My Old True Love (23 page)

Davina said his mommie had been run from the woodpile by a panther when she was three months along with him. When he was born she went over him with a fine-toothed comb looking for any sign that he had been marked. She found nothing until his eyes started to change. I know just what she meant by that. I swear that man’s eyes was the same exact tannish color as one of them big cats, and they give me a bad case of the all-overs when they settled on me that day.

But eyes or no eyes, I meant to find him. And find him I did. I set up for him to meet Hackley and Larkin there at my house the day of
Larkin’s birthday. They was no sense in putting it off no longer and, to be honest with you, I was just about sick of them two boys. They needed to go on.

I
WAS NOT AS
certain of this when we were all ganged up there at the house the day they left. Mary looked pitiful standing there with her little belly just beginning to show. The night before, we had carried most of her stuff to my house, and she was going to stay with us until this damn war sorted itself and Hackley come home. That was hard on her, I know but they was really nothing else she could do except to go back to Lucindy’s. As I told her when I offered at least she would be with Pearl. That seemed to bring her along as much as anything else. Hackley just loved on me and thanked me. Bless his heart. I reckon it was as Mary said, all their married life had been was one parting after another. And I allowed as how this must be some fine war that you could fight on one side for a while and get tired of that, and go to fighting on the other side. I must admit to harboring very bitter feelings. I had not seen my man in over two years; he had never seen Pearl, and she was a big girl already. Little did I know that it would be two more years before I would see his dear face. And that would prove the longest four years that would ever roll over my head.

Larkin was staring and staring at Mary and I wanted to cap my apron over my head so I would not see it. Or mayhap over his, so nobody else would see it. Finally I could not stand it no more so I went and put my arms around him, and the minute I did that he was my baby again. Some things is meant to always be, and that is one of them. I started to cry and then all my young’uns started to howl and Mary was sobbing, and we just had us a regular call to the altar right there in front of my house. I swear, sometimes I get so tired of being
from a family what cannot control their feelings. At times I wish we could be more like them folks what never acts raw and what keeps their feelings all iced up. But that is like wishing to have the moon on your porch, which is not possible, so there we was running about like the crazy bunch that we was.

Finally Hackley had had enough and he hollered out, “For the love of God, hush up,” and we did, but the reason we did was because we was all wore out by now. “We’ve got to go,” he said, and he looked right at me. Well, that let me know who he was leaving to see to things, as if they was ever any doubt. I went to Mary then and stood right beside her while Hackley kissed her one last time. So I had to stand there and watch Larkin wanting to kiss her, too, and thinking he might just be bold enough to do it. Well, thank God for Carolina, is all I can say. She picked that minute to throw herself right at Larkin’s head. I’ve never in my life seen such a thing and by the time I got her off him we was all laughing, and she was acting like they was in some play or something throwing her arm up against her head and allowing how she felt faint. What a card that young’un could be.

So what could have been a bad and trying thing turned out to be just a look between them. But, oh, what a look it was. They was more said in that little space of silence than if they’d mouthed a thousand words.

But when he turned that horse he did not look back.

I
AM A KEEPER OF
all manner of tales. I sometimes get tales all mixed up in my head, and they is things that I cannot for the life of me separate out and determine if they are my memories or things that have been told to me. I reckon that is a part of getting to be old. But the one thing that I did and am proud that I did it is I kept letters that folks sent to me during the wartime. And lo and behold, when Larkin come back, he come wagging home with him every letter him and Hackley got as well. So here is some of that what was sent and what I wrote myself. They are yours for the reading, and all I can say is that here is Arty laid out for all the world to view.

