Nemesis (11 page)

As he took the blindfold off to general applause, I made myself turn back to the others, hoping no one had seen me gawking at him.

“Walker’s son?” asked another of the tech guys.

“That’s him,” said Andy. “You know, he broke into the Passages two years before we were allowed to go in there.”

I glanced over at Kay again, and I wasn’t the only one. Everyone at the table over by the bar seemed to be laughing at something he’d said. I’d never seen him like this, totally at ease. He’d never been that way around me. The opposite, if anything.

A pretty, raven-haired girl leaned over to whisper something in his ear. From the smirk on his face, I could hazard a guess that it was complimentary.

I wanted to hit something.

“Seriously? Who the hell’d do that?” I said, louder than I intended.

“A thrill-seeking lunatic,” said Andy.

“Heard he saved Central, though,” said one of the others. “Unless that was…?”

Now everyone was looking at
me.
My throat went dry, so I sipped vodka and coke to compensate and ended up choking.

“I said don’t mention you-know-what,” said Jeth, patting me on the back. “Go pester him, instead.”

“I tried,” said Andy. “Wouldn’t tell me a thing. You’d think we hadn’t been in the same class for five years.”

I said, “There’s a good reason. Both of us would get into trouble with the council for talking about it. It’s dangerous information.”

“Yes, it is,” said Jeth, nodding. “We aren’t trying to screw you guys over.”

“It’s cool,” said one of the others. “Just, you know, curiosity. Never been an attack on Central before. Thirty-odd years it’s been here, right near the Passages, and there has
never
been anything like that.”

“Yeah, it’s totally crazy,” said another guy, Vic. “Did you see the papers? Scare stories all around.”

“Like alien-abduction stories,” said Jeth, shaking his head. “Nothing new, really. Whenever something weird happens, it’s pinned on offworld. As an actual alien, technically, I take it as an insult.” He grinned. Jeth didn’t look conspicuously like he wasn’t from Earth. In fact, more than a few people thought he, Alber and I were actual siblings and Nell was our real mother, and we never bothered to correct them. Like my brothers, my tan was lighter than most Enzarians from living in England most of my life. It was only my real eyes, hidden, that marked me as different.

“Heh,” said Vic. “I guess you’d know about the Multiverse if you’re from offworld, though, right? Hey, don’t look at me like that. Everyone knows you’re from a mysterious, top-secret other world. Come on, you can’t expect us not to be a little curious.”

“All right,” I said, relenting. “How would you like being stared at all the time?”

“Wouldn’t mind it, actually.”

“Try going offworld, then,” I said, before I could stop myself. “Walk into the middle of a crowded city. Stares guaranteed.”

“Whoa there,” said Vic. “I was just messing with you.” He and Andy exchanged raised eyebrows.

“Sorry,” I said. “The interrogation doesn’t help.”

“None of us know anything about you,” he said. “People are just curious.”

I looked at Jeth, who shrugged. “I spent an hour answering questions on my first day. Problem solved.”

“If you say so.” I turned back to Vic, and gave a brief account, omitting the truth about my magic, of course. And the experiments. But the rest was dramatic enough. It was hard to avoid the temptation to turn around to see if Kay had seen me yet. But that was pathetic and stupid. Kay didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, as he’d made perfectly clear.

At least the guys were friendly, and the alcohol relaxed me for the first time in what felt like forever. But with that came a new vulnerability I hadn’t expected. As my limbs loosened, my first thought was that I’d be too slow to intercept an attacker, I wouldn’t be able to strike back in time.
Relax. You’re not in the Passages, for God’s sake.

The growing fuzziness in my head made shadows creep in the corners of my vision, and when someone knocked into the back of my chair, I spun around, heart hammering, and my gaze fell on Kay. Our eyes met…

I turned back to the table, ducked my head. Tried to ignore the sensation like my chest was caving in, like the walls were too close. People kept bumping into my shoulders. I hunched over, each breath harder than the last.
Calm down!

I muttered something about getting some air and shoved my way past tables to the door, feeling more and more like a vice had clamped around my lungs, like I was in a tight space shrinking smaller by the second. I stumbled against a wall, spots crowding my vision, trapped between one breath and the next.

The walls of the warehouse closed in. Light flashed, red and purple, sparking in the air like fireworks. Alluring. Deadly. Sparking from my own hands.

The thud of a body striking a wall, falling, falling.

Silence. Apart from a soft, quiet, heartbroken sobbing.

“Ada. Breathe.”

Breathe, Ada.
Another day, another world, a fast-moving train, a hand holding mine—

The world was out of focus, slanted the wrong way, but when I stumbled forwards, I didn’t hit the wall, but a person. Hands rested on my shoulders, steadied me, and I leaned in, close enough that I could hear their breathing. I tried to match each breath.

“Ada. It’s okay. Breathe.”

I knew that voice. I sucked in air, sharp and cold, and the world came back into focus.

Holy crap. I wasn’t dreaming.

“Kay?” I tilted my head up, and he moved. His dark eyes were bright under the lamplight. Concerned.

“Ada.” His voice was quiet, so quiet. “You’re all right.” Goosebumps sprang up on my arms.

“The hell are you doing to my sister?” demanded another, louder voice.

Oh. Shit.

I looked up to see Jeth glaring at Kay.

“She’s having a panic attack.”

“Get the hell out the way, then!”

“I’m fine.” I moved, shakily, and Kay drew back, without taking his eyes off me. “It’s true,” I said to Jeth, who glared at Kay.

“Let go of her.”

“Only when I’m sure she’s all right.”

Maybe I was dreaming after all.

“I can take care of her,” snapped Jeth. “I’m her brother.”

