Miss Taken (9 page)

I had to wonder though.

Ned got my card and loved it. He said if all
goes well we would be able to go out Friday, starting right after
school because his parents were going to let him drive that day! I
was totally psyched. My second batch of chocolate turned out better
than the first, but still not as pretty as I wanted them to be.

I did not eat these rejects, however. Between
the pimples and the waistband of my jeans digging into my side, I
needed to lay off the candy. Somehow I was going to have to find
time to work some calisthenics into the schedule as well.

I decided to bring round #2 in to school on
Friday to share with whomever, Diana, Hannah, even Kyle since they
weren’t bad, they just weren’t up to snuff for my boyfriend.

My third attempt wasn’t a total success, but
I was now officially out of time and whiskey, so I decided that
truffles that were neither perfectly round, oval, square or any
other recognizable shape had a certain rustic charm.

Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to
it.

I brought the rejects to share too, but of
course I couldn’t do that in math since Ned was there.

Although the chocolate-making had used up a
lot of time, I still found a few minutes to create a smashing
ensemble to wear out on our date. The base was my red crinkle
sheath dress. Even though it had betrayed me on the first day of
school when it got tucked into the back of my jeans and made me
look like a strutting peacock, it is flattering to my skin tone and
a classic for the holiday. I paired it with a multi-colored beaded
knit shrug (some of the beads exactly match my new Caribbean blue
eyes) and black parachute pants. After all the candy I had eaten,
it was important to wear the most slimming color. Plus it was
pretty chilly. If Ned was planning another outdoor picnic, I wanted
to be prepared.

My hair wasn’t a great success, but it never
is, and what with all the time I spent on the truffles and the
outfit, I really didn’t have time to mess with it. I clamped on a
chip clip and forgot about it.

Ned was clearly impressed with my attire.
When he squeezed my hand, I felt full-body tingles in anticipation
of the big event coming up in a mere six hours. Ned wasn’t dressed
any special way, but that’s his style, forever casual, if not to
say totally mismatched.

Sofagirl was watching us as I whispered sweet
nothings in his ear. I made a remark about the creepy way she is
always staring us with those giant eyes of hers. “Sofagirl is so
skinny, maybe she is going to eat us up.” I giggled.

Ned pulled away a little. “Her name is
Sophie.”

“Close enough,” I replied lightly.

He dropped my hand. He did not look
amused.

I returned the glare. Why does he care so
much about what the skinny little nun’s real name is?

He opened his mouth to say something but the
bell interrupted him. It was imperative that neither of us got
detention on such an important day as this.

“I have to get to class. You too,” I said
pointedly. I really wanted to give him a squeeze on one cheek or a
kiss on the other, but Sofagirl was still there. I had to settle
for a sassy wink.

Ned nodded, but something told me he was not
in the best of moods.

I hightailed it out of there so I wouldn’t
get stuck walking to bio with Sofagirl.

There was a cute little fuzzy animal of
indeterminate species holding a big heart waiting on my desk in
biology. I did kind of wonder why Ned hadn’t given it directly to
me since I had just seen him, but I was impressed by his effort and
the appropriateness of leaving it in my bio class.

Feeling full of goodwill toward others, I
broke out the second-rate chocolates and handed them out to
everyone, even the kids I don’t like at all. Sofagirl snuck up
behind me as I was distributing them. I generously held out the
foil. She sniffed and hesitated. Some people have no manners.

Finally she selected the tiniest one and then
proceeded to take a nibble so small it was hard to even see an
indent on the thing. She winced but quickly composed her face.
“Thank you,” she said with a heavy accent. It sounded French. She
took another miniscule bite. “They are not bad, but the whiskey is
a bit strong. I prefer Kirsch, cherry liqueur, you know?”

She pronounced it, “cheery” and the retort
was on my tongue that I thought all alcohol made people feel
cheery. I figured it out at the last second and merely smiled.
Discreetly waiting until she had moved away, I pointed out the
similarities between Sofagirl and a stick insect to Kyle. He would
have shown better judgement if his laughter had been as soft as my
whisper. She turned back to see what was so funny.

