"Yeah, but it was just his party, don't worry, I didn't blow
him.
Nope, it was Chase Erickson, who also kind of happened to be Amy Yates' boyfriend up until a week before."
"The blonde girl," I said flatly.
"Uh huh."
"It's coming together for me now."
"Do you think I'm a bitch too?" Kaia asked, wringing her fingers one at a time.
"They were broken up, right?"
"Yeah, totally."
"Was she your friend when it happened?"
Kaia shuddered. "God no, I've never been able to stand her."
"Then no."
Kaia exhaled. "Thank god. I'm not just saying this because you're my cousin, or because you're pretty much the only girl who's talked to me in a year." Her smile was tinged with sadness. "I really love hanging out with you."
"Me too." I reached out and grabbed her hand before she snapped one of her fingers off from twisting them so hard. "So how did Amy find out about you and her ex?"
"Uh
…
that's kind of the part where I turn into a giant slut."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Go on."
"So I'd had, I don't know, like eight Mike's Hard Lemonades and I had to pee really bad. So I went to the bathroom, and when I walked in Chase was standing there washing his hands, but I had to go so bad and I was so drunk that I just lifted up my skirt, sat down on the toilet, and went."
"Classy."
"I know, I'm Kate fucking Middleton." Kaia perked up her head as a bell sounded. "That must be a warning bell. We've got to get to class."
Kaia and I had the same first period world history class, which must have been some kind of a miracle, since I'd heard the sophomore class had about seven hundred people in it. We jumped up. I followed Kaia's lead, as she seemed to know where she was going.
When we reached the carpeted hallway, the halls were crowded, and there was so much bustling and slamming of lockers that there was no way anyone could overhear us. "So how did you go from peeing to
…
what base is a blowjob? Third?"
"So I finish peeing, I turn around to grab some toilet paper, and when I'm facing forward again, Chase is kneeling in front of me, and he starts kissing me."
"While you were sitting on the toilet?"
"Yep."
"Ew."
"Yeah, well, it gets worse. We kissed for like, a few minutes, and the next thing I know, Chase is standing up, his pants are down around his ankles and I'm giving him head."
"Oh, Kaia." I tried to keep the dismay out of my voice, but she must have heard it, because she sighed heavily.
"Yeah, it wasn't my best moment."
I took her hand and squeezed it.
"The really fucked up part, though, is that the door wasn't locked." Kaia stopped in front of room 236, our first period class, and leaned against the wall. We stood there, holding hands. A couple people gave us weird looks, but mostly they just hurried past. "I don't remember everything, I was pretty wasted, but I know a whole bunch of people walked in on us. Amy and Chase got back together a week after the party, and I've been the town bicycle ever since. Doesn't even matter that I've never actually slept with anyone."
"You haven't?"
My shocked tone must have been evident, because Kaia looked a little hurt. "No. Have you?"
"But the way you act with the guys on the football team, you know, and Grady, and all that. I just kind of assumed
…
"
"I have a reputation to live up to. I couldn't stop it, so I embraced it. Doesn't mean it's true though."
"Maybe
you
should change your name to Tawny."
"I don't have to. I'm already Keeks."
"I thought that was just a nickname."
"You, Barbie and-or Mary, should know better than anyone that names aren't ever 'just an' anything. Amy made it up, and all the girls started using it. Let me tell you, it rhymes with
so many things
. Freaks, peaks, squeaks, cheeks, leaks, the list is seemingly endless."
The bell rang suddenly, not the pleasant tone of the five-minute warning bell, but a harsh, disciplinary peal. The hallway was nearly empty, and Kaia and I had been standing outside talking so intently that I hadn't even noticed people going into our classroom. There was almost no chance we'd get seats together now.
"Tell people to stop calling you that, then. Derek wasn't trying to be a prick when he called you Keeks last week, I'm sure of it."
"He probably doesn't know the origin of the name. I doubt any of the guys do. It would do more harm than good to make a big deal out of it now."
I disagreed, but Kaia was yanking the classroom door open, and I couldn't argue any more about what Derek should or shouldn't call her because there he was, waving us over.
