“I suppose you think I should apologize now,” I said.
“No,” Ash said simply. “Not unless you want to.”
“Ash,” I said. “Something bad is coming. You have to help me stop it.”
“No, Candace,” he said. “As a matter of fact, I don’t. But if it makes you feel any better, I have heard rumors. I’m taking steps to protect myself.”
“And the Scheherazade?”
Ash made an impatient gesture. “I don’t give a damn about Randolph Glass’s toy. I will protect myself. Do my best to make sure innocent people don’t get hurt. And I will protect what I love. Don’t ask for more than that.”
“So that’s it,” I said. “You won’t help me.”
“On the contrary,” Ash said. “I am helping, more than you know. I don’t want you in this, Candace.”
“I’m already in it,” I said.
“Then step away.”
“No. You won’t do it. Why should I?”
“How about because I asked you to, Candace?”
Ash said.
“How about, because it’s important to me?
But wait a minute, I’m forgetting, aren’t I? It’s what you want that’s important, even if it means all you’re doing is running away. If you ever find the courage to stop, you might want to ask yourself why you’re in such a hurry to escape from the only thing you truly desire.”
“Meaning you,” I said.
“Meaning
us
,” Ash came right back. “Tell me something Candace: If this coup you suspect were to succeed, if I were no longer in the world, would you mourn for me?”
I opened my mouth,
then
shut it with a snap. I had imagined being free of Ash so many times. But never had I envisioned a world where he did not exist. That’s how deeply Ash was a part of me. I felt the sudden spill of tears across my cheeks, knew I had given us both an answer. If Ash were gone, I would survive, but I would never truly live without him. No wonder I was running away.
“I’m sorry,” Ash said at once. He came to me swiftly, drew me into his arms.
“So sorry, Candace.
I truly didn’t know.”
“I can’t,” I said. “I won’t.” And we both knew I wasn’t denying our passion, our impossible love. I was denying the possibility of Ash’s demise. “And I can’t believe you didn’t know. You always know everything, you
sonofabitch
.”
I felt a tremor move through him. I thought it might be laughter. “No. If I did, you couldn’t surprise me.” I lifted my head. He placed his fingers on the tracks of my tears. “Candace, Candace,” he whispered. “How I wish you would surprise me now.”
“How can I, when we both know what you want?”
“By giving it to me.”
I sank into the kiss, letting Ash’s need, his
hunger,
fill up every empty place inside. Until I could no longer tell where he ended and I began.
Until I no longer wanted to tell.
He lifted his head and I met his eyes. The expression in them was enough to strike me blind.
Before I could give myself time to think, I pulled back, out of his arms. One step, then another as Ash began to reach for me.
“No. Don’t.” With one fluid motion, I pulled the sweater I had worn over my head. Beneath it was the black lace corset, the one he had sent with the dress I’d refused to wear for him.
“Well,” Ash said, and now both laughter and delight were clear in his voice. “This
is
a surprise.”
I closed one of the spaces I had put between us, stopped. “Ash,” I said his name like a prayer, like a promise. “Tell me that you want me.”
“I want you,” he said. “Give me tonight, Candace. I won’t ask for more.
Just tonight.”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Yes, Ash.
Just for tonight, love me.”
“I will always love you, Candace,” Ash said.
Then he closed the final step between us and pulled me into his arms. His mouth slanted over mine savagely, then gentled until I feared that I would weep with the sweetness of it. Weep with the joy of once more feeling Ash’s lips on mine. I could feel the way his body trembled as he held himself back. Knew how fiercely he wanted to possess me, not just for tonight, but for all time.
“You are mine, do you hear me?” he said.
“You.
Are.
Mine.”
His lips trailed fire across my face,
then
moved down across my collarbone to my breast. He pulled both skin and lace into his mouth and I arched up.
“Yes! Yes!” I panted, as his tongue slid beneath the lace to find my bare nipple. “I want you now.”
“Slow, my love. If it’s only tonight, let’s make it last.”
He put his hands between my breasts, flicked open the clasp that held the lace together. My breasts spilled out, and Ash gathered them into his hands. I swayed on my feet as pleasure speared through me. “Hold on to me, Candace,” he urged. “Hold on.”
I put my arms around his neck and felt him lift me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, even as I sought his mouth with my own. Arms banded around my back, Ash turned, then walked across the living room and through an open door beyond. I felt the air change, becoming thick with heat, damp with moisture. Slowly, Ash slid me down his body to set me on my feet. I opened my eyes to see we were in an elegant room with granite tiles on the wall, a tile mosaic on the floor. In one corner, an enormous whirlpool bath shushed and murmured softly to itself. Across from it, more windows revealed the night sky, the Vegas skyline. Candles seemed to float
there,
on glass shelves so cunningly made they were practically invisible. In the dark, there were only the colors of the Strip, the flickering of the candles, the glow of passion in Ash’s eyes.
