“Oh shut up… I warned you it was
long and boring!” I retorted. Then without thinking I leaned over and brushed
back a strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. He caught my
hand as I tried to pull it back and pressed my fingertips to his lips.
“Come to my bed with me,
Scarlett?” his eyes pleaded with mine.
“Excuse me? Are you crazy?” I
blurted out. Did I hear him correctly? Was he really asking me to have sex with
him? And why was I actually considering it?
“No, no… not like that. I promise
it won’t be like that,” he said running his fingers through his thick wavy hair
in frustration. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”
He looked at me and said
earnestly, “I’m going to be blunt with you, Scarlett. I’m not sure what it is
about you, but from the moment I saw you in the living room earlier tonight, I can’t
get you out of my head.” He paused as he searched for what he wanted to say. “I
don’t even know how to explain it; I’m pretty sure you feel something between
us too, at least I hope you do. I just want to talk to you, get to know you.
Look, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to touch you, to hold you close to
me, but I’m not going to take advantage of you. I swear. I just want to lie
down and be comfortable
;
we can stay on top the
covers, draw a line down the middle of the bed… whatever. I just want to get as
much of you as I can before you go home tomorrow so that maybe I can figure out
what the hell it is you are doing to me.” He smiled, using those dimples to
charm me. As if that was necessary. In my mind, I was already lying naked in
his bed. “I know this sounds crazy, but please, come to my room with me?”
I was dumbfounded; I didn’t
believe this kind of thing happened in real life. I never in a million years
thought someone who looked like Ash would be saying those words to me hours
after meeting, much less on my first night of my free life. It was like I was
dreaming. There was never any chance I was going to say no to him and I was
pretty sure he knew it too. “Well since you said please…” I stood up and
grabbed his hand and allowed him to lead me down the hall and into his room.
Ash’s bedroom looked pretty much
like I expected a college-aged guy’s room to look. There was a full-sized bed
that I was surprised to find neatly made with solid grey linens, a large wooden
dresser that donned a framed picture of Ash with an older couple who I assumed
were his parents, and a desk that held his laptop and textbooks. It was tidier
than I had anticipated; there weren’t any stray clothes or shoes lying around.
Thick light-blocking curtains hung over the one window in the room, but the
walls were bare of any art or other decoration.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been
standing there studying his room when I realized Ash was watching me. Not
letting go of his hand, I turned to face him and was greeted by his devilish
grin.
“Does it pass your inspection?” he
teased. I looked at his mouth as he talked and unconsciously licked my lips,
yearning to know how his mouth would feel against mine. He then moved his gaze
to my mouth and cocked his eyebrows at me and smirked.
I could feel the warmth of the
blush creep across my face and neck, mortified that I had not only been caught
scrutinizing his personal living space but at my body’s obvious physical
reaction to his proximity. I nodded and then lost the battle to contain my
nervous giggles.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I replied, not wanting
to admit to him the reason I was so thoroughly inspecting his room was because
this was the first time I had ever been in a guy’s room.
“Nothing, huh?”
The next thing I knew, I was lying
flat on my back in the center of Ash’s bed and he was tickling me relentlessly.
I desperately tried to escape his assault, but my legs were trapped between his
and he had both of my arms pinned above my head with one of his hands.
“I am not going to stop until you
tell me why you think my room is so funny,” he said as he continued to torment
me with his free hand.
“Okay, okay,” I managed to say
when I finally stopped laughing long enough to catch my breath.
Ash stopped tickling me at my surrender
but kept my body restrained under his. His mesmerizing eyes penetrated mine as
he waited for my answer. For the first time I noticed a light sprinkle of
freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. Dimples and freckles… my two
weaknesses - I was starting to wonder if he wasn’t made just for me. He was
close enough that his scent, a mixture of clean refreshing soap and minty fresh
toothpaste, flooded my nostrils and I clenched my legs together hoping to
relieve the growing ache in my sex. His nearness made me lose complete control
of my thoughts and physical reactions.
“I wasn’t laughing at your room,”
I admitted. “I wasn’t really laughing at anything. It just struck me as comical
that here I am, eighteen years old, starting college in a couple of days, and
this is the first guy’s room I’ve ever been inside except for my brother’s.
You’ve probably had more girls in here than… well, I don’t have any idea how
many, but…” I turned my head away from him humiliated again at my inexperience.
“Hey, please don’t turn away from
me,” Ash said softly as he used his hand to turn my chin so I was looking in
his eyes once again. I willed my tears back as they threatened to pool in my
eyes; I was NOT going to cry. What in the hell was wrong with me? I went from laughing
hysterically one minute to crying the next.
“There’s no reason for you to be
embarrassed,” he continued. His hand moved from beneath my chin to my cheek
where he gently stroked back and forth with his thumb.
“You are breathtakingly beautiful,
incredibly talented, obviously intelligent, and when I look into your eyes I
see the most pure, untainted soul of anyone I have ever met. Your innocence and
inexperience only increases your sexiness and sensuality. You, Scarlett
Alexandria
MacGregor
, truly are an enigma.”
The thumb that had been caressing
my cheek moved to my bottom lip and I instinctively opened my mouth. I flicked
my tongue over the tip of his thumb, tasting his sweet flesh, before drawing it
into my mouth and sucking on it. Ash inhaled deeply and his eyes darkened to a
stormy blue. He broke our stare and shifted his desire-filled gaze to my mouth,
watching me provocatively play with his thumb ~ licking, sucking, biting.
Without removing his hand from my
mouth, Ash leaned his face to mine and seared my lips with his. His lips were
neither soft nor rough, they were just perfect,
there
was no other way to describe it. Our lips fit together as if they were made for
one another, our tongues danced as if they had been partners for years. For
what seemed like forever, we kissed and licked and nipped at each other’s
mouths, exploring and
devouring .
