Microsoft Word - Cinder-Marie_Sexton.doc (8 page)

It was true. It made me sick to my stomach to admit it, but she was right. Unless…

"He might not send me away."

She laughed, and if I'd thought her smile was cruel, her laughter was worse. "When he learns you've allowed this to go on as long as it has, do you think you'll still have his favor?"

It was a good question. Would I? Or would he

blame me for not telling him sooner?

"Do you honestly think you can fool him forever?" I asked.

"I don't need to fool him forever. We'll be married in eight days. After that, it'll be too late." She leaned back
74

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

in her seat. She crossed her arms. She looked smug. She looked like she'd won.

Of course, she had. I hated it, but she had a point. I hung my head in defeat.

She knocked on the side of the carriage, and it

slowed to a stop.

"Get out of my carriage,
Cinder
," she said. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll keep your secrets to yourself."

* * * *

The rest of the afternoon was miserable. It was

blistering hot. We were plagued by flies. By the time we reached the inn, I was sweaty, stinky, and sunburned. Even the scene with Jessalyn paled when I thought about the bliss of a home-cooked meal and a night in a soft bed.

If it was hot outside, I could only imagine how

stifling it had been inside the carriage. I was happy to see that even Jessalyn couldn't emerge unscathed. Her dress was damp and wrinkled. She was sullen and cranky. And she smelled no better than I.

Xavier greeted us at the door. He'd had dinner laid out in a private room near the back.

"I brought champagne," he said, pouring not two, 75

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

but three glasses. "It's perfectly chilled." He held a glass out to her. "It will refresh you."

"Thank you, my Prince," Jessalyn said as she reached for the glass.

Xavier teasingly pulled it out of her reach. "Do you intend to curtsy like a proper lady?" he asked.

Jessalyn actually blushed up to her sweaty hairline.

"My apologies, Highness," she said, as she bent her knee.

"Please forgive my oversight."

The surprise on Xavier's face might have made me

laugh any other time, but this time, it only served to remind me that keeping Jessalyn's secret was in my own best interest.

"I think the prince was joking, my lady," I said.

"Of course," Xavier said, taking her hand and pulling her upright. "But I shouldn't have. After such a long day, it was in terrible taste."

She smiled sweetly at him as she took the

champagne from him. "Thank you." He watched her expectantly as she took a small sip. She seemed to realize he was anticipating some kind of reaction from her, but she obviously didn't know what. She smiled uncertainly at him.

"It's interesting," she said. "I've never tasted anything like it."

He was clearly disappointed, but he didn't say

76

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

anything. He took the second glass from the table and offered it to me. "Have some, Eldon," he said. "I'm sure you could use a drink, as well."

I took a sip, and I discovered why he'd watched

Jessalyn's reaction so attentively. It was the same champagne he'd served to me at the ball. I was immediately transported back to that night by the bright, bubbly sensation of sunlight on my tongue, and I did as I'd done then—I tilted my head back and drank it all at once.

"It's delicious!" I said as I handed him my empty glass.

He laughed. "I'm glad somebody appreciates it." I didn't miss the scowl this elicited from my cousin, but the prince didn't seem to notice. "Would you like more?" he asked me.

"No," Jessalyn said, answering for me. "Cinder needs to help me freshen up for dinner."

I did as instructed. After that, I rushed around while she dined with the prince. I tried to help the guardsmen with the luggage Xavier and Jess needed. I tried to swallow a few bites of dinner for myself. I had to constantly rush to the dining room to attend to Jessalyn, who couldn't seem to let a moment pass without reminding the prince and me both of my true station.

Through it all, I watched the prince's puzzlement 77

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

grow. I saw the way he watched her, and the way he began to grow distant as she prattled on, alternately flattering him and assuring him what a wonderful wife she'd be.

Finally, the meal ended, and Jessalyn excused

herself for the night. Xavier stood and kissed her hand.

Then, as she made her way to the door, he turned to me.

"Sit with me, Eldon," he said. "Help me finish this champagne."

His invitation made me smile. "I'd love to," I said, sitting down across from him in the chair my cousin had vacated.

But of course, Jessalyn couldn't bear to leave me with him. "I'm afraid I need Cinder with me."

"I thought you were going to bed," Xavier said, raising his eyebrows at her. "Certainly you don't require Eldon's assistance there?"

The suggestion caused Jess and me both to blush.

"Of course not," Jessalyn said. "But I want to take a bath first. I need Cinder to haul up the water."

Xavier smiled indulgently at her. "I'm sure someone from the inn can assist you?"

She put her shoulders back and flipped her hair

back in defiance. "I won't allow strangers into my room."

I watched Xavier. I watched the way his smile

faded. I knew he was debating whether to give in or not.

78

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

"Sire?" I was sitting directly across from him. By turning farther toward him, putting my back to Jessalyn, I was able to grant us the illusion of privacy. I pitched my voice low, hoping she wouldn't be able to hear. "I'll find you later."

The smile that bloomed on his face was broad and

beautiful. "I'd like that," he said, matching my hushed tone.

What I saw in his eyes as he said it made the color rise on my cheeks. It made my heart leap inside my chest. It wasn't romantic, or suggestive. It was simply the sincerity of his desire to see me, and to spend time with me. It made me ache in a way that was both exhilarating and heartbreaking.

He was the wind, and I would take whatever little bit of him I could reach.

* * * *

"Who do you think you are?" Jessalyn raged at me, once we were alone in her room. "Drinking champagne with him! Sitting at the table as if you were equals!"

"He invited me."

"It's pathetic!" she practically spat the word at me.

"Here on the road, where there are only guards around, he may treat you like a friend, but once we're at the palace, he'll forget you. And then I'll send you home."

