He’s here! He came!
A moment later, Alex and Nolan
were walking up the aisle hand in hand,
and I found myself completely choked
up. They looked so happy, so in love, so
sure of themselves. I thought about what
it had taken for them to get here—as a
gay couple, getting married wasn’t
something they took for granted—and I
felt lucky to witness it.
I peeked out at Quinn. He smiled at
me—not huge, but it made my heart
pound all the same. I started thinking
about what I was going to say to him and
realized I was totally unprepared.
Damn it! How dare he surprise me
like this! I wanted to get it right this
time, and I hadn’t practiced!
OK, no panicking. Maybe it will be
even better if it’s unrehearsed…just say
what you’re feeling without holding
back.
When the grooms kissed to seal their
union, my eyes filled, and my heart
thumped with joy. When they embraced
each other and I saw the tears on
Nolan’s face, I gave up trying to stem the
tide, and let mine fall too.
Love was real, and it was worth
celebrating.
I ONLY HAD a few minutes between
the ceremony and the elaborate photo
shoot Nolan had planned, and I had to
use most of it to repair my eye makeup,
but I was dying to get to Quinn. After I
touched up my face in the bathroom, I
hurried back into the reception room,
where guests were mingling with drinks
in their hands, talking and listening to
live jazz. My eyes skimmed the crowd,
but I didn’t see him right away.
A hand touched my shoulder.
“Jaime.”
I turned, and at the nearness of him,
my breath caught. Without thinking, I
threw my arms around his neck and
hugged him tight. “Oh my God! What are
you doing here?”
“I rearranged a few things. I actually
have to fly back to London tomorrow
night.”
Surprised, I stepped back. “You do?
When did you fly in?”
“Today.”
“You flew in for one night?”
“I wanted to be here.”
I smiled. “Alex will be so happy.”
“It wasn’t all for Alex,” he said
quietly. “I wanted to see you too. You
look gorgeous.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re wearing the necklace.”
“Of course I am.” As I touched the
circle pendant, I heard my name being
called and looked over to see the
coordinator gesturing for me to come
with her. “Crap. I have to go take
pictures. But I want to talk to you.”
“It’s OK. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good. I’m not either.” Impulsively,
I took his face in my hands and kissed
him full on the lips. “I mean it, Quinn.
I’m here, I’m yours, I love you, and I
want this for us.”
“You do?” Grinning, he looked
around. “All this?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Maybe not the
two hundred people.”
Deep breath.
“But
lately I’ve been really inspired by Alex
and Nolan, and I’ve been thinking a lot
about what you said about falling in
love, and staying in it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You were right—I didn't let
myself believe in love, because I was
scared to give someone else that kind of
power over me, and I’ve never been
very good at sharing myself with anyone.
It seemed so much easier to dismiss it as
fiction.”
“It is easier.”
“But I don’t want to do that anymore.
I need you in my life.” I heard my name
being called again. “Gah. Too much
going on at once.”
“It’s OK.” He kissed my forehead. “I
understand.”
“I have to go outside. Wait for me
here?”
“As long as it takes.”
I smiled at him before hurrying
toward the exit, my heart pounding as
quickly as my heels on the wood.
THIRTY
QUINN
WHILE JAIME WAS GONE, I had a
drink and chatted with a couple high
school friends, but my mind was
completely focused on her. She looked
and sounded so
different
. I mean, she
looked beautiful, like she always did,
but her expression when she told me she
loved me was so guileless and natural. I
heard nothing false in her voice, saw no
lie in her eyes. Prior to tonight, the only
other times I’d seen her look that open
and honest was during sex.
It was such a fucking relief.
While in London, I’d second-
guessed myself a thousand times for
walking away from her at Alex’s party.
You asshole, you love her! Why do you
have to be so hard on her?
I felt like I owed her an apology for that. But in the
end, I always came to the same
conclusion—if she was going to remain
closed off to the possibility of a future, if
she was truly only in this for the fun of it,
if she was the kind of person who would
leave whenever she felt threatened by
her feelings or mine…I couldn’t be with
her.
But I’d missed her. And every night,
I hoped what I’d said was getting
through to her, and she just needed time.
When she’d texted me that she
wanted to talk, I couldn’t wait to get
home and find out.
Thankfully, the photographer I was
shooting with in London felt bad enough
about the scheduling mix-up that she
agreed to finish up on Monday instead of
today, which was how I’d been able to
take the quick trip. It would be terrible
having to leave again tomorrow, but at
least this time, I’d know I was coming
home to something good.
Something beautiful
, I thought as
Jaime entered the room and walked
toward me.
Something that matters to
me.
“Hey,” she said as I kissed her
cheek.
“Hey. Have I told you how fucking
spectacular you look in that dress?”
She laughed. “Maybe. But you can
keep telling me.”
I slipped an arm around her waist
and spoke in her ear. “You look fucking
spectacular in that dress, but I think it
will look even
more
spectacular on my
new bedroom floor. Let’s go find out.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that but I
think my brother would kill me if I left
before the big toast.”
“That’s right.” I let go of her and
studied her face. “Are you nervous?”
She tilted a hand side to side, fingers
stretched. “A bit. I mean, I know what I
want to say. I just hope I get through it.”
