Lush in Lace (4 page)

It was during my senior year of high school
that Rylan’s face began filtering into my sexual fantasies. I
thought about his body when I jerked off and even the odd time when
I was fucking a girl. My fantasies starring an eager, naked Rylan
Madden shook me to the core. I had no control over them, which left
me frustrated and helpless. I took my sexual frustration, anger,
and confusion out on Rylan, which drove an even bigger wedge
between us.

It was a terrible time for me. I didn’t want
to like men. I’d seen how difficult it was for Jamie, BJ, and even
Rylan to live everyday as gay men in a misguided heterosexual
world. I never wanted that. I wanted to be normal (if there was
such a thing).

Still, I found myself watching other guys in
the locker room. Not blatantly of course, just quick peeks to see
if the sight of other cocks would turn me on. They didn’t. All
other naked men kind of grossed me out. The only man my cock
responded to was Rylan.

Ultimately, my desire for Rylan was the
reason I eagerly accepted the full football scholarship I’d been
offered at a college far away from home. For the first semester, I
filled my schedule with random courses, not concerned with anything
other than getting away from Rylan and the feelings he stirred
within me. I needed space and time to understand the man I was
truly becoming.

The distance helped. During the years I was
away, the images and memories of Rylan faded. I dated girls but
fucked fewer than I did in high school. Sex didn’t hold the same
appeal anymore. Women didn’t challenge me mentally or physically. I
wasn’t remotely attracted to any other men during my short stint in
college and definitely not to any of my roommates or their friends
in the years after.

However, upon my return home to Virginia to
help with Jamie and BJ’s wedding, all those old feelings for and
fantasies about Rylan returned with a vengeance. Whenever I
pictured Rylan’s cocky smile or heard one of his snide comments, my
dick would start to swell.

Damn
. I flopped down onto the bed,
tossing my arm over my eyes, and tried to will away the erection
that was building.

What the hell is happening to me? I’m not
gay. I’m not attracted to men.

You’re attracted to Rylan though
, my
inner voice piped up.
You want him. You’ve always wanted
him.

Fuck
! I hissed, hating the fact that
my inner voice was right. I couldn’t describe how or why I wanted
Rylan because it made no sense to me, but I couldn’t change the
fact either. Not that I’d ever admit it to anyone. Hell, I could
still barely admit it to myself.

My cock began to ache beneath the
constricting denim of my jeans. Shifting, I grabbed my phone off
the nightstand and checked the time. Thankfully, there were still a
few minutes before I had to leave, so I could meet Rylan at the
mall and finish up some last minute best man errands for the
grooms.

Hastily I unzipped my pants, releasing my
hard length. With one hand I picked up the familiar quick rhythm
I’d perfected over the years while, with the other hand, I gently
fondled the lace panties that lay beside me on the bed. I closed my
eyes again and imagined wearing only the panties and stockings from
Rylan’s package. The thought had my cock thickening in my hand.

I wondered what Rylan would do if he saw me
as I was in my fantasy. Would he be intrigued? Disgusted? Would he
laugh at the big manly jock dressed in women’s clothes like a
sissy? Would he get hard? Would seeing me in satin and lace turn
him on or was his goal really just to humiliate me?

I continued to stroke, spreading the tiny
drops of precum around my thick, cut head with every pass. In my
fantasy, Rylan liked what he saw. His cock was hard. I could see it
bulging and tenting his pants. He’d beckon me toward him, and I’d
eagerly follow, his eyes never leaving my cock. As soon as I’d come
close enough, he’d reach out and touch me through the thin, white
lace. It’d be a slight touch, tracing the mushroom-shaped head of
my cock with only his fingertips, but it’d be enough.

“Oh shit! Uuuugghhh! Mmmmm, oh god,” I swore,
exploding in my hand at the thought of Rylan barely touching me.
Streams of thick, white cum shot out of my dick onto my bare
stomach and chest. I continued to pump my cock furiously, wanting
to draw out the sensations for as long as possible.

As I lay there, trying to catch my breath, I
wondered once more how I was going to make it through the next few
days with Rylan, as Jamie’s best man, constantly at my side.
Frustrated, I made my way to the bathroom, still shaky from the
impact of my orgasm. After washing and zipping up, I studied my
reflection in the mirror, frowning. Rylan’s teasing comments about
my size and strength filtered into my thoughts. It was clear he
wasn’t physically attracted to me. Not that I needed to be told I
wasn’t his type. I’d seen the pictures of Rylan’s boy toys on his
various social media sites over the years.

