MacAlister's Hope (9 page)

He slid his hand up her thigh, under her kirtle and cupped her bottom, pulling her harder against him, moving against her slowly, seducing her senses and her body until she was a haze of need, a maelstrom of desire. She pulled at his tunic, needing to touch him, needing his skin against hers as she’d never needed anything before. Quickly, he pulled the tunic over his head, then sat her up to divest her of her kirtle. They sat there, breathing hard, just looking at each other.

“You are so lovely, my Fia,” he whispered as he reached out to run the backs of his fingers over her breast and down her belly, stopping just as he reached the apex of her thighs.

“And you are the brawest man I have ever seen,” she said, mesmerized by his touch.

He pressed her back and settled himself between her thighs, kissing her and moving against her until she thought she might die from wanting him.

“Kieron, please,” she whispered. She knew what must happen next, though only from the gossip of other lasses newly bedded, but she had not understood the desire that fueled such couplings. The need to join with him, the desire to share this ultimate intimacy with the man she loved with all her heart, had her writhing beneath him. “Please, love.”

Kieron stilled and looked her in the eyes, his own filled with more tenderness than she ever thought possible, and as he kept her gaze locked with his, he slowly filled her, pausing as they both felt the tug of resistance. “’Twill hurt, love, but only for a moment.”

She nodded and he retreated, then surged into her. She gasped, but more from the incredible feeling of being one with him than from the swift flash of pain.

He stilled. “Are you all right?” His tone was worried but she could only smile up at him and hook her leg over his hip again as she tried to get even closer.

“That is not all there is to this, is it?” She smiled at him and let her instincts guide her movements.

He groaned, and kissed her, then began to move with her, into her, over and over, driving her up into heights she had never known, spinning, flying, until they both cried out their joy.

Annis watched as Kieron pulled Fia from the hall and as soon as she could, she slipped away from the gathering. Imagine, a ceilidh to celebrate Fia healing the chief. She’d probably done nothing more than let the man heal on his own, but as usual, Fia was deemed remarkable though Annis could never understand why.

Annis stood in the shadow at the top of the outer stair, letting her eyes adjust to the night, but she could not see Fia or Kieron anywhere. She started down the stair, fuming that she had been shut away in that tiny dank cottage while the scrawny, fey Fia was deemed remarkable. It was bad enough that Fia always got whatever she wanted, with the entire MacLachlan clan doting over her every whim just because she was orphaned, as if that were something unusual. But now she’d managed the same feat with the MacAlisters, so much so that Kieron could look at no one but Fia, and men and women alike smiled fondly at her while scowling at Annis.

And why did they scowl? She had not harmed the chief. She had only failed to mention that the willow was destroyed and Fia treated her as if she had committed some terrible crime. Just once, she would like to see Fia brought low, she would like Fia to learn what it was like to have everyone look at her like she was nothing special, just another lass amongst many.

A familiar voice drifted to her from somewhere past the last of the torches. A door opened, and closed again. Annis’s blood sped as she moved from shadow to shadow, sure now, at last, she would discover Fia in a less than perfect light.

At long last she would have something to hold over Fia, something that would take the light from her eyes and the smile from her lips should Elena and Symon learn of it. Something that would make Fia do whatever Annis wanted for a long time to come.

Fia lay with her head on Kieron’s chest, running her fingers lightly over his skin, remembering what they had done, what they had shared, until need began to build in her again. This was exactly where she wanted to be, in Kieron’s arms. Never had she felt so happy, so loved, so sure of what she wanted her future to hold.

But she could not turn her back on her family. She owed them everything, and until Kieron had walked into the bailey at Kilmartin Castle she had never imagined that her place with them might not be enough.

Guilt clawed into her heart. She loved her life at Kilmartin Castle. She had a family she loved, and who loved her. She had a calling with her herb lore, and had learned so much by working with Elena as her helper. She was comfortable there, but now she could see that she was lonely there, as well. Her heart had been lonely for the one person she was meant to share her life with only she hadn’t known it.

She knew it now.

Just the thought of returning to her life at Kilmartin hollowed out her heart.

She would give anything to stay here with Kieron, to wed with him, to make a family with him. She knew she would be welcome here, not only because Kieron loved her, but because she could take her place as their healer, too.

But it was impossible, as impossible for him to come with her as for her to stay here.

Nay, this was the time they had and maybe, when Mairi was fully trained and Elena was safely done having bairns, maybe then, if Kieron had not married already, maybe then, they could be together.

“Did you hear something?” Kieron asked, his voice rumbling in his chest against her ear.

“Nay,” she said, but she could not be certain she would have noticed anything while she was spiraling down into loneliness and misery.

“’Twas probably just a dog snuffling around outside for something to eat,” he said, pulling her more tightly to him. “We should return to the ceilidh before anyone comes in search of us.”

Fia sighed and let herself enjoy the slow beat of his heart against her cheek for a few more minutes.

When she knew she could not put off returning to the hallhouse any longer she slipped out of his warm embrace and shivered in the chill air of the dark cottage. “’Tis time the chief returned to his chamber. I’ll not have him making himself ill again when I must return to Kilmartin.” Her kirtle lay in a heap next to the bed. She grabbed it and slid it over her head. “I cannot delay going back.” She tried to keep her voice light, but she was certain he could hear the strain in it. “Elena’s time grows near and she’ll need me.” Fia barely contained a sob as she searched for her gown, finding it near the door.

