Danya hurled herself on Willow and teleported the two of them back to the hotel. I doubt any bookie in Vegas would lay odds against an evening of crying, chocolate, and make-up sex.
Lilah was up and around, looking none the worse for wear thanks to Aerin’s healing. Aerin had described her as looking like a barbarian queen, and damn, she fit the bill. During the attack, she killed two of the scarecrows with a wood axe and injured three more, and that was after being hit with a Taser. The women in her group were generally coping well, and none had more than minor injuries.
Angus lifted the surviving scarecrow and leaned her against the rock face. “You might want to reconsider your loyalties,” he told her. “I lived four hundred years under your boss’ rule. I’ve seen what she does to failures. You won’t like it.”
She didn’t say anything, but then she saw me. Her body convulsed and every inch of skin on her front side burst out, away from her bones, spraying a cloud of blood at me. Some caught the arm of my shirt. It thickened and spread, hissing and boiling as it did, trying to eat through my shirt sleeves. Turgid ropes of blood snaked up my arm, lashing around my bicep and digging in.
I yanked my shirt off and pulled it inside-out over the blood-blob. I couldn’t get my hand out in time. The monster seized my hand from thumb to ring finger. Just like that, I couldn’t move my fingers, but I could feel the blood-thing’s touch burning like acid. My arm jerked back just out of reflex and I pulled my hand free.
Most of the skin was burned off and the muscle was in bad shape. The blood spray that hadn’t hit me coalesced together and lurched forward, absorbing the remains of my shirt and the blob inside it. The mass pulled back long enough to form more ropy tendrils, lashing them at my face and arms.
This time, I had Kindness.
I ignored the tendrils and sliced across the central mass. Two tendrils collapsed into a noxious heap of putrefying ooze. The remaining two wrapped around my arm. They tried to pull me into the slime; I went with it and brought Kindness down in a diagonal chop, slicing the thing in half. The chunks recoiled, hissing and dissolving just as the tendrils did.
I stepped back and fell to my knees. Kindness slipped from my grasp as the pain from my burned hand overloaded the adrenaline in my system. Angus caught me and lowered me to a sitting position. He recited a prayer in Gaelic, holding his palm over my injured fingers. A wind came up, swirling around us. It was cool and moist, rich with the smells of the deep forest. My whole hand glowed green, and in the light, muscle filled in and skin grew back until my hand was whole.
My hand didn’t have any scars, or calluses, or any dirt under my new fingernails. Nor did it have any tan to it. It was as soft, smooth, and pink as a newborn’s backside.
“Mmm. Probably need a glove. Wear sunscreen for a month or so. May I tend your blade?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer, but I could tell the gunk on Kindness wasn’t coming off with a flick of the wrist. I nodded. “Please. I’m not sure what to use on killer blood slime residue.”
Angus rummaged through the hidden pocket of his leather wallet and withdrew a bundle of leaves tied with string. Inside, he had a pile of gritty black ash. The ash burst into flame as he sprinkled it on the gunk. Once Kindness was clean, he sprinkled half the bundle on the blood beast and on the remains of the priestess. The fire consumed both in the time it took me to draw two breaths.
“Phoenix ash. It’ll purify anything.” Angus tucked it away and removed another bundle. This time he unrolled a ten foot by ten foot Movable Hole onto the ground, making an instant pit twenty feet deep. “Mind lending a hand with these assholes?”
“Sure.”
Rose joined us for the body-tossing. When we finished, Nadia made a scooping gesture and every bit of dirt and soil the bodies had touched or bled on flowed over the edge and into the hole. Angus gave the area another going over before peeling the Movable Hole off the ground and rolling it up again. Where the hole had been, the ground was back and not a stone was out of place.
The women in Lilah’s group filled their guide’s Suburban, all asleep, even the guide. Lilah gave Aerin a goodbye kiss and spared the rest of us a smile. “Nice to meet you all, and thanks for the help.”
Aerin caught a stone out of her swarm and handed it to Lilah. “Hang on to this. It’s got three full-power
Painwebs
, one
Volcanic Death Cloud
, and half a dozen
Paralytic Stuns
.”
