My Once and Future Love (33 page)

“We all know that ship has long since sailed.
Do we have a deal?”

I sighed. “Fine…I’ll lend a hand for a few
days, but you have to be nice or I’m bailing.”

“Okay.”

“And I get a bonus.”

He smiled. “Done.”

“Let’s go see what’s available online…” How
did he always talk me into things? Was I that much of a sucker?

I got us a flight for tonight while he called
his mother to say there was a delay. Then I canceled my flight from
LAX to Virginia and booked one from Heathrow for the twenty-third.
Four days with Jacob in the city I lost my virginity…

I had to be out of my friggin’ mind.

****

We landed in London around three in the
afternoon after flying first class. His mother’s driver was waiting
for us, and since it was raining Jacob had the hood of his jacket
up and we got out unrecognized.

“Hope it doesn’t rain the whole time,” I
muttered.

“Never know, pet. What’s the itinerary?”

I pulled a folder out of my tote bag.
“Here.”

He scanned the printed e-mails from Lynn.
“Ah. We have a few hours before my first interview.”

“Enough time to settle in, catch up with your
mother, and have a meal. Is he going to drive you all week?” I
nodded to the chauffeur.

“Yep.”

“Then give him that print-out of your
appointments.”

“You’re not comin’ with me to anything, are
you?”

I shook my head. “My job is to have you out
the door on time. The interviews are all you.”

“Well, I did drag you here on your
vacation--”

“Exactly.”

The ride took longer than the last time I was
here due to the rain and the season. Nice seeing the town decorated
for the holidays, though. My stomach tensed when we pulled up to
the manor. This reunion could be really awkward.

The chauffeur held a large umbrella over our
heads. A butler answered the door. I let Jacob enter first. Mrs.
Lindsey waited at the base of the stairs, no less beautiful than
six years ago. Jacob handed his coat to a maid, then embraced his
mother.

“Happy Christmas, Mum.”

“It’s good to have you home, dear. Hello,
Elizabeth.”

“Hi, Mrs. Lindsey. Sorry about the short
notice, but he insisted he needs my assistance this week.”

“Jacob, shame on you for pulling her away
from her family.”

“She’s still leaving on the twenty-third,
Mum. It’s only a few days here instead of California.”

“Well, let’s get your belongings stowed in
your rooms. You’re just in time for tea.” She shooed us upstairs
while the servants retrieved our luggage from the car.

Aside from a couple different paintings on
the walls, the house looked the same. I hoped she didn’t put me in
the same room. Too many memories.

“Jacob, your usual room is prepared. You have
the room next door, Elizabeth.” She opened a door at the end of the
hall.

The room was decorated in a simpler style
than the florals that adorned my previous lodging. While still a
queen size, the bed was covered with a plain white eyelet duvet
that matched the curtains. She opened the door to the bathroom,
revealing it adjoined with the room next door. Little accents of
pale blue and yellow added life to the space.

“It’s fine. Thank you. I, um…”

“Elizabeth, you don’t need to apologize. I
heard about your mother.”

“Oh.”

Vivian touched my shoulder. “I don’t know
what exactly happened between you and my son and I’m not going to
pry. Thank you for passing on messages the last year. While I was
surprised to hear he hired you, I certainly could think of worse
assistants to work with him. You do look thinner than before,
though.”

“It’s hard to find time for a decent meal.
But I’m okay.”

“Are you?”

I nodded. “All grown up.” Not talking about
the past, nope…that was a scab I wasn’t scratching.

She smiled and took a step to the door.
“Well, hang up your coat and such and join us downstairs.”

Alone, I exhaled and arranged my stuff to
dry. Being in this house was surreal. I never thought I’d see it
again, let alone step past its threshold. Still didn’t know why I
agreed to come.

A proper tea was set up in the parlor. Jacob
and his mother were already catching up on the sofa. I picked the
armchair and served myself, not wanting to interrupt them. We
hadn’t spent time in this room before, so I took the time to
observe the details while I ate. With my mind wandering, I missed
the first time I was addressed.

“Elizabeth…”

“What? I’m sorry.”

She smiled indulgently. “Jacob was saying the
tour will be here in a couple months. I was wondering if you knew
the date.”

