Read Mission: Earth "Villainy Victorious" Online

Authors: Ron L. Hubbard

Tags: #sf_humor

Mission: Earth "Villainy Victorious" (25 page)

The clerk had relayed the fact and a background voice-Hightee's-had said, "Does he know where Jettero is? I'd surely love to find out."
Madison knew at once that Hightee did not know.
He went at once, smoothly, into the second phase of his plan to locate Heller-Wister for Lombar, after which he would get into his image-building.
"Tell your mistress I can't give her the message over the phone: her brother ordered me to give it personally. I am an Apparatus officer on detached duty to Home-view. My name is J. Walter Madison."
He promptly got his appointment for one o'clock, and here he was, flying in through a warm sun to land on the rooftop estate of Hightee Heller.
He was impressed! The estate looked like it comprised several acres that rested high in the air, crowning an elegant building. One could see for miles and miles from such an aerie; the view was not even blocked by neighboring buildings and looked down on other lovely estates. A place for the angels, even unto a wisp of wandering cloud! At least that was what Flick was crooning as he put the Model 99 down on the roof target. He was very disappointed to see a house clerk in black awaiting them instead of Hightee.
"The lady is expecting you," the clerk said. "She is in the summerhouse. I will escort you."
Madison sternly told Flick to stay by the car and followed the black-suited man down a curving path. The first thing that struck Madison was that the trees were full of songbirds trilling their hearts out in melodies and harmonies.
"However do you keep the birds in?" he asked the clerk.
At that moment two birds of gorgeous plumage swept down and inspected the briefcase Madison was carrying and then fluttered accusingly in front of his face.
"It's not a matter of keeping them IN," said the clerk. "It's a matter of never being able to drive them away. They sometimes hear the music from the oratory and they come for miles around to sing with Hightee. And they always fly with her when she takes her walks."
What struck Madison was the total absence of guards. This clerk didn't even have a telltale bulge in his close-fitting black coat. They hadn't even asked for an identoplate on landing, or now. He could be anybody, even an assassin. Nobody had even asked to look in his briefcase. Very, very lax. And it might be very useful.
He had to make sure. "Don't you have guards and security and things?" he asked. "It makes me nervous for her."
The clerk snorted. "Lady Hightee has fifteen billion fans who would tear anyone to pieces if she was hurt. And who would touch the sister of the hero of the Fleet, Jettero Heller? Only a madman would so much as frown at Lady Hightee, and it is very plain you are not one of those."
So there was no security, Madison filed away.
They came to the summerhouse, a grill of golden lattices through which the summer sun splashed in gentle patterns.
She had been working at a table with a sheet of music, probably memorizing a lyric. She came forward to the door, hand outstretched in welcome.
Madison flinched. He had never in his life seen such a beautiful woman. She was wearing a casual artist's smock of shimmering green. Her hair was the color of Heller's but it was fluffed into a glowing halo. Her eyes were an electric blue that made you feel very warm. The presence of her was an aura that seemed to make the day go brighter.
Madison came out of his shock, took the hand, bent over it to kiss it but the touch of her on his palm almost paralyzed him. Oh, yes, indeed, this was Hightee Heller. Even the three dimensions of Homeview screens couldn't begin to do her justice. For an instant he thought he was going to kneel despite himself.
Still bent over the golden fingernails, he summoned up his most engaging and ingenuous smile. He was very glad he had practiced it. The presence of this woman had almost knocked him flat and gawping. In fact, for the barest, fleeting instant, out of pure admiration for her, he had qualms at going forward with his plans. But he recovered quickly.
She was graciously waving him to a seat as she resumed her own swinging chair. As soon as she had sat down, Madison perched himself on the edge of the indicated armchair. He wished those patches of sunlight didn't make her glow. It made it difficult to proceed.
But Madison held on to his smile. "Forgive me for seeming so much at home, but Jettero has spoken of you to me so often, I feel that I know you."
