* * * * *
“toby.” her last thought had been of her son, and it was the first word that sprang out of her mouth when she woke up. loren flung her body upwards and tried to kick the blankets away from her legs. but they were tucked into the mattress of the bed and held against her struggles. that slight delay was plenty of time for her brain to snap to attention.
los angeles county ran twenty-four hour shifts for its firefighters. loren had learned to jump out of her bed and leave sleep behind just like every other member of the department.
besides, the sight that greeted her eyes was definitely worth her full attention. the wall in front of her was a huge window seat. just now, a brilliant half moon was hung
in the right corner of it. the stars were spread out over the rest of the view and it was
quite literally stunning. loren couldn’t remember that last time she’d seen the full brilliance of the night sky. there was too much artificial light in the city and the stars lost a great deal of their luster.
as she’d sat up, the thick comforter that was on the bed slid down to her waist. a
wave of steady heat bathed her right shoulder and arm. turning her head, loren looked
at the fireplace beside her. it was ten feet away and took up most of the wall. the fire had died down but the coals were glowing red.
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“toby’s fine.”
loren snapped her head around and found rourke stretched out over a sofa that was centered on the opposite side of the master bedroom. his bedroom. her eyes widened as she noted the very masculine color of the bedding she was currently sleeping in.
“do i want to know how i got into your bed?” loren slid her eyes back to rourke and watched the way his mouth turned up slightly into a grin. his eyes moved over her
in a lazy movement that caused heat to travel up into her face again.
“i tucked you in, nice and tight.”
rourke showed her an even row of teeth as he said that. he raised his arms and tucked them behind his head. the sofa was an oversized one but he dwarfed it with his frame. his feet were crossed and propped up into the far corner. there was a blanket lying over his legs and a pillow with the same sheeting design pushed under his neck.
he was sleeping on the sofa? loren blinked her eyes in rapid movement before running them over rourke again. the man was truly sleeping on that sofa while she was in his bed. that made absolutely no sense. none.
“why am i in your bed?”
rourke let out a low laugh. he just couldn’t help it. she looked so very…nervous sitting there in his bed. her pale green eyes were centered on him as she waited to hear just why she found herself in the one place he’d bet she’d never thought to be.
“my room’s the only one with a fireplace next to the bed and you are suffering from shock.” rourke lowered his feet and moved off the sofa as he took a moment to assess loren’s condition. she was rosy pink now. but there were black circles ringing both her eyes from the shock his brother’s probe had left behind.
shock? loren understood that well enough but why had she been suffering from it? her memory recalled the incident with amazing clarity a second later.
“where’s toby?” this time, the kick she aimed at the bedding was strong enough to
rip it free. rourke sat on the edge of the bed and settled his hands onto her shoulders, firmly pressing her body back down onto his bed.
“he’s asleep down the hall.”
“your brother better not have touched him.” rourke felt the emotion surging through her and pressed her down again.
“jared didn’t know toby had clearance. he won’t bother your son now.” loren settled down and stopped struggling to escape his hold. rourke savored the moment of acceptance. he liked touching her but their current topic of conversation was a shining example of just why he couldn’t let his desire get out of hand. his life was just too damn dangerous for her.
loren really must have been overtired. that had to be the reason she was enjoying
rourke’s hands so much. she could actually feel each and every finger that was closed
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over her bare shoulders. his hands were far larger than her frame and his grip was draped slightly down her arms. it was a solid hold and she liked it.
one hand moved and traveled down the length of her arm. loren turned her head
to watch it smooth over her skin. the difference in their skin tone caught her eyes as rourke made the return trip back up her arm. heat spread from that point of contact toward the rest of her body.
he didn’t stop at her shoulder. instead that firm hand moved up her neck and cupped her face bringing her eyes back to his. the emerald intensity fascinated her. loren stared into his eyes as she recognized how aggressive he smelled. it seemed to be the very definition of the idea of maleness.
the rough tip of his thumb pressed down onto her lips. the sensitive skin of her mouth felt the calloused surface of his hand. the sensation intensified his appeal, because he wasn’t soft. instead his hands reflected his strength. his hand returned to her face as he settled his mouth over hers. his lips were firm as they gently explored.
the heat rose even higher as it sought out the companionship of his body.
lifting her hands, loren slid them over the hard planes of his chest and sighed. his mouth trailed away from hers as he moved down the column of her neck.
rourke pressed her body toward his. there were a hundred places he wanted to taste, one at a time. moving up, he raked his fingers through her hair. the unruly strands were free and tumbled forward. twisting his fingers into it, rourke pulled the scent of it into his lungs. it was the strong scent of the woman he wanted to make his own.
