Chapter Twenty-Four
Early on a Wednesday evening toward the end of August, Sally was saying good-bye to Lark and Jayden Cantrell after the boy's lesson. He'd been coming twice a week and was showing steady progress, which had all of them excited.
Brooke Brannon drove her Toyota into the yard, parked, and came over to say hi. In a short khaki skirt, a sleeveless pink shirt, and sandals, she looked summery and pretty.
“Hi, Sally and Lark,” the blonde said. “And this must be Jayden.” She held out her hand to the boy in the wheelchair with his riding helmet on his lap. “I'm Brooke, and I hear from Sally that you're turning into her star pupil.”
The boy's face glowed. “I'm trying.”
“You're smart to start riding early,” Brooke said. “I didn't learn until I was . . . well, let's just say many years older than you.”
As Brooke chatted with Jayden, Lark took Sally aside. “It's so great to see my son more confident, as well as stronger and better coordinated.”
“He's a great kid. You're so lucky.”
Lark beamed. “I know. Thanks for realizing that.” She lowered her voice. “Can you believe that some people feel sorry for me?”
Sadly, Sally could believe that, but she sure wasn't one of them. “Well, I envy you. I'd give anything to have a son like Jayden.”
“It'll happen for you one day.”
“Maybe. I hope so.” She'd actually begun to think about adopting. It was likely to be the only way she'd ever have a child. Ben had been gone for more than five weeks, but she was no closer to imagining herself being attracted to another man, much less falling in love with one.
Lark went to rest a hand on Jayden's shoulder. “We'd better get going. Your grandmother will have supper waiting.” Sally had learned that Lark's mother lived with them, and they all helped each other out in whatever ways they could. It made her a bit envious, though she now spoke to her own mom, as well as her dad and sister, several times a week.
Expertly, Lark and her son used the van's side ramp to load Jayden and his chair, and Lark secured the chair in the area that a passenger seat normally occupied.
When the pair had driven off, Brooke said to Sally, “That boy's a keeper.”
“Isn't he?”
They exchanged a smile, then the blonde said, “Did our friends get off for their ride?”
“Cassidy and Maribeth arrived about an hour ago, and Corrie went out with them.”
Over the past weeks, Sally and Corrie had become friends with a few other women. Several of them got together at least once a week. Sally had become comfortable leaving teenaged Heather in charge of Ryland Riding.
For the first time since Sally had arrived in Caribou Crossing more than seven years ago, she had friends and a social life. It was wonderful and made life even richer. And yet friends couldn't fill the aching void in her heart created by Ben's absence.
Sally walked over to the hitching rail and collected the reins of Pookie, the placid gray mare she used for her work with Jayden. “I need to get Pookie untacked and put her out.”
“I'll help, then we can get dinner going.”
They walked toward the barn with the horse following behind. Quickly, they removed her tack and then both began to groom her.
“Heard anything from Ben lately?” Brooke asked.
“He and Dusty won team roping last weekend in Lethbridge and qualified for the Canadian Finals. He hasn't had as good luck in saddle bronc. He hasn't been drawing the best stock. He said the one in Lethbridge bucked like a rocking horse.”
“But that would make it easier to stay on, wouldn't it?”
“Staying on for eight seconds is only part of it. With a dinkâa horse or bull that doesn't buck wellâthe score's not going to be great. What you want is stock that's rank.”
“Rank?” Brooke wrinkled her nose. “That sounds nasty.”
Sally laughed. “Yeah, that's exactly what rank means. The tougher the animal is to ride, the higher the risk and the better the opportunity for the cowboy to exhibit his skill. The animal gets a score, too; the ranker it is, the higher the score.”
“I'll trust you on that. How is Ben's shoulder?”
“Holding up well, he says.”
“You talk often?”
“Pretty regularly.” By phone, video chat, or e-mail. She tried to act like a good friend while all the time her heart cried out to him.
