Love Storm (16 page)

 
           "It's okay," Zack soothed as I cried into his shirt. He was rubbing comforting circles on the small of my back with one hand. "It's alright."

 
           Even after my tears had subsided, he still held me close, one arm wrapped firmly around my waist, the other trailing fingers through the length of my hair; a calming gesture.

 
           God, now I felt even more terrible. Here I was, being comforted by Zack, who probably needed it more than I did at the moment. Our roles felt so reversed, and for the first time, I felt something like affection go out toward him – even in a bad time for him, Zack still found it in his heart to comfort me.

 
           ~
Zack
~

 
           One of her arms was around my neck, the other, resting lightly on my chest. I looked down at her – her fingers were curled into my shirt, and her cheeks were still wet. I was pretty sure Eva had been on the line, but what had they fought over so badly to make Winter cry?

 
           I continued running my fingers through her silky hair and marveled at her beauty, even at a time like this.

 
           "Eva was on the line," Winter finally said quietly, her voice holding no trace of tears.

 
           "I figured as much," I said lightly.

 
           She turned her dark eyes up to me. "She… she was calling to… break up with you."

 
           "Oh," was all I could say. "Well, that's alright. I figured we couldn't last too much longer anyway."

 
           Winter shook her head. "I yelled at her," she whispered. "Because you were already having a bad day, and there she was,
calling
to break up with you."

 
           "You wanted her to do it in person," I said softly, recalling the half of the conversation I could hear. I twisted the end of a small strand of her hair around my finger.

 
           Winter nodded, resting her head on my chest. "It wasn't fair of her," she said decidedly. "But I didn't have to yell at her. She got mad too."

 
           "Well, that's understandable," I said. "You didn't have to stick up for me like that. Just 'cause I was having a rough time with my parents –"

 
           "Oh god, Zack," she whispered, reaching up to press a kiss on my cheek. "You are so good. I'm sorry about Eva, and I'm really sorry about your parents too. I wish I could do something to take it all away, I really do, but I can't, and it pains me to see you so hurt." Tears started rolling down her cheeks again, but they weren't angry or regretful – they were tears of compassion, I realized after a moment, and I was stunned and warmed at the same time. I had never known anyone compassionate enough to cry for me.

 
           "It's alright. Don't cry," I said, swallowing hard. A mysterious lump had risen in my throat.

Chapter Thirteen: Hidden Talents

Eva

            "Damn," I muttered after I hung up, and flopped back on my bed, staring up at my ceiling moodily. I had really yelled at Winter, something that hadn't ever happened before. Oh wait, that would be a lie. I yelled at her once in seventh grade when we were fighting over… eh, what were we fighting over? I forget now. Oh well, whatever…

 
           Poor Zack, I thought despairingly. I wondered how he would take all of this. I really did feel bad about breaking up with him.

 
           But really, what was Winter's problem, anyway? I'd been home for a total of ten minutes, and already I had gotten my best friend pissed off and dumped my boyfriend.

 
           That, folks, is what we call time management.

 
           Tristan popped his head into my room. "Hey Eva, how was your weekend?" He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his temple just slightly, reminding me again how tired he looked these days. His blonde hair was rumpled and he was flexing the right fingers of his hands, a habit of his when they were cramped from writing. He must have been doing homework in his room (which was right next to mine).

 
           I sighed. "Alright, I guess," I mumbled, but still glad all the same that my big brother was here asking me how I was, no matter how busy or hectic his own life seemed at the moment. "Mom was really glad to see me."

 
           "I'll bet," he said, entering my room and cautiously sitting down on my comforter, near the end of my bed. He picked up Bunny and fiddled with her ears idly. "Were you… just on the phone with someone?" he asked carefully, his azure eyes focused on the stuffed toy in his hands.

 
           I paused. "Yes," I admitted.

 
           "With Winter?"

 
           I nodded, and even though he wasn't looking at me, I knew that he already knew what my answer was.

 
           "Was she giving you a hard time?" Tristan asked lightly.

 
           Again, I nodded, and again, I got the sense that he already knew the answer and was on the brink of telling me something. I waited patiently.

 
           "She yelled at you, huh? And you yelled back." At this point, his questions were more statements than inquiries.

 
           "Yes," I said softly.

 
           He paused, then turned his gaze onto me. "She had a right to, you know."

 
           "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that Winter had the right to yell at me, her best friend, just because I wanted to break up with Zack," I exclaimed hotly, sitting up.

 
           "You haven't exactly been much of a best friend lately," Tristan said, evaluating me calmly.

 
           "I – " What?

 
           He cocked his head slightly, gave me a small, almost imperceptible nod, replaced Bunny, stood up smoothly with that athletic grace he was blessed with, and left the room. I stared after him. Okay, would someone care to explain that to me?

 
           Screw him. If I didn't know any better, I might have speculated for a moment over how possible it was that Tristan had finally cracked and given in to doing some form of drugs. Now
that
would definitely kick him out of UCSD's good graces.

 
           But instead I lay back down, thinking over what he said. Tristan usually chose his words very carefully; therefore, his statements were usually worth second ruminations, whether there was the threat that he was high on something or not.

