Authors: Amy Johnson
“Mrs. J.,
m
aybe you should take him these brownies. You know comfort food?”
“No!” Megan growled holding the pan close to her.
“Yes!” Josie said prying it away from her and handing it to her mother.
“Josie dear, I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”
“Mrs. J., there are more at home and Ted might need comfort during the night. He should have them
,
really.”
Her mother looked at Megan and then Josie and after a moment said, “O
K
. I guess so.” And she took them to Ted.
“Hey! Those were my damn brownies.”
“Trust me
,
you don’t want to eat those.”
“Yes
,
I did.” Megan caught Josie’s expression and then said, “What did you do?”
“You’ll love this
,
” Josie sat down on the bed and smiled with excitement. O
K
, remember how you said I could spit in them? Well I figured I do one better so I looked in your medicine cabinet and found a box of ex-lax and I melted it and threw it in the mix.” Megan groaned
.
Josie said, “Wait
,
it gets better. So when I took the ex-lax out of the microwave I spilled it on my shirt so I went to the pantry to get some stain guard and that’s when I found the pot.”
“What pot?”
“Ted’s pot, from the basement?” Megan remembered she’d hid it in the pantry where Ted would never find it but she’d forgotten to flush it.
“I really don’t want to hear this, do I?”
“Of course you do. So anyway I had the pot and I was smelling it and feeling it.” Megan gave her a stern look and Josie said, “I was curious Okay! And anyways I heard your mom coming in the door so I dumped the bag in the brownie mix. Then your mom came up and told me I was over stirring it and she put the mix in the pan and finished them. Lucky for Ted, the Ex-lax will help with the marble.”
Lucky for Ted, Megan thought. Leave it to Josie to think of it that way.
“Oh my God
,
” Megan said rubbing her face with her hands. “I am a terrible person. There is probably a special place for
me in
Hell. My life is such a mess.”
“Oh Meg, you aren’t a terrible person. I’ve done far worse
,
” Josie said
.
Megan said, “I don’t want to know about it. I’m corrupt enough all by myself.”
The door opened and Megan’s dad walked in. “I would have been here sooner but I was busy with the cops.” He rubbed his daughter’s cheek and kissed her forehead.
“The cops?” Megan and Josie both shouted.
“Well the EMT’s called them in because they thought it was a domestic dispute but they couldn’t figure out if Ted knocked you out or if you dropped the marbles for Ted and then knocked yourself out trying to run away. Your Mom rode with Ted in the ambulance so I didn’t really know what happened but I did tell them that you’ve been known to knock yourself out on occasion. I think they thought we were all out of our minds and then they smelled the Marijuana.”
“Oh shit!” Josie said and looked at her watch. “Gee look at the time I’d better…”
“Sit down Josephine, before I call your father.”
“Yes Mr. J.” Josie sat back down as Megan’s father continued.
“So we looked around and we couldn’t find the dope and…”
“Because Mrs. J. brought it with her to the hospital
,
” Josie said, and Megan’s father sat down and popped a Rolaid in his mouth.
“Spill it girls
,
”
h
e said.
So Megan and Josie explained everything from dressing Megan up for passion to when she got knocked out with the door. Her dad let out a long sigh, then crossed himself and Megan felt like hell for driving her dad to religion.
“So the marbles were an accident?”
h
e asked his daughter. She nodded.
“I swear
,
Daddy.”
“And Ted’s cheating for sure?”
“Yes
,
Daddy.”
“And the dope wasn’t yours?”
“No
,
Daddy.”
“Okay. Well I’d go up there and kick Ted’s ass but he kind of did that himself, so I guess I’ll go home and watch the game. You call me if you need anything Meg.” He rose to go then stopped at the door and turned, “Meg, tell your mother nothing.” Megan nodded and he added, “Because if you do she’ll probably erect a cross in the front yard and invite the whole town over to pray and then I’ll have to move in with you.”
***
Megan and Josie made it home about noon. Megan was dead on her feet and Josie had a date with Dr. Rogers to rest up for so they decided to go in take a nap and try to meet the girls at the usual place at five. They were just about to climb the stairs when the
doorbell
rang. Josie answered the door and hollered for Megan. The cops. The pot. The domestic disturbance. Megan calculated her chances of escape and decided that with her luck she’d probably forget to open the door, run into it and knock herself out again. They’d take her back to the hospital and Ted was there. She’d take her chances with the cops. How bad could prison be? But when she reached the foyer, there were no cops there, just Tom. Looking as exotic and magnificent as ever.
“Hello Tom
,
”
s
he said and he looked at her face and frowned.
“Mrs. Malone.” He stood on the porch for a minute until Megan’s manners kicked in and she invited him in.
“So this is Tom
,
huh?” Josie said nudging Megan who then handled the introductions. “I must say Tom, you are sexy as hell
,
” Josie said and Megan bumped her with her hip hard enough to make Josie stumble.
“What brings you here?” Megan asked Tom.
“Well I called earlier to make sure you were feeling better and to let you know the ER bill was taken care of but your Mother said you were in the hospital. So I went there and they said you were released.”
“Oh yes, I uh had an accident. I’m fine though, really.” He didn’t look convinced.
“Megan.” His eyes softened and Megan had to avert her eyes from his gaze, “Who did this to you? Was it your husband? Because if it was…”
“Oh no, Ted didn’t do anything
.