“Oh. Not off the top of my head. It’s in my
planner.”

“No bother. You can look it up later. So, is
this a social visit, or does my son have to work?”

“Mum, it’s only a few interviews. There’ll be
plenty of time to deck the halls and trim the tree.”

She sighed. “I worry you’re going to burn
yourself out, Jacob. It’s the prerogative of a mother. The things
they print about you…”

He sat up straighter. “Exaggerations and tall
tales, Mum, you know how they are.”

“Photos are open to interpretation, son, but
they don’t lie.” She shook her head. “But I don’t want to argue
with you. Please, eat before your appointment. Excuse me.” She
stood and left the room.

I set my plate down and followed her.

“You okay?”

She sighed, and closed the door to the music
room. “It hasn’t been easy since Jacob moved to Los Angeles. At
first, I just missed him, but now…I’m grateful for the information
you send me, Elizabeth, but it worries me. Is he really so
different?”

Seeing the fear for her son in her eyes hurt.
“Sometimes. It started after the Grammy’s. He suddenly had all this
attention and he hasn’t reacted well. It was better during the
fall, though.” I sighed. “Jacob’s just as brilliant on stage as
ever, but he likes to have a good time, and there are a lot of
people around him now that encourage that. Maybe he’ll grow out of
it, I don’t know.”

She nodded, her face lacking any surprise at
my words. “Thank you for your honesty. We should return. It’s
supposed to be a happy time.” She put on a smile, held her head
high, and left the room.

I hoped I’d one day gain such poise.

Jacob stood when we entered. “I should be
going. Traffic will be a bitch.”

“Did you get enough to eat?” I asked.

“I’m fine. See you ladies later.” He kissed
his mother’s cheek on the way out.

I sat down and sighed. Well, at least it
wasn’t another episode of drama.

Vivian and I had a quiet dinner, then she
retired for the evening. The rain stopped, so I slipped my coat on
and took a walk in the garden. Found my way to Jacob’s old hideout
without intending to get there. The door was unlocked.

The air smelled musty. I turned on a
battery-powered lantern. A layer of dust coated everything.
When
was the last time he was here
?

In the light of the lantern, I spotted some
balled-up pieces of paper on the old desk. Opening one of them
revealed lines of lyrics, many of them with black ink struck
through them. More balls of paper revealed similar sights, hasty
scribbles of passionate words.

“They’re all about you.”

I dropped the lantern, a gasp of surprise
escaping my throat. Jacob stood in the doorway.

“I wasn’t trying to--”

“Doesn’t matter.”

I picked up the lantern and set it on the
desk. “When did you get back?”

“Few minutes ago. The house was quiet and you
weren’t in your room.”

“Took a walk. The door was unlocked.”

“I know.” He shut the door, blocking out the
cold breeze. “Haven’t been in here since I moved to the
States.”

“It shows. The dust.”

He nodded. He was unusually calm and it put
me on edge. “Remember when I showed you this place?”

“I do.” I remembered everything, much as it
hurt.

“Life was simpler back then. I miss seeing
you smile.” He came closer, having made his circuit around the
room.

“I still smile.” I’m sure I did.

“Not real ones. Not like before.”

“That was years ago. Things change.” I could
feel the heat he radiated now; see his breath in the light.

He stroked my hair behind my left ear. “Not
everything.” And kissed me.

For a brief, glorious moment, we weren’t
Beth
and
Jacob
, but two souls fitting our puzzle
pieces back together. He still kissed the same, pressing me close
and teasing my tongue with his. I wanted the oblivion of bliss, but
memories wouldn’t let me.

Memories of betrayal and pain.

I pushed him away. “No. I can’t do this.”

“Why not? I can feel you want it.”

“Is this why you dragged me here? To get your
rocks off?” I pushed past him and threw open the door.

He grabbed my arm. “We’re both single, Beth,
and it’s not like we haven’t done it all before. What’s wrong with
indulging in a bit of nostalgia at Christmas?”

“I
don’t trust you
, that’s what’s
wrong. God, you selfish, manipulative bastard.”