Unlike some picky people, Kyle seemed to
really like the whiskey truffles. I was politely appreciative
without being overly friendly. Diana thought they were really good
too, although in my opinion she would have been better off stopping
after three.

I glowed through the day, counting down the
minutes left until 2:35 when we would be free to set off on our
magical date adventure. It didn’t even phase me when Kyle showed up
at my locker at the end of the day. He thanked me again for the
truffles. I accepted his compliments distractedly and offered him
the last few left of the seconds, while carefully shielding the
good ones from view.

Kyle stood there humming about the chocolate,
but my mind was humming away on a country road in Ned’s car. Then
he asked how I liked the koala bear. I looked at him for the first
time since he got there. His freckles really aren’t that
noticeable, except the ones across his nose. Freckles on the bridge
of the nose is an attractive look on a lot of people.

“You gave me that?”

Kyle nodded. A little smile was playing
around the corners of his mouth as he cracked his invisible gum. He
was very proud of having tricked me.

“Did you by chance also leave me the
lollipop?”

The smile got bigger.

“And the card?”

He lowered his sunglasses so he could wink at
me. Then he flicked them back into place, checked his shirt collar
to make sure it was still in the upright position and leaned
against the window sill, just waiting for the huzzahs of
appreciation to start up.

If I could have found the word to describe my
feelings at that moment, I was have said I was nonplussed.

But since I was so completely nonplussed, my
brain wasn’t working and so I just stood there, speechless and
unable even to continue packing the books into my bag. Kyle clicked
his invisigum a few times and then came toward me again. He said,
“So, happy Valentine’s Day.”

Suddenly his face was directly in front of
mine. A big, wet, chocolaty smooch landed right on my lips.

I was so shocked, I kept my eyes open the
whole time. It turns out, up close, he really does have a lot of
freckles.

Since my vision was being blocked by Kyle’s
freckles, I did not see Ned come loping around the corner at that
precise moment. But as my ears were unimpeded, I heard him loud and
clear. “What the -” and then, “You have got to be kidding me!” I
shoved Kyle aside just in time to see Ned’s angry back making its
way to the exit.

“Crap!” I shouted, shooting deadly eye darts
at Kyle, who shrugged at me, all innocence.

I didn’t waste any more time on him. I seized
Ned’s gift from my locker and ran after the person who had been my
boyfriend until two seconds ago. “Ned, wait!”

He was moving fast and totally furious.

“Ned, wait. Please turn around and look at
me.” I had to let go of the tin foil with one hand to grab his
sleeve. The chocolates hit the floor. I hadn’t found any decent
packaging materials and the flimsy tray crumpled under the weight.
“Oh, no.”

Ned stopped for a second and looked at the
mess on the ground.

“I made these, just for you!” I wailed,
sounding completely pathetic.

One pair of angry eyes fastened on mine. “Oh,
so was Kyle just taste-testing them then?”

I froze. Even though it was just a
second-rate truffle, at a distance, no one would know that. “No, I
had some leftovers...” I began in a small voice.

Ned snorted. “Well, now I guess you have a
few more.” The door slammed behind him.

I wanted to chase after Ned and explain that
it was all just a big misunderstanding. I also wanted to break down
and have a huge tantrum in the hallway. I could have cheerfully
screamed at Kyle so loud it would blow the freckles right off his
face. And I would have liked to stomp all over the chocolates and
deface the school with them, if that were possible with soft candy.
Although chocolate can be quite a challenge to remove from most
fabrics, I think it comes off pretty easily from steel and
linoleum.

It was perhaps due to the fact that there
were so many things I wanted to do, I became utterly paralyzed and
was unable to perform any of them. The trance lasted until the
sound of teacher feet coming down the hall reached my ears. An ugly
tweed skirt came into view. Mrs. Rochel.

Talk about one of the last people I wanted to
run into at that particular moment.