Kieron had his tunic on now but grabbed her before she could tie the laces on her gown. “Let me,” he said, taking the ribbons from her hands and tying them carefully, if a little lopsidedly. When he finished, he pulled her back into his arms and laid his cheek against the crown of her head making her feel tiny and protected in the arms of her warrior, her friend, her love.

“I do not ken how, but we will find a way to be together, love,” Kieron said. “I cannot bear the thought of being parted from you again.”

“But you are needed here and I am needed there,” she said, blinking rapidly. She refused to cry over something that could not be changed.

“Aye, ’tis true, but there must be a way.” He ran the backs of his fingers over her cheek, then kissed her sweetly. “I love you, Fia, and I will find a way for us to be together.”

Fia pressed a kiss into his palm. “I love you, too,” she said but dared not hold onto hope that he would be successful.

Chapter Nine

Fia lay awake in the same bed she had shared with Kieron just a few hours earlier, his scent surrounding her as firmly as his arms had. As tired as she was after more than a sennight caring for the chief, Kieron’s scent in her bed kept her awake, reminding her of every caress, every whispered word they had shared there. Annis slept like a stone on a pallet across the small chamber. Oddly, she had not complained at all when Fia refused to share the bed with her.

When the sky began to lighten, Fia rose, woke Annis, and packed her things quickly, anxious to see Kieron again. As she made her way from the cottage to the stable, Kieron fell into step beside her. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and hold him one last time, but she only took his hand in hers. He threaded his finger through hers, but the look in his eyes told her he wanted much more. She squeezed his hand and simply said, “Good morn.”

Annis caught up with them at just that moment, walking beside Fia, and so they said nothing more. Tavish awaited them at the stable.

“My da wanted me to tell you again,” he said to Fia, “that you have his thanks and gratitude for taking such good care of him.” He looked down for a moment, then glanced at Kieron before looking back at Fia. “Kier was right about you. I apologize for doubting your skill. You are welcome here, you ken? Anytime. And we hope you will return here soon.” Now he glared at Annis. “But do not bring that one back with you. She is not welcome.”

“I thank you for that, the apology and the invitation to return. And I will promise, if I should return, Annis will not. I do not think Elena will allow her out of Kilmartin Castle once she learns what has passed here,” Fia said. “I am sorry for bringing her this time.”

Annis started to defend herself but Fia just glared at her. “I am glad I was of service to your father, and I do hope to return here one day.”

Kieron’s grip tightened on her hand. “Very soon,” he said. “I hope.”

Before dawn even broke, Tavish stood in the lane waving at them as Kieron led the way out of Kilglashan. Fia rode behind him, followed by Annis. Brodie brought up the rear. The silence of the group made the sound of the horses loud in her ears. The birds woke with the sun, wrapping another layer of sound around the silent travelers.

She had not even tried to speak with Kieron on the journey, for anything she wanted to say she couldn’t say in front of their traveling companions. He had been just as silent, though she caught him looking back at her more than once as they traveled. When they stopped just as dusk was descending, they all set up camp, much as they had that first night out just eight days, and a lifetime, ago—the women settling their blankets near each other with the men across the way, a fire between them. Their meal was cold meat, cheese, and bannocks, but Brodie had brought a skin of whiskey with him which they shared as they ate.

Afterward Fia excused herself into the woods, hoping Kieron might follow so they could share one last private moment. When she turned to wait for him to catch up, she discovered it was Annis who followed.

“Why do you follow me?” Fia demanded. “I do not need your company to take care of my needs.” She was beyond irritated that the woman had interfered with what was probably the last time she might ever speak with Kieron alone, the last time she might kiss him goodbye. “Leave me.”

“Leave you?” Annis tilted her head as if she examined a particularly disgusting cow patty. Her arms were crossed and she leaned back on her heels just enough to add to the effect of disgust. “You think you can tell me what to do, Wee Fia of the fairy folk? Does Kieron ken you are called that?”

“You are the only one who still calls me that—and it would not matter if he did—and aye, I do think I can tell you what to do. You were sent to be
my
assistant and instead you sought to discredit me. You put the MacAlister’s recovery in peril.” Fia knew her voice was growing strident and that it was her remorse over parting with Kieron, tied up with guilt that she did not want to continue at Kilmartin as she had for so long, that drove her to lash out at the irritating Annis. But in truth the woman deserved a tongue-lashing. “’Tis a good thing young Mairi shows a talent for the herb lore for I will not waste any more of my time teaching you, and I shall make sure Elena sees that you are not trained by anyone else, either.”

Annis advanced on her but Fia held her ground. Annis only stopped when they were nearly nose-to-nose. “You will not tell Elena anything except that I was an exceptional assistant to you, and that I will be a better herbalist than you one day.”

“I would never—”

“You will, or I will tell Elena and Symon exactly what their precious Fia was up to with Kieron last night.” She let the threat hang in the air between them. When Fia did not respond, Annis added, “In the cottage?” She dropped her chin a fraction and looked at Fia through half-lowered lids. “I do not think they will be happy with you when they hear that you threw yourself at him, that you gave yourself to him without benefit of marriage.