“Like you’ve been innocent? Reporting my
private life to my mother breaks
my
trust.”

“She comes to me because you never remember
to call her back. Shall we count the times you’ve told me to
‘handle it’ when the phone rings? Let. Go. Of. Me.”

He released my arm. “You’re beautiful when
you’re angry.”

“
Don’t
.”

His hand slid inside my coat, caressing my
hip. “How long has it been since you’ve been touched, Bethie?”

I stumbled back, fleeing his advance. “Are
you
drunk
?”

“Little bit.”

The cold air subdued my anger and an idea
formed in my head for a little lesson.

“Let’s go back to the house,” I said in my
most seductive voice.

His eyes widened at the sudden turn in my
mood, but when I took his hand, he happily followed me.

When we got to the base of the stairs, I let
him pull me into another kiss, then asked, “Do you have a pair of
handcuffs?”

He pouted. “No…”

“That’s okay. A tie or scarf will do.”

He smiled, took my hand, and ran upstairs. We
entered his room.

“On the bed,” I ordered. Knowing where his
ties would be in the closet, I selected a blue one. It was my
favorite color.

Jacob had already shed his coat and sweater
and lay on the bed. He tried for a sexy look, but buzzed as he was,
he couldn’t quite pull it off. Holding back a laugh, I crawled up
his body, straddled his waist, and moved his hands to the
headboard.

“Stay like this.” Knowing how to kiss him to
distraction, I did just that and secured his wrists to the metal
rungs. Once the knot was snug, I sat up, then climbed off him.

From the eager look on his face, he thought I
was going to undress him the rest of the way or maybe strip. I
walked to the door for the adjoining bathroom.

“Where are you going?”

“Goodnight, Jacob,” I sweetly said.

“Oh, ha, ha. Come on, Beth. Get back over
here and have some fun.”

“I’m thinking…no.”

His expression changed and I saw the second
he realized I wasn’t playing. “You can’t leave me like this.”

“I can. Sleep it off, Jacob, and don’t ever
kiss me again. See you in the morning!”

“
Beth!
”

I waited to laugh until I was in my bedroom.
He wouldn’t be putting moves on me again.

From the squeak of bed springs in his room,
he was trying to get out of his predicament, but I was a Girl
Scout—that knot wouldn’t be coming loose until I wanted it to.
Surprisingly, it took at least ten minutes before he yelled for me
again.

“Shut up, Jacob! You’ll wake your
mother!”

“It’s your bloody fault!”

I opened the bathroom door to his room.
“Fine, I’ll tell her about tonight and see who she sides with.”

“Her
son
, of course.”

“Sure about that? You made unwanted advances
and I put you in your place. Plus, you’re drunk. I like my
chances.”

Some of his indignation died away. “I can’t
sleep like this.”

“And?”

“Let me loose.”

A snort passed through my nose. “Yeah, right.
You’ll retaliate.”

“I could fire you now. Thinkin’ about it,
anyway.”

“Off duty, Jacob. Besides, you’ve been an ass
and this is a harmless prank. You have no work tomorrow.
Goodnight…”

“Beth, please!”

I kept walking back into my room. There were
limits to what I’d put up with in this job and he had to learn
that.

****

The tension in the house could be cut with a
knife. Jacob and I were avoiding each other except for work, it was
awkward between him and his mother, and I had no clue what to say
to her. I hoped they could have a good Christmas without me
there.

The twenty-third didn’t come soon enough. The
pressure in my chest didn’t release until I was on the plane to
Virginia.

Andrew hugged me in Baggage Claim. “Hey, kid.
You look tired.”

“Long year.”

“Are you hungry?”

I shook my head. “I just want some
sleep.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”

He didn’t press. I liked that about the
average male—unless you asked for help, they assumed you had it
handled. No nagging for details I didn’t want to give.

The small town coziness was really appealing
to me right now. Visiting here was the only sense of home I’d had
in years, since Mom died. It was the type of quiet life I
originally envisioned for myself and I envied him for claiming
that. Maybe I’d resign after the tour and settle here.

Worse ideas out there in the universe.

Darcy greeted me with a warm hug. “Come in!
I’ve got cocoa. How was your flight?”