She smiled. "Oh, Jettero and I have always been close. He is such a wonderful person."
"One of the finest fellows that ever lived," said Madison.
"Probably the finest and most honorable man alive," said Hightee.
"A prince among princes," said Madison. "I bless the day when he honored me with his friendship."
"You know him well, then?" said Hightee.
"Oh, intimately," said Madison. "It often makes me feel humble when he tells me how much he trusts me. How heartening it is, when all else is black, to know that one has such a dear friend as Jettero. I don't know what I would do without him."
"I have always felt," said Hightee, "how fortunate I was to have a brother like that."
"And such a future!" said Madison.
"There isn't a young officer in the Fleet that doesn't try to emulate him," said Hightee.
"Oh, he will rise to the top," said Madison. "Inevitable success."
"His superiors swear by him," said Hightee.
"I am sure he will achieve universal renown," said Madison. "In fact, he deserves everything that can be done for him."
"Indeed he does," said Hightee. "Ever since I was a little girl, I've felt more confident in life knowing he was there. I've always felt I was one of the luckiest girls alive to be his sister."
"And I have felt I was one of the luckiest fellows alive to be his friend," said Madison.
"You really have a message from him?" said High-tee, eagerly.
"It's more interesting than just that," said Madison. "In fact, he made me swear on my honor that I would not fail to see you personally and give you this present from him."
He opened up his briefcase and removed a large jewelry box and said, "From your brother with his love." And he handed it to her with a bow.
She opened it. The sunlight hit it and it hit back, breaking the light into a thousand colored pieces. Sitting in its new setting, nestled into the gold net cap, the jewel quite took her breath away. She had never seen anything like it: an emerald inside a perfect diamond.
She put it on and the jewel in the center of her forehead drove the sunlight frantic in the summerhouse. She took up a small mirror and looked. Then she took it off and gazed at it. When the pulse in her lovely throat slowed down, she gazed at Madison. "Where could he have possibly acquired it? It must have cost ten years' pay!"
"Oh, he didn't buy it," said Madison. "It is quite a story. It's called the 'Eye of the Goddess'. Jettero is so brave and so commanding that it was presented to him by the Aga Khan when Jettero saved the life of his son."
"Oh!" said Hightee. "Tell me!"
"Well, Jettero made so little of it that he did not give me many details. He never brags."
"How like him," said Hightee.
"But it was headlines in all the newssheets. The son of the Aga Khan was on a
tiger
hunt-that is a very dangerous beast-and Jettero happened to be flying by and pulled the Aga Khan's son right out of the jaws of the tiger, barehanded."
"Oh! How dangerous!"
"Well, Jettero is nothing if not the most courageous fellow alive. But you know, he is so modest, I'll wager when you see him he won't even mention the exploit. Probably just laugh and say it never happened."
"That's my brother. Go on."
"He's so unwilling to take well-earned praise," continued Madison. "And when the Aga Khan presented him in gratitude with this family heirloom, do you know that Jettero actually blushed? I know. I was right there and saw him myself. He slid it into his pocket and he whispered to me, 'The only reason I'm not giving this back is because I think Hightee would like it.' "
"Oh, how sweet."
"But that's Jettero," said Madison. "He also said, when he made me promise to give it to you directly when I arrived on Voltar, 'Tell her I won it shooting dice and say it's a bauble she needn't even thank me for.' But I could never bring myself to lie to you. So I have told you the truth. Don't mention it to him that I did. He'd half kill me!"
"But good Heavens, I have to thank him."
"Oh, I thought of that. Wear it on your next Home-view appearance and, without saying how he got it, since that would embarrass him and reveal I had told you the truth, casually mention that the jewel is a gift from your brother Jettero and dedicate your next song to him and all his brother officers of the Fleet. And then sing some song about far places and loved ones at home and then say you don't know where your brother is and long to hear from him to thank him for the gift. And his brother officers, hearing it, wanting to help you thank him, would tell you where he is now. I'm sure the resulting fan mail would come in in a flood. Any of your fans, let alone his brother officers, would be eager to relieve your anxiety about where your brother is."