 
           So, apparently I hadn't been much of a best friend lately…

 
           Nope, not true at all. Absolutely not.

 
           'Wait…' I thought. Was it possible that it was true? Well, anything is
possible
. Consequently, it is possible that I haven't been a good best friend lately, but on the other hand, it's also
not
necessarily possible either because I, Eva Westley, have always been a very good best friend to Winter Bruin…

 
           Woah. I frowned. That didn't make sense.

 
           "Okay, slow down Eva," I whispered to my empty room.

 
           Deep breath. Okay. Now. Have you been a good best friend to Winter, Eva?

 
           …Ponder. Speculate. Contemplate…
            The answer was no, I realized miserably after a short moment. I hadn't been. Tristan was right, and I sent him a silent apology for ever thinking he was on drugs. I hadn't spent very much time with Winter lately, I hadn't been talking to her at school, I hadn't really been sitting with her at lunch, I didn't say hi to her in the halls at Branner anymore, and for the past month, if she had ever needed me to listen, I hadn't been there for her.

 
           'God Eva, what have you done?' I thought. A gloomy feeling overtook me, and added to my tiredness, it wasn't a good thing.

 
           Suddenly, I couldn't stand the quiet in my room, the confining silence that left too much room for thoughts that kept chasing themselves in circles in my head.

 
           Homework. I frantically scrambled off my bed and swiftly crouched down on the carpet next to my backpack, shuffling through my binders and books. Please, let me have something to do so I can get my mind off this…

 
           With a grim smile, I pulled out my Pre-Cal book triumphantly. I could work ahead! I loved math. Math was good. Everything was set straight; there were rules, and if you broke the rules, everything was Wrong. Wrong, with a capital W, just like most things in my life. There were no in-betweens or uncertainties. Everything either was, or wasn't. Some would argue that it was boring, but I preferred to think of it as stable and in control.

 
           I sighed.

 
           ~
Zack
~

 
           Eva had just dumped me. If I were the type to consult people whenever my life was out of balance, my counselor would probably reassure me that life would go on, that I shouldn't think of it as "being dumped", and that thirty years from now, I would have my life perfectly figured out, defined and thoroughly analyzed the meaning of life, and that I would look back on this moment and laugh at my young, foolish stupidity.

 
           As matters stood, I was not the type to consult people whenever my life was out of balance, because up until this afternoon, there was not a single person in this universe I knew I trusted (other than Victoria, but what respectable, middle-aged widow wants to hear about the trifling hardships of a sixteen year old?); and if I were to bother someone with
all
my worries, there would be a couple of old geezers that call themselves counselors who would find their precious, remaining time on this earth constantly being wasted by a person probably less than a fifth of their age. And as it was, I highly doubted that thirty years from now I would have my life perfectly figured out and defined and thoroughly analyzed the meaning of life. Furthermore, why shouldn't I think of it as "being dumped"? Because really, that's what it was. Perhaps there were nicer ways to put it, but in the end, you're just lessening the blow of the truth. Because at this moment, I – had – been – dumped.

 
           Go me. Wave little flags. Cheer for Zack, "hurrah!", he's the best! Not the first and certainly not the last boyfriend Eva had broken things off with. That's a reassuring thought, at any rate. It sucks to be the first and last, because you're the most remembered. I was probably now just a little page in her journal of boyfriends. How
very
excellent.

 
           Bitter? I prefer to think of it as dealing with troubles in a sarcastic and subtly resentful way.

 
            Hmm, I really should work on my vocabulary. Sometimes it pays to be a tad more eloquent. It makes you sound all the more sarcastic… Now there's a thought to keep in mind, Zack…

 
           I sighed and shifted in my seat. Thinking these thoughts would get me nowhere. With a small, humorless smile, I realized I was becoming more and more like Winter every day. Sarcasm had always been a bit of an art form with her.

 
           But let's not think about Eva. She wasn't here right now, so I didn't have to deal with her. Thank god.

 
           In fact, I was still at home, still in the smallest living room, still sprawled out on the couch… and Winter was still in my arms. But she was asleep.

 
           Her head was resting perfectly in the crook of my neck, and I had slid down a little, more into a laying position so we could be more comfortable. I had been holding her for the past half hour or so, thinking all these bitter thoughts of mine that probably wouldn't help my mental state at all (even though we all know how precarious it is anyway).

 
           It was getting late. The round clock above the television was ticking closer and closer to ten. I really could have cared less. I breathed deeply, and for a moment, allowed myself to blank out, to not think, but just to feel. The room would have been cold, but Winter's body provided more than enough warmth for me. Her breath was playing softly on my neck and the underside of my chin, calm and steady. I watched her for a long while. Deep in sleep, her features were smooth and serene. She had been so compassionate to me today. Sometimes I wondered about her. At times, she could act like she really disliked me and that I wasn't worth her time and energy, but in the case of today, she could also be… something else. I found my eyelids drooping, my body relaxing, hearing her voice in my head, picturing that smile on her face. Once in a while, I would trail my fingers through her hair, to keep myself awake and to make sure she was still there. It might have sounded childish, I know, but her presence was comforting… I almost wasn't sure she was there.