Authors: Richard Laymon
She drove through the intersection. ‘Is it . . .?’
‘Still with us.’
‘Oh shit.’ She wiped her sweaty hands on her skirts.
‘Just means he’s heading toward the valley like the rest of us.’
‘Yeah.’
The narrow road led upward, twisting and banking, the darkness of the wooded hillsides unbroken except for an occasional window light.
‘Isn’t that store up ahead?’ Jack asked. ‘That old-fashioned country store?’
Dani nodded.
‘Pull into its parking lot. But do it suddenly, if you can, and don’t signal.’
‘What if
he
pulls in?’
‘At least there should be some people around.’
‘Okay,’ Dani said. She didn’t want to do it, wished she
had
more time to prepare herself. Dona Lola was five minutes away, but seemed like the distant future compared to this.
The road curved and she saw the well-lighted store standing among the trees. A man with a grocery bag was climbing down its wooden stairs. Half a dozen cars were parked in its lot.
Jack was right. A good place to confront the hearse. Certainly better than the lonely darkness of Dona Lola Drive.
She checked the mirror. The car behind her was a safe distance back. Suddenly, she jerked the steering wheel to the right. They hurtled into the parking lot and she hit the brakes.
Twisting around, she gazed back at the cars on Laurel Canyon.
The hearse sped by, along with the others.
Dani slumped back in her seat and sighed. She felt exhausted.
For a few moments, they sat in silence. Then Jack said, ‘Would you like me to drive the rest of the way?’
‘No, it’s all right. We’re almost there.’ She turned the car around, waited for a break in the traffic, then accelerated onto the road. ‘Anybody ever tell you you’re brilliant?’
‘Only my mother.’
‘Well, you are.’
Jack smiled. ‘The guy probably wasn’t following us, anyway.’
‘Probably not,’ Dani said. ‘After all, this isn’t one of
Roger’s
splatter movies. This is real life. Hearses don’t tail you in real life.’
‘Right.’
‘Right.’
She wanted to believe it, but couldn’t. She doubted if Jack really believed it, either. She wasn’t terribly surprised when, at the crest of the hill where Mulholland intersected Laurel Canyon, they came upon a black motionless shape on the road’s shoulder.
The hearse.
It had waited for them.
It swung onto the road behind them.
Dani wasn’t terribly surprised, but she wanted badly to scream.
S
HE SWUNG
onto Dona Lola. The hearse followed. ‘Now what?’
‘Stop the car,’ Jack said.
‘Here?’ The street was dark and deserted. A few cars were parked along the curbs, and light shone in the windows of nearby houses, but nobody moved about.
‘Let’s see what he does.’
With a nod, Dani slowed the car, stopped it. She shifted to neutral and set the emergency brake.
In the rearview mirror, she watched the hearse creep closer. A few yards behind them, it stopped. The driver was alone. His face was a dim blur, craters of darkness where his eyes should be. His head was hairless.
‘It’s him,’ Dani whispered. ‘The guy from the restaurant.’
Jack looked through the back window. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I think so.’
The high beams of the hearse went on, shooting light into the car. It glared off the mirror. Squinting against the painful brightness, Dani shoved the mirror. It tipped upward, shining at the ceiling.
Jack faced the front. ‘Obnoxious s.o.b.’
‘What does he want?’
‘Obviously, he wants to scare you.’
‘At least,’ Dani muttered.
‘You know, it might be a practical joke. Maybe someone hired this guy to throw a little fun into your life.’
‘It’s a
prank
?’
‘I wouldn’t rule it out. After all, look at the irony of it: the queen of horror effects pursued through the night by a creep in a hearse.’
Dani nodded. ‘It
could
be someone’s idea of a joke.’
‘Someone with a rather cruel and tasteless sense of humor.’
‘Michael?’
‘What about your old friend, Al?’
‘My God, do you know what film he’s on now?
The Undertaker
.’
Jack whistled. ‘I believe the mystery is solved.’
‘Not quite. How did he know we’d be at Joe Allen tonight?’
‘Could’ve followed us from the studio. He’d recognise your car, wouldn’t he?’
‘Sure.’
‘The weirdo didn’t show up till we were done eating. Al probably phoned, let him know where to find us, and the guy hustled on over.’
‘Al’s certainly capable of it,’ Dani said. ‘I wouldn’t put it past him, but . . . I don’t know.’
‘It’s the only solution that makes sense.’
‘Don’t!’ she cried as Jack pushed open the door.
‘I’ll be right back.’
‘Jack, for Godsake!’
He flung the door shut and marched toward the hearse. Dani sprang from the car. She took a step toward the hearse, but fear hit her like an icy gale, forcing her backwards against the open door.
‘Jack, come on!’
He tugged at the handle of the passenger door. The hearse rocked slightly.
Then the driver’s door flew open. The man leaped out and ran at Dani, arms out, mouth agape.
His pointed teeth, she knew at once, were plastic vampire fangs.
A gag. It’s all a sick gag.
Jack was charging past the front of the hearse, trying to head him off. But Dani saw that he wouldn’t make it.
The lunging, cadaverous man was already too close, his demented murmur loud in Dani’s ears.
She jumped into the car and slammed the door. As she pounded the lock button down, he grabbed the outside handle. He jerked it, shaking the car.
Then he pressed his young face to the window. He grinned like a madman, his nose and chin mashed against the pane, his eyes rolling. His tongue darted out between his plastic fangs and licked the glass.
Jack reached for him, but he jumped back, whirled around and ran.
