Never Had a Dream Come True (28 page)

He ignored the helpful footmen and carried her himself up the staircase and into her room, where he carefully laid her down on the bed. He practically growled at the maids who rushed into the room to assist him, and his ferocious manner sent them running.

He couldn’t leave her. Not like this.

She stared silently out into the air, her unseeing eyes filled to the brim with tears which never fell. Silently he helped her undress while he desperately tried to ignore the shivers which went through her body every time he happened to touch her.

She still hadn’t said a word about what had happened during the two hours she had been in Lord Bolton’s house. Lord Nester’s driver, who wasn’t overly impressed by his employer and was therefore quite talkative, had been the only source of information they had.

Lord Bolton and Lord Nester had been sitting in the study, lightly sharing some jokes over a glass of port, when the Darlings rushed through the door. When Rake looked into Lord Bolton’s gloating eyes, his mind went blank and his fist had landed firmly on the man’s aristocratically straight nose and forever changed its appearance.

After that satisfaction, he couldn’t really remember what he had done, not until he stood over the bed where Penny lay outstretched, her arms and legs tied to the bedposts in preparation for the evil man to have his way with her.

When Rake entered the room, she turned her head away and refused to look at him, which he was thankful for at the time, as he cried the whole time he was unfastening the ropes around her hands and feet.

His brothers had been just as angry as him, although their anger seemed to end as soon as they left the Bolton townhouse behind them with Penny secure in Rake’s arms.

But Rake couldn’t stop the anger which raged through him. As he stood by Penny’s bed in the Darling townhouse and looked at her stiff back under the covers, all that was visible of her now that she was tucked in, he could hardly breathe because his chest hurt so much.

Seething anger was eating him up from inside out, and he knew he soon wouldn’t be able to control it. The anger he felt toward her selfish father and that bastard Lord Bolton was nothing to the anger he felt toward Penny for denying him the truth.

What her father had done to her was beyond him. How could anyone so coldly and without remorse give away his daughter to a man as cruel and vicious as Lord Bolton? Those two, he was told, had known each other since their childhood days, and Lord Nester must have been aware of—or at least had an idea of—what Penny would live through when he had given her to his friend.

That men like Lord Bolton existed was no news to Rake. He had heard rumors about satanic men who could perform sexually only if there was pain involved. But he had never heard Lord Bolton’s name mentioned. As a matter of fact, he had never met the man before, which also was kind of strange, as Rake always had spent the months of the Season socializing as much as possible.

“Go away.” Her fragile voice broke through his thoughts, even though it was only a shadow of a whisper.

“I will.”

But he didn’t do as he said. Instead he stayed, not able to move because of all the answers he desperately needed and only she could give.

“Please, Rake, just go away.”

He heard the tears in her voice, and for a second his heart softened toward her, but the rage inside him quickly hardened his heart again. This was not the time to leave her alone, not the time for her to deal alone with what had happened. He had done that once before, and it had been six months in hell for both of them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He saw her back stiffen more over his harsh question, but she stayed quiet, as if she thought he would go away if she refused to oblige him. It didn’t matter, though, as he could wait the whole night for her to come clean with him if he had to.

This time he was going to get her to speak the truth, no matter what.

“
Why
didn’t you tell
me
?” he repeated his question, and the anger he felt was clearly audible in his clipped voice.

“I can’t deal with this right now,” she cried and curled her body into a small ball as if trying to save herself from him. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“I will leave you for as long as you like, but not until you have told me everything I want to know. Everything I deserve to know.”

Finally he got some response from her, as she suddenly sat up in the bed and turned to stare at him with tears and confusion in her violet eyes.

“You think you deserve to know everything about me? Why?”

“Because I do.”

“It’s not for you to know about. I chose not to talk about what happened because it hurt me too much every time I did, as I had to relive it over and over again. I didn’t want to tell you then, and I definitely don’t want to talk about it with you now.”

“You told Thomas Bedford.”