October 19, 1863

Dear Larkin,

It is with pleasur I am permitted this good sabbath evening to drop you a few lines to let you know that I got your last two letters on the same day which was yesterday and am pleased to hear that you are dooing well and that the army lif is not treating you vary badly. Tell my brother that I am sending him a howdey too and that he needs to rite his wif. She looks in vain
for a letter every day. Tell him it would ease her mind if that means anything to him which it mite but I do not no that for sure. She is getting big now and is glad that the heat has laid oer for the cool of fall. And the colors are coming on now as I no they are there as well. You said you was in east Tennessee up around Kingsport. That seems a long way off. Does it look much like around here? When you rite me back let me know as I am curius as always about such things.

You will never guess who I seed yesterdy. I spent some time with Silas McMahan. You will not believe me when I tell you that he has been walking out with Maggie or mayhap you would believe it too for you no her as good as I do. She allows that she might even be for lovin him which is hard for me to believe.

Listen was you with Mr. Kirk when he was down to Warm Springs? We hearn he was down that way and camped out on the yard at the hotel with 800 or mor men. They said that was a sight to see. It was in the newspaper too how they was a fight with a bunch of Rebels and that Nick Woodfins brother was killed. I find it an amazement that we have took to calling one side Yanks and the other Rebels. This is as good as any I would reckon excep I might say Windbags and Bellows. I have heard from Zeke and he says they are coming down to Tennessee and that he will try to look you up and maybe even come home for a day. Oh to be able to see him again would be like a soothing salve to my sore eyes. And he longs to eyeball the younguns. Ever letter I git expresses that longing and it braks my heart every time.

Vergie has left this part of the world. She has scooted down
to Hendersonville where Wades people is all frum. She has took all her young’uns and left everything for Maggie to have. I reckon that makes Miss Maggie a woman of some means and what would be called a good catch. This war has changed the face of us all has it not?

You are a sweet thing indeed to ask me about the younguns. They are all dooing well and growing like you would not believe. Pearl is talking up a storm now and sometimes I catch myself wishing this was not so. She wants to know about everthing and I do not no about some of which she asks me. I have no idee why it is that the sky is blue and so on. She gets mad when I can not answer her. Me and Mary just can not help but laf at her. Mayhap she is just like her Mommie. Carolina is getting to be a great big girl and is pretty as a picture. She says to tell you a big howdee. Mary is five months gone now and with her small frame she looks like she might have swallered a big punkin. I told her what you said and she said to tell you that you was full of squash and beans. You are rite to say she is a funny thing. She is every bit of that.

I would be vary glad to see you too honey. May it not be long before this is so. Keep yur hind end close to the ground Larkin.

Your loving Amma

October 27, 1863

Dear Amma,

I received your kind letter that was wrot me on the 19 October. You are good to writ me to tell me that all is well with you all. Things are just the same hear as they was befor. I hav
just returnd frum a frolik where Hackley played with some musiciners frum up in Kantucky. Them boys nos their way around a fiddle almost as good as Hackley and for the furst time our Hack is struglin to keep all atention on hisself. Not realy as all he has to do is comence to singing and they all step back. They was no women folk at this frolik and some of us made out as girls. It was a big time and I do not no that I hav had such a big time since I left home. You would hav busted a gut laughin no doubt and might yet when you think of me as a vary big and vary ugle girl.

They jus come by and tol our regmant to cook 3 days rashings and be redy to march of at a minets warning. I no this mite cause worry to you and Mary but it is not so with us. It is the setin around that gits our goat.

Amma I must come to a clos. I will rite you more at a later day. Kiss the young’uns for me and give Mary a howdee. I tol her man he shud writ to her but have seed no sines of him dooing it yit.

Love to you Amma

Larkin

It looks the same here in one way but is diferent as well. The water is no count. I kep my tail always on the ground.

November the 22, 1863

Dear Larkin,

I am sendin this pair of britches that I made for you. I do not no if they will fit you in the lenth but I made them long and you can cut them off to wher they will fit beter. Do as you will with them. Tell Hackley that he has never seed no happyer somebody
than his little wif when she got his leter last week and bles her hart she has gon into a fit of riting him back.

I am riting this in a hury as I want to send it back by Roderick as he is comin your way. I am sendin some cake as well and hope you injoy it.