"Barbie, Keeks, over here."
I crossed the classroom and slid into the empty seat in front of him while Kaia took the one beside his desk. He leaned over my shoulder, his breath warm on my neck. I looked sidelong at him.
"I saw you outside so I saved you seats."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw our teacher glaring at the class so I shushed Derek and turned my gaze primly to the front of the room.
"What, no thank you?" he whispered, a laugh in his voice.
I tossed my head a little, making my ponytail shake in his face.
"Alright, the bell rang, settle down." The teacher, a thin, middle-aged balding man frowned with annoyance. He looked like he was going to be a ton of fun. "Before we get started, a few of you need to report to the counselor's office. Anderson comma B."
I straightened up and looked around, as though there could be somebody else he was talking about. When no one else made a move, I stood up slowly and made my way to the front of the room. I grabbed the little slip of paper he held out as he continued to call names. "Davenny comma J. Mottola comma D. Weathers comma A. Thank you, thank you," he snapped, handing out slips of paper, not sounding grateful at all.
"C'mon Barbie, I'll walk with you," Derek said, taking my elbow and steering me towards the door. "I know the way."
I shot a glance over my shoulder at Kaia, who shrugged and gave me a perplexed look.
Derek and I walked out the door and down the hall. "So you know your way to the counselor's office, huh?" I said. "Are you a degenerate?"
"A degenerate?" Derek laughed as we jogged down the stairs to the first floor. "No, my mom works there."
I sniffed. "Bor-ing!"
"But I have been known to make questionable life choices."
"Ooo, like what?"
"Like this."
He stopped and lifted his hair away from the side of his neck. There, not quite all the way in the back, was a bright green four-leaf clover.
I stopped too and peered at it. "Is that a tattoo?"
"Yeah."
"I didn't think you could get one of those until you were eighteen."
"Yeah, my mom was
pissed
."
"What does it mean?"
He let his hair fall back down over his neck, covering it up and we continued walking. "It means I'm Irish."
I rolled my eyes. "Wow, that's deep."
He winked. "Actually, it means I'm lucky."
"Lucky your mom didn't decapitate you when she saw it?"
"Something like that."
"So wait a minute," I said, pointing my finger at him. "According to Kaia, you're the guy who throws the epic parties. And your mom works at the school? Either Kaia doesn't really understand the term 'epic' as it relates to social gatherings, or something's not quite right here."
Derek chuckled. "No, Kaia knows her way around a party, that's for sure. My mom's boyfriend lives in Salem. She takes off Friday afternoon and doesn't get home until it's time to leave for school on Monday morning. I haven't seen her on a weekend in two and a half years."
"Nice."
"Yeah, I guess." Derek inclined his head. "Here, go through here." He pointed down a narrow corridor. "The office is at the end of this hall."
When we got to office, there were signs hanging from the ceiling. 'A-L' pointed left. A sign marked 'M-Z' pointed down a different hallway. Derek glanced at the signs and pretended to be crestfallen. "It's an alphabetic tragedy, Anderson comma B. See you later, Barbie."
I turned away to join my group of A through L's. There was nobody over here for me to talk to, just a couple people I didn't know who must have been from the other junior highs. It seemed like Totem Falls was underrepresented everywhere I went.
Slackers. Can't even get called to the counselor's office
. But wait a minute. Why was I here?
I sat in an empty chair and waited, leafing through a magazine for at least a half an hour. Finally, from down the other hallway, I heard a woman's deep voice, the kind I would expect a lady trucker to have. Or maybe a professional wrestler. "Okay, M through Z, into my office. Wait a minute, Mottola, not so fast. You go with the other group."
A few seconds later Derek appeared around the corner, and for some reason it looked like he was alarmed, but the look passed just as quickly as it came. He walked over to my group, just in time for a man to pop out of his office door and usher all of us inside.
"I'm Mr. Lawson. You can call me Ted."
Great
. Calling teachers by their first names totally creeped me out. Now every time I looked at him I'd feel randomly embarrassed for no good reason. He cleared his throat and kept going. "I'll be your counselor for the next three years. If we all play our parts, this might be the only time we'll ever meet in person. So welcome to high school and all that jazz." He fluttered his hand in a dismissive way. "You're here because there's a problem with your schedule, and we need to get it corrected before you can move forward."
