She had a smile in place as she reached her father.
“Yes, Papa?”
“Our host was looking for you.”
He stepped aside so she could see
Randolph
beside him.
“Forgive me,”
Randolph
gushed, “for neglecting you for so long.
A host’s duties are unending.”
“I understand that.”
“Will you stand up with me, Linnea?”
She hesitated.
She did not want to hurt him or her father who had thought he had chosen wisely in allowing
Randolph
to court her.
Looking from
Randolph
’s expectant face to Papa’s smile, she nodded.
She could not hurt both of them when they had done nothing wrong.
She
was the one who had done something wrong...by falling in love with a man who should not be here now.
While she had resisted
Randolph
’s attempts to give her a chaste kiss, she had shared delicious love with Nils.
She should not have listened to her heart, for it had betrayed her before she could betray Papa and Randolph.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“I would enjoy dancing with you, Randolph.”
She let him take her hand.
A part of her wished that her heart would leap with excitement as it did when Nils touched her.
How much simpler all of this would be if she could come to love
Randolph
as she did Nils!
But her heart continued its steady rhythm, as indifferent to
Randolph
as always.
Randolph
’s fingers tightened around hers as they walked away from her father.
When she tried to tug her hand away, he growled, “Have you no shame, Linnea?
I will not get into a tugging match here in the middle of the ballroom floor.”
“Then loosen your grip.
That hurts.”
“Oh.”
He did as she asked.
“I thought...That is...”
“
Randolph
,” she said with sudden sympathy, “mayhap we should talk instead of dancing.
There are some things we need to discuss.”
“I would prefer to dance.”
Linnea kept her sigh silent.
She might have been changed in recent weeks, but
Randolph
had not.
She doubted if he ever would.
And why should he?
This was the life he had chosen for himself—the quiet, quite respectable life of country aristocracy.
As the music played, she matched her steps to his as she waited for him to say something.
Even if they had been strangers, it was his responsibility as a gentleman to make conversation with her while they danced.
She was amazed that he had asked her to waltz.
If he did not want to talk with her, why had he chosen this time to dance with her?
Her heart sank further when she saw Nils sitting next to Minnie.
She wanted to be in
his
arms, twirling to this beautiful music.
She closed her eyes as she imagined moving with him to the serene song that became a crescendo when they were joined together as one in the need that overwhelmed them.
Swallowing her moan of yearning, she tried to smile at
Randolph
.
He frowned at her and did not speak during what seemed to be the interminable length of the dance.
Only when it was over did he ask her if she would like something cool to drink.
She nodded, and he led her to a table where a wine fountain offered the choice of a dark red wine and a pale one.
Taking a glass of one—she paid no attention to which—she sipped.
“The air is close in here,”
Randolph
said abruptly.
Linnea glanced about the room.
“There are so many candles.
They make a room seem more close than it is.”
“Then let us get some air.”
“
Randolph
, I do not think we should.
After all—”
He yanked on her arm, nearly pulling her off her feet.
By the time she had recovered, they were outside on a low terrace that was shadowed on both sides by huge trees.
“I shall not be treated so rudely,” she said as she tried to twist her arm out of his grip.
“You?
You are the one who is treating me rudely!”
“Me?
I have done nothing.”
Randolph
took a sip of his wine, then tossed it and the glass toward one of the trees.
As the glass splintered, he herded her toward him.
“That is right, Linnea.
You have done nothing.”
“So why are you in a pelter?”
“Because you are going to be my betrothed!
It would seem that you should show me a modicum of affection on the night we are to announce our betrothal.”
She shook her head.
“I am not going to announce my betrothal to you tonight.”
“I have been patient with you, Linnea.
I have courted you and paid you compliments, and I tire of waiting for you to make up your mind.”
“
Randolph
, I have made up my mind.
You simply will not heed me when I tell you that.”
“You are a foolish child, pampered by your parents and your older sisters and brothers.
It is time that you understood what a man expects from a woman.”
“But I do not love you,” she said, trying to turn her face away as he bent to kiss her.
“Love?
Love is not important in a reasonable marriage.
Marriage is for other things than love.”
“What other things?”
He gave her a haughty smile.
“Do not worry yourself with that, Linnea.
If you want love, I would be glad to show you how I will make love with you.”
She opened her mouth to scream, but a laugh from the shadows intruded.
Tugging against
Randolph
’s arms around her, she broke free.
She stared at Nils who was leaning against the thick trunk of the tree at the other end of the terrace.
“What are you doing out here?” demanded
Randolph
.
“It is possible,” Nils replied, walking casually toward them, “that I came out here to raise a cloud.”
Randolph
sneered.
“You turned green last time you smoked a cigar.”
“That is why I said it was only possible.”
He took Linnea’s hand in her lacy glove and bowed over it.
“It is also possible that I have the next dance with Linnea.”
“As possible as you smoking a cigar out here?”
“Quite correct, Tuthill.
These dances are not of my taste.
I admit that I have become so lost in my studies that I am not as familiar with the dances that are
au courant
.”
He grinned at Linnea as he used the French cant that so often baffled him.
Her urge to smile back vanished when
Randolph
asked in a heated tone, “Maybe you should request that the orchestra play some ancient song.
Or didn’t the Vikings dance?”
Nils laughed, and, by the doorway, heads turned.
Several people peered outside, curious about what was so funny.
“The Vikings, as you persist in calling them, enjoyed many entertainments.”
“Raping and burning and looting.”
“
Randolph
!” Linnea gasped.
He grasped her hands.
“My dear, forgive my coarse speech.
Such words are not for your delicate ears.”
“‘Tis not your words that I find objectionable, but your constant unkind comments to Niles.
He is my father’s guest, and you treat him with endless insults.”
Randolph
’s mouth worked, but no words emerged.
“I do not take insult,” Nils replied, although his narrowed eyes suggested otherwise.
“One cannot take insult when another speaks out of ignorance.”
He held out his arm.
“Allow me to take you back inside, Linnea.
I feel in the mood for a dance lesson.”
Linnea put her hand on his arm, grateful for the chance to escape, but even more grateful for the excuse to touch him.
Her fingers stroked his arm, and she was powerless to halt them.
When he smiled, she was sure she could never be happier than when she was with him like this.
“I am sorry,” Nils said.
“Sorry?”
“For the state of your toes when I step on them over and over.”
At his words, she glanced back at the door where
Randolph
stood, watching them, rage twisting his face.
“I do not think I want to dance now.”
“If I was wrong in intruding on you and Tuthill—”
“No, Nils, you were not.
I need to be alone with my thoughts.
Your voice and
Randolph
’s and Papa’s and Martin’s and Minnie’s fill my head, and I cannot hear my own thoughts.”
Putting her other hand on his arm, she fought not to splay her fingers across his chest as he slipped his brawny arms around her.
“Give me the time to think.”
“It cannot be for long.”
“I know.”
She walked out of the room before he could ask another question.
When she looked back, he was not following.
She should be pleased that he respected her request, but she was not.
She did not understand her own desires any longer.
At the very moment they urged her to be reckless and give in to her need to be held by him while she could, she knew that anything less than forever with him would not be enough.