He reached beyond me to press a button, and the whirlpool came to life, bubbling and whirring. The scent of jasmine rose in the damp air. Eyes on his, I unfastened the slacks I wore. Shimmied them and my panties down my hips,
then
let them drop to the floor.
This is my dream
, I thought.
My dream one better.
For I was really here with my lover, my love.
Ash lifted me gently, set me on my feet in the tub. I let myself slide along his body, my hands slowly exploring its contours as I sank down.
Now.
Now! I wanted to scream, but I followed Ash’s lead—slowly savoring each moment. I slipped back, submerging myself up to my chin. The tub was deep and luxurious. I lay in the steaming scented water and watched as Ash undressed himself. Broad chest, narrow hips, those long legs that I had wanted entwined with mine from the first moment I saw him. His cock was erect and proud. And suddenly I wanted it, wanted him, more than anything I had ever desired in my life. I scooted
forward,
reached up to take his cock between my soapy hands, and felt the power of my own touch.
“You are so beautiful,” I said. “I want you so much, even though it pisses me off.”
Ash laughed then, the force of it moving his cock as I grasped it between my hands, then he stepped into the tub. He lowered himself beside me, mouth seeking mine.
Hungry.
We were both so hungry for each other
.
His mouth left mine to dance across my face in quick, nipping kisses until I gave a breathless, joyful laugh. I felt his hands move down to tangle with my legs. Entirely without warning, he gave them a tug. With a shriek, I slipped down deeper into the water. Only a quick grab for the bars on the side of the tub kept my head from going under. I leaned forward to see Ash disappear below the bubbles; then gasped as I felt his tongue slide up my right thigh. I felt his hands gently grasp my hips, turning my body ever so slightly so that the bubbles from the jet danced across my clit even as his tongue slid inside me. He thrust it powerfully, in and out.
Advantages of a vampire lover
, I suddenly thought. Ash didn’t have to worry about coming up for air.
How many women have dreamed of this sort of seduction
? I wondered. Dreamed of feeling their lover’s caress join with the caress of the water. I leaned my head back, completely giving myself over to the sensations. In the glossy black tiles above my head, I saw a reflection of Ash’s body and mine. My legs were splayed, Ash between them. I tightened my grip on the handrails as I felt my passion climb.
Without warning, Ash shifted position, tilting and lifting me so that the bubbles pounded into my body now. I gave a shocked cry of pleasure, my fingers writhing around the bars. Ash’s tongue moved across my clit. His hands grasped my ass, easing my body out of the water, then back down. The change from water to air was absolutely exquisite, the pressure of his tongue the only constant. I pressed myself up against his mouth.
“Ash,” I gasped out.
“
Ash
.”
“Come for me, Candace,” I heard him say, his mouth never leaving my body. And, almost impossibly, the feel of his lips forming my name drove me even higher. My body bowed upward, as I pulled on one last, ragged breath.
“Come for me, my sweet love,” I heard Ash say, and felt the power of it carry me up and over. “If you love me, show me.”
On a great, wild surge of pleasure, I came, the small room echoing with my cries. Before they had died out, Ash rose from the water like some ancient god. Pulling me up to meet him, my legs still open, wide. Dazed with passion, dazed with love, I gazed down at my own body, watched as Ash slid his cock deep inside. I tightened myself around him, heard his own hoarse cry of pleasure. I wrapped my legs around his waist and began to ride.
“Again,” I panted.
“Again, Ash.
Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
Wanting me.
Loving me.
Filling every empty space inside.
In
all the
world, there was nothing I wanted more than this: myself in Ash’s arms.
“Candace,” I heard him say.
And then the climax took us both. I felt Ash’s arms band around me, tight. Understood that, if he could have had anything he wanted in that moment, it would be to never let me go.
“Stay with me,” I thought I heard him say. “Stay with me, Candace.”
And then there was nothing at all but the surprise of our love.
In silence, Ash watched me dress. I could not, would not, stay the whole night. I knew the truth. I thought we both did. If I fell asleep in his arms, it would all be over and done. If I let him hold me through the darkest hours of the night, I would never be able to leave him, or to let him go.
“Take care of
yourself
, Ash,” I said. “Don’t forget. I warned you.”
“I won’t forget,” he said. He walked me to the elevator doors. “I’ll even trade you for it, with some advice for you. Don’t deny yourself forever, Candace. You don’t have that long.”
“That’s the price I pay for staying human, isn’t it?” I asked.
I drove myself home in the cold hour just before the dawn.
Sixteen
San Francisco
, two years earlier
Ash
The night of the
Albedo
had come. This time, I was ushered before the Chairman, alone. One-on-one, his power was almost overwhelming. How Sloane could believe it was anything but potent and real was utterly beyond me.