His hands tangled in
my dark hair and every so often he would lightly tug on it, forcing me to tilt
my head back so he could kiss across my jawline and down my neck. He pulled my
hair with more force and I experienced a stimulating mixture of pain and
pleasure, which caused a moan to escape from the back of my throat. I hadn’t
been kissed many times in my life, but I knew instantly that nothing would ever
compare to this first kiss that I shared with Ash.
Disappointment washed over me as I
felt him withdraw from my mouth. He rolled over so he was no longer on top of
me but instead sitting next to me on the bed. Immediately, my body craved to be
pressed up against his again.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he ran his
hands through his hair. I noticed he did that often when he was either
frustrated or at a loss for words.
“I swore that I wouldn’t do that,
and look at me - we haven’t even been in here ten minutes and I’m already
breaking that promise.” He looked over at me guiltily.
“It’s okay. Please don’t say
you’re sorry,” I confessed with a sheepish smile. “It’s not like I wasn’t a
willing participant. I wanted that as much as you did.” Probably even more so,
but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
“Come over here,” he said,
returning my smile as he pulled me into his arms. “Let’s lay down. It’s after
4:00 in the morning and I’m keeping you from getting any sleep. We will have
other nights to talk.”
He positioned us so that we were
in the spooning position, my back tucked up snugly against his chest and his
right arm draped across my middle. He peppered kisses up and down my neck, from
my earlobe to my shoulder and then back again. I forced myself to stop
overanalyzing the situation, overwhelmed at the onslaught of emotions, and
enjoyed the moment for what it was.
“So soft, so sweet.
My little butterfly.
My beautiful Psyche.” Ash murmured as
he nuzzled his face in the nape of my neck. I had found heaven. I didn’t really
know what he was talking about or what he had called me, but nothing could ruin
my perfect night. That was the last thought I remembered having before I
drifted into a blissful sleep.
I woke up the following morning
feeling happier than I could remember being ~ ever. Ash’s arms were still
tightly wrapped around my waist, our legs tangled together, and I could feel
his morning-induced erection pressed against my back. I rolled over so that I
was facing him, hoping he stayed in his vulnerable state of sleep so that I
could better study him, but his eyes were wide open and a smile tugged at the
corners of his lips when I looked at him.
“Good afternoon, butterfly,” he
whispered, brushing my hair back from my face.
“Good afternoon?” I asked still ignoring
the nickname.
“Yeah, it’s a little after 2:00. I
didn’t want to wake you. You looked so comfortable, so peaceful.”
“
Mmmm
…
thank you. I did sleep quite well.”
I scooted closer to him and rested
my cheek on his chest. Ash held me securely against his body and kissed the top
of my head. I felt him take a deep breath as if he was gathering the courage to
say something, but he remained silent. We lay like that for several minutes, as
if we were both committing the moment to memory, never wanting to forget the
night we had spent together.
“What is it Ash?” I asked quietly.
“I know you want to say something, and from your hesitation, I’m guessing it’s
not something I want to hear.”
His body tensed at my words and I
pulled away from him slightly so I could look up to his face. His jaw pulsed as
he clenched his teeth. I touched his face, much like he had done to me the
night before, rubbing my fingers delicately across his cheeks, hoping to relax
his uneasiness.
“Scarlett, I… we…” he stammered,
still unable to get the words out.
“Just say it, Ash,” I demanded.
“We can’t do this… I can’t do this
with you,” he began as my stomach tightened. “As much as I would love to, I
just can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
I gave him a puzzled look not
understanding what had happened, what had gone wrong.
“Look Scarlett, you are about to
go through this crucial transition in your life, changing from the sheltered
girl you were under your parents control, to a beautiful young woman that’s
ready to spread her wings and fly. Because you haven’t experienced many of the
things that most people our age have, you, more than anyone, need this time to
find out who you are and what you want. What you don’t need is me around to
complicate things,” he explained.
“Why do you think you would
complicate things?” I interrupted. I could feel the lump forming in my throat
and despite my attempt to refrain from crying, tears trickled down my cheeks.
“Because I know me,” he said
truthfully, wiping away my tears. “I’m not boyfriend material, Scarlett. That’s
just not who I am right now. I would end up hurting you or holding you back,
and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I did either of those things to
you. I meant the things I said to you last night, more than you can ever know.
You are, by far, the most incredible person I have ever met and I haven’t even
known you 24 hours. I can’t even put into words how in awe I am of you.”
He continued, “I would love to say
‘Let’s be friends,’ but if I’m being completely honest, I know that there’s no
way that I can be around you and not want to touch you… to hold you… to keep
you as mine. And that’s not fair to either of us.”
Not knowing what to say, I just
nodded my head and buried my face back into his chest. I truly believed that
Ash thought he was doing the best thing for me because he sincerely wanted me
to be happy. I felt silly for crying over someone I had known less than a day,
I mean how emotionally attached could I have been? But the hurt was there
nonetheless.
Drawing away from his chest, I
looked into his eyes. He tenderly caressed my face and then cupped the back of
my head and pulled my mouth to his. For one last time, we succumbed to the
undeniable magnetism between the two of us. My first goodbye kiss was
bittersweet in every sense of the word ~ a moment in time I would never ever
forget.
“Goodbye, my sweet butterfly,” he
whispered into my hair as he held me in a final embrace.
When I finally left Ash’s room, I
found
Evie
in the living room curled up on the couch,
engrossed in her e-reader. She looked up as I walked in the room and cocked her
eyebrows at me inquisitively.