“What’s the command word?”
Aerin shook the stone and held it up to her ear. “The usual. FYA.”
“That’s good, but I can’t drive, aim, and raise the Impudent Finger at the same time.” She tossed the stone into the air and it vanished. “I’ll call when we get to Barstow.”
“You’d better.” Aerin kissed her again, lingering a moment before stepping away and casting another spell. When she finished, I couldn’t look directly at the Suburban. Trying harder just gave me a headache. I couldn’t tell you when it drove off, other than Aerin turning to cry on Angus’ shoulder.
But it did give me an idea.
Road Trip
“Well, that was Crom, all right.” Nadia drummed her fingers on the patio table. “I know he’s given others the same experience when they needed some encouragement. He wasn’t trying to intimidate you; he just wanted you to know he’s real.”
The memory of that mountaintop was enough to make me shiver. “I didn’t have any doubts on that score. That still doesn’t explain what this junker in the middle of the desert has to do with anything. I mean, I get that it’s a McGuffin of some kind, but I’d like to have a better idea of what’s happening before waltzing into the middle of it.”
Rose tossed a road map or Arizona on the table. “With two people and some magic, I can maintain sixty miles an hour, as long as we don’t go too high. Four hundred miles, with rest breaks, seven hours. Any chance someone in this tiny little town will have a nice juicy cow they won’t miss?”
“You might score some javelina on the way,” I said. “Nadia, what about teleporting us?”
“I’d have to see the target landing zone,” she said. “Mother’s crystal can take care of that if we use it in the morning, but I’ll be down a lot of spell energy if things turn hairy.”
“How exactly do your spells work?” I asked. “Is it like spell points, or a mana pool…”
Nadia arched one eyebrow. “Seriously? Game mechanics? You’re going to ask this shit now?”
“Yes,” I replied. “It would help if I understood how you power your spells and how much you have available to dump out when things go sideways. It’s in a way of being important here.”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, but continued. “
Spell memorization is the closest system, but that’s a terrible description. I charge up the spells I want to use and hold them until needed. Casting them is faster and they hit harder than if I cast using my personal energy. I need to be rested to charge up my spells, unless I’m standing on a ley line.
I can cast spells for less effect, or burn a lot of power and overcharge one. Does that help?”
“Yes. Do you know any spells capable of repairing cars?”
That set her back in her seat. “I…know a few spells for mending broken items. The only thing I’ve done with a car was repair a flat tire and pull air in to re-inflate it. I could try a few spells, but…honestly, I think you’d be better off fixing it manually rather than waiting to see if I can fake something up.”
“With luck, it won’t be an issue,” I said.
Rose got up and retrieved Aerin’s crystal ball. “If there is a chance this car will need repairs, we will need as much time as possible to carry them out. I think we should teleport in, grab the car, and get the repairs started. Nadia, we’ll find a hotel and let you get your rest. Anyone have a better idea?”
None were forthcoming.
Rose leaned over the crystal ball, cupping her hands around it until an image of the salvage yard in Kayenta appeared. The sign on the door said they were closed, but a guy in his early twenties was in the garage overhauling a carburetor while a huge 1980s-era boombox hanging on a pegboard blasted out a collection of disco classics. The yard was dark, but the area around the office had plenty of light.
Nadia looked at the projection from several angles and nodded. “Let’s do this. Maybe this guy can suggest a good hotel.”
Rose dismissed the image and stretched until her back made popping noises. “Bathroom first. I will never understand why you Humans weren’t designed to recycle your body’s water after filtering waste. It’s just so much more efficient.”
Nadia stopped and stared at her. “You know, I don’t think even the most high-nosed of Elves could manage a good retort to that.”
“That’s why my people are the paragons all other life forms envy and aspire to become.”
They disappeared down the hall leading to the first floor main bathroom, so I didn’t catch Nadia’s reply. I ducked into the cook’s alcove and resolved not to get pulled into the discussion. When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.
