Authors: Lindsay McKenna
Sleepily, she nodded. "Sure. Thanks…"
Jim smiled. "See you later, Tiger." As he left sick bay, he wondered if Pepper had slept off the worst of the mission. He'd gotten some solid sleep, but his worry over Laura's condition had forced him up after six hours.
Going down to the galley, he was surprised to spot Pepper there. She was sitting alone at one of the bolted-down tables, a tray before her with a little food on it. She didn't see him. She seemed immersed in looking down at the coffee cup she held between her thin hands. Jim's heart thumped hard to underscore the vibrant feelings she brought out in him. Her hair was combed, softly framing her face. Color was back in her cheeks, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He went through the chow line, loading his tray with food.
"How are you?"
Pepper's head snapped up. Jim's voice was low, intimate. Her eyes widened as she saw him sit down opposite her. His smile was warm, and his eyes burned with that same caring light.
"Jim…"
"Didn't expect to see me?" he teased, cutting up a pork chop.
"Well—I…"
"How are you feeling?" He saw Pepper's cheeks flush red. She couldn't quite hold his gaze, and he wondered why. Her hands fluttered nervously over the coffee cup.
"Like something the cat dragged in," she muttered under her breath.
He pointed toward her tray with his knife. "Have you eaten anything?"
"No…not much."
Between bites of food, he asked, "
is
this the way you are after coming off a forest fire?"
Touched by his insight, Pepper dabbled with her meat disinterestedly. She should eat, she knew, but her stomach was tied in a terrible knot of grief. Jim looked unscathed by the mission. His hair was clean and combed, his face freshly shaven. His eyes glinted with their usual intelligence.
"Oh…I'm usually worthless for about two days when we come in from a fire," she admitted finally.
"I never realized the demands on you," he murmured. Why was Pepper so nervous? Her fingers trembled when she picked up her spoon and ate a bit of the canned peaches on her tray. Growing serious, he said in a low tone, "You're an incredible woman. I want you to know that, Pepper." They had shared so much in such a short amount of time. Those kisses that had nearly led him into making love to her still burned brightly in his memory, and his body responded to the thought. Now that he'd freed himself of confusion about his feelings for Laura, his uncertainty about Pepper had cleared up.
A desperation
to let her know how much she meant to him made him hope for an opportunity to talk with her honestly about so many things.
Pepper shrugged, not daring to meet his eyes. His voice, low and gritty, shone through her like blazing sunlight. "We both pulled our share of the load." She glanced up. "How's your arm?"
"Fine.
Once Dr. Parsons got Laura stabilized, she checked it out and gave your work her seal of approval."
"How is Laura?" Pepper picked up her coffee, sipping it, and met his eyes for the first time.
"She's going to make it, thank God." Jim frowned. "The only problem is she doesn't remember anything about the kidnapping.
Nothing."
With a shake of his head, he muttered, "Noah's down there with her now. I think he'll probably break the news to her about Morgan and Jason."
"At least she's going to live. That's everything. I don't know Noah that well, but he seems so gentle. He's probably the right person to break it to her." Sighing, Pepper looked around the room. It was beginning to fill up with off-duty crew. The noise level rose, the laughter in direct opposition to how she felt.
"No disagreement there." Jim saw the shadows in Pepper's eyes but wrote them off as being due to the mission. "You still haven't said how you are."
With a shrug, she took a bite of the chicken on her tray. "Okay."
"I'm discovering that you tend to use that word as a cover-up."
Pepper stared at him. His voice was low with concern. When she looked into his eyes, she was instantly wrapped in that incredible warmth he exuded. Her heart squeezed with such pain that she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. Instantly, she forced them back.
"Well?" Jim prodded.
"I'm just a little sore, that's all," she hedged, her voice huskier than usual.
"And tired.
I'll be glad to get home."
Jim scowled.
"Home meaning
Montana
?"
He wanted time with her,
dammit
.
"Yes. It's snowing there now. It's a beautiful time of year up in the mountains."
"I see…."
"I imagine Laura's going to need a lot of emotional support and help from friends and family to get through all of this," Pepper said. "I'm glad she has you."
"Yes, she's going to need help."
Dammit
! Jim dawdled over his dessert of baked apple with vanilla sauce. So much had happened that he hadn't thought much beyond Laura's unexpected health problem. Pepper was right; she would need friends and family now more than ever, and he had every intention of being there in that capacity for her. Worse, Pepper would be leaving.
"What are your plans for returning to
Montana
?" he demanded.
Pepper heard the slight edge of anger in Jim's voice. Why? "When we get to D.C., Marie will put me on the next plane out."
With her simple words, Jim lost his considerable appetite. The last thing he wanted was for Pepper to leave, but even if she stayed, he'd be too busy to spend much time with her, between his job at the Pentagon and remaining in Laura's life until her husband and son were found.