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the fog. “Stop it, Jeth. He helped me.” Kay let go of me, fully, as I turned to face my brother. The ground stayed steady. Jeth, however, quickly stepped in.

“I’m
fine.”
I turned back to Kay. The concern in his expression sharpened to annoyance as Jeth pulled on my arm. “Uh. Thanks. Again.” Could this possibly get any more embarrassing?

“No problem. You should go home.” He nodded to Jeth, who still eyed him distrustfully.

I tugged my arm free. “Jeth, I’m fine.”

“Right. Good. Come on, let’s go home.”

I looked back at Kay. “Sorry about that,” I said, swallowing. I wished Jeth wasn’t here. I wished
I
wasn’t here.

“You don’t need to apologise.” He paused. “You stay safe, okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

***

My communicator buzzed as Jeth unlocked the front door. I debated a minute then made for the shed roof again. The cold night air helped. I used to lie up here all the time–God, the lectures I’d got from Nell. But watching the stars just-visible under the city’s light pollution used to be as close as I got to the Multiverse here on Earth. I flicked on my communicator screen to find a message:
“Does it happen a lot?”
It was listed under Kay’s name. He must have a new communicator code, then.

I swallowed. It was pretty obvious what he was talking about. He’d recognised my panic attack right off. I’d half thought he was with that girl who’d been checking him out at the bar. But he’d ditched her to come and help me. And now–what the hell was this?

“I guess. Sometimes.”
I hit reply before I lost my nerve.

This was stupid. I should know how to
breathe,
for Christ’s sake. It was a fairly important part of
staying alive.

“Try the simulators. You’re in control of the environment there.”

Simulators? Walking
into
an enclosed space might not be the best idea right now. But he had a point… it was like exposure therapy. I’d be able to control the scenario. I’d never be able to function as an Alliance guard as long as I lived in fear. I had to get a handle on this.

You’re all right.
Once again, Kay Walker had taken me completely off guard. I couldn’t recall anyone outside my family ever checking up on me before. Even Delta.

The pain sank in like the point of a knife.
He betrayed you.
And if I was being horribly honest, the betrayal hurt more than the fact that I’d killed him. And his family. My skin crawled all over at the idea that they’d been watching me. That they’d kept magic-wielders as
pets.
I could see why Nell kept even her friends at a distance. Did you ever really know someone’s motives? Even magic-wielders couldn’t read minds.

I wouldn’t be that helpless again. Not ever.

I clicked off my communicator. Somehow, I had to believe it would get easier. Like we always told the refugees we helped: however frightening and unfamiliar it might be to adapt after your entire life shifted, it did get easier. After I’d woken from the coma, I’d been terrified even to leave the house. But staying in was as much a trap as the nightmares. And I still knew what I wanted. What I’d always wanted. The Multiverse.

Nothing would take that away, not even fear.

ADA

Decked out in my new guard uniform, I discovered it was possible to feel both badass
and
scared shitless. Carl, the patrol leader I recognised from when I was captured by the claw mark-like scar on his face, gave our small group what I assumed was a routine safety lecture. Another patroller, a big guy with buzzed-short blond hair and a pierced ear, kept giving me filthy looks for some reason. I ignored him and paid attention to the instructions on how we were to
never
use our weapons to harm another person–he seemed to be directing this at Blond Dude.

As the guy shifted, I recognised the scowl on his face. He was the bastard who’d tried to choke me when I’d been arrested, when Kay had stopped him. Aric.

That explained the glaring. I gave him one of my own.

“Use the knives only in an emergency. The stunners will incapacitate any attacker, armoured or not. They contain only three shots, however, and work only when applied directly. If you fire it into the air, there’s a chance it will rebound on you. We don’t want any more accidents, do we, Aric?”

Aric’s expression said,
Screw you,
but he just nodded.

I wasn’t overly comfortable with the stunner, but I accepted it without hesitation. It looked like a flat remote control, with a switch on the back, and the tingle of whatever magic they’d put inside it brushed against my fingers. I quickly pocketed it, hoping I’d not have to use it. Or the knife, for that matter, which was made of reinforced adamantine and could cut through virtually any armour. Kay had sliced the claws off a wyvern with one.

I tried not to think about how the flat, sharp-edged blade was made of the same material the Royals had implanted inside me. Though the knife weighed virtually nothing, its presence pressed against my arm in the sheath, ready to slide into my hand. I’d fought more monsters than I could count with my own daggers bought from Nell’s offworld traders, but I’d never replaced the daggers I’d lost in the attack, and hadn’t even touched a weapon since, except in virtual reality. For the first time in my life, the idea of a real-life fight didn’t appeal at all.

Stop it.
Fighting was second nature to me. I’d been raised by a woman whose response to the postman knocking the door was to get the poor man in a headlock. Instinct didn’t disappear overnight, whatever happened. I just needed to calm down, get on with the job. Keep an eye out for trouble. Do what I had to. If anyone thought my mental health was in question, I’d be struck off the rota. That couldn’t happen. It was just a routine. No reason to assume anything would happen.

But it wasn’t Cethraxian monsters I was afraid of. Nell had called
me
a monster.

Soon as we left the building, however, Carl told us to hold back. Three other guards approached, talking urgently amongst themselves, and Carl went to join them. Before I could follow, Aric moved to block my path.

“I can’t believe you had the nerve to show your face here,” he said. “You nearly destroyed the place.”

“Want to see what else I can do?” I folded my arms with my hand resting over my dagger. Judging by the way Carl had spoken to him, he was clearly on shaky ground already.

“Keep your empty threats to yourself, magic-wielder,” he said. “You’re almost as bad as Walker. Trouble-making arrogant bastard.”