MacLarens of Balmorie 05 - Once Upon A Time In Scotland (13 page)

Abbie
wasn't thinking in the here and now. She wasn't thinking in the coming weeks, but was thinking of the aftermath, and from where she was standing—from where her heart was standing—it wouldn't be pretty.

And yet she wanted the dream.

The conflict tugged her in two directions, making it so she couldn't chose one or the other.

“You're so easy to read,” he said, his tone faint with regret. “I do understand,
Abbie
. I can stand here and tell you we can overcome logistics and what have you...” He released her hand and left the ribbon in her palm. “But I can no' make you believe it. You'll have to do that on your own.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Think about it.”

And then he was gone, leaving her standing in the cheery kitchen feeling like her heart was already breaking.

She felt sick.

She closed her fist around the ribbon and felt for the kitchen chair, pulled it out and plopped down. What kind of man just waltzes in and lays it all on the line like that?

Goddamn it. She totally blew it. Just freaking blew it.

Because she was afraid. On one hand, she understood very well that if she always played it safe, she'd never really live and she'd lose out on wonderful opportunities. On the other, her fears and concerns were legit.

Carefully, she folded the ribbon and placed it on the table with a heavy heart.

CHAPTER 13

Horrified.

Aye, that about summed up the look on
Abbie's
face. Liam shook his head, slammed his truck into park, got out, and strode to the east wall of Malcolm's abbey. She'd told him that he didn't understand. Of course the hell he did! How could he not? Did she think he wasn't just as worried, afraid, and concerned about
the end
?

She wasn't going to take the chance.

He saw it plain as day in her eyes.

And nothing had gone as planned because she'd answered the door in those sexy glasses and ponytail and tight black pants that he almost had a fucking heart attack. Not that her answer would have been different, but at least he would've been a bit smoother, perhaps more convincing, and perhaps not as humiliated.

He'd told himself that if he went through with it, if he faced
Abbie
and laid it all on the line, the doing so would prove to him that his feelings ran deep. And, apparently, they did.

And now he was feeling the brunt of them.

The sound of an electric saw greeted him as he came around the corner. A halo of wood chips and sawdust surrounded Malcolm. The day was warm, the work was hard, and Liam was ready to dig in and get started. The harder the better.

The saw stopped, Malcolm lifted his goggles and glanced over his shoulder. His eyes narrowed and Liam felt like the big brute could see right into his angry soul. Malcolm didn't say a word, just nodded to the large pieces of lumber that had already been measured and cut. “Those can go to the second floor.”

Liam nodded and went right to work, hoisting several on his shoulder and striding into the house.

Aye,the
harder, the better.

* * *

Abbie
tried to work, but couldn't wrap her head around fiction; her real life drama completely overtaking every thought and every attempt to focus.

“Fine,” she muttered to no one, shut her laptop, and went hunting for her sneakers.

A few minutes later, she was outside, walking the bike down the gravel driveway in hopes a little fresh air and exercise would put her in the right frame of mind.

The day was beautiful and bright, such a contrast to the chaos swirling around inside her. As she walked the bike along the track, her thoughts went back to earlier, before Liam had shown up. She'd called her parents, catching them at breakfast.

Nine weeks total was a long time to be away from her kid. She was worried about Logan and missing him.

“He has no concept of time, Abigail,” her mother had said when she expressed her concern. “If you're ever going to go away and have time to yourself, now's the time. Besides, he talks to
you
everyday
. He's not going to forget you,” her mother had said with a smile in her voice.

They'd gone on to talk about
Balmorie
and
Abbie
had told her about Riley's engagement party, the beautiful chapel, and her work.

“I hope you know how jealous your father and I are,” her mother had said.

“You can always come over.” After the words left her mouth—put there, no doubt by Riley's encouragement—
Abbie
forged ahead, curious what the reaction would be. “Book a room in the castle or rent one of the cottages. I've been thinking of bringing Logan next time.” Had Riley been right? Was it simpler than
Abbie
seemed to think? “It's so beautiful here, mom,” she found herself speaking from her heart. “There's just something so . . . right about this place. I wish you could see it.”

Her mother was quiet for a moment. And then she said, “Oh dear. Logan just poured his chocolate milk into Miss Kitty's food bowl. I'll call you later.”

Abbie
had laughed, said a quick goodbye, and hung up, feeling completely unsettled.

She swung her leg over the bike and started pedaling down the road. The thing was, even had she not met Liam, her love of the area wouldn't have changed. Before she'd gotten to know him, she'd truly felt a connection with the place. It was unlike anything she'd experienced anywhere else. It was as though some deep part of her had taken a breath of
Balmorie
air, soaked in the beauty of the landscape, and sighed a contented sigh, like she'd found a good place.

