Authors: Barbara Delinsky
He studied her as she slept. She was a striking woman, no denying it. Homebody she might be, but there was an earthiness to her that men found attractive. J.D. had been captivated when Sam and Annie had fixed them up, though on paper Teke had been all wrong for him. She came from nowhere, had two duffel bags filled with clothes, a thousand dollars in the bank, and little else. Marrying her had been J.D."s first major act of rebellion.
No. That was wrong. J.D."s first major act of rebellion had been befriending Sam, who had been nearly as unacceptable to the senior Maxwells as Teke. That thought haunted Sam now. He wondered if they had had a telescope to the future, if they had somehow known years before what would happen.
He couldn't believe it. He and Teke. Looking at her now, he felt no desire whatsoever, but then,
the desire he had felt hadn't been for her. He loved and desired his wife.
Total faith. Annie repeated the phrase once more when she turned into Michael's room a step behind the girls and saw Teke dozing on the chair with Sam nearby.
"How is he?"
"Is he awake?"
"Any change?"
With the hushed chorus, the girls gathered around the bed. Annie slid an arm around Sam's waist. He did the same and kissed her, though she felt an odd tension in him. But of course he was worried about Michael. She echoed the girls' questions with a look.
"He's holding his own," Sam said.
Teke stretched, opened her eyes, and gave the girls a thin smile. "How was school?"
"Okay."
"Hard."
"Boring," came the assessment from Zoe, Leigh, and Jana, respectively.
"It'd be better if we could be here," Zoe said.
"Michael?" Leigh coaxed, leaning over him. "Come on, Michael, it's us. Time to wake up and say in."
Jana propped her backpack on the railing and opened one of the flaps.
"I have cards, Mike." She took out a huge handful. "They're from the eighth grade class. The twins ran them over at lunchtime. Homeroom this morning was dedicated to you."
Leigh was looking at Teke. "Are you okay?"
Teke repeated the same thin smile and nodded.
Annie was looking at Teke, too, though without a return. "Have you eaten?" she asked, trying for eye contact.
Teke darted her a quick glance before closing her eyes and resting her head against the back of the chair. "A little. The nurses bring me things."
"Can I bring you something more? A sandwich? A drink?" Teke gave a tiny head shake. "But thanks."
Annie kept trying. "Why don't I drive you home for a shower and a change of clothes?"
Teke opened her eyes to Michael's inert form in a way that said she couldn't leave him that long.
"Annie and I are going for a walk," Sam said quietly. "We'll be back." He slipped his fingers through hers and drew her out of the room. Annie's heart beat faster. Something about Sam seemed strange. He's heartsick about Michael, she told herself. Twice.
Holding tightly to his hand as they walked, she said, "Poor Teke. "This is a mother's worst nightmare." She looked up at him. "How is J.D.?"
"He's upset. He feels a little better when he's threatening legal action, but that's only to compensate for his helplessness here." Annie tried to put herself in his shoes. "Maxwells don't like feeling helpless."
"No one does." Sam pushed the elevator button. While they waited for it to arrive, he turned Annie's hand over in his, tracing her fingers, touching her wedding band with his thumb. It was narrow, gently squared, and studded with tiny diamonds, actually a tenth-anniversary gift to replace the plain gold band that had been all he could afford for their wedding. Annie had loved that plain gold band. She still wore it sometimes.
The elevator opened. Two hospital attendants filed out, followed by a man in casual clothes-jeans, a plaid shirt, and a corduroy blazer with lapels wide enough to date it. He looked freshly
showered and shaved, but somber. Annie wondered whom he was visiting.
"Do we know that man?" Sam asked as he guided her into the elevator. She tried to see back down the hall, but the elevator door was closing.
"I don't think so."
"He looks familiar. I guess I've passed him here." He leaned against the elevator wall, holding her close by his side.
She raised her face. "Are you okay?"
He shrugged.
"Worried?"
"Ohhhhh, yes."
"Have you been here long?" That would explain his needing to take a walk.
But he said, "Nah."