"Oh, it's a lovely idea. But you just saw him. Don't you know where he is?"
"Alas," said Madison, shaking his head sadly, "the two of us had a little farewell party for each other. We were going different ways. And it was only after his ship took off that I suddenly realized he had not told me where he was going. But it's not important that I know. It is only important that any anxiety you have be relieved. So I have written this little card for you that you can use for your lines and you can locate him and send your thanks to him that way."
She read the card and the lines. "Why, this is sort of sweet."
"And you could let me know as well," said Madison.
"I worry about him. He is too brave. And also, of course, I miss him."
"Well, I certainly do thank you," said Hightee, rising, "for bringing his gift."
Madison rose, too, but he said, "Oh, that isn't all that I have brought."
PART SEVENTY-SIX
Chapter 1
Hightee Heller looked at Madison with a bit of wonder. "You mean, after that beautiful gift you brought me from Jettero, you have something
else?
My, you
are
a man of surprises. But come, let us stroll a bit: I've been sitting all morning."
J. Walter Madison hastily grabbed his briefcase and followed her out of the summerhouse. They were instantly accompanied by songbirds.
The acres of the rooftop estate were artfully landscaped with curving paths and pools and waterfalls and trees so that every few yards, on any path one took, one was looking at a new presentation.
Sauntering along, hands thrust into her artist's smock pockets, Hightee looked sideways at him. "Now what is this something else?"
"Your new musical!" said Madison. "I've brought it!"
"That's unusual," said Hightee. "Normally I originate them and my own staff develops them."
Madison hadn't known that: on Earth artists didn't write them; they just sang and acted in them. But he plunged ahead. "Well, the order to do it comes from Lord Snor himself. He's a great admirer of yours, as they all are. When he heard one of the songs from it, he said, 'THAT'S HIGHTEE!'"
"He did? That's funny. He's as deaf as a rock."
"To everything but a bone-phone," said Madison hastily. "They put bones into the probe, I mean prones into the bobe...."
Hightee laughed. Then she said, "I'm sorry I got you all flustered. Maybe Lord Snor did wake up and listen to what goes on on Homeview. Stranger things have happened."
Madison was floundering in his briefcase. The impact of Hightee Heller was a bit much for him. But he was a veteran and he got himself under control. "Look, I better play you one of the songs from it. Where can I find a
piano?"
"A what?"
"A keyboard. I'm not any pro but I tinkle away."
Hightee was walking away from him. He quickly followed. Then he noticed that some of the vine-covered walls they had been passing were actually the sides of structures. She opened something that looked like a garden gate and Madison, coming up behind her, found himself looking into what must be a musical-equipment repair shop.
A middle-aged man was standing over a bench which was littered with electronic components and shells of what might be instruments. He looked up, saw Hightee, smiled and laid down a tool.
"Jarp," said Hightee, "have you ever heard of an instrument called a
piano?"
"No," said Jarp. "What's it look like?"
"Teeth," said Madison. "It has lots of keys like ivory teeth."
Jarp turned to Hightee. "He's talking about some primitive mouth instrument."
"No, no," said Madison. "It's quite sophisticated.
You play it by hitting the keys with both hands in chords. You mean you don't have a keyboard? Oh, dear!"
"What scale is it?" said Jarp.
"Eight-note major, thirteen-note chromatic."
"Do you know the notes?"
When Madison nodded, Jarp dug around and found the remains of a chorder-beat that operated on finger proximity. Madison, after a couple of sour tries, managed to get it to hum the right numbers of vibrations. Jarp turned on a recorder and Madison, moving his finger closer and closer and holding it each time he had the right note, ran the chromatic scale.
"All those notes on one instrument?" said Hightee.
"Yes," said Madison. "Eighty-eight total."
"I know," said Jarp. "He's talking about a chorder-bar." He turned to Madison. "When you put a finger down on a long bar, it sounds a note. When you put it down softly you get low volume; when you put it down hard you get high volume. But you were saying something about a keyboard or keys. What's it look like?"

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