His boyfriends/lovers were all small, pale,
thin, and studious looking or in other words, the complete physical
opposite of me. I could never compete with that.

Do you want to?
My inner voice
asked.

No! Yes. Aw hell, I don’t know?

Throwing the hand towel down on the counter,
I grabbed a T-shirt I’d left behind earlier and stormed out the
door and down the hall.

“You know what? Fuck it!” I swore aloud as I
headed down the stairs.

In two days I’d have an extra grand in my
pocket.
Maybe it’ll be enough for a deposit on my own place far
away from Rylan
, I thought cheerily. Then I could go back to
forgetting all about him, back to my normal, heterosexual life.
Yeah, that sounds promising
, I lied to myself as I hit the
bottom step.

“Maybe you could ease up on the f-bombs a
little, Scottie?” A familiar female voice lovingly scolded me from
the entrance to the living room.

“Mom? What are you doing here?” I asked,
wrapping my arms around her in a big bear hug, unconcerned that I
was still shirtless. My mom always managed to cheer me up. I’d
missed her while I was away. It’d been just the two of us for so
many years after dad’s death and before she found BJ’s dad. Kurt
was a good man. He was a great dad and a fair and caring stepdad.
He made my mom smile often and treated her like the treasure she
was, which was all I’d ever asked for.

“We came to see you actually,” she said after
hugging me for several heartbeats.

“We?”

“We,” my mom confirmed, pulling me into the
living room behind her.

I’ll admit it rattled me to see both Rylan
and his mom seated there, especially since I just finished jacking
off to thoughts of him and was still shirtless. Kate Madden smiled
in greeting, but I was too focused on Rylan to do much more than
nod.

Oddly, he wasn’t unaffected by my presence
either. His expression morphed to one I’d never seen before. If I
didn’t know any better, I’d say it was desire written all over his
face. His gaze roamed over my broad chest, my nipples, my neck, my
arms, then wandered lower following the line of light-blond hairs
that led toward my groin.

I wasn’t expecting his eyes to devour me so
thoroughly and couldn’t will my body not to respond to his
assessing gaze. My nipples pebbled, and my cock twitched beneath my
zipper. I watched as Rylan casually took one of the throw pillows
from the seat beside him and subtly placed it over his lap.

Damn, maybe he wasn’t immune to me after
all?
Too bad I didn’t have a pillow readily available to cover
my own growing interest.

Hastily I tugged my shirt over my head and
turned my attention to Rylan’s mom. “Hey Mrs. Madden. What’s up?” I
asked, trying to sound casual.

Rylan answered instead. “Looks like you
weren’t aware of this little intervention either,” he bit out
sarcastically.

Kate Madden glared at her son. “It’s not an
intervention, Ry. We only want to ensure everything goes smoothly
for BJ and Jamie’s big day tomorrow.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” I asked, concerned.

The mothers gave each other a pointed
look.

“Because of us, dumb-ass,” Rylan snapped
back.

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Rylan,” Kate Madden
scolded her son.

“What?” he asked flippantly “It’s the truth.
You’re worried we’re gonna cause a scene and ruin the wedding,
which, under the circumstances, is a pretty reasonable assumption,
seeing as Lush and I don’t get along.”

I couldn’t help but take offense to his
words. “We get along.”

From the looks shared by the other three in
the room, it was clear no one else agreed with my statement.

“Since when do we get along?” Rylan
challenged.

“Since… well… um… Okay, so maybe we don’t
always get along,” I admitted reluctantly. “But that’s not my
fault.”

“Oh, it’s
my
fault then?” Rylan
snapped back testily.

I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You’re the one who has a problem with me because I’m not gay.”

He was out of his seat in an instant. “Are
you fucking serious?”

I took a step toward him, my shoulders back
and my chest pushed forward, ready for battle. “As a heart attack,”
I growled, still not quite sure how he managed to push my buttons
so easily.

Rylan didn’t back down. If anything, he
stepped closer to me. I respected his courage since most men would
easily have been intimidated by my size, but not this new,
confident Rylan.

