Mistaken (15 page)

“Just leave me here!” She crossed her arms like a spoiled five year old. Trey wasn't about to sit and fight with Dillan while she was intoxicated. His clothes were already quite wet from the increasing downpour and he certainly didn’t plan on leaving her here alone.

“We can do this one of two ways Dillan. Either you walk with me, or I pick you up and carry you unwillingly for the next five blocks. Either way I am NOT about to let you sit in the cemetery drunk all night.” It was Trey’s turn to cross his arms. With his stature, it was a bit more intimidating than when she did it.

“Whatever...let's go.”  She turned and walked ahead of him. Dillan passed the cemetery gates and headed toward the road before she hailed an oncoming cab. She was not in the mood to walk all the way back home in her work heels after downing so many drinks. The cab ride back to her building was silent and awkward. She and Trey both stared out of their respective windows, equally annoyed with one another at this point. When they reached the building, Dillan paid the driver, then clumsily stumbled out of the cab, refusing Trey's assistance when he tried to help her.

“We should probably take the elevator--” He suggested.

“I'm fine with the stairs.” Dillan grumbled, cutting him off.
Like I want to be trapped in a confined space with him?
He only shook his head and followed closely behind her, watching her teeter on nearly every step. Dillan refused to look back at him. She didn't want to deal with anyone. She wanted to be left alone.
Why can’t he just leave me alone? Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?

“Dillan, watch your step!” Trey's warning came too late, as she had already lost her footing and stumbled forward onto the landing. She put out a hand to catch herself, but the impact sent pain shooting up her wrist. She bit her lip, holding back tears as the sharp pain spread through her hand. Trey was next to her in a second, sliding his arms under hers and gently lifting her to her feet.

“I can get up on my own!” she snapped at him, immediately regretting it as he recoiled with a wounded look on his face. She did not want to feel bad right now; she didn't want to feel anything. He walked ahead of her by a few feet and unlocked the door, holding it open for her. She walked past, glancing at

him, but he looked away.

“I'll grab us some towels,” He said quietly and disappeared into the bathroom.  Dillan groaned in frustration. She knew he was only trying to help, but her life was falling apart, and there was no stopping it. She wasn't sure that she wanted to stop it anymore. While he was out of the room, she kicked off her heels and pushed them against the wall. Dillan then quickly rummaged through her purse to fetch her prescription bottle, and dumped a few pills into her injured palm. She walked into the kitchen, grabbing an empty glass from the cabinet then turned toward the sink to fill it when she bumped right into Trey. She gave a small shriek out of surprise, dropping  both the pills and her glass. The glass shattered and  as she moved a small shard embedded itself right into the side of her foot.

“Dammit Trey!” She yelped in pain, and more tears welled in her eyes as she tried to lift her foot.

“Whoa, be careful.” He grabbed her around the waist to steady her. “Don't pull it out right here, you'll get blood everywhere.”  He moved her arm over his shoulder so that she could use him as support while she hopped to the bathroom.  Once they managed to reach the bathroom, Trey carefully sat her down on the toilet with the lid closed. She watched him as he found her first-aid kit under the sink and opened it, pulling out a few supplies.  Tweezers, gauze, alcohol swabs, and medical tape.

“Grab my shoulder, this will probably hurt.” He told her as he knelt down between her legs, gently lifting her foot. He examined it, and was relieved to find that the shard didn't go deep enough to warrant a visit to the ER. “On the count of three... One, Two, Three!”

“Oww!” Dillan's fingers dug into his shoulder as he pulled the shard out. Blood trickled out of the open wound and he quickly pressed gauze against it, then looked up at her.

“I'm sorry. About this and everything else,” His blue eyes caught hers. In that moment, his eyes were like deep pools of regret. He then returned his attention to her injury as he carefully cleaned it with an antiseptic.

“But I know what you’re doing Dillan, and it’s not going to help you.”

“I don't know what you are talking about...” She said quietly as she shifted her gaze away from him.

“Yes, you do. The drinking, the constant pill popping?  It isn't healthy Dillan. I'm just looking out for you.”

