'm not going to pretend anymore. Why should we act like teenagers worried about how our friends and parents will react? This isn't Romeo and Juliet. We're too damn old to play games, and I don't live that way. And I'm not going to.”
“I can't do this.”
“Sure, you can. Look, I appreciate how important your job is to you. I understand. Truly, I do. But you and I can't go on this way.”
“Keir, you have nothing to lose. The big producer/ director. Your reputation will be fine regardless of what happens. I, on the other hand, have to think about my next job. What they think of me. What they have heard about me.”
“That's not true, Ryan.”
She shook her head and said, “Maybe we should quit before things go too far.”
“Now you're running from your feelings. Is Glo that scary?”
“No. She's not,” Ryan replied.
“Are you afraid she'll fire you? Because the studio is a business, and you're under contract.”
“No, butâ”
“Then what is it? I'm not feeling you right now.” Keir swallowed a mouthful of coffee and then demanded, “Help me understand.”
“I am afraid of what gossip may do to my career. Maybe I was wrong to think I could have a relationship on the job and work for you, too.”
“Stop. Stop. Stop. You are blowing this way out of proportion. I'm not saying you have to confess before the preacher on Sunday. It's time for you to decide what you want.” His voice dropped to a husky purr that melted her insides like butter over a hot burner. “There's nothing in the rule book that states you have to choose between me and your job. You can have both. Me and your career. Just take a stand on what's important to you.”
“Glo,” Ryan mumbled.
“Ryan, look at me,” he demanded.
She lifted her head and looked directly at him, letting Keir see the confusion and worry in her eyes.
“Ry, our relationship doesn't concern Glo. She's not part of it. This is about you and me. Us. Ask yourself a question. Do you want to be with me? Someone would have found out eventually. That's the way things happen. You can't keep a secret like this hidden forever.”
She sat silently, taking in everything he said.
“I can't make your decision for you,” he continued. “But I have to be honest with you. I care deeply for you, and I want you in my life. You have to accept we are involved in an adult relationship, and we're moving toward the next step.” He rose from the table, dumped his cup in the trash, and left the room, leaving her to contemplate his parting shot.
Her mind swirled with a mass of conflicting images. What was she doing? Did she really want to be the subject of her coworkers' bathroom and dinnertime gossip? And Glo. How would she react? What would she do? Ryan didn't see that situation working out like the happy endings on the last frame of some movies.
On the other hand, the past three weeks had been the happiest in her life since Galen died. Did she want to return to the sterile, lonely existence she called a life before Keir swept her into his world?
Keir brought fun, a good time, and laughter into Ryan's life. The muscles tightened at the base of her neck when she thought of exposing her private life to the entertainment industry. Could she truly have them both? Keir and her career? The only way to find out was to go for it.
Tony's old slogan popped into her head.
No guts, no glory
. Ryan wasn't a coward, although her behavior recently had made her feel and act like one. If it didn't work out, she'd find a way to wiggle out of her contract and move on. First, she needed to give this relationship the chance it deserved.