79

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

Her words stung, because there was a chance she

was right. At the palace, he probably had other friends—

men who really were his equal in every way. But there was no point in worrying about it, and there was even less point in arguing.

I ignored everything she said after that. I kept my head down and I did my job. She railed on, throwing barbs at me, telling me I was a fool, telling me I was nothing. I didn't say a word, and eventually she gave up on goading me.

When the bath was done and I'd hauled away the

tub, I bid her good night and turned to leave.

"I didn't say you could go. I won't have you running off to tell the prince lies about me."

My grip on the doorknob tightened. My knuckles

were white. "I know where I stand," I said through clenched teeth. "You made things quite clear today in the carriage."

"I still don't trust you."

"There doesn't seem to be much I can do about that."

"I could order you to stay."

My patience was at an end. Yes, I worked for her, but she didn't own me. I turned to face her. "I'm leaving," I said. "Go ahead and yell. Go ahead and scream. Let the
80

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

whole damn inn hear you rage. Do you really think that will help? Do you think the prince will think better of you when you're done?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came

out. It seemed I'd finally struck her speechless. I did my best not to gloat as I let myself out the door.

I stood outside his door for a long time, trying to will my heart to stop racing. Trying to work up enough courage to knock.

Just as I was raising my hand, the door opened.

"Eldon, what are you doing standing out here in the hallway? Come in, for heaven's sake!" He took my hand and pulled me inside, closing the door behind me. "I'm afraid I finished the champagne without you. Rude, I know, but it seemed the best way to kill the time."

"It's fine," I said. "I'm not really used to drinking anyway."

"Did she finally let you go?"

Not exactly, but it didn't seem worthwhile to go into it. "I think she's gone to bed."

He shook his head. He looked sideways at me, as if he were afraid of what he might see. "Do you think I'm crazy?" he asked.

81

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

"Why would I think that?"

"For marrying her?"

"Not crazy," I said. "Just…" I wasn't really sure how to finish my sentence. Misled? Taken by his faithful dog to the right house, but the wrong woman?

"Yes?" he prodded teasingly. "Go on. Tell me what you think."

What exactly could I say? "I think whatever

happened at the ball must have made quite an impression."

He smiled. He still wasn't looking at me, but I could see his face and the fondness in his eyes as he thought back on it. "I wish I could tell you about that night and have you understand."

Of course I already knew all about that night, but the idea of hearing it from his perspective intrigued me.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"It's only that it seems so crazy. It was…" He shook his head. "It was like magic."

I found myself smiling. "You don't believe in magic."

He laughed grudgingly. "I know." He pushed his hair back from his forehead and sighed. "But there was something about her. Something so
familiar
. Like I already knew her."

His words seemed to warm me from the inside. It

82

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

had
been magical.

"I kissed her." He glanced at me sideways, as if he expected me to disapprove.

"And?"

"I can't describe it. It was like coming home. It was…"

His words trailed away, and I knew he was lost in the memory of that night. I remembered it, too. I remembered the taste of him, the feel of his lips on mine, the tightness of his arms around me, the soft moan he'd made as we'd kissed. "It was amazing."

He looked over at me in surprise, and I felt myself blush.

"It was." He sighed again as he turned away. He reached into his satchel and pulled something out. I couldn't see what it was until he turned around again. It was the shoe.

"I was ecstatic when I found this," he said quietly.

"Between it and Milton, I had a way to find her."

At the sound of his name, Milton rose from his

place by the fire. He padded over to his master, his tail wagging.

Xavier held the shoe down to him. "Milton, find."

Milton took the shoe in his mouth. He turned

around. He walked over to me and dropped the shoe at my 83

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

feet. He turned and looked at Xavier expectantly.

Xavier was watching Milton with obvious

confusion.

"Maybe he's not such a good tracker after all."

"Well," I said shakily, "he led you to our house."

"To your marriageable cousin." His tone was lighthearted, and yet I knew it pained him.

"You don't want to marry her?"

"I want to marry the girl I danced with." He shook his head again. "The girl I kissed."

"You don't believe Jessalyn is that girl?"

He moaned in frustration. "I don't know. I suppose she must be. Milton led me to her. She's the right height.

Her hair is as I remember. Her face… Well, the lighting in the ballroom was poor, and I'd already danced with more than a dozen girls, and I'll admit I'd had a glass or two of champagne. It
must
be her. And yet…"

"And yet?" I prodded, when I realized he didn't intend to go on.

"I thought that when I saw her, it would be as magical as it was at the ball. That I'd recognize her immediately, like being struck by lightning."

"But it wasn't."

"Not even close."

He sat down on the one chair in the room, his

84

Cinder

Marie

Sexton

elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I'd never seen him look so beaten.

I had to tell him the truth. Whatever Jessalyn had said to me in the carriage was irrelevant. I couldn't lie to him any longer. I was terrified—my heart hammered painfully inside my chest, and my palms began to sweat—

but I knew it was the right thing to do.

"Sire?" My voice shook. "What if I told you that you're right? That Jessalyn isn't the right girl."

He looked up at me, his eyes bright with hope.

"You know who she is?"

I do.
That's what I tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out. He was watching me expectantly, and I forced myself to nod.

"Go on."

"This will sound crazy, but—"

"For heaven's sake, Eldon! Tell me!"

I took a deep breath and said, "It was me. I traded the fish you left me to the witch, and she turned me into a girl for one night so I'd have a chance to say goodbye."

My words seemed to echo in the silence. He was

looking right at me, and I saw the series of emotions cross his face—surprise, and then confusion, and then his eyes hardened in a way I'd never seen before. "I suppose you think that's funny," he said as he stood up and turned away 85