Lucifer's Lover (27 page)

“Eliza, I’d like you to meet Lindsay Eden. A friend of mine from Deerfoot Falls.”

Eliza’s smile broadened as she turned to her. “Welcome my dear. Is this your first time in New York?”

“No,” Lindsay said truthfully and her voice emerged tight and strangled.

Eliza frowned a tiny bit but Luke placed a hand on her silk-clad arm and she smiled up at him instead.

“Lindsay, this is Eliza Pierse.” He turned to look at her. “My aunt,” he added, watching her.

Lindsay couldn’t help it. A little gasp emerged from her and she knew it was almost a moan.

“Are you feeling quite well, my dear?” Eliza asked gently. “You’ve gone a ghastly shade of gray—quickly, Luke! Catch her!”

For Lindsay’s strength had suddenly left her and try as she might, she couldn’t get her feet to cooperate and move her to the sofas a few feet away.

But Luke was there, lifting her and obligingly sliding her onto the luxurious deep velvet cushions on the sofa. “Are you going to be sick?” he whispered as he laid her down, his voice low enough so that no one else would hear. He sat on the coffee table beside her.

“No. I just—I just got dizzy for a minute.” It took effort to speak coherently. It was like being completely and utterly drunk, when the world ebbed and flowed around you and sound came and went in noisy waves and you could only make sense of it all by concentrating furiously on one object at a time.

She found herself staring at Eliza. Luke’s aunt Eliza, she reminded herself. The woman was sitting on the other end of the sofa, one knee casually hooked over the top of the arm, the other foot propping her up on the floor, as she leaned on the back of the sofa, watching a little anxiously. It was an uncannily close resemblance to the way Luke had been using the arm of the sofa for a perch at his apartment.

She should have expected this, she realized. She should have known. Hindsight be damned. This was something she might have anticipated if she had just lifted her head above her own miseries for half a moment.

“Here, Mr. Pierse,” the secretary murmured and Lindsay turned her head to see her offering Luke a glass of water.

“Thanks,” Luke said absently, taking the glass. But he was watching her.

“I’m fine,” Lindsay murmured. “I don’t think I should have water, though.”

Luke put the glass on the table.

Eliza stood up. “Penny, I’d like you to go check the final numbers for the Armstrong wedding on Saturday night—see if they’ve emailed them in yet.”

Penny nodded and picked up her notebook and left.

Eliza sat on the coffee table next to Luke, carefully pushing the glass of water well back out of reach of both of them. She peered at Lindsay. “That was quite a turn. Are you pregnant, my dear?”

Lindsay found herself blushing from her toes to the roots of her hair. She couldn’t help it. The question was simple enough but
this was Luke’s aunt
. She couldn’t just open her mouth and say yes. Which meant she had to lie. And Lindsay knew with utter certainty that any lie she offered would be instantly seen through.

Luke shook his head. “It’s not that at all, Lizzy. She’s just seen a ghost, so to speak. It’s my fault. Lindsay’s mother was Catherine Eden.”

Eliza’s eyes opened a little wider. “You mean
the
Catherine Eden? Manager of the Derwent here in New York?”

“That one,” Luke confirmed and his voice held just a touch of dryness. Lindsay studied him, wondering what had caused that ironic note.

But Eliza didn’t notice, for she clapped her hands together and was staring at Lindsay. “Oh, this is a double pleasure, Lindsay. Your mother… My goodness but this will sound so childish! I suppose it’s fair to say your mother was my role model. She was a pioneer in this industry—a pioneer for women. I was just starting out in the business when she died—my first managerial role. I was so green then!” She laughed gaily. “You must be so proud of her. No one has ever come close to following in her footsteps.”

“Not even Lindsay,” Luke added softly.

Eliza smiled. “You’re in the hospitality trade too? Well, that makes sense, I suppose. All in the family. Look at us.” Eliza gently cuffed Luke’s shoulder. “Luke’s a chip off the old block too. His father—my brother—once managed the Albion too. Before his alcoholism truly got the better of him. Well, I’m sure I’m not breaking any confidences to you telling you that particular family skeleton.”

Luke’s father managed this hotel
? Lindsay looked to Luke for confirmation and what she saw there frightened her. He was watching her with the same steady remoteness, the air of sadness settling around him like a shroud.

It was true then.

Lindsay couldn’t concentrate on what Eliza was saying next. It was too much—she desperately needed to think.

Luke laid his hand on Eliza’s arm. “Liza, would you mind… Could you give us a couple of minutes here?”

Eliza smiled, all professional charm and grace. “It’s about time I chased up about those damn wedding numbers myself, anyway,” she declared. She held out her hand to Lindsay. “This really was a pleasure, Lindsay.” She held out a business card that magically appeared in her left hand. “Please, when you’re feeling more yourself, call me. I’d love to take you to lunch and have a chat.”

“Thank you.” Lindsay took the card and Eliza left the room, discreetly shutting the doors behind her.

Luke hadn’t moved from his half-slouch on the table.

Lindsay retreated to silence, wondering what Luke could possibly say in response to this that would sound at all understandable.

He sighed and straightened up. “Now you know.”

“She could have been my mother for all the difference it made!”

“I know. The similarities kept me awake for nights on end.” Despite the flip answer, Luke’s expression was utterly serious.

“Is that… Is this family of yours the reason you came to Deerfoot Falls?”

He pursed his lips, considering. “Sort of. Maybe. It was time to move on. To get away.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Her mind kept slipping back to marvel over the similarities between Eliza and her mother. It was frightening, in a way.

“You see now, don’t you, why I’m the worst person in the world to want in your life?” He waved his hand around the office. “I could be blood brother to the woman who made your life a complete misery.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. Tiredness was pulling at her mind.

