Man of Passion (19 page)

"Really?"
Her heart bounded once to underscore Inca's softly spoken words.

"
Rafe
has a deeply wounded heart, little sister. Has he told you of his father disowning him? Writing him out of the will? Denying that he even exists? And then Justine, the woman he fell in love with, spurned him because he refused to leave his home here in the rain forest.
Rafe
carries deep grief within him over these things. He also believes that he, like me, will never find someone who will share his love of
Amazonia
, of the things that matter to him. He and I have spoken often of this. What woman would want this kind of life? He is often gone from his camp. He is in danger sometimes. He is the first to arrive at a village when it faces an epidemic, so he risks his life in that way, too. When there is a natural disaster, when the great Amazon floods and people are marooned, he must find and rescue them. When the fierce storm god comes over and sends water pouring down upon us for days on end, people need his help, the food he can find, to keep them alive. What woman would want a man like that?"

Ari almost blurted, "I would," but bit her lower lip instead. "
Rafe
is committed to his dream.
To what he does best."

"
Rafe
and I run on our hearts, our passions. We do
only
what we love, Ari.
Nothing more.
Nothing less."
She gestured lazily toward her. "You need to find out what your passion is. And if it matches and mates with
Rafe's
, then perhaps you have what it will take to love him and accept him as he is. If you cannot, then you should go home when you are done here.
Rafe
is not a man who gives his heart easily. I know of only one time since I have known him that he fell in love, and it was with Justine, a very rich and powerful woman. She was a psychologist in
Manaus
who tried coming out here. But the lure of the city was too much for her.
Rafe
had hoped she would fall in love with the Amazon as he had." Shaking her head, Inca muttered, "It was not to be. I could see it coming, but there was nothing I could do or say to stop him from making the choices he made. He is in command of his own life, not I."

"How sad," Ari murmured. "
Rafe
deserves a woman.
A friend.
A companion for life out here."
She gazed around the area. "How anyone could
not
fall in love with this place is beyond me. Every day there is something new to look at, to smell, to touch. The colors here are never the same two days in a row. There is such life here, Inca."

Inca regarded her from half-closed eyes. "So, perhaps you need to look at your life differently? Perhaps home is not where you believe it to be? When you get your drawings done, you will leave us. The real question is will you return?
Rafe
needs a woman who wants to live here." She jabbed her finger toward the dark brown, rotting leaves that littered the ground. "Find the roots of your real home in your heart, little sister. Then you will have the answer."

Ari nodded. "Now I'm more confused than ever."

Inca stretched to her full height. "Life is really simple if you allow it to be. Let the mud of your confusion settle on the bottom,
then
the clarity of the water above will be seen. Come, we must begin our trek back to camp. I feel
Rafe
is going to beat us home if we do not hurry."

Excited by the possibility of seeing
Rafe
once again, Ari clambered to her feet and rapidly shrugged on her day pack. Grinning, she said, "Let's go!"

"
Rafe
!"
Ari called when she saw him guiding the aluminum skiff near the bank of the Amazon, her voice echoing excitedly through the campsite.

She ran to where he eased the bow of the boat into the channel. He smiled at her tiredly, his unshaved face bristly with about a week's worth of growth.

"Here," he called, "tie the line up to that tree?" He tossed her the cotton rope that would hold the bow firmly to the bank.

"Sure," Ari
called,
happiness in her voice as she caught the line and tied it around a stump on the bank. As she straightened she noted that he looked exceedingly tired. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and she sensed great sadness around him as he eased out of the skiff. As he leaped to the bank and moved toward her, Ari saw grief in his dark brown eyes.

"I missed you so much!" she cried, spontaneously throwing her arms around his neck and pressing
herself
against him.

Rafe
halted, surprised at her gesture. Within seconds, he was embracing her tightly against him. How good her soft, firm body felt next to his. He was a thief, stealing comfort from her warm, lithe form for just a moment. Her arms barely reached around his neck, such was the difference in their heights. When she turned her face toward him and kissed his cheek, he groaned.

"I stink, Ari. I haven't had a shower or shaved in seven days." Justine had always recoiled from him when he wasn't clean. Despite the fact that living in the rain forest made sweat and dirt part of his everyday life, Justine had hated it.

Laughing giddily, the feel of his arms wonderful to her, Ari whispered breathlessly, "I don't care,
Rafe
. You're here. You're safe. That's all I care about…."

How badly he wanted to kiss her, but he knew that Ari was not his to take or to keep. She was transient in his life, a sunbeam that would leave him someday. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he eased her away. "You look beautiful to me," he said huskily. Her eyes were alive with joy, with sunlight dancing in the light blue depths. Her cheeks were flushed like ripe berries. Most of all, he ached to meet and touch that soft, smiling mouth of hers. He hadn't forgotten their kiss. Throughout the miserable week, he'd replayed that kiss a hundred times, especially when his journey had come to a sad end. Ari represented life and joy to him, there was no doubt.