If
they could be found, he reminded himself grimly. There was no telling what Laura's freedom would mean to Morgan's situation. The drug lords could kill him outright. There were so many unknowns.
And no answers.
Looking up, he met and held Pepper's luminous gaze. She looked as if she were going to cry. Frustration ate at him. Those tears again. And again, this wasn't the time or place to ask about them. Damn. "So what does a smoke jumper do during winter? There can't be many fires."
"As a Hotshot team, we're always on standby. Sometimes we get calls from the Southwest—
California
and
Arizona
in particular—and we go fight a fire for them." Pepper set her tray aside and grabbed the heavy white mug that contained the last of her coffee.
"What else do you do?"
"We repair our equipment, I put my team through training seminars and, in general, we rest up. There's a lot to do in other ways, believe me. We aren't sitting in
Montana
twiddling our thumbs."
He grinned a little. "I know you ski."
"Yes, mostly cross-country, anymore." She stopped for a long moment, recalling that it had been a good two years after John's death before she'd put on a pair of downhill skis.
Sliding his own tray aside, Jim sipped at his coffee, deep in thought. "Do you realize we missed Thanksgiving?"
"I know…it's one of my favorite holidays."
"Oh?"
"Yes." She gazed down at her cup. "I always go home for it—to Anaconda."
"Family means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
Pepper lifted her head. "Sure. Doesn't it to everyone?"
He shrugged. "Nowadays, I think a lot of people have lost their sense of family togetherness. Not that it's anyone's fault. It just happened."
"I'll probably make up for my absence by taking a few days off when I get back and going home to see my parents."
"They can't know anything about this mission. What will you tell them?"
"A white lie.
I'll tell them a friend of mine got into trouble on the East Coast and I flew back to help her."
"That's painless," Jim conceded. He ached to have long, exploring conversations with Pepper. "So what are your other favorite holidays?"
She roused herself, trying to fight her inner pain.
"Christmas.
I love it. I go home then, too. My grandparents live in
Billings
, and as old as they are, they drive over for the week if there's no blizzard in progress.
Cam
and Molly and their kids come home, too. We have a great time. I just love seeing the kids, playing with them, building snowmen and stuff like that."
The warmth in Pepper's eyes made Jim want to rail against life in general. Her voice had such a velvet quality to it, and her love for her family touched his heart as few things ever did. He saw new life in her eyes, and he longed to share that with her. If only he could.
If only…
"Well, we're due in
Miami
in two days," he said in a low voice. "I hope we get to share more times like this, Pepper."
Startled, she sat up. "Like what?"
"Talking with you."
He frowned. Why did she look incredulous, as if she didn't really believe him? Was the ghost of John Freedman still standing between them?
Probably.
Jim no longer cared. One way or another, he was going to replace that ghost from her past.
Nervously, Pepper stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I want to go see Laura, if I can."
He nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later."
Laura was sleeping when Pepper stopped to see her. Too restless to go back to her cabin, Pepper went up to the bridge, where she found Noah
Trayhern
. Though Noah wore the same dark blue uniform as everyone else, it was obvious he was in charge. His carriage, his low, commanding voice and the way the crew members on the bridge responded showed that. Pepper liked the officer. He was easygoing yet firm. She liked to think she was that way with her team, too. It was obvious Noah's crew not only respected him, but liked him—a rare combination.
When he spotted her, Noah stood up and offered her his captain's chair, with the best view on the ship. Huge windows framed the entire area, giving everyone good visibility. "Have a seat."
"Thanks." Pepper slid into the chair. From here, she could see the dark expanse of the
Caribbean
. Above, thousands of stars seemed quilted into the velvety sky.
"How about a cup of fresh coffee?"
Noah suggested, gesturing to one of the crew to get it for them.
Pepper nodded. "Thanks, I could use it. I came up here to find out how Laura is doing. Colonel Woodward said you were just with her."
Rubbing his jaw, the officer leaned against the console and faced her. "She's making good progress physically. Her memory is spotty, though. I just had a talk with Dr. Parsons, and she said that gradually Laura should remember everything."
Pepper took the white mug offered to her, with thanks. Noah took the other proffered mug and sipped the coffee thoughtfully. "I'm just glad the worst is over for her," she said.
"In one way it is, and in another way it isn't," Noah murmured. "Dr. Parsons examined her thoroughly and told me Laura had been raped."
Stunned, Pepper sat very still, the mug resting in her hands. "Oh, God, no…"
Grimly, Noah rasped, "If I
ever
get my hands on Garcia, he's a dead man."
Shaken, she whispered, "That's terrible. She's already got her own private hell she's going to have to deal with."
"Yes, and I just talked to
Perseus
. They still don't have a line on where Morgan or Jason
are
." Frustration was evident in his voice. "I'm having a tough time with this whole situation. I knew Morgan going into a security business like this would make him enemies, but I never envisioned it turning into such a can of worms."