“Just looking out for me?  Is that what you call going through my stuff after I was nice enough to let you stay here? You are such a liar.” She grumbled. Trey froze at her last comment.
If only she knew how right she is.
  As their eyes met, she glared furiously at him. Her eyebrows bunched together and her lips scrunched into a pout.  He looked back down at her foot, holding it between his hands and wrapping it gently.

“I'm sorry I went through your office. I guess I was just hoping to find clues about what happened to Jamie.” Another lie slipped past his lips. He already knew, he had only hoped for proof.

“Those were my things... you went through my things! I don't care what you were hoping to find.” Her voice rose. Even if she wanted closure just as much as he did, it didn’t excuse what he had done.

“I know Dillan...you don't know how sorry I am for doing it. You had them locked away for a reason...”

“And then you dragged it all back out.” She pushed him away from her. “If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have gotten so upset. I wouldn't have taken so much of my medicine. I wouldn’t have forgotten to finish my work and gotten fired today!”

“Dillan... you had every right to be pissed off last night. But nobody forced you to take so many pills that you passed out until the next day. You were asleep for at least fourteen hours by my estimates.” He said as he placed her foot back down on the floor. “I highly doubt you were following your doctor's recommended dosage.” He paused, watching her expression soften slightly. She knew he was right.

“And speaking of your doctor, if you were trying to get better, why do you keep canceling your appointments? I saw her email.”

“You son of a bitch! You went through my computer too?!” Dillan shoved him, knocking him off balance and causing him to fall backwards against the floor as she pulled herself up and hobbled toward the living room. Trey scrambled to his feet following after her.

“I did. Your email account popped open when I went to use your computer and I happened to see an email from your therapist.” He blocked her from walking away from him, putting a hand against the wall in front of her. “You can be mad at me if you want...because I'm not sorry I read it.” Dillan turned to move in the opposite direction but he quickly pressed his other hand against the wall on that side of her, trapping her in.

“You need help Dillan... I see just how much you rely on the meds, and the drinking. It's hard to hide these things from a former drug addict.”

“I’m not some stupid drug addict.” Her eyes narrowed at him as she turned to face him.

“I'm not calling you one Dillan... I just hate watching you continue to hurt yourself in an attempt to numb the pain of what’s happened to you.” His tone was serious as he spoke. “I know that you really loved my brother. And I know you watched him die in your arms. And I can't even begin to imagine the horrible scars that those events have left on you, both emotionally and mentally.” Dillan whimpered as a few tears rolled down her cheek. Just hearing him say it, actually acknowledging what she had gone through that night was too much for her. She tried to turn her face away from his intense gaze, but he didn’t let her. He gently pressed his palm against her cheek as he stared into her eyes.

“Just from what my brother wrote to me about you, I know he really,
really
loved you. I know he was crazy about you. And it would break his heart to see you doing this to yourself. He wouldn't want you to stop living, stop feeling...”

Trey's voice strained as he spoke. These were things he himself would never get to experience. Especially not now.  As he spoke, the pain of his own words stung at his heart as her amber eyes stared back at him, no longer angry but full of anguish.

“Look, I know you were hoping to get married, and that the whole ‘till death do us part’ thing wouldn't come for a long time...but sometimes it does. We find out that all that time we thought we had with the ones we love was really only mere minutes, and everything we had planned to do or planned to say to them, has slipped through our grasp....but that’s no reason to let your own life slip away.” He said as he held her gaze.

Her pained expression smoothed for a moment as she processed his words. Everyone had tried to find the silver lining for her after Jamie had died. Always tried to get her to avoid thinking about it or dealing with it. Trying over and over to get her to move on.

But not Trey. His words cut into her, exposing all that she had so intricately and painstakingly kept hidden deep inside. Everything was laid out, in all its grotesque and painful glory.  Jamie had been torn away from her, and as unfair as it was, those were the cards that she was dealt. No amount of pills or drinks would ever change that fact. When they wore off, she would still be here, and so would the pain.

Dillan’s face contorted as she finally allowed herself to release everything she had been holding inside. Her shoulders crumbled forward as she pressed her face against Trey’s chest, her tears spilling out onto his already damp shirt. Trey wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him as her small frame shook with sobs. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, his movements cautious and unsure, only wanting to comfort her.

