Making the Connection: Strategies to Build Effective Personal Relationships (Collection) (23 page)

pronouns
50

public

arguing in
91
–
4

presentation in meetings
93

speaking in
91
–
3

quotes, using
92

readiness of other person
20

realistic, being
5

reasonableness, complaining
158

reconciliation, partners
127
–
8

red herrings
76

relationships, maintaining
113
–
17

repetition
12
–
13

repetitive arguments
see
continual arguments

resolving argument
186

at work
150
–
1

using humor
32
–
3
,
187
–
8

respect of other person
48
–
9

responding to arguments
55
–
63

challenging conclusions
59
–
60

challenging the facts
57
–
9

challenging with other factors
60
–
2

rewards, children
135
–
6

Roosevelt, Franklin D.
197

Russell, Bertrand
6

secret bids
109

“Serenity Prayer, The”
189

services

complaining about
155
–
64

getting help
162
–
3

legal rights
162

silence, power of
86
–
7

slippery slopes
82
–
3

Smith, Al
39

start of argument
29

statistics

bias
9

presentation
11

reliability
9
–
11

sample
9
–
10

straw men
85
–
6

teachers
see
experts

teenagers
143
–
4

see also
children

temper

controlling
124

losing at work
150

terminology
38

third parties
109

threats, use of, children
134
–
5

timing
124

arguments at work
148

triggers
191

two wrongs argument
86

violence
124

walk away, learning to
200

“we,” use of word
50

what if?
84

winning argument
117
,
207
–
10

giving way out
207
–
8

involving loser
208

seeking agreement
208

work, arguments at
147
–
52

avoiding
147
–
8

discussion, encouraging
149
–
50

healing after argument
151
–
2

honesty
150
–
1

losing temper
150

place
148

putting business first
148
–
9

resolving issues
150
–
1

time
148

written argument
97
–
102

blogs
98
,
101

email
98
–
100

guidelines
97
–
8

opening words
97

wrong, arguing when you are
177
–
82

accepting you have lost
178

apologizing
180
–
2

ending argument
179

The Personal Credibility Factor

How to Get It, Keep It, and Get It Back, (If You’ve Lost It)

Sandy Allgeier

Vice President, Publisher: Tim Moore
Associate Publisher and Director of Marketing: Amy Neidlinger
Acquisitions Editor: Jennifer Simon
Editorial Assistant: Myesha Graham
Development Editor: Russ Hall
Operations Manager: Gina Kanouse
Digital Marketing Manager: Julie Phifer
Publicity Manager: Laura Czaja
Assistant Marketing Manager: Megan Colvin
Cover Designer: Chuti Prasertsith
Managing Editor: Kristy Hart
Project Editor: Anne Goebel
Copy Editor: Karen Annett
Senior Compositor/Interior Designer: Gloria Schurick
Manufacturing Buyer: Dan Uhrig

© 2009 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Publishing as FT Press
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458

FT Press offers excellent discounts on this book when ordered in quantity for bulk purchases or special sales. For more information, please contact U.S. Corporate and Government Sales, 1-800-382-3419,
[email protected]
. For sales outside the U.S., please contact International Sales at
[email protected]
.

Company and product names mentioned herein are the trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing February 2009

ISBN-10: 0-13-208279-9

ISBN-13: 978-0-13-208279-2

Pearson Education LTD.
Pearson Education Australia PTY, Limited.
Pearson Education Singapore, Pte. Ltd.
Pearson Education North Asia, Ltd.
Pearson Education Canada, Ltd.
Pearson Educatión de Mexico, S.A. de C.V.
Pearson Education—Japan
Pearson Education Malaysia, Pte. Ltd.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Allgeier, Sandy
  The personal credibility factor / Sandy Allgeier.
        p. cm.
 ISBN 0-13-208279-9 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Respect for persons. 2. Self-esteem. I. Title.
  BJ1533.R42A45 2009
  170'.44—dc22
                                                                            2008007863

Praise for
The Personal Credibility Factor

“The new ‘PC’ isn’t ‘political correctness’—it’s ‘personal credibility.’ This book is a needed reminder that no matter how old you are or what you’ve accomplished in life, you are never, ever done learning about yourself or those around you. From the easier-said-than-done resolution to avoid gossip to the it’s-as-hard-as-it-sounds process of building up your self-awareness, Allgeier has filled her book with the life lessons we never seem to fully learn the first time we hear them. (Or maybe that’s just me!)”

—
Mike Staver
, CEO of The Staver Group; author of
Do You Know How to Shut Up? And 51 Other Life Lessons That Will Make You Uncomfortable

“To be an effective leader, you
must
be trustworthy. If people don’t trust you, they won’t follow you. And if they won’t follow you, your organization won’t meet its goals. Sandy Allgeier explains that personal credibility comes down to a simple truth: It’s not about the type of person you
are
; it’s about the types of things you
do
. If you want to be a great leader, read
The Personal Credibility Factor
.”