Thank you for the money. Me and Mary put what you sent and what Hackley sent and bout some chickins. It was more money than ether one of us had ever seed. We fed that pore creature what fetched it to us. To see him pored the worrys over me and her both. He was sick unto death Larkin. Rite and tell me that neither you nor my brother suffers sech a way. Tell Hackley to rite Mary and ease her mind.

I love you my bigest boy. The young’uns are dooing fine as are we all. Zeke said to tell you he was back north and would not see you. He did not git home neither and I was not a bit happy with that. Keep yur hind end low to the ground.

Amma

December 28, 1863

Dear Amma,

It is with pleasure that I find the opportunity to rite a few lines to let you know I did get the cake you sent to me and tho it were mushed up it were like nectar from heaven. Thank you for figerin out a way to git it to me. I was one hapy big old boy. I sliped off to eat it and wood not even let Hackley have a bit and he cussed a black streak at me but I did not care and told him as much. I am sendin you mor money and want you to use it however is best for you and the younguns. If Mary needs it give sum to her and do not fret that I do not have what I need.

They take good care of us hear and I just got me a fine big coat. Colonel Kirk has picked me to be one of his hawkeyes which is just a sharp shooter but they hav to name everthing hear so hawkeye is what I am. They hav give me a vary fine rifle and I am larning the use of it real quik.

We hav been in a few fights but none that was vary bad. One thing I can say about Colonel Kirk is that he is vary good at fighting and his men all thinks that the sun rises and sets on his head. Another thing I can say is he is one to always think of his men and that is why he is so well thot of I am sure.

Tell Mary that her man is not a easy one to liv with. He will not keep his side of the tent neat and tidy. He needs her hear to look about him. I could stand a peek at her face as well.

It was a blesed shame to hear that Roderick has been kilt. He was a good person and I will never forget how he fetched me that cake. It is soon to be a new year Amma. Let us hop this hear war will not carry over much into the year of ’64.

I remain one that loves you

Larkin

January the 18, 1864

Dearest Larkin,

It is with a hevy hart that I put down these words to you. They is no way to say them that will ease the telling so I will just say it. Fee was kilt by soljers yesterdy. I know how you felt him to be your frend and I wisht I cud say hit were a quik death fer him but we know hit were not. As I told you when last I rote to you he was keerin for the horses for Lawrence Allen dam him fer his black hart over in Warm Springs. You know how good
he alus was with critters. He had come home fer a few days and when he was goin back he was set on by some Yanke soljers and they kilt him. Know that I lov you and I pray for you ever day and nite.

Your lovin Amma

It was the deepest part of the winter and John Wesley had gone out hunting and bagged a big mess of squirrels. Julie had come by and was going to stay the night with us and while the stew was cooking me, her, and Mary was setting around the table talking. I knowed Mary was in a state of pure-D misery. Her ankles and fingers was all swollen and the baby had dropped over a week ago. I had tried to offer her a little hope that it would not be much longer and knew this to be so. I had been that way myself many times and knowed just how she felt.

I fed my crowd and Mary just picked at her plate and said she was not hungry. Abigail and Julie was washing the dishes when I heard what sounded like somebody sneaking about on the porch. I reached for the cap-and-ball pistol Zeke had given me and turned toward the door just as the latch went to easing up. You can just imagine my surprise when the smoke cleared and there stood my brother looking back at me.

“Damn, sister girly. You come near to blowing my brains out.”

Mary was off that bench like she’d been what was shot out of that gun.

And then Larkin come through that door and it was a race between me, Julie, and Carolina to see who could get to him first.

They was followed by a little slight man that at first I did not recognize. And then Julie hollered out “Daddy!” and my mouth hung open like a gate.

It was indeed Andrew Chandler. Now, I could not help myself, so I had to say it. “How come you all decked out in Union duds, Andrew? I thought you was took prisoner over at Strawberry Plains.”