Me and My Sisters (13 page)

‘Hi, sorry to disturb you, Meredith, I wondered if you had a minute.’

She stood up. She was slim and toned, her hair was shiny, her makeup was perfectly applied, her nails were manicured and she was wearing a black dress with killer heels. She looked like I used to.

‘Hi, Louise. Congratulations.’ She nodded to my bump.

‘Actually, that’s the reason I’m here. You seem to have managed to have a baby and get straight back to work seamlessly. I’m planning to do exactly the same thing. I want to be back after three weeks and I just wondered if you had any advice.’

‘What does your husband do?’

‘There is no husband and the father won’t be around.’

‘You’ll need staff – a cleaner who will also grocery-shop and cook, and a nanny for the child. If one is sick, the other will cover for her. You need to ignore all those women who drone on about breast-feeding and staying at home for the first year to have that special bond – it’s bullshit. A happy mother means a happy home. I’d go around the twist at those awful mother-and-baby groups singing “Humpty Dumpty” like a brain-dead corpse. Who said having children means you have to give everything up? Children should slot into your life, not the other way around. Obviously you have to make some adjustments, but there’s no need to go over the top.’

I beamed at her. She felt exactly the same as I did. A true kindred spirit.

‘When I was a month old my parents went to Australia for six weeks,’ Meredith continued. ‘My mother had no guilty feelings. She said she couldn’t wait to go away. She was exhausted, she needed a holiday. My parents had a very healthy, happy marriage because they put themselves first. I don’t have any abandonment issues and I have an excellent relationship with my mother. Giving up your job, your looks, your hobbies, your sanity and your happiness will not make your child love you more. It will, however, make you love yourself a lot less and that’s where the real problems start and marriages break up.’

‘You’re so right,’ I exclaimed. I wanted to kiss her. ‘I keep hearing how my life will be turned upside-down, my priorities will change and I’ll want to stay at home. But I could think of nothing worse than being cooped up in my apartment with a baby all day.’

‘Perish the thought. Honestly, I enjoy my weekends with Hermione, but I’m always relieved to get back to work on Monday. This job keeps me motivated and stimulated.’

‘I totally agree. So all I need is good help?’

‘Reliable childcare with back-up.’

‘I’ve put the baby down for the Kensington Academy crèche and my cleaning lady said she’ll cover any days the baby is sick. She’ll also pick her up if I’m in work late or travelling.’

‘What about her other cleaning jobs?’

‘I said I’d pay her double on the days I needed her to cover for me. I presume babies don’t get sick that often, so it should be straightforward.’

‘It sounds like you have it sorted. That crèche is supposed to be fantastic. I’d advise you to have one more back-up person, though. Get a really good babysitter, a student – someone studying paediatrics would be ideal. That way even if your cleaning lady lets you down, you won’t be stuck. Let’s be honest here, Louise, the other partners have stay-at-home wives to sort this stuff out. They never have to think about their children. We have to do it all ourselves. If I took a day off every time Hermione was sick, I’d have been fired by now. You can’t do it. At our level you have to be focused, flexible and available twenty-four seven. If we want to play with the big boys, we have to play by their rules.’

‘I already have junior partners snapping at my heels, desperate for me to have the baby and take a step down so they can grab my place. I’ve worked too long and too hard to get here. I’m not giving it up,’ I said.

‘Of course you’re not. The corporate world needs women like you and me to show the younger generation we can do it. You can be very successful and have children. Our daughters will thank us, not blame us.’

‘You’re so right. Thanks, Meredith, this chat’s been really helpful.’

‘You’re welcome. Good luck with the baby. You’ll have no problem – we career girls invented multitasking.’

I left her office on a high. It was going to be fine. In six weeks’ time the baby would be born and a few weeks after that I’d be at work, back to my normal life and, hopefully, a normal vagina.

When I got back to my office, Jasmine said Julie was on the line.

‘Hi, Julie.’

‘Listen, I woke up in the middle of the night and realized you don’t have a birthing partner, so I’d like to offer my services. I’ve had a C-section, so I know what to expect. I’m not squeamish, I’m good with doctors and I won’t tell you what to do because I’m the only sister who didn’t get the control-freak gene.’

‘Thanks for the offer, but I don’t need one.’

‘Louise, I know you’re Superwoman but everyone needs someone to hold their hand when a baby is born.’

‘I don’t. Honestly, I’d rather be on my own.’

‘I’m coming to London whether you like it or not.’

‘Fine, I’d like you to come, but not into the operating theatre. You can wait outside and come in when I’ve been stitched back up.’

‘You know who else is coming over?’ Julie giggled.

‘Oh, God!’

‘You can’t stop her, Lou, she’s your mother. She wants to be involved.’

