Chapter Twenty-Six
Just after sunrise Bonnie pulled into the driveway lined with cactus and palm trees and cut the engine. She took the keys and her purse, the only things she had with her on her return trip home since she'd abandoned everything else at Rohn's house.
Her feet feeling as heavy as her spirit, she made her way through the back door. She found her mother in the kitchen making breakfast.
“Bonnie. You didn't tell me you were coming home today. You look exhausted.”
“I drove all night.” She grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and plopped down at the kitchen table, so overtired she couldn't move another step. She was lucky she hadn't been in a wreck feeling the way she was and driving all that way.
“Good God. That long drive, alone and in the dark? Why?”
Bonnie scrambled for an explanation other than the truthâthat she'd been running away from Rohn. “To avoid the traffic.”
“There's traffic on the interstate between Oklahoma and Arizona?”
“Sure. There can be.”
Her mother frowned. “I'd get you a cup of coffee but I think you need to go to bed, not have caffeine.”
“Yeah, I do.” As exhausted as she was, maybe she'd even be able to sleep without reliving that last conversation with Rohn over and over again in her head.
“When you get up later, you can tell me all about the trip.”
“We talked every day. What's there to tell?” Thank God she hadn't told her mother about Rohn, since that had imploded, just as she knew it would as soon as she told him the truth.
“Well, for one, you hadn't met with the real estate agent yet the last time we talked. What did they say about selling the house?”
Bonnie had failed on so many levels. She'd ditched the meeting with the real estate agent, instead leaving a message that the neighbors would have the key. She hadn't even finished clearing out the house. It looked much better than it had, but it wasn't empty. She hadn't done any repairs or updates to it, either. That would cost her whenâifâany offers came in.
But above all else, her biggest failure had to be how she'd messed up things with Rohn. Again.
She'd hurt him once twenty-five years ago and she'd managed to do it all over again. And this time, he'd surely hate her for it, now that he knew the truth.
It was all too much to deal with. Between lack of sleep, and the overt sadness pressing in around her, she was teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Bonnie pushed up from her seat. “I'm going to bed.”
Her mother lifted a brow. “I think that's a very good idea.”
At least they agreed on that point. If only Bonnie could hide away in bed forever.
She slept like the dead. It seemed even heartbreak couldn't keep her body awake after she'd pushed herself for twenty-four hours without sleep. The fading light of evening had already given way and night was creeping into her room when the sound of the doorbell broke through her slumber.
Swimming up from unconsciousness, she didn't think much about the noise, besides the fact it had disturbed her. She lay half awake, not inspired to get out from beneath the covers.
Then, she heard the familiar, deep tenor of a voice that had her sitting upright.
Rohn was in her house talking to her mother?
Bonnie flipped back the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the mattress. Her feet hit the carpeted floor. Not bothering with slippers or worrying about changing out of her oversize T-shirt and shorts, Bonnie trotted barefoot out of the bedroom and down the hall, skidding to a stop in the kitchen doorway.
There he stood, tall and strong and looking as amazing as ever. His steely gaze moved to her.
“Hey, Bonnie.” He didn't sound angry. He didn't look at her with hatred.
“Rohn.” Her heart pounded with hope she feared to feel. “Um, Mom, you remember Rohn Lerner, don't you? From Oklahoma. Dad had hired him that summer . . .”
All these years, she'd kept the identity of the baby's father a secret, even from her mother. Bonnie had never revealed that she'd dated Rohn. As far as her mother knew, Rohn was just the ranch hand.
That might change now though, judging by her mother's interested expression as her focus moved back and forth between Bonnie and Rohn.
“Yes, I do.” All her mother's unasked questions hung heavily in the air, but that and all else paled next to the fact that Rohn had come after her.
In spite of what she'd done, he'd still come after her. Could she be that lucky that he'd forgive her?
What she did know was that it was time for complete honesty. As both her mother and Rohn watched, she said, “Mom, I told Rohn about the baby.”
Her mother's eyes widened, before she hid the reaction. “Then you two probably want some privacy to talk. I'll leave you alone.”
“Thank you, ma'am.” Timeless, ageless, Rohn could have been eighteen again, standing in her mother's kitchen with his hat in his hand.
Bonnie's mother walked to her and enveloped her in a hug. When she pulled back, a small smile tipped up her lips. “I probably should have figured that out on my own back then, huh?”
“No. I took great pains to make sure you didn't.”
“That makes me feel slightly better that I'm not a complete failure as a mother.”
“You're not.”
With a small smile, her mother left her alone with Rohn. Bonnie was shaking as she reached for the kitchen chair. “Want to sit?”
“I've been sitting in the truck for the last fourteen hours so you'd think I'd say no, but I have a feeling I might want to be sitting for this conversation.” Rohn pulled out the chair opposite hers and sat.
He was here to talk. She owed him at least that much. “Ask me whatever you want and I'll answer.”
His brows rose. “A'ight. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?”
“I was going to tell you.”
Rohn's skepticism was clear in his expression. He'd believe her soon enough. She swallowed before she could continue.
“That last night we were together by the river I realized I was late. I took a pregnancy test.”
“And the test was positive. Obviously.” Rohn prompted her to continue as, lost in her memories, she'd paused.
“Yes. I figured in the morning, when you came to work, I'd try to get you alone and tell you. And if I couldn't get to you during the day, then I'd have to wait until we saw each other alone. But I never got the chance to see you again.”
“Why not?”
“I hid the used test in the trash can, buried under some other stuff. I thought no one would ever find it. But my father saw me doing it, and he found it.”