“i want to make love to you, loren.”
oh god. she knew that. could feel it, even taste it right at that moment.
the husky sound of his voice absolutely terrified her. she just couldn’t let a man get so close. memory slashed across her mind and invaded her body’s bliss. the same hands that held so much strength could cause so much pain.
fear quickly evolved into panic and loren shoved against her companion. she couldn’t, wouldn’t survive it again. not ever again.
their minds had been fused together as firmly as their bodies.
rourke felt her emotions and struggled to understand them. emotions were tricky things for a psychic. the streams of sensation were rarely easy to understand, but he understood fear when he felt it.
loren struggled against his hold as rourke considered her panic. it was more than her conscience. he’d made that mistake back on the beach.
assuming her reluctance to answer their attraction was due to her morals.
catching the back of her head, he held it steady while he searched her eyes for the answer.
“easy, loren, relax.”
his voice had lost its husky edge and loren pushed against his chest to further the distance. rourke’s arms relaxed their hold but kept her firmly within their circle. loren pressed her palms against his chest as she tried to break that embrace. she could still 39
feel the heat radiating from his chest and she had to move away from it and away from her own female weakness.
“let me go.”
her words were cut with fear. rourke felt his face set into a frown as he considered that. sexual attraction was basic and part of every human on the planet. puberty unleashed the hormones that made the genders seek out each other. it was society that taught women to associate shame with their sex drive.
rourke watched the way loren strained against his hold. her body twisted just like
an animal that was snared in a trap. this was definitely more than loren’s conscience. she was afraid of him. women didn’t fear men unless they learned to the hard way.
“you kissed me, loren.”
her eyes flew to his face in horror. loren covered her mouth with her hand and felt her body shudder. she had kissed him. the idea rolled over her fear and caused her to simply stare at rourke in utter confusion. she didn’t understand.
“i’m sorry.” and she was. loren stared at the man in front of her and felt herself crumble. not wanting a man in her life was one thing. proving that she could make it
on her own was important, but had chris really made it so she couldn’t have a man if she decided she wanted one?
she was so tired. every last ounce of energy she had flowed away from her body, leaving her flesh frail. she relaxed into rourke’s hold because she couldn’t hold her body away from his any longer. her eyes watched his cut into her face before she gave up and let them slip closed.
everything melted away and loren went willingly enough into the oblivion of sleep. she didn’t have to think anymore. for now, that was enough.
rourke didn’t release her body. instead he enjoyed the weight of her in his arms. he could still smell her. he let the sensation cross his senses.
desire cooled as his mind searched for the reason behind her emotions.
loren could suppress her natural sense of fear enough to graduate from a fire academy but the idea of having sex threw her into a panic.
that didn’t happen without a reason.
settling her body back into the bed, rourke yanked the comforter back into place before he returned to the sofa. propping his arms behind his neck he shifted his mind into sharp focus.
being psychic was an interesting thing. one major difference was rourke had explored the human emotion range in more detail than any one person could understand. emotions themselves fascinated him. the non-logical thoughts could drive men to unbelievable acts of bravery. emotion could also result in the most brutal of horrors.
the scars that emotional tides left behind, changed people and made them who they were. loren muttered in her sleep and kicked at the bedding again. anger crept up
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his spine as rourke considered her. loren wasn’t a woman who let fear paralyze her. no, she dealt with her demons and moved on.
except for one thing. she’d never moved on from her marriage. instead, she dug a hole and buried it. suspicion burned through his brain as rourke considered just why she would have remained married to a man who had left her. maybe it had been her mother’s instinct. if her husband had known about toby he would have shown up to see the kid.
that made sense. rourke couldn’t help but grin a little. chris might be his man but that didn’t change the fact that he’d deserted his pregnant wife.
as far as rourke was concerned, he’d gotten exactly what was coming to him.
no woman should have to put
up with an immature husband. they’d been married and chris should have been a
father to his child, whatever the sex. ahh, damn it.
rourke tore his eyes off loren and stared at his ceiling. she was married!
