Midnight Soul (22 page)

It was safe to say I had been far from kind
to her.

I had not at first because I didn’t wish her
with my brother. Not because she looked a mouse of a woman. Because
she behaved as one. I wanted him to have a strong mate by his side
who could help him endure the threat he lived under and get beyond
the suffering of his past. But also to bolster his tendency toward
leading with his heart, not thinking with his head, something in
our world, and especially in our House, that was considered a
weakness and thus preyed upon.

Though it was more.

She made my brother smile and laugh. She had
kind eyes. She spoke softly and didn’t hide her affection not only
for my brother, but her family, with whom she was close. She was
even demonstrative with her servants.

My parents could break Kristian.

If I had ever fallen and they’d turn to
Kristian and his own, they would have destroyed her.

I’d wanted to scare her away. When I’d failed
at that, I’d wanted her to develop a thick skin.

But now I’d done nothing but make her fear
and likely detest me.

In the few days I was sure they’d remain at
the palace, I could do nothing lasting about that, of this I was
relatively certain.

But that did not mean I shouldn’t try.

Well thought
, mon ange, Antoine said
in my head, and I very nearly tripped over my own slippers, his
voice was such a surprise as I hadn’t heard it in days.

I’d thought he was gone.

I’d even so far as
hoped
he was gone,
a hope that caused me guilt as well as angst.

“Brikitta,” I greeted, not quite warmly
because I did not yet have the skills to pull that off.

“Franka,” she replied stiltedly.

“And where is Timofei?” I asked, glancing
around as my brother rounded his wife to come toward me.

It was Kristian who answered me.

“Your nephew fell asleep in the sleigh right
before we arrived. He’s having a difficult time sleeping so we
didn’t want to rouse him. He’s under furs outside with his
nanny.”

I looked up at my brother, into kind blue
eyes that had never been anything but, even when they rested on
me.

“Brother,” I whispered.

“Sister,” he whispered back.

Bloody hell.

I was going to weep.

Right in the grand hall of the Winter Palace,
for the first time since I was a wee child,
I was going to
weep
.

My brother there, tall, handsome, healthy and
safe.

Me with him, perhaps not healthy, but also
safe.

Our ordeal over.

The relief of it all surged over me and I
didn’t know if I could withstand it.

I needed to escape.

Immediately.

Before I could do so, Kristian tore his glove
from his hand and lifted it.

Cupping my cheek, he moved close to me,
dipping his face to mine.

“Franka,” he said softly.

“I’m glad you’re well,” I forced out in a
voice that was not my own. It was hoarse and unpolished.

He continued to speak in his quiet voice as
if he only wished me to hear.

“It was bad.”

“It was,” I affirmed, wanting to touch him,
to pull him to me, to wrap my arms around him and have him wrap his
around me like we did when we were youngsters, before my mother and
father put a stop to it.

Now his voice was gruff. “Sister.”

“I endured,” I shared the obvious.

His eyes started to get bright with tears
when he replied, “You always did.”

I delicately cleared my throat and stepped
back far enough away from him so his hand dropped.

“You need to settle your family. Rest. Have
some luncheon. We’ll talk more when you’re revived from your
journey.”

I included Brikitta in this invitation and
noted she was staring at me like she’d never seen me, or indeed
anything like me before.

“Yes, Franka. Of course,” Kristian said.

“Ah, they’ve arrived. Excellent.” We heard
from behind us and we all turned to the voice to see Queen Aurora
moving our way.

Brikitta and I dropped into curtsies.
Kristian bowed.

“Rise, rise,” Aurora murmured. “Delighted you
made it safely, Kristian, Brikitta,” she stated, sweeping them with
her glance. “Your room awaits, one of the rooms with a nursery
attached. Thus Timofei’s cot also awaits.”

“Our gratitude, your grace,” Kristian
replied.

“Not at all,” she stated, turning and
motioning to a hovering footman. “See them to their rooms and
please see that their trunks are brought up and send a maid to
them.”