“I need to think about this,” she told him.

He was silent for a long time. “I guess that’s fair,” he said, at last. “Where are you staying? I’ll drive you there.”

She looked at her watch. “I’m booked on the five thirty flight back home.”

His brow lifted. “Home. Okay…”

She sat up, bringing her feet back to the ground.

“Are you going to be all right to fly?” he asked.

She grimaced. “After all this? Flying will be relaxing.”

He looked away and Lindsay cursed herself. “Luke, I appreciate you showing me—for introducing me to your aunt. But you knew it would be a shock. You told her I’d seen a ghost, so you knew ahead of time.”

“Why do you think it’s taken me so long to tell you?” he shot back. He took a deep breath. “I kept chickening out.” and he lifted a stray lock of hair from her temple and brushed it back. “I wanted to enjoy it a little longer…”

Lindsay could feel herself responding just to the touch of his fingertips in her hair and hated herself for the weakness.

She was going to have to be strong now. Luke had no more mysteries to reveal. She had all the facts now. She clasped her hands together.

“Now I know it all, I have to think about the future. I have decisions to make.” She touched her belly. “This child means I can’t afford the weakness of emotional choices. I can’t just think about me anymore.”

His eyes were very black and totally unrevealing. “I know.”

“I’m going to go back to Deerfoot Falls. What do I tell Doug?”

He frowned. “I’ll deal with him.” It was almost a growl. He stood up and held out his hand. “Come on—I’ll get you to the airport. I can tell you from extensive experience that it’ll take a good hour to get there at this time of day.”

It took two hours, for first she had to check out of the motel she had stayed in the previous two nights while she was tracking down Luke. She hadn’t quite been able to stay at the Derwent. The discomfort level would have been too high even if she wasn’t watching her bank account right now.

Throughout the two hours Luke was the charming, funny PR man she remembered from the Derwent. The change was uncomfortable. It showed her just how much Luke’s behavior had began to change when he was with her and how comfortable she had become with the man she had begun to think of as the hidden Luke.

But that man was back in hiding and it was her fault he’d retreated.

Luke waited with her until her flight was boarding and then walked her to the boarding gate. She hesitated a little, unwilling to simply say goodbye and walk away—yet she couldn’t really think of anything appropriate, either.

But Luke’s hand on her arm, pulling her aside, halted her. She turned to face him and realized with a jolt that he’d dropped his mask. The real Luke was looking at her. He cupped her face in his hands, studying her with the intent gaze of someone storing up details for later. He didn’t say anything and she didn’t know what to say, either.

His dark eyes seemed to be trying to tell her something she couldn’t quite read.

“Take care of yourself,” he murmured at last and she sensed there was far more he wanted to say but couldn’t. Something was blocking the words.

“I will,” she answered inadequately. She added, “Thank you too. For showing me. For letting me in.”

He shook his head a little. “Ah, Lynds, you were already in. Didn’t you know that?” A tiny furrow appeared in his brow. “You just won’t take up residence.” His voice was a rough whisper.

He kissed her, then, a gentle touch of the lips that lingered a little. She found herself clenching his jacket lapels and fought the impulse to pull him closer, to make him stay.

He dropped his hands and tried to step back but she still held his jacket. He rested his hands on her fists. “Time to go.”

The attendants announced the final call just then and Lindsay knew they were probably gently trying to nudge her aboard the plane too, for they could see her from their desk at the side of the gate.

Panic gripped her.

“It wouldn’t work,” she said quickly, trying to spill it all out instantly, to explain herself. “We wouldn’t work. You wouldn’t change. I can’t change. And you’re bad for me. You said it.”

“I said it,” he agreed heavily.

“You’re New York. I’m Deerfoot Falls. And your family—”

“Lynds, don’t do this.”

“I can’t help it!” she confessed. “I don’t know how to get on that plane.”

His hands on hers tightened and her fists were plucked away. “Go,” he said.

She nodded.

“Just turn. Walk away. Don’t look back. I won’t be here, anyway. Hell, I’ve got things to do. I should have been doing them for the last two hours except I had to make sure you didn’t get mugged on the way to the airport like some hick tourist.”

Even as he said it, she knew he was lying. Knew he was helping her leave.

“Thanks,” she whispered. She picked up her cabin bag and walked swiftly toward the gate. And she didn’t look back but not because he’d told her not to. It was because she didn’t want him to see her tears.

Chapter Seventeen

Spring was threatening when Lindsay went for her first ultrasound scan. Both the spring and the scan acted like a cattle prod, pushing her out of the nice, comfortable bolt-hole she had been hiding in since her return from New York.

Like the lingering winter, she had been sluggishly pretending she was getting her life organized for the last few weeks.

In truth, she had been hibernating. It was too much to have to think about the future when her alternatives seemed to be so few and so bleak.

She had never been a big spender and consequently had a good financial cushion to tide her over. An immediate financial crisis might have got her moving and the lack of it helped make it easier to procrastinate each day over the tasks she must undertake to get herself organized for the future.

Each day she put it off, the easier it became the next day to do it again.

Except the baby in her was an alarm clock that could not be ignored. Her timeline was not open-ended at all. By the time this baby was born she knew she had to have her life settled so that she was ready to cope with the demands of motherhood. Alone.

But it was easier to let it all slide for now. Fall next year seemed to be so far away that she could convince herself there was plenty of time to get things done.

When she entered the examination room, her biggest concern was the pressure from her bloated bladder.

Her first dose of cold reality was when the technician helped her onto the table. “Hi. I’m Gillian. The baby’s father won’t be coming to watch?”