Read No Place in the Sun Online
Authors: John Mulligan
He walked back to the young buyer as quickly as he could, a bunch of keys in hand. ‘Which one do you fancy? The silver one is probably the best one; it has the lowest mileage as well. Let’s take her for a drive.’
They drove around the block, Tom keeping up the patter. ‘This is a beauty isn’t it, only fifty thousand on her, you were just lucky you came in when you did, this one would be snapped up as soon as it went on sale.’
The young man was excited at driving the car, ‘I like it well enough, but how much is it?’
Tom flicked through the sheets. The code was 000053/000015/000065, that meant that Kevin had paid three and a half thousand for it, you just read the numbers backwards and dropped a few noughts. The lowest price he would take was five thousand one hundred, and the price that would go on the windscreen was five thousand six hundred.
Tom waited until they had parked the car. ‘He wants an even six grand for it, but if I approach him the right way I think we can do a bit better. The way I see it, you’re young, so even if we make nothing off you on this sale, you’ll come back to us again for your next car, and maybe the one after that. So maybe I could drop it a bit, say take two fifty off?’
The youngster was delighted, but was trying not to show it. He wanted to drive a hard bargain. ‘The most I would give would be five and a half; I can get that much from the Credit Union.’
Tom smiled to himself, the kid was offering was close to what he needed to get the top commission, but he held his nerve.
‘Couldn’t do that I’m afraid, that’s less than we paid for it, but I’ll try to get a few quid off it for you. Could probably get him to drop three hundred, say five seven. How does that sound?’
‘I might go to five six.’ The kid was wavering, ‘but I’m not sure if I’d get the money.’
Tom could smell an opportunity; there was another hundred in it for him if he could persuade the buyer to arrange finance through a hire-purchase company.
‘Don’t worry about the money, if you are working you can get the money no problem, we can recommend you to a finance company that will give it to you, we could sort it out over the phone in ten minutes.’
The youngster was nearly wetting himself. ‘I’m working full time in the call centre down the road; do you think you could arrange the money, really?’
‘Of course, we do it every day.’
Tom reached out his hand. The ball was on the penalty spot, and nobody in the goal. He tapped it towards the line. ‘So do we have a deal at five seven? I’ll be sacked for giving this one away, I’d advise you to grab it before the boss changes our minds for us.’
The youngster shook his hand. ‘Ok, yes, I’ll take it.’
Goal! They went back to the office to do the paperwork.
Kevin spotted her first; you couldn’t miss her, to be fair. Skinny legs, short yellow skirt and yellow boots, and a fluffy yellow jacket and matching handbag. She looked about twenty, although it was hard to tell. She was wandering around the front row of cars, peering at stickers. He nudged Tom.
‘Look at what the cat dragged in. Day-old chicken.’
Tom looked at the girl as she wandered among the cars. ‘Good looking girl, forget the colour sense, she’s pretty.’
‘She’s like fucking Big Bird from the telly, that kids programme. Must be colour blind, very fond of yellow anyhow.’
Tom jumped to his feet and dashed out to intercept his quarry before the penny dropped with Kevin. He slowed to a stroll when he got close to her. ‘Good morning, madam, can I be of assistance. He tried to keep the grin off his face; this girl was really a vision in yellow.’
‘I’m just having a look; I want to buy a car.’
‘Any particular kind, madam? I’m sure we have something to suit you. I’m Tom by the way.’
‘Amanda.’ She held out her hand. ‘Something nice, not too big, but it has to be reliable.’
He was itching to go for the kill, but he needed to pace himself. ‘Haven’t I seen you before somewhere, maybe on TV, are you a model or an actress?’
Corny as it was, flattery always worked. She gave him a huge smile. ‘No, I’m not a model, I’m a nail technician.’ She extended two manicured hands with much decorated nails, glossy and speckled with a yellow design. This girl was nuts about yellow.
Tom opened the door to a bright red Clio. ‘Sit into that one, see how you like it.’ The car was one of the cleaner ones in the row, and girls liked the Clios, especially the red ones. He could see she was impressed.’