She and Brooke took Pookie out to the paddock and released her. Moon Song, the rapidly growing colt, pranced over to the fence and Brooke lavished him with pats and praise.
“We'd best get going on dinner,” Sally said. “The others will be back soon.”
“I have a mint-chocolate cake in my car. It's been sitting in the fridge at the salon all day.”
“That sounds decadent. Thanks, Brooke.” The woman was an awesome cook. As they fetched the cake, Sally said, “Where's Nicki tonight?”
“At home with her dad. Jake has the night off.”
“A night off, and he's okay with you being here with us?” Although she'd seen numerous examples of her girlfriends' husbands seemingly being fine with their wives heading out for an evening without them, it still surprised her.
Brooke, balancing the cake as they strolled toward the house, said, “Sure. Just like I'm okay with him and his buddy Jamal wanting some guy time now and then. Different people satisfy different needs, right? Much as I love Jake, his eyes glaze over if I start talking girl-talk.”
“I suppose.”
“Marriage means partnership,” Brooke said firmly. “It's not being bonded at the hip. That's conjoined twins, not husband and wife. Seems to me that if you look to your spouse to meet all your needs, you're going to be sorely disappointed. And it's not fair on them.”
No, it wasn't fair. Pete hadn't been fair on her.
Sally had taken Ben's advice and started seeing a therapist, and now had a much better understanding of the dynamics of her and Pete's relationship. Pete might truly have loved her, but he was a damaged man, probably incapable of loving in a healthy way.
“You and Ben really get along,” Brooke said.
“We do.”
“Sometimes I get the impression there's, you know, something more.” Brooke's tone was tentative, giving Sally every opportunity to toss off a quick denial as she'd always done in the past, even when it was her mom or her sister Penny doing the hinting.
Sally sighed. She'd really come to like the older woman. To trust her. It would sure be nice to have one person she could talk to, really talk to, about Ben. “He's special, and yes, I care for him a lot. But he has his life and I have mine and it was time for him to move on.”
“Hmm.”
They stepped into the mudroom. Sally pulled off her boots, a bit relieved that Brooke wasn't going to pursue the topic, but mostly disappointed. The two women went into the kitchen. Brooke put the cake in the fridge and cooed over the latest pictures of Sally's brand-new niece which were tacked to the door, right beside the photo of her mom and dad on the porch of their ranch house.
Then she faced Sally. “I've heard that before, you know. The âI've got my life, he's got his' line.”
Maybe the conversation wasn't over. “Where? In a country song?”
“No, from me. After Jake and I first got together, he went back to his job in Vancouver. We decided not to stay in touch. Even though I loved him with all my heart.”
“But he loved you, too. Didn't he?”
“It took him a while to figure things out. Thank God he did, and that he came back to persuade me. Not just once, but twice.”
“Good for Jake. I'm so happy for the two of you.”
“Me, too.” The blonde flashed a satisfied smile. “But someone needs to be the one who has the guts to go after it, or it may never happen.”
Sally crossed her arms over her chest. “What are you saying, Brooke?”
“That you need to examine your heart. If you love the man and want to be with him, maybe you should tell him. I was a coward. That could have cost me so much.”
Sally shook her head. “It's not the same. Ben loves rodeo. He's not ready to give it up.”
“Maybe there's something he'd love even more, if he knew the offer was on the table.”
“All he wants from me is friendship.”
“You're one hundred percent sure of that?”
“Iâ” About to say “I am,” Sally stopped as her heart jerked and raced. Damn Brooke for making her think there might be a possibility, when she was sureâokay, almost sureâthere wasn't. “Ninety percent?”
“Jake proposed to me and I turned him down.”
“Seriously? Even though you loved him?”
“Yes. I thought he only wanted to marry me because I was pregnant. But he came back. He convinced me that he truly loved me. Listen, my friend, it doesn't always have to be the man who has the sense to recognize the worth of what he had, and try to win it back.”