”
E
xcept cheat and yell. “Really it was an accident.” Tom still didn’t look convinced and Megan wondered just exactly how bad she looked. She hadn’t even thought about a mirror.
“She knocked herself out again
,
” Josie blurted
.
Megan narrowed her eyes at her and said, “I did not. You and Mom knocked me out.”
“Well it was your fault for being dumb enough to stand behind a door.”
“You’re talking to me about dumb? This coming from the cleavage queen with a pea size brain and a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon
,
” Megan snapped.
“At least I have cleavage
,
” Josie yelled.
“Yeah well as least I have an IQ over 15.”
“Well your IQ isn’t going to get you a passionate night of mind numbing sex.”
“No, it’ll get me more than one night because the guy will know I’m not as dumb as a box of rocks and flush my phone number.” Josie fisted her hands.
Outside a car pulled up and Mickey introduced himself to Tom then leaned on the porch rail and settled in to enjoy the show. “Did it just start?” he asked as if he were settling in to watch a movie at the theatre. Tom just gave him a wry look.
“Did you just call me dumb?” Josie asked.
“You called me dumb first.”
“Well, doesn’t matter now ‘cause I’m gonna kick your ass.” She stepped out of her shoes and handed them to Tom who either out of shock or disbelief
,
took them. “We’ll see how much your IQ helps in a street fight. Come on!”
Mickey who was leaning on the porch rail, his long legs stretched in front of him said to Tom, “We need popcorn. And chairs to watch the show.” Tom looked at Mickey, a mix of amusement, intrigue
,
and incredulity on his face.
“Take your best shot, Lolita!” Megan said and put her fisted hands up.
“I will. And I probably won’t even have to knock you out. You usually do that all by yourself.” A black SUV slowly rolled up to the curb in front of Megan’s house.
“Alright! That’s it! Let’s rock
,
” Megan said.
“Shouldn’t you girls take it outside?” Mickey said.
“Shut Up!” They yelled back.
“Well, can we at least pop some popcorn?”
“Shut up
,
”
t
hey yelled again
.
Mickey grinned at Tom and said, “Ding Ding.”
Megan and Josie were circling each other in the foyer while Tom was pleading with them both to calm down. Mickey was enjoying the show when a man started walking up the sidewalk.
Josie lunged at Megan, who lost her footing and tried to duck. Tom threw himself in front of Megan, all the while trying to keep her from falling
. B
ut instead
,
he too fell, landing on top of Megan. Megan lay there stunned with Tom on top of her, both trying to catch their breath.
“Get off of her! You’re hurting her!” Josie screamed at Tom who was trying to get up when a hand grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and yanked him into a standing position. The yank was followed by a solid punch to the jaw which sent Tom floundering backwards a few steps holding his jaw, his face fierce with anger.
Mickey and Josie stood speechless and Megan lay flat on the floor staring at the two men facing off in her foyer. Life used to be so boring. Predictable. Why me?
“What, you didn’t get enough hitting on her the other day? Came back to finish the job?” Tom stared at the man who was now talking to him in a strong deliberate tone, his face an inch from Tom’s. “You want to hit someone. Try hitting me.”
Megan jumped up from the floor and grabbed Jack’s arm. “Hey!”
s
he yelled, but he talked right over her. Aside from the anger in his eyes he seemed in perfect control, his voice was low but stern, his body language menacing but calm.
“Man, I didn’t touch her
,
” Tom said assuming a fighting stance.
“Then how’d she get two black eyes
,
huh? I saw her last night and aside from a lump on her head she was fine.” He tilted Megan’s chin up to Tom and Megan batted his hand away. “Explain this!”
“Jack! Or Magnum or whatever your name is. He never touched me. Leave him alone
,
” Megan said. Then she realized he’d said she had two black eyes. Holy cow! Why hadn’t anyone told her? Jeez, Stacy was right. She was an accident waiting to happen. No wonder Ted was sleeping with Tiffany.
Jack turned to face Megan, his voice and eyes softer, “Megan, your mother said some guy hit you.”
“Well she lied
.
” Jack looked like he wasn’t buying any of it. “Tom is a nice guy.”
Tom rubbed his jaw and Josie
,
being very observant of a hunk in need, tried to lure him into the kitchen for an ice pack-and more
than
likely his phone number- but when he refused to go she went and got it for him. Mickey followed her into the kitchen, no doubt to make popcorn.
“Then how’d you get two black eyes
?
”
“Josie and my mom knocked me out with the door.” Jack raised a skeptical brow.
“And the lump on your head?”
“Freak accident at the gym.” Megan could understand how ridiculous it all sounded because she wasn’t sure she believed it herself.
“Well, Ethel was yelling at him to stop hurting you. Don’t you see how it looked?”
She could see his point. What was the word he had used last night? Rescuing her.
And having walked up when he did, the situation could have been perceived that way. But what she didn’t understand was what the hell was he doing here and why on earth did he consider it his job to rescue her. He was a burglar for Christ’s sake.
A robber. A thief. A really rugged, handsome thief now that she had actually seen him in the daylight
,
but a criminal just the same.
“O
K
. Look, I know how it looked.” She looked at Tom who agreed that he might have done the same thing. “But this, Mr. Whatever Your Name Is, is none of your business. I am none of your business. Which reminds me, how did you find out where I live?” Josie brought Tom the ice pack and seductively held it to his jaw, pressing her cleavage into his arm.