The Brick said, “The bomb dog will inspect your gifts. You will both be searched very well. If you pass, the gentleman will see you.” Then he frisked me. When he finished, I lit a cigarette, ordered him some flowers, and made a note to find a day when the two of us could go pick out curtains.
The bomb dog took care of business as soon as he got out on some grass, but showed no interest in the gifts. When he finished, I held the gifts while a lady goon in a suit and simple scarf
hijab
frisked Rose.
After Lady Goon finished and gave the all-clear, Rose asked her something in Arabic. Lady Goon looked surprised, but produced an emergency backup scarf from her jacket and arranged it on Rose, keeping the folds well-clear of her neckline.
Hair bad, boobs good. Welcome to Vegas.
As Mister M and family emerged from the terminal, the Brick told me, “Do not speak or step forward until I introduce the gentleman to you. Do not look at his wives unless he introduces them to you, which he will not do. Your lady should not speak unless asked a question. If my employer accepts your gifts, Qadriyah will walk with your lady to meet the gentleman’s wives. The ladies do not give their names to those they don’t know, and will not open the presents here. That is custom and not intended to give offense. Do not express admiration for anything the gentleman owns. If he admires something of yours, which I cannot see him doing, custom is to present it to him. Conversation should be brief, and will end at the gentleman’s order.”
“Got it.” I decided not to tell him Karen already gave me the ladies’ names.
Mister M was far younger than I’d pictured—only a few years older than me, medium athletic build, short beard, famous-label designer suit and Italian loafers, hair hidden under a plain white
keffiyeh
. His wives were wearing colorful, Western-style, but still modest, clothes and matching
hijab
. Two more lady goons stood on either side of the three wives, watching everything in the area.
The Brick made introductions and stepped out of the way. Mister M clasped hands with me and nodded toward Rose. Lady Goon—Qadriyah, I presumed—led Rose to the senior wife and stood to the side while Rose presented herself and her gifts in Arabic. The ladies appeared to be delighted, even smiling a bit.
Mister M watched the gift exchange with a wry smile. “A clever thought, my friend. May I ask who whispered the idea to you?”
I handed him Karen’s business card. “She met you—”
“I remember her.” He handed the card to the Brick. “Perhaps I will speak with her. This is your wife?”
“My fiancée.”
“I see.” He looked at his entourage and sighed. “Will you have children at once, or do you prefer to wait?”
“I’m afraid children are…denied us,” I said. “Rose was injured two years ago. She’s still trying to get over it, but it’s hard.”
“I am denied children as well. I know the empty place it leaves in the heart. It is worse for a woman. If your gifts bring happiness to my household, even for a few hours, I will be in your debt.” He laughed and clapped me on the shoulder. “It is a good place to be sitting, is it not?” He kept laughing and climbed into his limo. Everyone else followed, filling the limos to capacity. The Brick waited until last, checking people off on a tally sheet. Once everyone was accounted for, he whistled once and climbed into the passenger seat of the first limo. They caravanned up and took off, heading for the exit and the Strip.
I took Rose’s hands and raised my eyebrow. Rose nodded and started laughing. “I think we made some friends tonight.” I pulled her into my arms for a long kiss. All the way back to the Trove, we stood in the open sunroof drinking honey-gold two-hundred-dollar Champagne right from the bottle, toasting the city, our success, and each other.
Viva Las Vegas, bitches.
The End of an Error
“You stupid, arrogant asshole. I swear, you don’t have the sense the Goddess gave roadkill! What the hell were you thinking, pulling that shit?”
Mitch pushed forward, nose-to-nose with me. “I was thinking how we could attract people! I was thinking of giving people something to talk about! I was thinking you hired the ugliest hookers in the whole city, so I tried to fix that one little thing. You should thank me!”
“I
should
yank your ballsack off like a paper towel!”
It was a good line, of course I stole it. Still, as much as I wanted to pound Mitch’s ass into the ground, I couldn’t. Too many witnesses.
This was the last straw, though. Sexual harassment voided his contract. No retirement, no golden parachute, no stock options. I couldn’t help but smile at him; I’d been waiting for this moment for over a year. I pulled power from Rose as fast as she could feed it to me and locked eyes with Mitch.