‘Well, you’ll have to nail her shoes to the floor so she doesn’t come into the theatre. I do not want Mum ordering me about.’

‘OK. I’ll pin her down while you’re being sliced open, but then you’ll have to let her in.’

‘Fine, but she’s not to hang around my hospital room all day telling me what to do. I’ve read all the books. I know what to do. I’m going to have this baby in a routine from week one.’

‘
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
’

‘Gina Ford says it’s –’

Julie interrupted, ‘Louise, if you only take one piece of advice from me, please let it be this one – burn that book. You’ll drive yourself insane trying to force your baby into a routine. I tried the Gina Ford routine with the triplets and I swear I almost lost my mind. Harry eventually threw it in the bin. Babies find their own rhythm. You can’t and shouldn’t force them into any routine.’

‘Julie, I hate to state the obvious, but your boys still wake up at night.’

‘That’s because I’m too tired to discipline them.’

‘Well, Gina Ford’s routine works for millions of babies. And I love routine so I’m sure my child will too.’

‘OK, but I really think it’s a mistake.’

‘Fine.’

‘Are you worried about having to look after the baby on your own?’

‘No.’

‘A bit apprehensive?’

‘Not at all. I can’t wait, to be honest.’

‘Oh, I know, it’s so exciting.’

‘No, I mean I can’t wait for the baby to be out and for me to get my life back to normal.’

Julie started laughing hysterically again so I hung up.

12

Sophie

I was on my way home from dropping Jess to school when I got a call from Annabelle. I had phoned her after Victoria had told me about her husband, Frank, having to take a massive pay cut and left a message saying I was sorry to hear she was having a difficult time and if she wanted to meet for coffee and a chat to call me. I didn’t want to become her confidante or to take on her troubles, but I felt it was important to say hi and not make her feel ostracized. I heard nothing back for ages and had almost forgotten about it when she rang. She seemed keen to meet up, so we arranged to have a coffee together. I was kind of dreading it. I didn’t know her that well, and while I was glad I’d made the effort to call her, I was equally glad when she hadn’t called back.

I decided it was better not to wear my new watch or my diamond S. I wanted to dress down a bit, so I wore my blue dVb jeans, my casual brown Miu Miu wedge boots, and a beige Jaeger polo-neck with my brown Donna Karan poncho.

I arrived to the coffee shop and looked around. I saw Annabelle sitting in the corner, hunched over a cup of coffee. I barely recognized her – she looked awful. She had always been very glamorous and I’d never seen her without her hair blow-dried, fully made up and wearing the latest fashion. Now her hair was thin and lank and she was wearing an old pair of jeans, runners and a sweatshirt. I was shocked.

‘Hi, how are you?’ I said, leaning in to give her a hug.

‘Oh, God, you look gorgeous.’ She sighed.

‘You look good too,’ I lied.

‘I look wretched,’ she said.

I ordered a coffee. ‘How are things?’ I asked.

‘Nightmare. I can’t sleep. I spend all day with a calculator going through every single thing we spend money on, trying to cut back so the boys can stay in private school. But it’s impossible to come up with the fees. I asked the headmaster to give them a scholarship. James is fifteen, he only has three more years, and Freddie’s only nine, so hopefully we’ll be back on our feet by the time he gets to senior school.’

‘What did the headmaster say?’

‘He said that a third of the parents were defaulting on school fees, that the scholarships had already been allocated to people in dire straits and that he was willing to let the boys stay until the end of the year without paying the fees, but after that he couldn’t help us. He said the school is barely surviving. So …’ She began to cry.

I squirmed in my seat. ‘I’m very sorry to hear that.’

‘Can you imagine telling a fifteen-year-old that he can’t finish school with the friends he’s grown up with since he was six? He loves that school – he’s on the debating team, the tennis team and the athletics team. His heart will be broken. But we have no choice. We tried to sell the house, but we can’t. We bought it for two and a half million and it’s now worth a million. One and a half million euros of negative equity. We’ll never get out of this mess. The only room we heat is the kitchen. That’s where we live now. We go to bed in jumpers and woolly socks. I took the boys’ mobile phones away and I have a pay-as-you-go one now. The bills were huge. I do one bulk shop for a hundred euros a month – food, toiletries, cleaning products, clothes – and that has to last.’

One hundred euros a month for all your shopping! God, I spent that on a sparkly cushion for Jess’s bedroom yesterday. Poor Annabelle, it must be hell having no money. I felt stressed just thinking about it.

‘Obviously I had to let my cleaner go and the gardener,’ she continued. ‘We never go out for meals or drinks or even a sandwich any more. We gave up the golf club, the gym and the tennis club. I don’t see anyone and my phone isn’t exactly ringing off the hook. Victoria and my other old school friends have dropped me.’