“Yes, your grace,” the footman replied, doing
a slight bow then extending a hand out to Kristian and
Brikkita.

“We’ll sit together later, yes?” Kristian
asked as he put his hand to his wife’s elbow.

“Of course,” I replied. “Pleased you’re all
here safe.”

Brikitta nodded and her eyes skittered away.
Kristian gave me a smile and then turned to Brikitta’s maid,
“Please would you see how Nanny’s faring with Tim?”

“Yes, Lord Kristian.”

She promptly made her way to the front
doors.

Kristian and Brikitta followed the
footman.

Aurora made her way to me.

“You’re well, Franka?” she asked.

“Very well, my queen,” I answered.

“Lovely,” she said and began moving away,
declaring, “Much looking forward to your lively discourse at
dinner.”

I stood still and stared after her.

Then I felt the mirth bubble up my throat and
only just managed to swallow it down.

I barely said anything at dinner. During the
first dinner I’d been commanded to attend once I was well enough to
do so, this was because I had no intention to. Last night it was
because the conversation was so fast and furious between the men
and women, I couldn’t get a word in.

I had a feeling that was my queen’s subtle
way of telling me to fit my words in.

She really shouldn’t press for that. There
was much surprising me recently and most of it had to do with my
own behavior.

Therefore even I didn’t know what would
happen.

* * * * *

It was surprisingly not me who caused a stir
at dinner that evening.

It was my always mild-mannered brother.

This happened promptly after I informed him,
once he and his family left the Winter Palace, I was journeying
with Josette and our new acquisition across the Green Sea.

He was my dinner partner, sitting to my
right, and I thought we had a cocoon of privacy thus it was safe to
share this information without others inputting their opinions.

Until he shouted, “
Have you gone
mad?
”

“Kristian,” I murmured, shocked at his
reaction, including the sheer volume of it, and acutely aware of
all eyes coming to us, particularly Noc’s, who was sitting directly
across the table from me, his dinner partner Brikitta.

“The very idea is daft, Franka,” my brother
bit out (still loudly). “I’ll not allow it.”

My surprise faded and I felt my jaw
tighten.

He’d not allow it?

Kristian
would not allow me to do
something I wished to do?

It was not I who had gone mad. It was
him.

No. That was inaccurate.

The entire world had gone mad all around me,
taking me with it.

My parents were imprisoned, never to breathe
free again.

I was being kind to my maid, asking her to
call me my given name and calling upon her to make decisions on
matters of great import, like who was going to attend
my
person
and
my clothing
and
my bedchamber
.

I was allowing Noc to interfere in my life at
any given moment, these moments chosen by
him
.

My cousin Frey
liked
me. His wife also
liked me. Further, their
friends
liked me.

Those friends, the female
and
male
ones, had accompanied me on a trying engagement simply in order to
be near should I become upset.

My dead lover’s voice sounded in my head.

The queen of the entire bloody country had
spoken to me like she was my nanny and later
teased
me like
I was a fond friend of her daughter’s she’d known since they were
in the schoolroom.

And worst of all, it seemed I had no control,
not a whit, over
any of it
.

“What’s this?” Aurora queried.

I opened my mouth to intervene in hopes I
could get my brother to remain silent, but he spoke before I could
make a sound.

“My sister wishes to journey across the Green
Sea,” he declared. “She intends to leave right after Brikitta and I
depart for home, your grace.”

Queen Aurora assumed a severe expression.
“Franka, is this true?”

I clenched my teeth, managed not to grind
them and turned my torso to face the head of the table.

“Yes, my queen.”

“She won’t be doing it,” Kristian railed on,
looking from Aurora to me. “If you don’t wish to return to your
apartments after you’ve lost Antoine, which his understandable,
Sister, then you’ll travel back with Brikitta and me. You can stay
with us until you’ve made a
sane
decision about where you
wish to go next. Hell, you can stay with us for good, as far as I
care. The house is big enough and I know you like it, no matter
what you’ve said.”