“Don’t look away,” I told him. “You’re fired, effective right now. When we leave the bathroom, you’re going to apologize to those women for your behavior. We’re going down to your room and you’re going to give me your credit cards, company ID, show tickets, and exhibitor pass. You’re going to spend the next four days anywhere but at this convention. Now, repeat your instructions.”
He did.
I dragged him out of the bathroom and into the middle of our hospitality suite. “Folks, Mitch wants to say something. Mitch?”
Mitch looked around the suite, bare feet fidgeting on the carpet. He looked around, trying to find some support. There wasn’t much. Our four greeters were sitting next to Nadia—although Frisco was just about cozy with Vex. Their expressions ranged from tearful to furious. Four blonde ladies in chainmail bikinis and thong underwear sat across the room, looking bored and checking their watches.
Mitch cleared his throat. “I’d like to apologize for my behavior, especially to the ladies. It was inappropriate and uncalled for.” He looked at the four blondes and added, “I owe you an apology as well. I didn’t have permission to hire you and I can’t pay you. I’m sorry.” He looked back at me for approval.
I said, “Mitch is no longer with the company. However, this is not the place to be airing dirty laundry, so, don’t. If it comes up for any reason, he’s on vacation.”
“What about us?” One of the blondes had her cell phone out, ready to dial. “This asshole hired us to work four whole days. That’s three grand a day each you owe us, mother—”
I jabbed my finger at her. “Don’t you say that.” It took me a second to realize why half the room was snickering. “If you had a contract, it was with him. And it died with his career. Take your stuff and go. You can keep the costumes.” I took Mitch’s arm. “We have an appointment in your room. Let’s go.” I followed him out the door.
“Bullshit!” The angry one jumped to her feet and started toward me. “We’re not leaving empty-handed.”
The other three girls stood up and pulled their friend back. “Circe, chill out. You’re going to get the cops called. We got stiffed, that’s all. Anything we put on that card, boss man here is going to dispute. Besides, we got rooms, tickets, costumes, and a hundred thousand horny nerds to party with. Even you can sell dances to this crowd. Now get your skinny little twenty-dollar ass moving.”
Circe grabbed her gym bag off the floor. “Screw you, Chelli, and screw all y’all, too.” She stormed out into the hall, nearly running over a skinny guy in an “I Love Elf Chicks” T-shirt. She muttered, “’Scuse me,” and stepped past him.
“Miss!” He waved until she turned around. “Are you, um, a, ah, hook… Um, a prost…Umm, I mean, a lady of the…?” He flushed a bright red and backed toward his room door.
Circe went from diva to temptress in an instant and pounced like a hawk on a baby rabbit. “Prostitution’s illegal in Clark County, honey.” She traced her finger across her lips and down the middle of her chest. “But, if you buy me something to drink and some chocolate-covered strawberries, we can go to your room and you can tell me all about those elf girls you like so much.”
He pulled out his key card and fumbled with the lock. “I have a spare set of ear tips…”
Circe took the card away and opened the door for him. “That’s an extra fifty, baby.” She waved at her friends and closed the room door behind her.
With the drama resolved, I got Mitch into his room and collected his credentials. I called the front desk and paid his room rental for the convention, as I’d agreed. I talked to the manager and made sure they replaced the company card with one of Mitch’s.
After I hung up, I collected his computer and cell phone. “Enjoy your life, Mitch. You might want to start updating your resume.” Mitch just sat there, staring at the floor.
As I opened the door, Mitch muttered, “This isn’t over, asshole. Someday, when you least expect it, I’m gonna get you.”
“And my little dog, too, I suppose.” I closed the door so no one could hear us. “You still have your pathetic little life. Take it and go while you can. I want you to live out your life in peace and happiness, as long as you never cross me again. Do anything stupid, mess with me in any way, and your parents will live out their lives wondering what happened to you.”
He sneered. “Empty threats don’t scare me. You don’t have the balls.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t kill you. I’ll drop you off in the middle of a lifeless nuclear wasteland on a dying world. No water. No weapons. No way home. You’ll die alone and afraid, and your bones will bleach in the sun.” I locked eyes with him again. “You can’t tell anyone I said that, either. Goodbye, Mitch.”