“You will. I have faith.” People had
begun sitting down for dinner, but there
were some things I wanted to say to her
before I went to my table. “Listen, I want
to apologize for the way I treated you at
Alex’s that night. I was hard on you.”
“You were,” she agreed. “But those
were things I needed to hear, so no
apology necessary. If you’d been sweet
about it, I probably wouldn’t have taken
them to heart. I needed the hard words.”
I gave her my best smolder. “I have
lots of hard things for you. Not just
words.”
“So thoughtful,” she said before
slapping my arm. “Now stop trying to
distract me with your dick when I’m
supposed to be composing myself to
speak in front of this crowd. You’re
riling me up.”
“Sorry not sorry. And you were the
one who brought up hard things, not me.
I was just trying to apologize. But if you
won’t let me do that, then let me do
this.” I wrapped her up in my arms and
pulled her close. “I know you don’t love
hugging in public and I’ll let you go in a
moment, but I need to hold you and tell
you how much it means to me that you
changed your mind about us.”
“Quinn, don’t.”
I froze. “Don’t?”
Her arms tightened around my waist.
“Don’t let me go.”
LUCKY FOR ME, there was an empty
seat at the table where Jaime was sitting
with Alex and Nolan, Sean and his wife,
and another couple I recognized from
Alex’s birthday. The staff set a place for
me, and Jaime held my hand under the
table as the champagne was poured and
someone handed a microphone to Nolan.
He stood, and the room hushed.
“Thank you all for being here with us
tonight. It means so much to Alex and me
to see so many friends and family here
celebrating together. One of the first
things Alex told me about himself was
how close he was to his sister, and I’m
proud to call her
my
sister now, too.” He looked at Jaime, and she smiled back,
touching her hand to her heart. “She’s
agreed to kick off tonight’s reception by
saying a few words, so I’ll turn the mic
over to her for a toast.”
I squeezed Jaime’s hand before
letting it go, and she stood up, smoothed
her dress, and took the mic from Nolan.
“Thank you, Nolan, for the sweet
introduction. Some girls might grow up
wishing they had a sister, but not me.
I’ve always thought another brother
would be awesome, and I’m glad it’s
you. I love you both.”
The crowd awwww’d collectively,
and she smiled again at the grooms
before turning toward the guests.
“For the last year, ever since Alex
and Nolan asked me to make this toast,
I’ve been panicking about it. What could
I say about love and life that would
mean something to them…” She glanced
at the grooms. “And to you? Should I
quote The Bard? The Bible? The
Beatles?”
I grinned and she gave me a quick
wink.
“I hunted around for the perfect
lines, hoping to unearth something
brilliant and beautiful, words that would
unlock the mystery of love to a skeptic
like me. Surely there was a secret to be
discovered and shared.” She paused.
“But I couldn’t find it. Nothing
resonated. Nothing rang true. Love was
just as mysterious as ever. So mysterious
that I finally broke down and asked my
big brother, ‘
What’s the secret
?’
Because when you look at these two…”
She gestured toward Alex and Nolan.
“You know that they know it.”
After a pause, she went on. “And my
brother said to me, ‘Jaime, there is no
secret. There is no magic. There is no
way to know what the future holds. The
point is that you’re willing to take a
chance.’” She took a breath. “I thought a
lot about that in the following days. And
I realized he was right—love isn’t a
secret to be unlocked, or a mystery to be
solved. And marriage isn’t the mystical
union of two souls whose fate is written
in the stars.” Her voice got stronger.
“It’s a feeling, followed by a choice
made in the face of chaos and
uncertainty: I don’t know where this
road will take me, but I want you by my
side on the journey.” She glanced at me
briefly, and my body warmed. “It’s a
leap of faith, and what a privilege it was
to be here today and watch these two
make it.”
Smiling, she went on. “I
am
going to
disagree slightly, though—what kind of
kid sister would I be if I didn’t?” She
waited until the chuckling died down
and turned to Alex and Nolan. “There
is
magic in a love like yours. Not the kind
that can be seen or touched or explained,
but the kind a person can feel when they
look at you together. The kind that makes
a person believe.” She paused for a
moment, glanced at me, and then turned
back to the crowd. “To Alex and Nolan
—may the rest of their journey be as
beautiful as their leap was today, and
may we all be there to witness it!”
“To Alex and Nolan!” someone
echoed, followed by a chorus of well
wishes throughout the room.
I picked up my champagne and
drank, so proud of Jaime I was bursting
with it, and so in love with her I could
hardly sit still. I watched as she went
around the table to the grooms, hugging
and kissing each of them, lingering a
long time in Alex’s arms. After giving
the mic back to the band’s vocalist, she
returned to her chair, which I pulled out
for her. Once I sat down again, I took her
face in my hands and kissed her hard on
the lips.
She looked relieved. “Oh my God,
I’m glad that’s over. How did I do? Too
much Cheez Whiz?”
“Not nearly. You were great. It was
beautiful and heartfelt.”
“Thanks.”
“So you’re really a believer now,
huh?”
That earned me a coy smile and
playful lift of her shoulders. “Maybe.”
“I’ll take it.” I planted a kiss on her
nose. “Love bug.”
She gave me a horrified look and
scooted her chair away from me, making
me grin from ear to ear.
She might believe in love, but she
was still my Jaime—fire and ice all at