Love on the Rocks (Love on Tour #1) (17 page)

24

I made Sean tell me everything about his relationship with Victoria Dee.

“We met at a party in L.A., a fundraiser actually. She was easy to be with, not demanding of my time, not overly jealous. That’s how I liked it back then.”

I was jealous. And we spent every minute together. ‘Back then’ was only a year ago.

“She’s the one I was dating when my parents unexpected showed up in L.A. They’d seen me with her in some magazine spread. And mom, like usual, threw a fit. So my dad bought them two plane tickets and they showed up on my front door.”

“I bet that went well.” I was trying so hard to say calm so he would keep telling me the story. But it was hard.

Sean pulled me closer to him and nuzzled my neck. “You really want to hear all this?”

“Yes, tell me.”

“Okay, well my mom hated her. Absolutely despised her. Looked at her like she was an insect.”

“That makes me feel better.”

“It should. My mom likes you.”

“What about your dad?”

“I don’t know. He was pretty quiet. All he said to me about Vicky was that she didn’t seem like the ‘marrying-type.’ But I wasn’t interested in getting married back then. So I blew him off.”

There he was with that ‘back then’ again.

“Anyway, it was a miserable three days, they left and Vicky and I made any discussion of them off-limits from then on.”

“Why?”

“Because she bitched about my mom. It pissed me off.”

“I get that. So, how did you end up breaking up?”

“I don’t know. It just kind of happened.”

“Was she cheating on you? I mean, she sure doesn’t seem to take monogamy seriously.”

Sean let out a little chuckle. “Probably. But I didn’t really care.”

“You didn’t care!” I was incredulous.

He shrugged.

“But you would care if I was cheating on you?”

“That’s not funny. Jesus, why would you say that?”

“So that’s a yes.”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Okay, so why did you break up with her?”

“How do you know I broke it off?”

“Please.”

“I got bored I guess. Tired of being in a relationship with nothing to it other than sex and idle chatter. They were all like that.”

I stared into his eyes. I knew he loved me. I knew this. But could that change everything, everything he’d ever known, everything he’d ever thought he wanted?

“Sean, time to go, man,” Mike called from the doorway.

“Just a sec.” He turned to me, gave me a deep kiss and said, “I love you Baby. Don’t doubt that for a minute.” Then he walked out the door.

I wandered over to Mike. “I need a drink.”

I followed him into a little utility room where the refrigerator was. Mike popped opened two beers and we sat down side by side on a little wooden bench.

We sat there in silence for a while. I was trying to wrap my head around what I’d just seen. My boyfriend, who was already a million miles out of my league, had dated a woman whose very existence made mortals like me question everything about our appearance. I was Brynn’s cast-off, Victoria Dee was Sean’s. Oh God.

Mike broke my maudlin thoughts. “I ever tell you about how I came to work for Sean?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“I was just out of college and I was looking for work. I was getting pretty depressed because I wasn’t getting anywhere. A friend of mine worked at the local radio station and he got me tickets for a
Chrome
show, backstage tickets. I met Sean at the meet and greet, and for whatever reason he decided he liked me. He gave me a phone number and told me to call him the next day. I figured there was no way that number was real, but I called it anyway. It was his personal cell, and he answered.”

Mike pulled at the label on his beer bottle. “So we met for coffee and he told me about how he needed somebody to manage his affairs, and then he offered me the job. I love working for Sean and I am good at what I do, a few failures this tour aside. But Sean is more than my boss, he’s my friend. I realized that last year, when he was dating the super model as a matter of fact.”

Mike sat back and watched me as he told his story. “Hank had harassed Sean into going to a club, which was weird because Sean hates clubs. Anyway, they invited me along, as a friend, not an employee. So I’m walking through this club with Sean and Hank and the seas are parting for them, you know what I mean, you’ve seen it. And I’m just tagging along. But everyone we meet, Sean introduces me to them. He says, ‘this is my buddy Mike.’ And they all stare at me like ‘what the hell are you doing here?’”

“I know the feeling,” I told him.

“Yeah, you do, Baby. You know the feeling. But here’s the thing. Sean doesn’t belong in that world anymore than you or me. He just ended up there because of his incredible talent.”

“I’m in love with him, Mike. What does an ordinary girl do when she falls in love with a man like that?”

“If he’s worth it…”

I nodded.

“Then you roll with the changes, Baby.”

****

That stupid Oliver had arranged for Sean to do an interview after the concert. I was too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to wait. So I had Mike take me back to the hotel. It turned out to be a big mistake.

I left Mike at his door before heading to our suite at the end of the hallway. When I walked in I was surprised to find the light on, until I looked across the room.