Back in the hospitality suite, I took a moment to compose myself before opening the door. “I’m sorry, folks. I wanted to fire Mitch a year ago, but he had a separation clause that would have bankrupted the company. I had to wait until I could fire him for cause. I take responsibility for what he did, because it’s my fault he had a chance to do it.”
“Don’t say that,” Nadia interjected.
“I appreciate the support,” I said. “But I’m trying to be honest and open—”
“Stop. Talking.” Nadia pulled at her hair in frustration. “David, you just admitted to negligent retention, possibly even other stuff. It’s noble of you to try to take the heat, but you don’t want to be bent over a barrel for him.”
“I’m not… It’s just…
arrgh
.” I shook my head, trying to find the right words. “It comes down to the captain being responsible for the actions of the crew.”
“Yeah, we get that,” Nadia replied. “Now stop. You’re not the one who made the ‘mouths shut, tits out’ statement. In fact, you fixed the issue. Now, can we go out and have some fun? My parents have dragged me to this city a couple times a year since I was eight. This time, I’m old enough to take it all in. Let’s hit a nightclub.”
The group whistled and clapped. I said, “Isn’t there supposed to be a club in one of the towers?”
Frisco laughed. “Yeah, Epic. It opened on Monday. The grand opening is tomorrow, but there’s no way we’re getting in. Well, Rose might. The rest of us will just be standing in line until it closes.”
Nadia asked, “What time does it open?”
Frisco said, “Eight. Why does it matter?”
“I might be able to get us in.” Nadia got her cell phone out. “Be ready to go in ten minutes.” She walked into her room and closed the door behind her.
“No way she pulls this off,” Frisco said.
Rose got up. “Dibs on the master bathroom,” she called. The rest of the ladies looked at each other and the scramble for mirror space commenced.
I looked at my shirt and decided to change. “Inspection in ten, guys. The ladies are counting on us not to embarrass them.” Only Vex got up and headed for the door. I looked at the others and said, “Guys, the ladies are getting ready for hot dates at a fancy nightclub.
This is not a drill!
” They saw the light and left with Vex. I ran to our room and found all our suitcases still on the bed. I found a usable shirt, brushed my hair, and snagged the box with Rose’s favorite jewelry in it.
Back in the suite, almost everyone was ready. Rose handed me the pearl strand to put in the room safe and donned her gold and ruby jewelry. I realized I’d forgotten to exhale somewhere in there and grabbed a quick breath. Nadia might be able to get us into the club, but Rose looked like she belonged there.
Nadia poked her head of the bathroom and asked, “Could Shae borrow the pearls for tonight? I’ll stand the price if anything happens. She needs something, and I think that would do it.”
“Sure. I take it you convinced them to let us in?” I handed her the necklace.
She nodded and lowered her voice. “Oh, yeah. VIP level and a thousand dollar credit at the bar. Also, I got you and Rose on the list for the grand opening of the Warchief’s Hall tomorrow at midnight. I want to introduce you to my parents and that’s the one spot I know they’ll be.”
“The Warchief’s Hall? Never heard of it.”
“It’s a private topless club with high-stakes tables. Supposedly it’s all barbarian chic. I guess that means Genghis Khan with throw pillows.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can’t wait to see it.”
It took a few minutes longer to get everyone together, but by eight twenty, we were walking past the line for the elevator to Epic, accompanied by a collection of jeers and cat-calls. They stopped when the Sun Elf woman holding the clipboard opened the rope and allowed us into the elevator. By the time the doors closed behind us, all we heard was begging.
The doors opened onto a schizophrenic scene. The club was circular, heavy on the crimson and gold decorations, with floor to ceiling windows. Two doors led to a walkway running around the outside of the club, set with small tables and padded benches. Tables and a platform for the band bordered the central dance floor. Sun Elf waitresses in tight miniskirts saw to the patrons, while a pair of Succubi tended bar. Behind the elevator, two bouncers in muscle shirts and another Sun Elf woman guarded the stairs up to the VIP area.
As we walked through the club, an all-too-familiar face emerged from the crowd, surrounded by a handful of faces I knew only by picture and reputation. Neil Orrin, president of Marathon games. I saw his smile and gave him a nod, but kept walking.