he had to get that through his thick skull. maybe she wasn’t so much afraid of him as she was afraid of breaking one of the ten commandments. adultery was a harsh word even today.
psychic or no psychic, the brass would skin him alive if they caught him in a relationship with one of his men’s wives. so chris was an ass and had deserted her. that didn’t make any relationship between them right.
even if he convinced loren to get a divorce that really wasn’t an answer.
then what was he going to do? rourke felt his stomach twist as he considered the fact that he’d have to walk out on her as well. maybe not right away, but there wasn’t any room in his life for a relationship.
life was handing out harsh lessons tonight. his body was still throbbing with desire as rourke forced himself to swallow the fact that he wouldn’t be touching loren again. she was a civilian and he had to ship her back to her world before she found out anything else about his.
* * * * *
waking up had never been so hard before. loren ran her hand through her hair and pulled on the strands to try and wake her brain up. all she did was make her eyes tear from the pain. kicking at the coverlet she wiggled toward the edge of the bed.
the thing must have been huge because she was sweating by the time she made it. her feet smarted as she stood up on them. a hundred needle pricks race along her soles as she forced her body to stand up on feet that had been parallel for too long.
“you just wait ‘til i get my hands on you, jared campbell.” loren’s voice was muffled through her clenched lips as her legs began cramping. she reached into the 41
shower and turned the faucet on before trying to yank her clothing off. her entire body was stiff and aching from too much sleep. the midafternoon sun was streaming through the bathroom window making loren issue a low growl at the complete loss of an entire day.
she couldn’t remember the last day she’d just slept away. it was an appalling waste
of time! “you just wait.” yanking a sock off her foot, loren stumbled, off balance, before catching her body.
she glared at her reflection. the mirror showed her a pathetic-looking person. the dark circles sitting under her eyes made her start muttering under her breath again.
at least the water chased the cobwebs from her brain. loren indulged her aching body in the hot water. she felt the stiffness melt away as she turned so the shower’s spray could hit her shoulders.
stepping out of the shower, she felt infinitely better. loren grabbed a towel and pulled it across her face. there! now she was human again!
the refection from the mirror captured her attention again. her memory was crystal clear now. loren stared at her eyes and searched her face. there wasn’t a single bruise left from her husband’s hands. the marks had faded away with fourteen years of separation.
for the very first time, loren looked at the mental scar she’d carried all those years. was she really afraid of sex? maybe it was an absurd question, but she’d panicked in rourke’s arms. while her logical mind told her kissing the man was trouble, that didn’t mean that panicking was the answer. far from it. loren needed her wits completely in order to deal with rourke. the man had an amazing ability to reduce her to a pile of emotions.
it was stupid. she wasn’t afraid of sex. how could she be? she had a son and the stork hadn’t delivered toby to her. the sexual part of her relationship with chris had never been the problem. in fact, their hormones were one of the main reasons they’d gotten married when she’d been so young.
chris had been fresh out of basic training and bigger than life.
he’d sparked the very first passion in her young body. but only wives moved onto the base, so they’d gotten married.
it really hadn’t been all that original. half the guys in chris’
training class got married within two months of getting their first orders.
their domestic problems hadn’t been unique either.
letting a sigh escape, loren turned toward her clothing. there was no point in riding down memory lane. what was—was. chris had been a spoiled brat and loren had long since forced herself to grow up.
she had a lousy husband. fine. her fault and she’d moved on.
rourke campbell made her sweat in places she’d forgotten she had. fine.
that was her problem. trying
to blame it on chris would be, well, immature.
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she needed to funnel her energies into what would do her and toby the most good. that was the foundation of her life. focus on the present not the past. pick yourself up and move forward because no one’s life was perfect.
besides, a good cup of coffee could do wonders for her outlook on life. a sneaky little smile turned up the corners of her mouth as loren wandered toward the kitchen. her ears picked up two male voices inside the house. maybe she’d get the chance to take out her frustrations on jared campbell after all.
loren felt a wide smile replace her grin, as she got close enough to see rourke and his brother both sharing coffee. in southern california, coffee time was morning. but the brisk mountain weather made it appropriate for the afternoon as well.
steam was rising from both men’s mugs as they continued their conversation.
men had a unique way of socializing. loren recognized the body language instantly. there might not have been a whole lot of conversation but they were definitely communicating.
someone laid a fist on the front door with the force of thunder. both men snapped into deadly form. loren watched from the hallway as they turned toward the door without spilling a single drop of their coffee.