She snorted angrily, as the weepy martyr faded away and the stubborn young woman started to return. “I see. Thomas. He’s what this is all about. Why on earth shouldn’t I have told Thomas what I had been through? He proposed to me, remember? How could I accept him without letting him know why I was living at Chester Park and why I was alienated from my parents?”

“You are mine.”

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are. You love me, remember?”

She leaned back into the bed with her arms crossed over her chest. “Of course I remember, but that has nothing to do with this. Nothing!”

“It has everything to do with this. You say you love me, but how can I believe you when you don’t trust me at all?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I trust you. I always have and always will.”

He shook his head with a wry smile. “No, you don’t. You don’t trust me, and you certainly don’t believe in me.”

“Rake…”

Her voice trailed off, and she hid her face against her knees. He sat on the bed beside her and softened his voice as much as he could.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

At first he thought she wasn’t going to answer, but just as he was going to force her to look at him, her head moved and he met her sad eyes.

“Because I was so embarrassed.”

Of all the answers he had thought she could possibly give him, this had not been on his list.

“Embarrassed?” His voice cracked with the strain of the emotional storm building inside him.

“H-how could I tell you how unwanted I-I was? My father gave me away, Rake. He left me in the hands of a man who wanted nothing more than to hurt me. How could I tell you that? How could I let you know how unwanted I really am?”

“All I wanted was the truth.” He closed his eyes to hold back the tears which threatened to burst forward again, and he felt her hand lightly—almost hesitantly—touch his arm.

“All I wanted was you.”

She leaned her forehead against his shoulder as she whispered her confession on a ragged breath. The rage inside him wasn’t mellowing. Instead it increased with every word she uttered, and he knew he had to get away from her if he was ever going to be able to face her again.

Not caring about her gentle touch, he stood up and ignored her shivering confusion. “This can’t go on, Penny. We can’t continue like this. I’m leaving now. I can’t handle this anymore. Not like this.”

And without another word or glance in her direction he walked out, ignoring the crowd of Darlings standing outside the open door to overhear every heartbreaking word.

“Rake…” Jamie put a hand on his arm as he passed, but he only shrugged it off. He didn’t need his twin brother right now. Jamie too kept secrets from him, secrets about what he had endured during his time in France, and Rake had had it with half-truths and self-destructive silence.

Downstairs, he sent for his phaeton and after grabbing a jacket from the closet he walked out through the front door.

As soon as the carriage arrived, he jumped up into it and, without looking back, he left his home and everyone he loved.

“Don’t you think it’s time for you to admit you have been handling the whole Rake situation quite badly?”

Penny looked up from the charming baby she held in her arms and frowned at Francesca.

“I have not.”

“Come on, Penny. You have been nothing but against him ever since he finally woke up and realized you had turned into a beautiful woman and no longer saw you as an annoying little sister.”

“I have not!”

“Oh, yes, you have,” Devlin commented.

Francesca glared at her interfering husband. “If we want your opinion we will ask for it. Now, please give me my daughter before you leave.”

Devlin ignored his wife and looked down at their lovely little child resting sweetly in his arms, and the smile on his face was filled with fatherly love and pride.

“Isn’t she pretty?”

Penny laughed and nodded in full agreement. “Immensely so. I never thought a man could look so silly in love with a newborn girl.”

“I heard that.”

“Please ignore him. I do.”

The little one Penny held whimpered lightly and she rocked her arms slowly until the little sweetheart slept again. Penny hid her nose in the baby’s hair, thoroughly enjoying that special smell only babies had.

“I can hardly believe I’m a mother now,” Francesca said softly, and Penny looked up at her friend, who stared down with awe at the third of the triplets she held. “These three little girls are only three weeks old, and I can hardly believe how much I have come to love them during this short period. It’s such an amazing feeling, Penny, I can hardly explain it. Nothing matters more than Iris, Lily, and Rose. Nothing.”

“I’m devastated,” Devlin drawled. “Truly devastated.”

