Thanks, but Im okay.
And of course, Jason shuffled around, waiting until everyone had gone. If you need someone to help you move the tree, I can do it, he said. I have an axe.
Thanks, but thats okay, Rachel said. I sort of like it there, she muttered, and let Jason walk her to her car.
She did slowly resume her job search, but only halfheartedly, driven by the need to eat, at least occasionally. But she didnt look very hard because she preferred, at least for the moment, the obscurity of a string of odd jobs. Which pretty much left her alone with her self-pity and the occasional pint of Ben and Jerrys Brownie Fudge Ice Cream. Well. Okay, frequent pint.
If only Dagne would leave her alone. Dagne was really beginning to bug her. She was not content to watch Rachel slide into a deep depression, and when Rachel would not return her calls, she forced herself on her, arriving at her house, letting herself in, acting all mad and irritating Rachel to no end.
Get up! she cried at Rachel. Youre going to get huge lying around like this!
Actually, Ive lost a couple of pounds, Rachel said, and continued to eat popcorn from a bag the size of a king pillowcase. Shed picked three or four of them up at her last temp job, Kettledrum Popcorn, Inc.
That had made Dagne mad, as usual, and she had stalked off to a very clean dining room and had started going through the hutch while Rachel watched Joe Millionaire .
It was the night Joe Millionaire was to pick his favorite and lay the news on her that he didnt have eighty million dollars. He didnt even have eighty dollars, but he still loved the girl. And for some reason, as he started to break the news to her, Rachel started to sob. Dont believe him! she wailed at the television. Hes lyyyyying ! You cant trust him! Youll never be able to trust a word he says!
Amazingly, she never even saw Dagne hurtling through space toward her. But she did, snatching the popcorn from Rachels hand, and the remote, which she used to turn off the television before she hurled it into the dining room and shouted, SNAP OUT OF IT!
Youre screaming at me, Rachel said tearfully.
Yes, Im screaming at you! Im screaming at the top of my lungs because I cant take it anymore! You and this little pity party have got to stop ! Okay, okay, he hurt you, he lied to you, he should have told you the truth, but how long are you going to go on like this? she demanded.
Oh shut up! Rachel shot back nastily. You think you know so much! Ive forgotten all about Myron!
Jesus, Rach, Im not talking about Myron ! Im talking about Flynn!
The very mention of his name was like a knife in her heart and with a gasp that surprised even her, Rachel came up off the couch, gathered her robe tightly around her, and marched past Dagne in her Holstein cow slippers to the kitchen.
Naturally, the bitch followed right behind her.
Leave me alone, Dagne! Rachel shouted.
I am so sick of this, Rachel! How long can one person feel sorry for themselves?
I dont know, and what do you care? You have boyfriends! Two at last count, Glenn and Joe!
Glenn dumped me, remember? And Joe is not my boyfriend, she said, her face turning fireplug red, which, of course, meant that she was gaga for him.
Rachel poured a glass of wine, pushed past Dagne, and stomped into the dining room, feeling, all of a sudden, like a fish out of water, like she couldnt quite catch her breath.
Joes just been working with me to retrieve the items I sold on eBay, thats all, Dagne insisted.
Oh, sure, Rachel snorted. Christ, Dagne, you dont
even get it. At least you dont believe he is there for any other reason, like maybe, for you !
Just admitting it aloud was a sucker punch, and Rachel inadvertently gulped back a terrible sob.
Flynn was there for you, Dagne said, the shout gone from her voice. He loves you!
Oh God, Dagne, do me a favor and stop trying to make me believe some stupid spell! Right, right, he loves me so much hes gone back to England, she said, and took a huge gulp of wine.
No, he hasnt. Hes here in Providence!
The floor seemed to shift a little; Rachel looked at Dagne from the corner of her eye. What do you meanhes here?
Dagne nodded emphatically. Hes been tracking down the stuff I sold on eBay, too.
That news hit Rachel hardshe had convinced herself that hed left, had flown back to England and had put her out of his mind. To think hed been in Providence all this time, while she had been mourning him Great. Just great . So hes been here and never bothered to let me know! Oh yeah, thats love all right! she said angrily.