it was amazing to witness the tight control they held over their bodies. it was almost like she understood the difference between civilian and special forces at that moment. they men didn’t just move, they executed their motions with complete control and precision. there was no doubt in her mind that they could and would use deadly force in the blink of an eye. the fact that they went from the relaxed stance of drinking coffee together to their current positions made it so much more amazing to her.
that same fist pounded on the door again as rourke caught her with his eyes. his head made a sharp jerk in her direction as he pointed her back the way she’d come. the order was silent but loren felt her ears ring with it. the absolute authority the man projected had her body responding even before she recognized what she was doing.
rourke sent her another sharp nod of approval before he took two long-legged strides and jerked his front door open. not the way she would have done it. rourke didn’t stand in front of the open doorway. instead he sent the door swinging inward while his body was against the wall.
“i want to see my wife!”
even knowing chris for the spoilt brat that he was, loren was still surprised to hear exactly how belligerent he’d decided to be with his commanding officer. she stepped toward the door and caught the harsh look rourke leveled at his man.
“you seem to have forgotten how the army works, soldier.” chris raised his chin and tried to out-bluster his superior. rourke didn’t suffer the insubordination for long. he grabbed the center of chris’ shirt and flung him back out the front door. loren ran into the kitchen but came up short as jared stepped into her path. the man literally used his body as a solid barricade to keep her from following the two men out onto the porch. loren bounced back and immediately tried to go 43
around the man. but she didn’t have to. a split second later and rourke had pushed chris down the steps and into the clearing in front of the house.
jared moved with his brother in almost perfect synchronization, following rourke as he kept her behind his body.
loren followed and found rourke’s brother purposely blocking her path again. the
man stepped in front of her as she tried to move around him. the look he cast over his shoulder was just as full of authority as his brother’s had been. loren felt her pride bristle but clamped her jaw shut. rourke had enough trouble to deal with at the moment.
“she’s my wife. sir!” chris spat the expected title of sir and stumbled back from rourke’s frame as he tried to shove his commanding officer but found rourke immovable.
loren had decided back on that beach that rourke looked untamed. right now she was certain the man was completely uncivilized. his body stood with tightly controlled aggression. the type you saw in a wild predator. chris’
eyes went large but he refused
to back down.
“there’s no married housing here.” rourke used a tightly controlled voice with his man. he could smell the liquor on the man. but that didn’t make rourke angry. far from it. chris was digging his own grave with his insubordination and rourke would be happy to watch him do it. there was no place for chris in his unit. this little alcohol-sponsored incident would just save rourke the trouble of kicking the man out.
“even a goddamn officer can’t just screw around with my wife! i want a divorce.” chris sneered in contempt before he raised an arm and pointed at loren. “and i want my kid too! you’re an adulteress and i’m going to get custody of my son.”
“i won’t live with you.” every head turned as toby popped up from inside one of the helicopters. the three black panthers were sitting at rest in the center of the driveway and rourke had driven chris toward the aircraft.
toby jumped down from one panther and stood facing his father.
“you’re a minor and my son. that bitch poisoned you against me. you’ll see, just as soon as we hang out together. you’ll see.” toby regarded his father in silence before he raised his blue eyes toward loren. her son sent her a wink as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned back toward his work. toby jumped back into the helicopter and picked up his laptop computer again.
“toby, you’re my son and you’ll do what i say!” chris didn’t know he was fighting a lost battle. when toby decided something wasn’t worth his time, her son was oblivious. toby promptly began punching lines of code into his keyboard.
“no court will give you custody of me. you tried to kill me before i was born.” toby raised his face and glared at his father. “my mom almost died trying to keep me alive. that’s all i need to know.” 44
“that’s bullshit! she’s a liar.”
toby pegged his father with a clear face. “the interesting thing is that mom never said a word to me about you. so, i decided to look around and find out. the sheriff’s department has a big file on you. i saw what you did to her with your fists.”
loren felt the blood drain from her face. every pair of eyes turned toward her but she didn’t care. her son looked at her and simply grinned. her hand rose to cover her mouth as the simple truth hit her.
toby had hacked into the pentagon, hacked into nasa and he’d hacked into the sheriff’s department files too. when she’d refused to have an abortion, chris had resorted to drinking first and then he’d tried to beat her badly enough that she’d miscarry his unwanted daughter.
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