“So you think, even if there's only a ten percent chance . . .”
“It's worth going for.” Brooke nodded emphatically. “What's the worst that could happen? Right now, you believe that the two of you can only be friends. If he confirms it, are you any the worse off?”
Sally reflected. “I might be. And not just because my pride would take a beating. It would change things between us. He'd be aware of how one-sided things are. He might not be as open with me. It could damage our friendship.”
Brooke pressed her lips together and nodded slowly. “I hear you. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. I guess I'm not very good at giving advice.”
“I appreciate that you care enough to try and helpâ” Sally broke off as the sound of female laughter carried through the screened kitchen window. “The others are back.”
Maribeth's cheerful voice said, “Corrie, you need to jump back in the dating pool and swim around some.”
“I'm not ready, and I wouldn't know where to start,” Corrie replied.
Boots clomped up the steps. “I'll introduce you to some guys,” Maribeth said. “I've dated pretty much every unmarried man in Caribou Crossing.”
“Jeez, Maribeth,” Cassidy said as the screen door to the mudroom creaked open and they entered. “Corrie deserves better than your rejects.”
“Hey, I wouldn't do that,” Maribeth said in an injured tone. “These are really good guys. But there wasn't that click. You know that click?”
“You bet I do,” Cassidy said as the three of them came into the kitchen, sock-footed. “Yeah, you gotta wait for the click.”
“You do,” Brooke agreed.
But what did you do when you felt that click with a guy whom you were sureâor at least ninety percent sureâdidn't reciprocate the feeling?
Sally pondered that question, and Brooke's well-intentioned but confusing advice, all through dinner. She discussed it with the hens when she settled them for the night. It was still on her mind as she prepared for bed and wondered if the phone would ring.
Around ten o'clock, it did. More nights than not, she or Ben got in touch around this time. It was casual chat, sharing tidbits about their days. Tonight, as she lay between the sheets of the bed she'd shared with him, it was hard to achieve a breezy tone, but she did her best. She listened for any hints in his voice that he felt something more for her than friendship, but didn't catch a thing as he told her about the drive to Armstrong. He was back in British Columbia, only a half-day's drive from Caribou Crossing. He hadn't suggested dropping by.
Trying to sound upbeat, she told him that her family was planning a visit to Caribou Crossing in October. She filled him in on Jayden's lesson and tonight's dinner party. She of course omitted her conversation with Brooke, but said that Maribeth was trying to get Corrie to start dating.
“Is Corrie thinking about it?” he asked.
“She says she's not ready.”
“Hmm.” There was a pause. “You haven't mentioned that new boarder lately.”
“Which one?” There'd been three in the past few weeks.
“That lawyer. What's his name? Randy?”
“Oh, Randy.” She laughed, thinking of what she'd done, something that would never even have occurred to her in the past. “Didn't I tell you? This is kind of fun.”
“Fun?”
“I told you he recently moved here? He's looking to meet people and he actually asked me out.” It had been flattering, as had the times she'd been hanging out with her friends at the Wild Rose bar and men had asked her to dance. Of course none of them compared to Ben.
Â
Â
“He asked you out?” Ben struggled to keep his voice even as he surged up from his seat on the floor of his horse's stall at the back of the trailer. Chaunce shot him a questioning look. Damn, Ben had known this would happen. Sally starting to date. He should be happy for her, but instead felt hurt and pissed off as she babbled on about how nice, smart, and successful this lawyer was.
Ben had reached for the door handle, to go out and pace in the fresh night air, when she said, “And it occurred to me that he and Madeleine might be perfect for each other.”
“Huh?” Had he missed something? “He asked you out, so you tried to matchmake him with someone else?”
“He's not my type.”
Relieved, yet wondering what more she wanted than nice, smart, and successful, he again sank back down beside Chaunce. The Paint had been witness to a number of late-night calls. Better the horse than Dusty, who was in the living quarters section of the trailer. “Why not?”