—
Quint Studer
, CEO and founder of Studer Group
^®
; bestselling author of
Results That Last: Hardwiring Behaviors That Will Take Your Company to the Top
and
Hardwiring Excellence: Purpose, Worthwhile Work, Making a Difference

“Personal credibility has everything to do with how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves. Sandy Allgeier’s book teaches the all-important truth that it doesn’t matter how much money, status, or power you have if nobody believes in you. Every parent should read
The Personal Credibility Factor
and instill its lessons in their kids. Achieving a full understanding of these principles is the first step in becoming a truly great human being.”

—
Michele Borba
, Ed.D., internationally renowned educator; award-winning author of 21 books including
12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids; Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!; and No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them

“Sandy Allgeier succinctly conveys how critical it is to earn the respect of those around you. It’s true: Being respected propels you forward in life like nothing else. And all is not lost when you make a mistake—Allgeier includes a much-appreciated chapter on how we can win back personal credibility when we’ve faltered.
The Personal Credibility Factor
will teach anyone who reads it how to become a better, more authentic, more successful human being.”

—
Dr. Nido R. Qubein
, President, High Point University; Chairman, Great Harvest Bread Co.

“Between these covers lies the stuff great organizations are made of. If you’re a business owner or leader, I suggest you make
The Personal Credibility Factor
required reading for your employees and yourself. You’ll learn the importance of authenticity, of transparency, of asking yourself on a daily basis if you’re striving to be the best person you can be. If everyone in your organization reads this book, not only will it be a better place to work, but I guarantee you your customers will be happier, too.”

—
Jeffrey A. Miller
, CEO of Jeffrey Miller + Associates; author of
The Anxious Organization: Why Smart Companies Do Dumb Things

“I found myself nodding in agreement as I turned the pages of
The Personal Credibility Factor
. It proves the lesson I learned as a child—one I now pass on to my students—is true: Your actions
do
speak louder than your words. Sandy Allgeier’s book spells out the basics of building personal credibility in an eloquent, readable way. In fact, I plan to start recommending it to my students and their parents!”

—
Tom Bloch
, former CEO of H&R Block; currently a middle school math teacher, board president, and cofounder of University Academy; author of
Stand for the Best: What I Learned after Leaving My Job as CEO of H&R Block to Become a Teacher and Founder of an Inner-City Charter School

“Personal credibility is a key factor for success in any organization. The ability of HR professionals to assess the presence or absence of this quality in others is critical. Filling an organization with people who score high in personal credibility should be the goal of everyone in the field. This book will teach you how!”

—
Barbara Sadek
, Director of Education, Society for Human Resource Management

“I’ve learned over the years that there is no greater asset than personal credibility. Ms. Allgeier wonderfully conveys that lesson in her great new book! Whether you’re just starting out or have been working for decades, read this book and watch your career and your life improve exponentially. It’s never too late.”

—
Mike Sims
, Senior Principal, High Point Partners

“Sandy Allgeier is the poster child for personal credibility! She not only lives it and breathes it, but she also teaches it and communicates its principles effectively to audiences of all kinds. Her high energy, confident style, and warmth engage her audiences, enabling them to change their behaviors and make a difference in their work lives and personal lives. Her new book is bound to be a classic found on every manager’s and employee’s bookshelf.”

—
Cathy Fyock
, CSP, SPHR, consultant, author, Resources Global Professionals

“Whether it’s advice on how to interact with others or insights on how to evaluate your own personal credibility, Sandy Allgeier delivers. As a leader in business and now in the college classroom, I know that I can be effective only if those I lead think highly of me. This excellent book validates that truth.”

—
Elaine Robinson
, Executive in Residence, University of Louisville College of Business; formerly Vice President and Treasurer, Providian Corporation

“
The Personal Credibility Factor
is filled with practical advice about how to improve the most important resource we possess—our credibility. Whether you want to hone your business skills or enhance your personal relationships, Sandy Allgeier helps you examine yourself and create a personal game plan to improve. I hope everyone who reads her book will be inspired to become more influential, more authentic, and more trustworthy human beings.”

—
Gregg Dedrick
, President, KFC Corp.

“Personal credibility is one of those concepts that’s hard to define and hard to break down into elements. But Sandy Allgeier has done it beautifully in
The Personal Credibility Factor
. I cannot think of anyone who won’t benefit from this book regardless of profession, age, or status in life. Plus, the author has presented them in a way that is easy to understand and a pleasure to read!”