“You poor dear. Let me help you with those.”
I certainly wasn’t expecting any kindness out of her so I must have
looked pretty pitiful. She leaned down to help me pick up the
candy. “Is this one of the recipes you learned in my class?”

Then she sniffed. The friendly smile
disappeared. She plucked one from the floor. It was headed for her
nose.

Uh-oh.

That released me from my inertia. I slapped
it out of her hand and grabbed up the rest of them as fast as I
could.

“Jane. Let me see those.”

I took care of the matter by smashing the
whole mess against my delicate, hand-wash-only dress. Getting
chocolate out all those wrinkles is going to be a nightmare, but
this is an emergency situation. Let her put her nose to my breast
if she dares.

She didn’t try. Instead, Mrs. Rochel stood
and straightened her too-tight skirt. I don’t know how anyone can
gain weight eating the food she prepares. She said, “This
discussion isn’t over, young lady.” She clunked down the hall on
her chunky heels that didn’t even match her skirt. How can anyone
not find a color to match tweed?

It registered in my mind that she was headed
toward M. Waddell’s room, carrying a supperware bundt cake
container. But since it looked like I was about to get suspended
from school in addition to losing my boyfriend, I couldn’t find it
in my heart to feel happy about this development.

Once she was gone, I let out a huge sob.

One sob. But that was all.

I managed to hold it together as I calmly
plucked the rejected truffles off my body and placed them neatly
back in the tin foil. Why I did that, I don’t know. It looked like
a pile of dog crap now. I was so glad no one was there to see my
alcohol-laced-looks-like-dog-doo-smeared dress.

Walking back down the hall, I prayed I had
had the foresight to stash a spare shirt in my locker.

Instead, I found the only other person I did
not want to see standing there.

I couldn’t believe it. Even though the killer
eye darts had failed earlier, I gave my magic contacts another
chance and attempted to vaporize him with a solid laser blast. I
flared my eyes at him for all I was worth. Kyle didn’t get
evaporated. He didn’t even move or say anything. I slapped the
tinfoil down on the window sill and sifted through the junk in my
locker. When I didn’t find a shirt (just three (?) socks and five
scrunchies), I put on my coat to hide the embarrassment and started
to gather my books.

Impervious-to-all-hints-Kyle was still
standing there. He had the nerve to peel apart the crumpled foil.
“Mmm,” he said. “Can I...?”

While it might have been fun to let him eat
candy that had who-knows-what on it from the floor, I couldn’t
stand the chipper tone of his voice. What did he think, that he
deserved a reward for ruining my happiness forever?

I clawed the stinking goo from his hands and
flung it at the nearest trash can. Amazing. It went in. Is that
what’s missing in me? Does anger release some hormone that allows
one to make accurate free throws?

“Go. Away.” I stated this loudly and clearly
so there would be no ambiguity between us.

It worked. Kyle picked up his backpack and
went.

Strange but true scientific fact: During
mating, the female praying mantis eats her mate, starting with the
head. This does not deter the male in any way. Indeed, his
movements become more vigorous.

I gathered some random books. When they
wouldn’t cooperate and go into my bag neatly, I nearly tore it to
shreds. I sat down on the floor and tried to calm myself by
counting backward from 100 by 13s. I was at -641 before I could
even begin to think about my predicament.

I had missed the bus, of course. Which meant
I had to call my mother and hope she could pick me up in less time
than it would take me to walk home in my pointy granny boots.

I went to the only public telephone in the
building because I could not deal with any sympathy from the office
staff.

And there sat Kyle.

My heart stopped in a
I-can’t-take-one-more-little-thing sort of way.

But my heart must be made of some tough stuff
because I only had to figure out the square root of three to the
thirty-seventh decimal place before I could ask him, in a
reasonably calm voice, if he would move aside so that I could use
the phone. He slid over without a word. As I put my coin in the
slot, I willed myself to keep up the even tone as I spoke to my
mother. Apparently, my voice was too soft. She asked me to repeat
myself. Then Kyle had the nerve to start talking at the same
time.

“Excuse me,” I said coldly. “But I am trying
to make a private phone call.”