“Boys! Boys! Boys!” Kate shouted, stepping
between us. “How about you both put away your testosterone club
membership cards and take a seat?” she offered facetiously,
motioning to the small love seat opposite from the couch. Although
Kate Madden posed her statement as a question, it was clear from
her scowl that she didn’t expect to be challenged.

We both settled into the narrow seat, as far
away from one another as possible, though our thighs still touched
in the crowded space.

“All we’re asking from you boys is a
truce.”

“At least until the wedding is over,” my mom
added, knowing it’d be unrealistic to ask for anything longer.

“Please,” both women pleaded in unison,
giving us their best wounded puppy dog faces.

“Fine,” I agreed, too easily swayed by their
manipulative show of solidarity.

“Fine,” Rylan grumbled reluctantly.

“Wonderful,” my mom cooed, clapping her hands
together in delight. “I knew you were reasonable young men. Now, I
think it would help set the tone for tomorrow if you tried saying
something nice about each other. You go first, Scottie.”

She knew I hated it when she called me
Scottie. Unfortunately, that never seemed to stop her.

“Seriously, Mom?” I whined, sounding more
like a ten-year-old boy than a twenty-five-year-old man. To make
matters worse, I could hear Rylan chuckling at my side.

The look on my mom’s face assured me she
wasn’t joking. I’d already figured out this whole “intervention,”
as Rylan put it, was my mom’s idea. She’d spent a lot of time in
therapy after my biological dad died and considered herself fully
qualified to play therapist when need be.

“Fine,” I huffed for the second time in less
than a minute. However, it took me another moment to think of
something nice to say about Rylan that wouldn’t give away my true
feelings for him.

“He’s not short,” I finally managed to offer,
surprising the group with my response.

“I said a compliment, Scottie!”

“What? That is a compliment. Most computer
geeks are short. He’s not,” I reasoned. Rylan matched my
six-foot-three frame almost perfectly. It was another reason why he
didn’t fit into the mold of the average geek.

“
Scott
!” my mother scolded.

“Okay, okay! I was only kidding—sort of,” I
mumbled with a smirk though Rylan no longer looked pleased. “I
guess I’d have to say that Rylan’s down to earth—for a genius.”

“Go on,” my mom encouraged.

I shrugged, turning slightly, so I could see
his reaction to my words. “He’s funny and confident. Most smart
guys are too serious and uptight. You’re not like that,” I added,
speaking directly to him now. “You try to see the positive in
people, even when they don’t deserve it, which isn’t always
easy.”

I noted the faint blush that spread across
Rylan’s cheeks, making him look that much more attractive. At the
rare sight of a smile curling on his lips, I realized I was at risk
of giving away my true feelings.

“That’s it,” I added with a shrug, trying to
appear casual.

“See, was that so hard?” my mom offered.

I followed Rylan’s lead from earlier and
reached for one of the decorative throw pillows, placing it on my
lap. I didn’t need Kate or my mom noticing how Rylan’s reaction
affected me.

“Now it’s your turn, Rylan,” my mom, Helen,
prompted.

Unlike me, he didn’t have to think before he
answered. “He’s a good brother,” Rylan offered immediately.

When his declaration was met with three
curious faces, he continued.

“He’s not always the sharpest tool in the
shed, but…”

“Ry,” his mom warned.

He turned to look directly at me. “You had
the guts to show up Friday night when most other straight guys
wouldn’t. You came for BJ because you’re a good brother. You’ve
always had his back and Jamie’s too. It’s refreshing.”

I could only imagine that my cheeks were as
red as Rylan’s had been a moment ago. He was right, however, the
only reason I was at the stag was for BJ. I wanted his wedding to
go off without a hitch. That meant avoiding any unnecessary
arguments or guilt over something gone awry during Jamie’s bachelor
party.

“They’re family,” I replied honestly in
response to Rylan’s statement.

I couldn’t love BJ anymore if he was my full
brother. We had a connection that true siblings don’t often share.
Hell, he’d even suspected I had feelings for Rylan. How he’d
figured out that bit of information was a mystery to me, since I’d
never said a word. Thankfully, like a true brother, BJ didn’t
pressure me to share more than I was willing. He simply shrugged,
letting me know he’d always be there for me when I needed to talk,
even if that meant talking about my feelings for his fiancé’s
brother. Jamie was just as supportive as BJ. He was like a second
big brother. They were family, no doubt about it.