Brikitta made a noise during my brother’s
latest that I deciphered as fear and panic, and I found myself
intervening not only on my behalf but on hers as well.

“Brother, you know that’s not a good idea.
I’m much better living on my own,” I replied swiftly, wishing I
didn’t have to and further wishing that such private matters
weren’t being shared in public.

But again having no choice.

“You’ll turn over a new leaf,” he sniffed,
looking to his consommé and dipping his spoon into it, stating,
“And that’s a matter sorted.”

“It is not,” I retorted, doing my all to keep
the snap out of my voice and not exactly succeeding. “I’m quite
keen on my plan and have no intention to alter it.”

Kristian rudely dropped his spoon in his
consommé and turned back to me. “I believe you’ll change your mind
when the pirates board your vessel.”

“No pirates will board the vessel,” I
scoffed.

“Tell that to the many sailors who never
returned, who likely felt the same
before the pirates boarded
their vessels
,” Kristian retorted.

“Merchants make that journey often,” I
replied.

“Merchants
try
to make that journey
often,” Kristian responded and didn’t allow me time to counter. He
looked to Frey. “What say you, Drakkar? How many go and how many
come back?”

Frey was looking amused, which I was certain
made me look annoyed since I felt that but didn’t feel like hiding
it, as he answered, “I’d like to say the stakes are fifty-fifty.
But I’d wager it’s more like thirty-seventy.”

I blew out an exasperated breath before I
asked my cousin, “Have you been across those waters?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“How many times?” I inquired.

“Twice,” he stated.

I sat back in my chair smugly. “Then I’d say
the stakes are far better than thirty-seventy, surely.”

“I’m a good seaman,” Frey retorted. “I’m
handy with a variety of blades. Not to mention bows. My men are
arguably better than me…at both. My ship is fast. And I have less
scruples than a pirate when it comes to saving my men and my
necks.” His lips formed a slow, superior grin. “Oh, and there’s the
small fact I command dragons.”

I huffed and took up my spoon, requesting,
“Can we please move on from this topic? I’m sure we all agree it’s
no one’s business but my own.”

“My sister taking, at
best
, a fifty
percent chance with her life to cross an expanse of water only to
perhaps best that challenge, if she’s fortunate, to arrive in lands
most of us know nothing about?” Kristian asked, his tone dripping
in disbelief. “I think it’s anyone’s duty to talk her out of such
foolhardiness.”

I didn’t even attempt to keep the snap out of
my, “It’s
not
foolhardy.”

“It is,” Kristian returned heatedly. “Sheer
folly. And reckless. And, frankly, absurd.”

It was me who rudely dropped my spoon in my
consommé as my voice rose when I demanded, “How dare you!”

“I dare very easily when I’ve finally gotten
my sister back only for her to decide to do something rash and
idiotic that might make me lose her again,” he replied.

I snapped my mouth shut as my throat
completely closed at his words in a way it was a miracle I didn’t
immediately start gasping for air.

“You’re going to come home with us,” Kristian
decided. “You’re going to get to know my wife and my son and the
child my wife now carries once he or she comes,” he went on and my
gaze flew to Brikitta who was now blushing.

But my brother had not finished.

“And if you don’t, you’ll be somewhere near,
the furthest away Fleuridia, so you can visit us or we can visit
you. I’ll hear no more talk about your ridiculous impulses. In
fact, I’m determined you return with us. It’s clear with all you’ve
endured recently your mind isn’t right and you need time to get it
right again.”

I had many cutting retorts on the tip of my
tongue.

But the new Franka turned her gaze to her
sister-in-law and inquired, “You’re with child?”

“I…” more blushing from Brikitta, “yes.”

“I’m pleased for you, sister. Very.”

Her eyes grew large.

“As for you,” I looked back to my brother,
“we’ll finish this discussion later.”

“We won’t, for the discussion is already
finished,” he decreed.

“It is not.”

“It is.”

“It is
not
.”

“It is
so
.”

“Not!” I cried.