Dagne looked at her with such exasperation that Rachel cringed. Well, he might have called you if your phone wasnt disconnected! And he might have come by if you hadnt told him you never wanted to see him again!
Did he say that?
Its pretty obvious.
Oh, God, Rachel moaned.
Anyway, I dont give a shit what you think, Dagne said with all authority, and picked up her purse, tucked the giant bag of popcorn under her arm. Because you are incapable of thinking straight. But if I were you, Id get myself ready, because I put a major spell on you, girl. And when the moon is full, which, for your information, is only days away, true love is going to come hopping back into your life. For good.
Jesus, will you stop with that crap? Rachel cried, covering her ears.
No, I will not, Dagne said pertly, and marched to the door. Because I believe! Thats always been your problem, you know that? You never believe, unless its something negative about yourself! Try believing in the positive for once! she said, grabbing up her purse. Youre pissing me off now. Ill see you tomorrow, she said
I cant wait, Rachel muttered. But when she was sure Dagne was really gone, she picked up her wine and went upstairs, to her laptop. She did too believe, and she believed it was time to leave Providence.
Subject: Re: Hello Baby Girl
From: lt; earthan g [email protected] gt;
To: Dad lt; [email protected] gt;
-
Hi Dad. Yes, Im okay, I realty am. I wouldnt say 1 did what I needed to do in Hilten Head, but I learned a few important things, mostly about me, and flow I really have been living in a fantasy. I am really tired now, and I dont know what I want to do with my life anymore. But my dissertation topic Has been accepted, which means I will actually graduate with a Ph.D. in the next few months. I know, I know, big surprise, right? Anyway, after that, I think I want to come home to Texas. Everytning here is just a reminder and I dont want to be reminded anymore. Rachel
P.S. Thanks for not giving me any advice. I still cant believe it. Kidding. Not really, but you know what I mean.
THE surprise of finding his ex-fianceacute;e and his mother in his flat was the icing on Flynns proverbial cake, and candidly, he could not eat another bite of that sodding cake. Hed been turned upside down, and he therefore endured the first night by actually speaking very little, drinking quite a lot, and lying on the couch with a bottle of lager in one hand, his arm slung over his eyes, silently bemoaning the fact that he did not possess a single set of ear plugs.
His mother was quite beside herself at his less than warm reception for Irisshe had chastised, pouted, then begun to harp, but Flynn was immune. He loved his mother, but he had no sympathy for her; hed been unfailingly honest with her on the phone, had told her more than once his feelings for Iris had changed, and not for the better. But his mother, God bless her, saw in Iris the perfect match for her eldest sonthe Willow-Throckmortons were also part of the fringe aristocracy.
As Flynn listened to his mother drone on about the Fall Flingaling, or whatever it was he had missed and thereby had embarrassed her for life, he couldnt help but think that he had, in a roundabout way, stumbled on Iriss motive for wanting him all along.
He had known, of course, that there wasnt a more blatant social climber from the beginning. But he supposed hed been rather numb to it, as his mother was the queen of social-climbing, whereas Iris was more a princess in training. As he listened to them talk about Buckingham and Alnwick, or where the Prime Ministers children were schooled (Iris brazenly informing them that the children she bore Flynn would also attend that school), at what charity event they had seen the Duchess of York (and what shed had to eat), he began to realize that the real reason she had flirted with him, then had engaged him, had not been because of some attraction to him . It had been to his mothers insistence that they were kin to the Duke of Alnwick.
It was all the two of them could talk about, and he wondered idly if it had always been this way, and if he hadnt really noticed until he came to America, where the lives of the aristocracy were not all-consuming to so many people.
And now it was quite clear why his mother was such a bloody fan of Iriss. They were cut from the same cloth, both of them wanting to latch on to something beyond their reach, and dear God, how close had he come to marrying a younger version of his mother?
An image of his father skipped across his minds eye, and in that image he saw himself, twenty years hence, a man silenced by years of shrill harping, reduced to glorified handyman while his wife flitted about, trying to gain entry to all of the events.