She should have hid it in her room. Or waited until her father had left to go somewhere and then put it in the neighbors' trash, because against all odds, her father chose that day to look out the window just as she was sneaking it into the trash.
“So he sent you away?”
“I wish that was what happened.”
Rohn reached out and took her hand in his. “Tell me.”
She forced herself to look at him, tears in her eyes. “I was so scared of what he'd do. Not just to me, but to you if he ever found out.”
His nostrils flared. “I could have taken care of myself, Bonnie. You should have told me.”
“You didn't know him. You didn't see him that night. He was crazy. He would have killed you. I'm sure of it. I was afraid he'd kill me. He beat me. I was so scared. He was so much stronger than me. I felt so vulnerable.” His fingers tightened around hers. She continued, “My mother was afraid he wasn't done. When he left, she put me on a bus to my grandmother's house that night.”
Things were better after Bonnie arrived in Phoenix. Her grandmother was like a fresh breeze in her life. A ray of sunshine cutting through the darkness of the past. She didn't judge her or lecture. She talked to her like an adult, and they'd made the decision about what to do together.
Then, amazingly, her mother had gotten herself out, legally. She joined them in Arizona and they lived together, three generations of women. Independent, with no need for a man in their life. Still, there wasn't a day that Bonnie didn't look over her shoulder, not believing her father would just let them both go. Not convinced, even after decades had passed, that he wouldn't come after her and finish the job he'd started so long ago.
“I do believe you. Christ, Bonnie, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me when you got to your grandmother's in Arizona, once you were safe? I would have gone over there andâ”
“That's why I didn't tell you. I had to protect you.”
Rohn let out a sigh. “Bonnie, your trying to protect me tore my heart out.”
“I know.” She stared at her hand in his, memorizing the feel of it since chances were good he'd pull away and she'd never feel his warmth again.
“And yesterday, you ran away from me again.”
“I know. I'm sorry.” It was pitiful that she had nothing else to say. Fleeing had become her go-to response after a lifetime of being afraid.
“Why? Your father's gone now. He can't hurt you anymore.”
“I figured you hated me for what I did. I thought it would be easier for everyone if I just left.”
He shook his head. “There's nothing easy about any of this.”
“No, I guess not.”
He rubbed his fingers over the top of her hand. “I don't hate you. I didn't then. I don't now.”
She nodded and tried to hold the tears in. He didn't hate her, but he hadn't said he still loved her, either.
“Tell me about her. Our daughter.”
“There's nothing to tell. They took her away as soon as she was born. I never even held her.” That revelation should be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.
“What about the family who adopted her?”
“I don't know anything about them.”
“Nothing?”
She realized it sounded as if she'd handed their baby over to strangers, when that hadn't been the case. “It was a closed adoption. The adopting family is checked out by the agency, but I never knew their names, and they didn't know mine.”
He sat quiet for a bit. “Maybe it's better that way.”
“Maybe.” Bonnie nodded. She braced herself and asked the question uppermost in her mind. The question she wasn't sure she could handle the answer to. “Can you ever forgive me?”
Rohn stood and pulled her into his arms. She held her breath waiting for the answer.
“I already have.”
“Really?” She pulled back to look up, and saw the truth in his eyes.
“Yes. With one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Anything?” He laughed. “Maybe I need to rethink this.”
“Rohn.” She sighed at his joking.
He grew serious again. “No more running away from me, Bonnie. You stay and we talk it out. No matter what it's about. Promise me that.”
“I promise.”
“There's something else we have to talk about.” He pulled back and dug into his pocket. Pulling out the ring box, he pinned her with his stare. “I want this ring to finally be on your finger. I want you in my life, as my wife.”
She looked from the ring to him. “You still want me?”
“Of course, I still want you. I love you. Is that so hard to believe?” Rohn stroked a finger down her cheek. “I see I'll have to work harder to convince you. And I'd like to do it with you as my fiancée. Say yes, Bonnie Blue.”
He held the ring up. She laughed through the tears. “Yes.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held tight enough to force the air from her lungs. “You know, we need to talk about how this is going to work.”
“Is that why you're squeezing me so tight?”
He laughed and loosened his grip, just a little. “I figured I'd make sure you couldn't run away again this time.”
“We agreed, no more running. Remember?”
“Yeah.” He hugged her close again. “What would you have done if I'd come after you then? Followed you here and demanded you tell me what was wrong twenty-five years ago?”
She shook her head where it was buried against his chest. “I honestly don't know.”
He sighed. “I guess it's time we stop looking backward.”
“I agree. We should only look forward from now on.”
“So, looking forward . . . what are we going to do? Because as much as I love you, I'm not going to be happy with us living in two different states for very long.”
“Um, hi. Not to interrupt, but I might have a solution to that.” Her mother's voice broke into the cocoon of Rohn's embrace.
“Mom?” Bonnie turned her head to see her mother hovering in the doorway.
“Sorry. I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear. I was just checking on you.”
Bonnie cocked a brow, not believing that. “Uh-huh.”
“Go on, Mrs. Martin. If you have an idea, I'd love to hear it.” Rohn kept one arm around Bonnie as he turned to address her mother.
“Well, I felt a little nostalgic while Bonnie was gone. I guess I was kind of homesick for Oklahoma, so I started looking up some old friends to see who was still in town. Turns out one of my best friends growing up is now the assistant principal at the school. She says they're looking to hire a middle school teacher.” Her mother's gaze moved to Bonnie. “She can set up an interview for you, if you want it.”
The idea of moving back to her hometown had Bonnie's heart rate speeding. In the past that reaction had been based on fear of her father. Now it stemmed from hope, thanks to Rohn.