When I came out of the bathroom, Aerin was checking on Josephine, rattling off her vitals in a sharp, professional voice while a quill pen transcribed her words into a battered leather-covered journal. The only part I understood was that both pupils were equal and reactive, which I’m pretty sure is a good thing. The nylon gear bag she was working out of had a logo on the side for Santa Barbara’s emergency services. Inside it, I could see a crapload of medical equipment and supplies.
Aerin hung an IV bag of lactated ringers on a collapsible stand and slipped the needle into Josephine’s arm, moving with unusual speed and grace. Once she taped down the tubing, Aerin set up a blood oxygen meter and taped the pickup to Josephine’s finger before noticing me. She gave me a short nod and finished with her notes.
When the quill stopped writing and the book closed itself, I said, “I know the Llewellyn family tries to stay away from regular doctors, but…isn’t there anyone available who has medical training?”
Aerin laughed. “I’m a fully certified Paramedic. Flight-rated too. Taking three or four shifts a week keeps me entertained and out of trouble.” She looked down at Josephine and her smile faded. “Nobody dies in my rig. Ever.”
“Doesn’t a record like that get noticed?”
She nodded. “Yes. When I’m on, my rig gets sent to trauma calls first. Car crashes, gunshot wounds, drug overdoses, you name it. My partners don’t say anything and don’t ask questions.” She looked past me as Rose and Nadia re-entered the kitchen. “What are you three up to now?”
“We’re on a mission from God,” I said.
“Which one?”
I hesitated, but I couldn’t think of a reason not to answer. “Crom. Unless you know someone else who lives at the top of a snow-covered mountain range.”
Aerin thought for a few seconds but shook her head. “There might be, but offhand I don’t know of anyone. What does the Boss want you to do?”
“Steal a car from a Navajo reservation and bring it to Vegas by seven fifteen tomorrow night.” I threw my hands up. “Any idea what your boss would want with a junked car?”
“I’ll ask.” Aerin’s eyes unfocused and the temperature around her dropped like a rock. Snowflakes swirled around our feet and fell, melting, to the floor. Aerin’s eyes cleared and she shook her head. “He’s keeping your mission a secret. You have the knowledge you need to figure it out when you get there. That also means you can’t talk if you’re caught and tortured. It has to be something serious.”
“Oh, well, that’s good. I was afraid he was just sending us out to get coffee and a blueberry scone.” I tried not to sound irritated, but I’m not sure I succeeded. “I hate adventures where the GM wants us to figure out the goal and won’t give us any clues to work from.”
Aerin snorted. “No kidding. My first adventuring company got sent to a haunted, monster-infested ruin once, with orders to return with a pinecone taken from a tree growing in the heart of an old temple.” She sighed and shook her head. “We thought it was some kind of holy relic or something. It took us two months to prepare for that run, and when we finally returned, totally beat to shit, the priest who hired us gave us a ‘good job’ and tossed the pinecone into his fireplace. It was just a damn pinecone the whole time. The priest thought we needed some toughening up, so he decided to push us into something we’d never have done otherwise.”
Nadia paused from arranging her gear bag. “I doubt this is a pinecone run. The stakes are too high. We’ll let you know as soon as we find anything.”
Aerin tried to smile, but her fingers kept tapping against the table. “Let us know when you get there. How are you set for gear? Maybe some of the Houseguard should go with you.”
“Mother, I don’t need the Houseguard babysitting me.” Nadia inspected a glass vial inscribed with a sunburst and tucked it into a folded pair of socks. “We have an adult Dragon with us. Besides, they’re all looking forward to assaulting the Bloodmaiden’s followers with you. None of them want to miss all the fun of storming the castle.”
“We’re storming a castle?” Aerin looked blank for a moment. “Oh, right. Yeah, they would pout. Still…hang on a second.” After making sure Angus was in the front room, she pulled a steel footlocker off her charm bracelet and dug out two dark green cylinders the size of beer cans. “Take these just in case. Angus calls them plasma grenades. I’m not sure what they do, but it has to be something nasty.”
Nadia looked like she’d just been given a handful of dead rats. “Oh, yay, my ovaries will glow in the dark now.”