Dillan clung to him tightly as she wept, her fingers interlacing over the back of his neck. Neither spoke for several minutes. Trey rocked her gently, remaining silent, the slow rhythmic sound of his breathing soothed her.

Finally, her tears quieted and she lifted her head from Trey's chest, looking up at him. He opened his blue eyes, staring back at Dillan, his arms still loosely wrapped around her. His hair was damp from the rain, and some of it fell into his eyes. Trey seemed to have a strange but calming effect on Dillan, just as he had the other night on the dance floor. Despite her conflicted feelings about Trey, there was an energy between them she couldn’t help but notice when he was this close. Was it the whole twin connection? It wasn’t the same as when she was in Jamie’s arms. Was it just something that was unique to Trey? Either way, it was a comforting warmth that she found herself lost in. She wanted nothing more than to hate him right now, but she found it impossible.

Her hand softly brushed the hair from his eyes and Trey’s breathing froze at the touch of her fingertips. He closed his eyes for a moment and leaned his cheek against her hand as it lingered. Heat spread over his body as his entranced gaze met hers.There was no mistaking that he felt a similar calm as he held her close. It was a feeling he had always yearned for,  something he had envied as he watched others live their happy lives, oblivious to his lonely existence.

The feel of his stubbled chin brushing roughly against her hand sent a tingling down her spine, and she found her fingers gently stroking his jaw.  He stared into her eyes, unable to rip his attention away, unable to move. Every fiber of his being screamed that this was wrong. The sensations and shivers that seeped down to his core sent his emotions reeling. Each breath he took was heavy and restrained as he closed his eyes and let his lips brush against her fingertips.

Dillan’s mind compressed and jumbled together.
What am I doing? This is all wrong.
She wanted to scream it, but the words refused to go past her throat. The feeling of his soft lips against her fingers awakened vaguely familiar responses in her that had grown foreign with Jamie’s absence.

Trey’s lips moved within centimeters of Dillan’s before he managed to pull himself away.
I can’t do this.  I need to tell her.

“Dillan…I” Her lips crushed against his before Trey could finish his sentence. His resolve melted away, as his lips reacted to hers. Trey’s body folded over hers, backing Dillan against the wall as his hunger for her grew.

“Dillan, we can’t,” He whispered against her earlobe as his lips moved down her neck. He was unconvincing to even himself. As much as Trey knew this was wrong, he could no longer resist the pull he felt towards her, or the feelings that had started to develop since they had first met. Despite his warning she made no motion to move away from him. Dillan tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling his face back up to hers as she kissed him again.  Her mouth was hot against his, and Trey could still taste the alcohol on her lips.  He knew she wasn’t in complete control.

This is wrong.

“We can't...” he protested, moaning against her mouth. Even as he said the words, he knew he couldn't obey them. He didn't want to. Millions of tiny bolts of electricity shot through him at the feeling of her body against his. He was powerless against such an overwhelming need.

Dillan pulled away from Trey's grasp for a moment, and he breathed in deeply, relief washing over him. Maybe she realized it too. But as her eyes opened and she looked him over in a glassy haze, he knew there was no stopping this. Neither of them quite knew what was happening between them, only that they didn’t want to fight it. His own eyes were heavily fogged with lust and want as he took her in. The escalating desire caused a heady feeling to stir within Dillan as Trey’s intense stare locked with her own.

“Dillan, I’m sorry... ” Trey forced himself to take a step away from her, his eyes looking down shamefully, his voice thick with confusion. Without a word, Dillan grabbed the front of his damp shirt and pulled his body back against hers.

“Please don’t be.” Her voice was nearly a whimper as she brushed her lips over his.

Her movements and her words were too much for him. In one swift motion, he pinned her against the wall, his mouth against hers. Writhing against him, Dillan's fingers gripped the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up over his firm chest.  She had barely dropped his shirt on the floor, before his lips returned to hers, his body moving with an animalistic urgency. His fingers clawed at the fabric of her skirt, hastily pushing it up above her thighs.