‘That’s nice, I like the colour, is it a good car?’
‘One of the best, but maybe I have something even better. Would you like to come this way?’
He led the girl towards the back of the lot where the bright yellow car was parked, out of sight of the office where Kevin didn’t have to see it from the window.
‘This one came in yesterday, really good car, low mileage and a very reliable machine. Really stylish too, just the thing for a stylish lady.’ He opened the door to the VW, trying not to smile at the combination of yellow clothed girl and bright yellow car.
She sat behind the wheel and gave a cry of delight. ‘Omygod, omygod, omygod. Oh it’s so beautiful; oh it’s perfect, omygod, omygod omygod.’
She got out and danced around the car. ‘This is so beautiful, this is my dream, I love it, I love it, I love it. I’m taking it.’
Tom smiled at the sight. ‘Don’t you want to know how much it is?’
She stopped for a minute, crestfallen, ‘maybe it’s more than I can afford?’
‘Depends on how much you can afford.’ Tom was playing with her now; the fish was on the hook.
‘I can’t go more than nine thousand.’ She was starting to look worried. ‘Oh I hope it’s not more than that.’
Tom looked at the sheet; the sticker price would be nine thousand exactly. He could take eight four at a pinch. ‘Nine and a half, how does that sound to you?’
‘Maybe I could do it, but I don’t think so.’ She looked at him pleadingly. ‘Is there any way it could be a little cheaper?’
The image of a day-old chicken and the words ‘a little cheeper’ just got to Tom, and he had to turn away to hold back the laughter. ‘Let me talk to the boss for a minute’ he spluttered.
He called Kevin on the mobile. ‘Do you think we could let the yellow VW go at 9k? This is a very nice lady and she can’t rise above 9k.’
‘You jammy bastard.’ Kevin was enjoying the joke. ‘Day old chickens can’t rise above anything, their wings aren’t developed yet.’ He howled at laughter; Tom hoped that the girl couldn’t hear the exchange. He was doing his best to keep a straight face.
‘I see, boss. So can I say that that’s a deal so?’
‘Sit on her before she lays a fucking egg, get her feathered ass into the office and get her name on the docket before she runs away on you.’
Tom turned to the girl. ‘Well, Amanda, it looks as if this is your lucky day, he’s in a good humour and he’s agreed to all your demands.’
‘You’re all so nice here; everyone has a smile for me.’ She counted out the money from the yellow purse on to the desk.
‘It’s because Easter is coming up, we’ll be opening our eggs in a couple of weeks.’ Kevin was shaking with laughter.
Tom was doing his best to hold it together. ‘Sign here and here, and here.’
‘Don’t let that fellow ask you for a date.’ Kevin was almost hysterical. ‘He’s too old for you, he’s no spring chicken.’ Tears were running down his face and he had to go outside and walk across the yard to calm down.
She gave Tom a kiss on the cheek. ‘Don’t mind that crazy old fellow, I think you’re a lovely guy, and thanks for finding me that beautiful car.’
Kevin plonked two mugs of coffee on the desk; he was still shaking with laughter.
‘That was the best laugh I had here in weeks. I have to hand it to you for thinking about the yellow car when you saw her, if I had been a bit quicker off the mark I’d have made the sale myself and I wouldn’t have had to pay you a bonus on it.’
‘I’d have nearly done it for nothing; did you ever see such a fashion statement?’
‘Definitely colour blind. Not a bad looker if she lost some of the yellow though, a real cracker.’
Tom agreed. ‘Needs a bit of a makeover, but she’s gorgeous, I wouldn’t mind at all.’
‘Rule number thirty two, never date the clients.’ Kevin wagged his finger at Tom. I’m outa here, can you lock up?’
Tom was still sorting out paperwork; it had been a very busy day. ‘See you Monday so.’