A really good place

As she reached the top, the ruins of Castle
MacLaren
came into view and her insides did that 'sigh” again. But this time, it hurt a little. Because Liam had kissed her there. And now he was asking her to be with him, to 'date', and spend time getting to know each other. The next six weeks could be unforgettable.

She didn't go down the hill and instead chose to head along a small footpath that led to a bench she'd been frequenting since she'd arrived. It was the perfect spot overlooking the castle and the loch.

“Oh.” Someone was sitting on the bench. “Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt...”

The woman jumped, her hand flying to her chest in surprise.
Abbie
was equally surprised, immediately recognizing the woman she'd mistakenly thought had been Liam's date for Riley and Jamie's party.

For a moment, she wasn't sure what to say, so she stared out over the landscape. “It's ridiculous, isn't it? How pretty it is.”

“You're American.”

“So are you,”
Abbie
said, smiling. “Staying at the castle?”

She nodded. “You?”

“Been renting one of the cottages. Third week.”

“Wow, that's a long time.”

There was something sad about the woman. Her eyes were glassy, her mouth tight.

“Have six more weeks left.” Feeling like she was intruding,
Abbie
said, “Well, I'll leave you to your solitude. It's a nice place to come and think.”

“You don't have to leave.” The woman made room on the bench and then seemed to chew over her next words. “If you don't mind me asking, why so long?”

Abbie
parked the bike and sat down.

“I'm Harper,” the woman said, smiling.

Ah, that's right. Liam had mentioned the name. “
Abbie
. The 'so long' is because I'm on a working retreat. What about you?”

Harper snorted and shook her head as though that question held a vast, complicated answer. “Long story. Lost loves, regrets, past coming back to haunt you,” she confided with wry humor. “That sort of thing.”

Well,
Abbie
could definitely relate to the potential for lost love and regret. What a mess she was in, and she had the feeling Harper had found herself in one, too. One having to do with Liam's brother if she remembered correctly. “Well, in some cases,”
Abbie
began, wanting to help and hoping she wasn't overstepping. “regrets aren't so bad. Means you have something
to
regret. Instead of playing it safe and never doing anything at all.” And that was the problem, wasn't it? Did she want to end up like that? To live with regret?

Harper seemed to consider her words. “Good point.”

“Apparently, I'm full of them. Or so my friends say. You probably met them. They're staying in the cottage behind the castle.” Well, they had been anyway. Blake and Mia had gone back to their lives in the States.

“Riley's friends?”

“Mine as well. I came a little earlier than everyone else and decided to stay on after they left. Riley and I met in a creative writing class in college... She's a travel writer. I write mysteries. Do you know her?”

“Yes, but not very well.”

“She and James... Beautiful couple.” As she stared at the ruins, the memory of Liam came to her, standing by the water, the breeze ruffling his hair, the bad boy smile... “This place is full of beautiful things. And people.”

Harper let out a half laugh. “Tell me about it.”

They fell silent, both lost in thought, both gazing over the landscape. “Well,”
Abbie
said at length, getting up, “good luck with your, uh...long story.”

“Good luck with yours. I'll remember what you said about regrets,” Harper's eyes went narrow and
Abbie
realized the woman was very astute when she said, “if you do the same.”

Abbie
couldn't help but laugh. Truth was the truth, wasn't it? She kicked the stand to the bike. “Single mom here. Taking risks kind of diminishes when you have a kid to consider. And I wouldn't change that for the world, so I'm good. Nice meeting you, Harper.”

“You, too.”

Abbie
hopped on the bike, pedaled back to the track and then let the bike coast slowly down the hill, avoiding the pot holes and ruts as she aimed for the ruins below.

CHAPTER 14

Abbie
stayed at the ruins late into the afternoon, exploring, sitting by the water, and taking photographs. She gave herself plenty of time to think about Liam's proposal, which of course led to a lengthy examination of her own life. The sky had grown as tumultuous as her thoughts and for a while she remained under the darkening clouds, letting her thoughts roll and turn.

The wind picked up and the water on the loch whipped into a frenzy.

Realizing she'd stayed too long and the storm was upon her, she shoved her camera into her bag and jogged to the bike. By the time she made it to the side of the road, the sky broke apart and graced the land with a hard downpour. In an instant, her clothes were soaked. Rain ran down her face and dripped off the end of her nose as she struggled with the kickstand.

Her T-shirt stuck to her skin and all she could hear was the pounding of the rain. The wind sent chills racing along her skin. When she finally got the stand up and faced the hill, wiping the continuous water from her eyes, she found the hill had turned into a giant water slide. She'd have to stick to the tall grass on the side of the road or she'd never make it up. Or she could take cover in the ruined castle and wait out the storm. It was tempting, but then who knew how long the rain would last and she'd likely freeze while waiting.