‘They just wanted to give you space,’ I mumbled.

‘I don’t need space, I need support. I’ll tell you one thing, Sophie, you find out who your real friends are when something like this happens. You called me and we don’t even know each other that well. It was nice of you to do that. I appreciate it. But, you know, in a way it’s better that Victoria and the others have dumped me. I can’t do any of the things they’re doing. I can’t go on holidays or to fancy restaurants or balls or on spa days. We live different lives now.’

‘How’s Frank doing?’

‘He’s OK. He was upset at first, but he’s very practical. Frank came from nothing. He grew up in a home with very little money, so having to cut back, having to budget every single thing, doesn’t frighten him like it does me. He keeps saying it’ll be all right, it’s just a phase and we’ll get back on our feet soon. But I don’t think we’ll ever get out of this debt. And I’m just devastated about James and Freddie having to move schools.’

‘Could your family help?’

‘My parents are dead. My father left me a chunk of money in his will, but we used it to buy the house. Frank said the house we had was fine and I should keep the inheritance for a rainy day, but I wanted to move into a bigger, shinier house. I desperately wanted to live on Granary Road. I thought it would give me status. It’s turned out to be a noose around my neck.’

‘Would you be open to us girls putting a fund together so your boys can stay in school? I’m sure the others would be glad to help.’

She laughed bitterly. ‘I don’t think so, Sophie. I rang Victoria a few weeks ago and asked her for a loan. I was mortified, but I’d do anything for my boys. She said if it was her money she’d give it to me, but it was Gerry’s and he never lent money to friends because it always ended badly.’

‘Why don’t I talk to Jack? He’s very generous and I know he won’t mind.’ I was shocked that Victoria had been so cold to one of her best friends. Then again, it wasn’t her money so in a way it was Gerry’s decision to make. Still, Victoria could stop shopping for a week and the boys’ school fees would be paid. Gerry wouldn’t even notice. I knew he gave her a huge allowance – she could have used that.

Annabelle leant across and squeezed my hand. ‘Thanks, Sophie, it’s a really kind offer, but I can’t accept. I need to figure this out myself. I will let you pay for my coffee, though.’ She smiled weakly.

I paid for the coffee and said goodbye. She climbed into her battered old car and I got into my Range Rover. I felt awful for her. Her life was utter hell. I shuddered as I drove to my appointment with the beautician.

A few days later, Jack announced that he was going to New York on business and wanted me to come with him, go shopping, catch a show, have some fun. I jumped at the chance. I love New York – the shopping there is second to none. I’d need to bring an extra suitcase for my purchases. I set up three appointments with personal shoppers at Barney’s, Bergdorf Goodman and Saks. The personal shoppers in America are so efficient and helpful – they treat you like a celebrity. I couldn’t get enough of it.

‘Where are we staying?’ I asked.

‘The Four Seasons.’ He smiled when I whooped. ‘It’s all on expenses so get as many treatments as you want in the spa.’

‘I can’t wait. We’re so lucky, Jack. Honestly, after seeing Annabelle I realized how lucky I am that your business is going well and that we have no money worries. She’s so strung out. You should see her – it’s awful.’

Jack put his coffee down on the kitchen counter. ‘I actually called the principal at Mount Gladwell College yesterday. I couldn’t stop thinking about Annabelle’s kids having to leave the school because they couldn’t pay the fees. I’ve given the school a hundred grand to cover those boys and a few other families who need help. But I said it had to be an anonymous donation.’

I hugged him. ‘Oh, Jack, that’s brilliant.’

‘What’s money for if you can’t help people out?’

‘You’re so generous – it’s one of the things I love most about you.’

He put his arm around me. ‘What else?’

‘You’re a great dad, you’re fun, you’re gorgeous and you don’t mind that your wife thought Dow Jones was a Welsh singer.’

Jack roared laughing. ‘I forgot about that. What a classic. Of course I didn’t mind. Look, Sophie, this may come as a shock to you, but I didn’t marry you for your sharp financial brain. I love you because you’re gorgeous, a brilliant mum and a fantastic wife. You never nag or moan when I’m working late or away and you’re always up for going out and having fun. And I love the way you defended me on Christmas Day to my family. Marrying you was the smartest move I’ve ever made.’

I kissed him. ‘Well, it was definitely the cleverest thing I’ve ever done.’

The only downside to our trip to New York was Jess. I was dreading telling her. In the last few months she’d suddenly begun to get upset when we went away. Until then she’d always been absolutely fine about it. She adored Mimi and she was used to Jack and me going away – we’d been doing it since she was born. Jack had insisted on having a break when she was just three months old. I remember finding it very hard to leave her when she was so small, but he really wanted to go, so we went to Capri for five days. But the last two times we’d left her she’d cried and asked us to take her with us. Mimi said that an hour after we were gone she was fine again, but I hated seeing her upset. I hoped she wouldn’t cry this time.