Penny felt a prick of envy as she watched the new parents share a look which told her all about how much they loved each other and how the three little girls—the masterpiece of their love—had brought them even closer together.

This was what she had longed for her whole life, this family life her beloved friend shared with her husband and their babies in their magnificent home. Again she put her nose to Iris’s hair to hide the tears which threatened to fill her eyes.

“He will come.”

Penny sighed. For being a worn-out mother of three, Francesca still didn’t miss much. “Of course he will come. His favorite niece and his best friend have had three daughters. Rake wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“And that’s when the mere presence of you will make him realize what he’s been hiding from, and he will wake up from whatever stupid thoughts he has been having over the last months.”

“You’re such a romantic, Fanny.” Penny couldn’t help but laugh over her friend’s innocence. “It will never happen. He told me he was through with me, remember?”

“I’m sure you misunderstood him. You have been quite good at that, you know.”

Penny sighed, recognizing the truth in her friend’s words. “I know. I haven’t been very good at listening to him, I’m afraid. But then he hasn’t really been understanding of me, either. I have more or less begged him to admit to me that he loves me, but it’s been useless. And now I’ve lost him.”

“I wouldn’t say you have lost him,” Devlin said with a wink, ignoring his wife’s frustrated sigh over his interference. Again. “You do know exactly where he is, so you could seek him out if you wanted to.”

“Is he still staying at Gentleman Jackson’s, pounding away on whoever dares to face him in the boxing ring?” Francesca asked her husband, and he nodded.

“Yes. Still staying with John and mauling whoever feels obliged to accommodate him. I don’t know what’s bothering him, but Jamie said Rake was angrier than he’s ever known him and had so many bruises his skin was almost blue. He refused to talk to his twin, whom he usually shares everything with, and in the end Jamie had to knock him down to be able to make him listen to his news about our babies.”

“But he did promise to come?”

“Yes, he did. He just had some things to do first, so Jamie had no choice but to leave him behind, as he wanted to come here to Pendragon as fast as possible.”

“It’s been two months now since he rescued you. Why is he still acting like an avenging idiot?” Francesca glared at Penny, who rolled her eyes over her friend’s inability to let a subject go.

“I have told you at least twenty times since we arrived last week that I don’t know. He wasn’t interested in enlightening me regarding his feelings. All he wanted was to know was why I kept him on the outside regarding my first encounter with Lord Bolton.”

“And you told him?”

“As I have told you before, yes, I did. And then he left me.”

“What did he say when he left?”

Before Penny had a chance to reply, Devlin sighed loudly enough that little Lily in his arms opened her golden eyes and stared up into her father’s face. “We have heard poor Auntie Penny repeat those words a hundred times by now. Yes, we have. And we think she doesn’t need to recite them to you again. No, she doesn’t.”

Francesca’s smile toward her husband was a strange mixture of exasperation and adoration, and Penny couldn’t hold back a giggle. Who would have thought the untouchable Duke of Hereford would turn into such a softhearted father?

Clearly not Francesca. She had admitted to Penny he drove her crazy sometimes, as he was constantly hovering around the girls, watching with hawk eyes everyone who came too close to them.

“I am glad he loves them as much as he does, but honestly, sometimes I wish he would spend a little more time with the supervisor of Pendragon, Mr. Brown, as he used to do before the girls were born. With three small babies, I need some peace and quiet, and having a lovesick father standing in the way as soon as any one of them makes a sound can get a bit frustrating,” she had whined when the two friends were alone, and Penny had fought hard not to let Francesca know how hilarious she found her.

“Time for the young ones to get their daily bath,” Nell said as she stepped into the room, followed by her two assisting maids.

Reluctantly Penny gave little Iris to one of the maids and watched them all disappear out through the door again with the babies.

“I think I’ll have to make sure they find their way to the nursery,” Devlin mumbled with a worried frown, and before Francesca or Penny had a chance to react he had left the two friends alone.