The car stopped at the floor below, then at each successive floor. It was jammed with people by the time it reached the ground. Sam led her down the corridor and through a swinging door that opened onto a patio strewn with tables and chairs. When he found no two chairs free, he grabbed one from one table, one from another, and set them down as far as possible from the rest. Once Annie was seated he sat beside her, but he was up a second later, shifting the chair on the grass so that it was closer, more head-on, to hers. He sat again, straightened his back against the chair, found that uncomfortable. So he came forward, set his elbows on his thighs, and studied his hands.
She touched his shoulder, hoping to calm him some. "I'm sorry I missed your calls. After Teke and J.D." this has to be hardest on you. You and Michael spend so much time together."
"It's not the time," he said, "it's the closeness. I love the little guy." He frowned. "Funny thing about love. Sometimes it screws you up."
It was a strange statement coming from the Sam she knew. The Sam she knew was positive to a fault. And he rarely studied his hands. "What do you mean?" she asked uneasily. Her thoughts took off in a wayward direction. She reined them back.
"It makes you unable to think straight sometimes." He raised his eyes.
"Know what J.D."s latest cause is?"
Annie felt a wave of relief. So it was J.D. he was talking about.
"What's his latest cause?"
"He's after the driver of the truck. The man spent time in prison once, so he is condemned forever in J.D."s eyes." His voice rose. "But that isn't right. Hell, we all make mistakes. We all do things in the heat of passion." He let out a breath and lowered his voice. "Anyway, J.D is sure we can get him for some violation of the law."
"Can you?"
"Not if he hasn't broken any laws, and it sounds like he hasn't. I called the police department before I left the office. They can't find anything other than this one prior conviction. They'll bring the man in and talk with him to appease J.D." but they can't charge him without cause. I feel bad for the guy. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time, just like Mike."
He looked off across the lawn, then at Annie, then down at his hands again.
Her unease returned. "Was that what you wanted to talk to me about?" He shook his head and continued to scowl at his hands.
What is it, Sam? Tell me, please? I have faith in you. Total faith.
"Virginia Clinger stopped at the house this morning right before I left," she began.
He looked up too quickly for Annie's peace of mind.
She swallowed. "Virginia's a difficult woman. I've never liked her. She loves goading people and making them uncomfortable."
"What did she say?"
Annie rolled her eyes to make light of it. "She said--made a point to say--that Teke was wearing a bathrobe and that your shirt and belt were undone when you ran into the street after Michael. She would love to think you two were having an affair." Which, of course, was not true.
"She actually told the kids that you were, and they happily carried the news to school. Will Clinger has been shooting off his mouth all day. The girls were livid"
Sam closed his eyes.
Cold fingers touched Annie's heart. She rushed on. "They denied it, of course. Jon nearly got into a fistfight with Will. It's difficult when kids feel they're the object of whispering. They were insulted for us. I'm not sure what to do, Sam. I'm thinking I ought to go to the Gingers' tonight and confront Virginia. Maybe we ought to go there together. What she's done isn't right. It wouldn't be right under any circumstances, but with Michael in a coma, it's doubly wrong. Doesn't she know that rumors like that cause pain?"
Sam didn't speak.
The cold fingers encircled her heart. "There are explanations for everything," she said, nervously searching his face for a denial. "Teke was in her robe because she'd been doing housework. You were coming apart because you'd been in the bathroom. Everyone knows that the Maxwell house is an extension of ours. We walk in and out. We have each other's keys on our key chains. The idea that Virginia would try to make something out of nothing is infuriating." Agree with me, Sam. Tell me she's an evil woman. Say something. "It's not right that she
should be spreading rumors." Her voice cracked. Fearful, she stopped speaking.
Still with his elbows on his thighs, Sam took her hand and sandwiched it between his. Her hands felt cold. His hands felt cold. The one around her heart was frigid, making breathing harder.
"Yesterday morning was incredible," he said, eyes down. "I got the call from the clerk of court that the decision was in, so I raced over for a copy. I barely saw the words, I was so excited. By the time I was done, I had one thing in mind."
Look at me, she begged silently. But he didn't.