I needed to pack carefully for the trip: New Yorkers were very stylish. I was going for an Elle Macpherson smart-casual style. She always looked amazing, even just in jeans and pumps, although I wasn’t going to wear jeans. I wanted to look city-smart. Jack had planned a big night out with all his work colleagues, so I needed something really gorgeous for that night. I’d met a few of the people he worked with and they were nice but very over-confident. I knew Jack wanted me to look my absolute best. He liked to show me off. I’d bring my Hervé Léger sequin-panelled black bandage cap-sleeve dress. Even Victoria, who rarely complimented anyone, had said it was fab.

I was trying it on with my new Yves St Laurent shoes when Mum rang. ‘Hi, what are you up to?’

‘I’m trying on clothes for the trip to New York.’

‘I’m actually calling you about that.’

‘What’s up?’ I asked, only half listening as I changed into my black Jimmy Choos, which were better with the dress.

‘I want you to track down Louise’s boyfriend and tell him about the baby.’

That got my attention. I sat on the end of my bed. ‘Mum, Louise doesn’t have a boyfriend. He’s out of the picture, remember.’

‘I know she said that and I understand that she doesn’t want anything to do with him, but I can’t sleep at night thinking about that poor baby with no father. Children need father figures.’

‘Dad can be her father figure, with Gavin, Jack and Harry. She’ll be fine.’

‘Sophie, that man needs to stand up and take responsibility for his baby. Do you have any idea how damaging it is for a child to know her father rejected her?’

‘I know it’s not ideal, but the baby’s better off with no father than a father who doesn’t want her. Anyway, it’s up to Louise to contact him if she wants to. I’m not getting involved.’

‘Sometimes you have to get off the fence, Sophie.’

‘I do get off the fence.’

‘You don’t really, pet. You always avoid confrontation. You just go off and do your own thing. And you’re right most of the time not to get involved in your sisters’ dilemmas, but this time you need to step in and help.’

I hated getting involved in any kind of drama. I didn’t want to get dragged into arguments and heavy discussions. I just wanted to get on with my life and stay away from any hassle or unpleasantness. I felt very uncomfortable when people told me personal things. I didn’t want to know because then they expected me to share secrets, too. I didn’t do that. I didn’t discuss personal things. I was a private person. I dealt with my own stuff my own way and never involved anyone else. I found that kind of intimacy uncomfortable.

I had lots of friends, but I never discussed my problems or innermost thoughts with them. They were friends I had fun with or shopped with or had kiddie play-dates with. I liked it that way. I had never been a girl who spent hours on the phone to her best friend agonizing over a guy. I didn’t want someone calling me at three in the morning telling me their marriage was breaking up. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to get involved. I didn’t want to listen to it. I didn’t lean on people and I didn’t want to be leant on. I knew how to fix myself. I’d done it after Jess was born. Private things should remain just that – private.

‘Do you think you can get his address?’ Mum asked.

‘No, Mum. Louise hasn’t told me anything about him and she’s not going to.’

‘I’ll call Julie. She’ll be able to get it out of her and then I’ll call you back with it. If you turned up at his office and confronted him, it would shame him into stepping up to his responsibilities.’

‘Fine.’ I decided to let Julie deal with Mum. She was better at stonewalling her.

‘I’ll do that now. By the way, did I hear Gavin’s staying in your house while you’re away?’

‘Yes, I said he could. It’ll be nice for Jess and Mimi to have him around.’

‘You know he has a new girlfriend?’

‘I heard she’s gorgeous.’

‘Needless to say, he hasn’t introduced her to us yet. Mind you, at least he’s down from the tree. Thank God for that. Your father can play golf again and get out of my hair. It was driving me crazy having him in the house all the time. Honestly, when Jack retires, make sure he has plenty of hobbies. Men are hopeless at filling their time.’

‘I hardly ever see Jack, he works so hard.’

‘That’s why I went to work in the business with your father. I knew it was the only way I’d see him. Doing the books for the company was a good way of spending time together and for me to get involved. I enjoyed it, actually. I liked being busy.’

‘I don’t think Jack would appreciate me coming in and trying to be a hedge-fund manager.’ I laughed at the thought. ‘I actually wouldn’t have time to work between the house and my exercise classes and bringing Jess to all her after-school activities – I’m flat out.’

‘Does she really need to do ballet, judo, swimming, tennis, music and drama?’ Mum thought Jess did far too many things.

‘It’s what the other girls do and she seems to like it.’