He shuffled through the paperwork in his hands. "Why do I have an M? Oh, right," his eyes fell on Derek. "You must be Lori Brewer's other kid."
"That's me."
"Can't have your own mother as your guidance counselor, can you? So let's see what your issue is." Mr. Lawson aka Ted scanned the paperwork in his hands while Derek shifted in his chair. "Right." He leafed through the rest of the documents. "Looks like two of you have a similar problem. Which one of you is Baby Anderson?"
"Barbie," I said immediately.
"It says Ba-"
"That's a typo," I interrupted. "Happens all the time." Slightly panicked, I couldn't seem to stop myself from babbling. "I spell my name funny. B-A-R-B-Y. Sometimes they drop the R."
Ted held up his hand. "No problem. I'll change it in the computer, it should be fixed by tomorrow." He drummed his fingers on the table. "So the problem here is I'm required to offer driver's education classes to anyone fifteen-and-a-half by the start of the quarter—thank you Proposition 37—but neither one of you has room in your schedule. Driver's ed is only offered during sixth period. Barbie you've got sixth period early release for cheer practice, and Derek, differential calculus is only offered once a day, in, of course, you guessed it, sixth period."
He pushed his sleeves up and adjusted his glasses on his face. "So you can make it really easy and simply decline the class-"
"I want it," I said eagerly.
Ted sighed. "Or you can make it hard."
"I want it too," Derek said quickly. "What do we need to do?"
Ted cracked his knuckles while he talked. "Since you can't take it during the regular day, we'll need to arrange a small group session. You have two options, early morning, or late evening."
"My mom's always here at six AM. I could do morning," Derek said.
I'd never be able to get a ride to school. "I can do evenings," I said.
"Me too," Derek said instantly.
"It would be ideal if we only had to arrange one section. How about this?" Ted stopped drumming his fingers and grabbed a pen, scribbling on a pink pad of paper. "I'll check with the M through Z's, and I'll send you an email to let you know the outcome. We'll plan on first session next week, sound good?"
"Great," I said.
He tore off the top sheet of paper. "Head on back to class then, here's a pass."
As soon as we left the hallway, I couldn't contain myself. "Omigod, that's so awesome!"
"I know, I thought I was going to be assed out until next quarter. I should have known." Derek tapped the side of his neck, where his lucky tattoo hid.
"Yeah, thanks for making that happen," I said sarcastically. Still, my excitement bubbled over. "I can't wait to take driver's ed. I've got to get my license."
I guess I stressed that last sentence too hard, because Derek looked at me a little funny. "Oh yeah? Where you going?"
With my license, I can get far, far away from my family.
"I don't know. I just really want to be able to drive."
"Yeah. Me too." We were only a few doors away from the one to our classroom, and Derek had slowed way down. "Hey, Barbie, can you do me a favor?"
"Um, sure."
"That whole thing about my math class
…
"
"Yes?"
Derek stopped walking. "Can you keep that to yourself?"
The look I gave him must have shown how confused I was, because he scrambled to explain. "It's just that, I don't really want people to start thinking that I'm some kind of mathlete or something."
"Sure, okay." I grinned at him. "But don't you think the other people in your class might find out?"
Derek smiled. "They're all probably seniors, and definitely not on the football team. It's just not something I want to deal with right now."
"No problem."
"Thanks."
Derek leaned in towards me, and I watched him, mesmerized. Just then, a bell rang so loud that I jumped about a foot in the air. Doors banged open and students poured out. The next sound I heard caused me to jump even more than the bell had. "Hey, Mary!"
My eyes shot to the end of the hall, and there was the gorgeous, Jesus-loving Grady Carrico, waving and walking towards me. "Shit!"
I grabbed Derek by the shirt, god knows why, and dragged him around a corner. Panicked, I reached for the first windowless door, yanked it open, and shoved Derek inside. I practically dove in behind him, pulling the door closed after me.