"I wanted you. I always want you at times like that, and I thought it was so perfect that it was a Tuesday and you'd be at the house. So I drove home, and I was getting more aroused, and then you weren't there. I thought Teke might know where you were, so I went through the woods. She was just sitting in the living room drinking coffee. When I told her my news, she was happy for me. We hugged-we always hug--but then something happened. I was wanting you, and she was there, and it was like I forgot who she was and made love to you--"
"What?" Annie asked in a tiny wisp of breath that escaped the chill spreading inside.
"It was unreal and bizarre--"
Annie started to shiver. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held it fast, tremors and all. Her entire body was shaking. She felt she was splintering apart.
He raised his eyes beseeching. "I keep asking myself how it happened and what I was thinking and feeling, and how could I have done something so stupid, but, so help me God, I was thinking and feeling for you. It happened in a flash and was over, and then the door slammed. Michael must have come in and seen us and raced back out. Then we heard the
squeal of brakes. It was a mistake, Annie. I love you, not Teke. What happened in her living room meant nothing."
It was true? But it couldn't be. Sam loved her. She had total faith in him.
It was true? Her eyes filled with tears.
"Say something," he whispered. "Tell me I'm a louse. Tell me I'm a cheat. Tell me I don't deserve my family. Tell me I'm a worthless shit. But say something."
Needing to escape and blot out what he'd said, she tried again to pull her hand back, but he wouldn't release it. So she let it go limp. It shook more than ever.
He kept talking. "I'm so disgusted with myself that it's hard for me to bear my own company for more than a few minutes a sitting. I walked all over town this morning. I kept stopping at phone booths to call you." He paused. "Talk to me, Annie."
She felt one tear fall, then another, hot and unreal against the coldness of her skin. "You made love with Teke?" she asked in a disbelieving whisper. Sam wouldn't do that. Not her Sam. "Teke's my best friend. She's your best friend's wife."
"I made love with you, but it was her body I used." Annie struggled with that thought. It didn't make sense. "But how?
There's no confusing the two of us. Her body's nothing like mine."
"I wasn't looking. So help me God, I didn't see a thing. I was only thinking that I'd had a great victory and that I was sharing the excitement with my wife."
"But it wasn't me, it was Teke," she cried. Her chin quivered. Her Sam wouldn't do that. "I don't understand. I thought we had it all."
"We do," he pleaded. "The problem isn't our relationship, it's me. Me. I'm the one who blew it. I'm
the one whose brain wasn't working the right way. I'm the one who let my desire for you spill over into another woman."
She made a face at the absurdity of it. "Teke?"
"I came home wanting you, Teke was there wanting someone else, and it happened."
"How could it happen?"
"I--don't--know."
She sagged into herself. When she tugged at her hand this time, he let it go. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, then wrapped her arms around her middle, rocked a little, stared off into the distance. The cold hand around her heart was spreading a wash of despair. She was stunned and confused. "I never thought this would happen. Not to me."
"It was a mistake. My mistake."
"And Teke's," she said, feeling a spasm of pain. "How could she?"
"She's being punished for it."
"She was my best friend."
"She still is. She loves you. I love you."
Annie met his eyes, but they looked different. He was different. A stranger. Surely. Her Sam would never hurt her this way. Distancing herself, she asked rationally, "Does J.D. know?"
"No."
"Will you tell him?"
"That's Teke's job."
"She'd better do it before Virginia does." She closed her eyes and put a hand there. She continued to hug herself with the other. It seemed the only thing holding her together. The distancing wasn't working.
"Oh, God," she whispered, "I feel sick."
"No more than me."
"What do I do?"
"You give me a chance to make things right."
She felt a quick, raw fury toward this man who was
her Sam, but not. Lowering her hand, she stared at him. "Make things right? You betrayed me and your best friend by screwing my best friend, and now their son is fighting for his life, and you want to make things right?" Unable to sit a second longer, she bolted from the chair and strode angrily across the grass.
"Where are you going?" Sam called, coming after her, sounding frightened. "To see Michael?"
"No. I don't want to see Teke." Teke. Her best friend. And Sam. Her husband.