It had been a tiring shift, but he would prefer to get the administration out of the way and not have to face it on Monday. He filled out all the forms and stamped the envelopes for posting on the way home; it had been a good day and he had made some serious money to boot. He stretched himself and called Walter.
‘Are you going for a pint? The Willows, yeah?’
He noticed the envelope as he was turning off the lights. It lay on Kevin’s desk, torn open where the boss had given a cursory look at the contents. Tom couldn’t resist a peep; he picked it up and pulled out the papers for a look. It was nothing of interest, just a bunch of test certs from the car test centre.
He was about to replace the certs when he noticed the registration number on the first one; it was the same as the one he had just processed, the small car that he had sold to the young guy from the call centre. He rifled through the others, they all belonged to the cars that had just come into stock a couple of days before. Tom was stunned.
‘I don’t believe this. Certs for cars that weren’t tested. What the fuck is going on here?’
He pulled out the notebook where he had entered the numbers from Kevin’s letter to the guy in the test centre; the numbers were the same as the certs in the envelope.
He was shaking as he replaced the papers. This was serious stuff, this was beyond a joke, you could go to jail for this. The clerk in the test centre must be taking cash to provide Kevin with bent test certs. Clocking cars was dodgy, but everyone was doing it. Mucking about with the paperwork in a government test centre was a different story.
His head was swimming as he got in the car and headed out to meet Walter. Should he tell Walter or not? Walter knew Kevin for years, played golf with him most weekends. Maybe Walter knew all about it, he did say that Kevin was a bit hooky; maybe that was what he meant.
Walter was in sparkling form, he had continued his winning streak of sales and he was high on it all. He spotted Tom’s dark mood immediately.
‘Why the long face? You look like a man that needs a drink.’
Tom decided to say nothing; you never knew who you could trust in this kind of situation. He switched on a smile and decided to forget about what he had seen for the moment.
‘Just tired, it was a long day, but let me tell you a good one.’
He filled Walter in on the saga of the girl in yellow, and the sale of the fluorescent yellow car.
Walter was soon laughing along at the story. ‘Opening your Easter eggs, how did you stop from cracking up? Kevin is a panic when he starts.’
Tom agreed. ‘Any light relief in your place, anything like that happen with the guys you work with?’
‘Not a chance,’ Walter shook his head regretfully, ‘they’re too straight-laced, take themselves too bloody seriously. That’s one thing I do miss, do you remember the fun we used to have when we did a double act with a sticky customer. We used to play it like a football match, keep passing the ball back and forth until there was a clear shot at the goal.’
Tom remembered ‘Giggs to Rooney.’
‘Rooney back to Giggs.’
‘He plays it up the left wing.’
‘Here comes the cross. Rooney is there.’
They raised their pints in a toast. ‘He shoots, he scores. Goal!’
Walter put down his empty glass. ‘Another one?’
‘No thanks, I have the car. Talk to you next week.’
‘Answer the phone, answer the phone, answer the phone.’
The sound seemed to be part of his dream; Tom was out for the count, slowly coming up from a deep sleep. That stupid ring tone was driving him nuts, should have turned the bloody thing off last night. He reached out and slapped the mobile until it stopped.
He gradually became aware of the bells, church bells that were loud and close by. Must be Sunday, don’t have to get up, he thought to himself.
He suddenly snapped into wakefulness. I don’t live anywhere near a church, he realised, where the fuck am I?
He opened one eye slowly, he was lying face down in a bed; a bright yellow glow seemed to fill the room. It wasn’t a light, he realised; the pillowcase was yellow. He opened the other eye and raised his head slightly. The sheet and the duvet cover were yellow too, and sunlight was breaking in through the yellow curtains. He suddenly remembered the night before; he felt around beside him and touched another body in the bed.
He raised his head and focussed on the blonde head on the pillow beside him. She was still sleeping; she looked completely out of it, must have drunk as much as he had, maybe more.
His head throbbed, and his mouth felt dry and raw. He gradually remembered everything, dancing in the club, then the girl who tapped him on the shoulder when he queued at the bar.