Rafe
forced himself to reluctantly release her and climb the bank. By the fire, he saw Inca standing, her arms across her breasts, watching him through half-closed glittering green eyes. He felt the touch of her mind upon his; by now he was used to her ability to communicate telepathically. He wondered if Inca had fully revealed herself to Ari this week. One corner of Inca's mouth pulled upward and she gave him a wry look, shaking her head in response to his unspoken question.

Ari wrapped her arm around
Rafe's
waist and guided him toward the campfire. "Inca and I have a pot of
beans,
some freshly made white rice and some beef for you. You must be starved." She poked at his rib cage. "Have you lost weight? You look like you have." His cheeks were
more hollow
than Ari recalled and she couldn't help but notice that
Rafe
was right, he stank. His clothes were dirty, smudged and ground in with dirt and days of unrelenting sweat. His boots were caked with dried red mud, as were the bottoms of his khaki trousers. She saw his mouth lift tiredly at her gentle teasing.

"Food.
I'm ready for some. Eating on the run isn't exactly hotel fare."

"Sit down," Ari said excitedly, "and I'll dish it up for you. Inca, will you pour him some of the coffee, please?"

Rafe
looked obliquely over at Inca, who took a seat on a stump opposite them. She was grinning like a jaguar
who
had sited her quarry. Giving her a quizzical look, he nodded his thanks as Ari handed him a plate of steaming beans, rice and beef, a customary dish in Brazil, and one he'd been raised on. Right now, he was famished for it. Placing the plate on his lap, he dug into the fare with his fork.

Inca handed him a tin cup filled with hot, fresh coffee.

"Thanks," he mumbled between bites.

Ari sat down next to him and took a good look at him.
Rafe
desperately needed to shower and shave. He looked darkly dangerous with that growth of beard on his face. What bothered her was the look in his eyes. They were a flat brown color, and she sensed grief around him. She bit her tongue, because she wanted to wait until he'd eaten before she asked him about his adventures downriver.

Rafe
glanced up at Ari, who sat a good three feet away from him, her hands curled around one of her upraised knees. "How did your week go,
mi
flor
?
"

Inca shared a smile with
Rafe
.
"Mi
flor
?"
she teased.

Taking a slab of bread from Ari, who had thoughtfully buttered it for him, he grinned rakishly. "She reminds me of a flower."

"Well," Inca drawled, "your flower bloomed this past week. You will be proud of her. She has unfolded many of her petals in your absence."

Ari felt heat stinging her cheeks. "Oh, Inca…"

Inca's thick, arched brows rose. "Have I not spoken the truth? Why do you not tell
Rafe
of all that you have accomplished?" She jabbed a finger at the sketchbook that sat near Ari. "And that you have seven more orchid drawings than before he left?"

Rafe
looked at Ari. "Seven? That's great.
A real improvement."
Right now, he wanted to hear good news. He saw her smile in response.

"Inca is trying to get me to embrace my own power."

"It's working."

Ari shrugged, painfully self-conscious beneath his warming inspection. "Well…I'm trying, and you said that's all that counts, right?"

Inca grinned and shifted her attention to
Rafe
. "I must get going, my brother. You are in the capable hands of a young jaguar woman in training, here. I hope she will share all her adventures, of which there are many, with you as you eat."

Inca rose and went over to slide the bandoleers over her head and pick up her web belt, which she methodically buckled around her waist. "I will be around if you need me again," she called to them, and lifted her hand.

Ari raised her hand. "Do you
have
to leave, Inca?" She saw the woman lean over and pick up her rifle, which was never far from her hand.

Straightening, Inca laughed. "Are you not tired of confronting all your fears daily with me around?"

Ari stood and went over to her. The dusk was deepening around them, the sky an apricot hue. The shadows emphasized Inca's strong, caring features. "How can I ever repay you?"

Sliding the leather sling of the rifle across her left shoulder, the butt of the rifle up so that rain would not leak down into the barrel and rust it, she eyed
Rafe
, who was watching them as he ate. "Take care of him, little sister," she told her in a whisper. Inca touched her arm. "He is grieving. Things did not go well for him down in the other village. He needs you. Be there for him?"

Shaken by the growl in Inca's lowered tone, Ari said, "Of course I will."

"Good." Inca stepped away from her. She raised her hand in
Rafe's
direction. "I will be near if you call."

"Thanks, Inca…" he said wearily, and lifted his hand in farewell
. "
Thanks for taking care of Ari while I was gone."

Inca laughed. It was more a roughened purr. "She is
not
the same shadow you left behind, my brother. This is a woman who is learning to be a jaguar."

Rafe
grinned tiredly. "I was hoping you'd show her the ropes."

Ari said goodbye to Inca, who turned, trotted down the path toward the
Juma
village, and was quickly swallowed up by the jungle. Turning, Ari sighed and walked back to the campfire.
Rafe
followed her progress, and she saw that smoldering look that always lingered in his eyes when he stared at her. It made her feel good and strong about herself as a woman.
As a person.
Sitting down near him, she picked up her sketchbook and automatically placed it in her lap.

"You look tired,
Rafe
. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Nothing that a hot shower and about twelve hours of sleep won't fix," he told her. Using the last of the bread, he wiped the bottom of his plate.