Authors: J. R. Ward
That female had slashed him in a way no war wound ever could, and from the likes of her, he was never going to heal up.
Good thing he didn’t ever allow his emotions to show, for it was best that no one knew his Achilles’ heel had finally, after all these years, come to find him.
And now… he would have to find her.
If only to put his conscience, such as he had one, at ease, he was going to have to see her again.
Q
huinn didn’t know
what
the fuck was up. People fucking poofing it in and out of the fucking foyer, shit going south… until Autumn came the fuck back.
If there had ever been a time to drop the f-bomb, tonight was it.
But at least it ended okay, with all being recovered, and the ceremony completed: With Autumn standing beside Tohr, John had been branded twice, once for Wellsie, once for the lost brother he’d never meet. And then, after the salt had sealed those wounds, the crowd had gone up to the highest point in the house where Wellsie’s urn had been opened and revealed to the air, her ashes lovingly carried up and out to the heavens by the gusts of a rare easterly wind.
Now, everyone was heading back down to the dining room to eat and recharge; after which they’d no doubt go off to pass the fuck out in their rooms as soon as they could politely disengage.
Everybody was just about done, himself included, and that conviction had him turning to Layla as they reached the foyer. “How you doing?”
Man, he’d been asking her that nonstop for three days straight,
and each time, she’d told him she was fine, and hadn’t started to bleed yet.
She wasn’t going to bleed. He was sure of this, even if she had yet to believe it.
“I’m good,” she said with a smile, as if she appreciated his kindness.
The good news was that they were getting along really well. He’d been worried after the needing that things would get weird or some shit, but they were like a team that had run a marathon, reached a goal, and were ready for the next challenge.
“Can I get you some food?”
“You know, I am hungry.”
“Why don’t you head up, have a lie down, and I’ll bring you something.”
“That would be lovely—thank you.”
Yup, it was nice the way she smiled at him in that uncomplicated and warm way, the one that made him love her like family. And as he escorted her back over to the base of the stairs, it was good to smile at her in the same manner.
All that simple-and-easy ended as he turned around. In the library, through the open doors, he saw Blay and Saxton talking. And then his cousin stepped in and pulled Blay into his arms. As the pair of them stood together, body on body, Qhuinn took a deep breath and felt a little death of his own come to him.
He guessed this was how it ended for them.
Separate lives, separate futures.
Hard to think that they had started out
in
separable—
Abruptly, Blay’s blue stare found his.
And what Qhuinn saw in it caused him to falter: Love shone out of that face, unadulterated love untempered by the shyness that was very much a part of his reserve.
Blay didn’t look away.
And for the first time… neither did Qhuinn.
He didn’t know whether the emotion was about his cousin—it probably was—but he’d take it: He stared right back at Blaylock and let everything he had in his heart show in his face.
He just let that shit fly.
Because there was a lesson in this Fade ceremony tonight: You could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye—and he was willing to bet,
when it happened, you weren’t thinking about all the reasons that could have kept you apart. You thought of all the reasons that kept you together.
And, no doubt, how you wished you’d had more time. Even if you’d had centuries…
When you were young, you thought time was a burden, something to be discharged as fast as possible so you could be grown-up. But it was such a bait-n-switch—when you were an adult, you came to realize that minutes and hours were the single most precious thing you had.
No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given.
Enough, Qhuinn thought. Enough with the excuses, and the avoidance, and the trying to be someone, anyone else.
Even if he got shanked, even if his precious little ego and his dumb-ass little heart got shattered into a million pieces, it was time to stop the bullshit.
It was time to be a male.
As Blay started to straighten, like a message had been received, Qhuinn thought, That’s right, buddy.
Our future has come.
T
he following evening, Tohrment rolled over and found Autumn’s body in the sheets. She was warm and willing as he mounted her, her thighs splitting for him, her core welcoming him as he sank in deep and moved inside.
They had fallen asleep together, sinking into the kind of rest you had when a journey was over and home had finally reappeared on the horizon.
“Give me your mouth, my female,” he said softly in the dark.
As her lips yielded to him, he let his body take over, the release not an earthquake, but more of a wave, an easing of tension rather than a chaotic explosion of stars. And as he continued to ride her in that gentle rhythm, making love to his Autumn, he was reassuring himself that she was real—that they were real.