Jack dashed after him. They sprinted up the street. The boy had given up his weird, hunched gait. He ran,
now
, with amazing speed, his head tucked down, his arms pumping, his legs whipping out in long, quick strides. The gap between him and Jack slowly widened. He cut to the right and raced up a lawn. As he vanished behind the corner of a dark house, Jack wheeled around and ran back.
Leaning across the seat, Dani opened the door for him.
But he didn’t get in. He rushed by. Twisting around, Dani saw him crouch beside a front tire of the hearse. He removed something, flicked it away. The air cap? His hand shoved into a pocket and came out with a small object Dani couldn’t see. He pressed it to the tire.
She looked toward the house, studied the darkness at both sides. The boy was nowhere to be seen.
She turned around. Jack still crouched by the tire.
‘Hurry,’ she whispered.
Then she realised that she could help. She shoved the shift into first, swung the car into a driveway on the left, and backed out.
She stopped beside the hearse.
Jack stood up. He stepped away from the flat tire and slipped his key case into his pocket. Then he climbed in beside Dani.
In the dome light, she saw speckles of sweat on his forehead. He grinned at her, looking both angry and gleeful. ‘That’ll fix the little asshole,’ he said, and swung the door shut.
Dani sped toward the rushing headlights of traffic on Laurel Canyon.
D
RIVING UP
Asher Lane, Dani kept her eyes on the rearview mirror. Headlights pushed through the darkness on Laurel Canyon, but none swept onto the narrow road.
As a precaution, she killed her own headlights. The arc lamps along the lane were spaced far apart with dark gaps separating their pools of light, but they gave enough brightness to steer by.
‘I think we’re okay,’ Jack said. ‘Even if he had an air can, we got a big enough jump on him.’
‘Hope so,’ Dani muttered.
She pulled into her driveway and stopped beside Jack’s Mustang. She turned off the engine. Leaning against the steering wheel, she let out a shaky sigh. Jack’s hand stroked her back.
‘It’s all right now,’ he said.
‘Will you come in with me?’
‘Sure.’
‘I’m just . . . it really shook me up a bit.’
‘I know. Me, too. But I’m sure . . . the guy was probably harmless, just doing what he was paid for. Al or Michael
–
whoever’s behind this – probably dug him up at central casting.’
‘Or Forest Lawn.’
Jack laughed softly. His big, warm hand continued to rub her back. ‘I . . .’
Dani waited. ‘What?’
‘Well,’ he sighed. ‘I do think we’ve lost the guy, but we ought to play it safe.’
Dani raised her head off the backs of her hands and looked at him. His face was a pale smudge, his familiar features masked by darkness. Only the feel of his hand assured Dani that this was Jack and not a stranger.
‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
‘He might . . . I don’t think we should leave your car here.’
‘Oh Jack,’ she said.
‘Maybe I’m over-reacting, but we don’t want this guy to find out where you live. If we leave it here, it’s like a name tag.’
Her mind fought against the suggestion. Couldn’t she even park in front of her own house? What about tomorrow and the next day? ‘You could’ve gone all night without saying that.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘He doesn’t know which street we’re on.’
‘He’s only one away.’
‘Al knows my address. If he hired the guy . . .’
‘What if he didn’t?’
‘Oh shit. Then who
is
he?’
Jack shook his head. ‘Maybe we can get it into the garage.’
The garage was her workshop, crowded with shelves, a workbench and tables, lamps and stools, all the tools of her craft and the make-up appliances she’d created for a dozen different films. She considered trying to clear a space. ‘That’d take . . . no, forget it.’
‘Let’s park it up the street, then.’
‘In front of somebody
else’s
house?’
‘Got any obnoxious neighbors?’
She surprised herself by laughing. ‘That’s wicked.’ The laughter seemed to nudge her fear aside. When she finished, she found herself almost calm. ‘Look, let’s go inside. We’ll leave the car here. If this kid’s so goddamn determined to find my house, he’ll manage it one way or another, anyhow. Sooner or later. I’m not, for Godsake, going to spend the rest of my life hiding from him.’
Jack squeezed her shoulder. ‘Let’s go in, then.’
They climbed from the car. As they walked over the cobblestones toward the front door, Dani heard a car engine. Her knees went weak. Looking around, she saw a car gliding slowly up the street. It passed.
A pale Mercedes.
With a sigh, she hurried into the dark recess of the front stoop. Jack stood beside her as she unlocked the door. They stepped into the lighted foyer. She shut the door and secured its guard chain.
Jack’s hands curled over her shoulders. He turned her around, pulled her gently against him. She held
him
tightly. The strength of his body felt safe and comfortable.
‘Thank God you were with me tonight,’ she said. She tilted her head back, and they kissed. The pressure of his mouth soothed her. The tension eased out. She felt peaceful enough to fall asleep in his arms.
Then his mouth went away. ‘I think it’s time to call the police.’
‘Oh no.’
‘If the guy’s still in the neighborhood, they might pick him up.’
‘Yeah. All right.’ Reluctantly, she let go of Jack. He kept hold of her hand, and they walked away from the door. The living room was lighted by a single lamp. The black expanse of its picture windows, at the rear, made her nervous. Leaving Jack, she hurried across the carpet to the draw cords. She kept her eyes down, unwilling to look at the window, afraid of what she might see in the darkness beyond. As she closed the curtains, she heard Jack dialing.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We have a prowler . . . 822 Asher Lane . . . Laurel Canyon Boulevard . . . Okay, thanks.’ He hung up.
‘A prowler?’ Dani asked.
‘Close enough.’
‘How about a drink?’ she asked, and turned on a lamp by the couch.