Come to think of it, now that he was arse over elbow after a few lagers, it was his mother who had balked at his wanting to become a homicide detective all those years ago. Jesus, that had been the only thing hed ever wanted, and hed gone along with all the high teas and polo matches theyd put him through. But when it came to his life, they had been adamantly opposed to anything as pedestrian as a mere police officer. The compromise had been his stint at Lloyds, which his father had helped him get.
Flynn could hardly grouse about his occupation. Over the years, he had become one of their best investigators, and he had been to some very posh locales, had rubbed elbows with some very posh and frightfully rich people, and moreover, some very exotic women. Lloyds had paid him handsomely for it, and he really had no right to complain, not at all, but lying there, listening to his mum, he felt a certain indignation. It wasnt right . They should have encouraged him to follow his dreams, not theirs.
Now, once again, his mum was pushing her will on him. She wanted him to marry Iris so that shed have yet another connection to some distant aristocratic line. Iris wanted to marry him for the same reason. Not because she loved him, as he had once so foolishly believed, but because she loved his income and his name. Christ, how very Jane Austen of her.
In all honesty, hed really known this deep in his gut since he first walked in on Iris and Paul. But now it had been birthed into the glaring light of day, bawling and wriggling around like a newborn infant. There was no avoiding itno matter how much Flynn would have liked to have stepped around it, perhaps tiptoed out and left it in another room, or just fled to another continent to avoid it altogether, he could not.
What tormented him was how he had come to believe he was in love with Iris to begin with. It wasnt that she hadnt been perfectly pleasantshed always been polite and very keen to make sure he knew what to wear to what event and who would be attending, and so forth, trying to be helpful. And while she wasnt an exciting lover, she had been a cooperative one for the most part.
Perhaps it was nothing more than that shed said the right things. The truth was that hed been quite ready to come home to a house with a wife and perhaps even children one day, and there had been times hed arrived in
Heathrow after one assignment or another feeling an impossible sadness as he looked around at all the anxious faces of people waiting for their loved ones. There hed walk through them, nothing but his briefcase and overcoat in hand, as they embraced and cried and laughed all around him. Perhaps shed filled that void in her own way, and hed begun to see in her an answer to a dilemma he really didnt know he had.
Whatever it was, it was over. Now he knew what love was, for he had fallen in love with Rachel, improbable though that may have been, and her absence in his life had created a hole in him, one that was growing wider each day that passed without her. Iris had never, not once, created a hole in him.
He was determined to fill his hole. But first, he had to rid himself of Iris once and for all, send his mum home where she belonged, and finish up the investigation into the RIHPS fraud (which was being helped along, interestingly enough, by Joe, who had taken a fancy to Dagne Delaney). And then he was going to check into a certain international exchange program Joe had mentioned.
So lying there that evening, listening to them prattle on about Fergie, he quietly put a plan into place.
The next day, Iris and Mum had rested up, and had gone out to do the requisite shopping. When they arrived late that afternoon, Flynn was waiting for them. He had catered in a lovely dinner and had bought copious amounts of liquor for whoever would need it. When the girls came in, they were extremely pleased with what they obviously thought was his attempt at reconciliation.
Darling, you shouldnt have! Iris exclaimed, air-kissing him again.
Oh, my lovely boy, how marvelous! Mum had cried, clapping. But I really must nosh up and run along.
Run along? Flynn asked.
Didnt I tell you? I took a room at the Hilton. I cant sleep very well here, you know, and I am quite desperate for a good nights sleep.
Righto. Nothing like a bit of a conjugal sleepover to patch it all up, eh, Mum? Thats really not necessary, he said calmly.
Oh darling, I insist, Mum said, checking her hair in a small mirror near the entry. Very well, then, shall I serve? Im really quite starved! she said brightly, and busied herself gathering plates.
The meal passed pleasantly enough, if one could tolerate a review of each shop in Providence and what they could find, or not find. Frankly, if one is to reside in America, it simply will not do to live anywhere but New York, Iris opined as she lit a cigarette.
Mmm, I would have to agree, Mum said.