When it was over, he willed on a single light on the bedside table and traced her face with his fingertips. The way she smiled at him made him totally believe in a benevolent Maker.
They were going to be mated, he thought. And he would add her
name, the one he had given her, to his back, right below Wellsie’s. And she would be fully his
shellan
for however long they had together.
“Do you want something to eat?” he whispered.
She smiled some more. “Please.”
“I’ll be right back, then.”
“Wait, I’d like to come with you. I don’t know what I want.”
“Then we’ll go down together.”
It took some time to actually make it out of the bed, get dressed in pj’s, and wander down the hall of statues to the stairwell.
Autumn paused at the top, as if she were remembering the night before and leery of getting anywhere near the space—like she might get sucked up into the Fade again.
With a nod of understanding, he swung her up into his arms. “I’ll carry you.”
As she stared up into his face, she put her hand to his cheek, and didn’t have to speak. He knew exactly what she was thinking of.
“I can’t believe Lassiter saved us, either,” he said.
“I don’t want him suffering.”
“Neither do I. He was a good guy. A real… angel, as it turned out.”
Tohr started the descent, taking careful steps because he had a precious load. Down at the bottom, he paused for a moment to look at the depiction of the apple tree on the floor. He had let go of two females at the foot of one… and now he was in the position of carrying one of them back over it—thanks to that angel who had somehow pulled off a miracle.
He was going to miss that son of a bitch; he really was. And he was going to be eternally grateful for—
The doorbell chimed, loud and clear.
Frowning, Tohr glanced over at the grandfather clock by the door to the butler’s pantry. Two in the afternoon? Who the hell could—
The chime went off again.
Striding across the mosaic floor, prepared to call for his brothers if he had to, he peered at the monitor—
“Holy…
shit
.”
“Who is it?”
Tohr put Autumn down, freed the locking mechanism to the inner portal and put his female behind him in the event any daylight shone in.
Lassiter walked in like he owned the place, that swagger back in full force, his smile as wide and naughty as ever, his blond and black hair marked with fresh snowflakes.
As Tohr and Autumn stared at him with their mouths open, he held up two oversize McDonald’s bags.
“I brought us all Big Macs,” he said happily. “I know you dig ’em, remember?”
“What the…” Tohr tightened his grip on his
shellan
, just in case…well, shit, with the way things were going lately, anything could happen. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s your lucky day, motherfucker.” The angel did a little spin, piercings glinting, Mickey D’s bags flaring out. “Turned out there were three of us being tested, and I passed as well. The instant I pledged myself for you two, I was free—and after I thought about it for a while, I decided I’d rather be on earth doing good works than up there in the clouds. ’Cuz, you know, I’ve kinda gotten a ball rolling, and this compassion shit looks good on me. Besides, no
Maury
in heaven.”
“Which is what distinguishes the place from hell,” Tohr pointed out.
“Too right.” The angel jogged his load of high-calorie, high-fat. “So what you say? I got fries, too. No sundaes. I didn’t know how long it would take for someone to open the door for me, and I didn’t want them to melt.”
Tohr looked at Autumn. Then they both looked at the angel.
As one, they stepped in and embraced the guy, and what do you know, the son of a bitch held them back.
“I’m really glad this worked out,” Lassiter whispered in all seriousness. “For you two.”
“Thanks, man,” Tohr said in return. “I owe you one.… Shit, I owe you everything.”
“You did a lot of it yourself.”
“Except for that last bit,” Autumn pointed out. “That was you, Lassiter.”
“Meh. Who’s counting. Between friends, you know.”
The three of them eased back, and then after an awkward moment, they walked into the dining room. As they sat down at one end and Lassiter began passing out the goods, Tohr had to laugh. He and this angel had started with the golden arches… and here they were again.
“Much better than that cave, right?” Lassiter murmured as he handed over fries.
Tohr glanced over at Autumn and couldn’t believe how far they all had come. “Yeah. Really, totally… completely much better.”
“Plus this place has cable.”
As Lassiter winked at them both, Tohr and Autumn started grinning.
“It does, angel. It so does… and anytime you want the clicker, it’s yours for the taking.”
Lassiter barked out a laugh. “Damn, you really are grateful.”
Tohr stared at Autumn and found himself nodding. “You bet your ass I am. Eternally grateful… I am… Eternally. Grateful.”
On that note, he kissed his female… and bit into his Big Mac.