Victoria Dee was lying on my bed in black lacy panties and bra with a garter belt and hose.

“What the hell!” I shouted.

“Oh Good Lord,” she said, sounding bored. “It figures you would come back first.”

She sat up on the edge of the bed, then stood and walked slowly toward me. “I’m glad, because you and I need to talk.”

“No. You need to leave.
Right now
,” I said, pulling out my phone.

“Who are you going to call,
Baby
? You think Mike could throw me out. No way. He can’t manhandle me if I don’t want to go. The police? Please, as if they would care. Sean? Oh, you won’t call Sean. You won’t call Sean, because you don’t want him to see this,” she ran her hand down her body, “and be reminded of how much better it is than that.” She gestured to me.

My blood was pounding in my ears. My fists were clenched at my sides. I am not a violent person, but I was seriously considering throwing down with this half-naked bitch.

“Get out,” I said slowly.

“Here’s the thing. You might think you have a good thing going here. And believe me, you do. A girl like you getting Sean’s attention, I applaud you, I do. And even if we lived in some fairy tale land where a man like that would stay with a woman like you for longer than it took for the novelty to wear off, you can’t hack it.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, about us,” I seethed.

“Oh but I do. I know so much, kiddo. I am more powerful than you can imagine. I have eyes everywhere. I know that an amateur like Krysta was too much for you. Do you think a little bug like that would have ever even have attempted to fuck with me? But you are soft and weak, and she took you down. I also know about your little flip out on Michelle. That chic is nothing but ripe trash, but boy did she get to you. That girl wouldn’t have the nerve to talk to me like that.” She flipped her perfect hair over her shoulder, as if for emphasis. “You can’t handle what it takes to be Sean’s girlfriend. You know it, but you’ve been too afraid to admit it to yourself.”

“Bullshit,” I said quietly, the rage building. “Sean is mine. I’m sorry you’re feeling jealous. Life’s a bitch. And you’re wrong. I am calling Sean. I don’t care if he sees you buck naked. He knows what he wants. And it ain’t you, honey.”

“You sure about that?”

She smiled at me and picked up a trench coat from the back of the couch. She wrapped herself in it, slipped on her heels, and walked to the door. I moved out of her way.

She paused in the doorway. “Where was Sean while you were off with Mike this evening?”

“On stage.”

“How about before that? There’s a good 20 minutes of missing time isn’t there,
Baby
?” She walked out the door, shutting it behind her.

I crumpled on the couch, my head in my hands. I would never let her know it, but I was shaken. A lot of the things Victoria Dee had told me hit home. I might not be up to the challenge of being Sean’s girlfriend.

I had been living in a fantasy world. All the things that happened on this tour, it wouldn’t be the end. I wouldn’t just suffer through them once, it would happen over and over. Finding naked girls in my hotel or in Sean’s green room, insanely beautiful models throwing themselves at him, women plotting against me, and even lies designed to break us apart – like the one Victoria Dee had just told about the missing 20 minutes – would be all too common. They might even be worse in L.A. This just wasn’t my scene. And yet, I loved him enough to put up with it. There was no question about that. But should I? Should I make a square peg fit into a round hole? Was it good for me? Was it good for him? I didn’t have answers to these questions.

****

Sean had a wary look on his face when he came in the door. “I heard you had a visitor.”

“Yeah, where did you hear that from?”

“The woman herself. She trapped me into a conversation downstairs.”

I sat up straighter on the couch. “And what did she say?”

Sean sat across from me, his arms on his knees, his eyes guarded. “Why don’t you tell me what happened first?”

“Why are you acting like I did something wrong? I’m the one who came back here to find a half-naked model in my bed. How the hell did she get in here anyway?”

“She paid a guy, a couple guys, I guess.”

“You didn’t answer my other question,” I snapped.

He stood up and walked back toward the door. Reaching down, he lifted up my backpack by the strap. “Looks like you are all packed and ready to go.” He threw my pack down.

I stared at him in disbelief. “You’re mad at me?” I asked. “I came back to
our
hotel room to a naked freaking super model and you’re mad at
me
.” I was definitely losing control.

“I am not responsible for the naked woman. And what fucking difference does it make if she’s a model or not?”

“You are infuriating.”

“Tell me Baby, what difference does it make?” He was actually shouting at me. I couldn’t believe it.

“Because I had to look at her ridiculously amazing, fucking perfect body lying in my bed!” I shouted back.

“Again, how is that
my
fault?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have this conversation right now,” I said, trying to regain control of my emotions.

“Run away. Is that what you’re gonna do?”

“I didn’t say that. I just think that we are both too pissed off to have a productive discussion right now.”

Sean took a deep breath. “You’re right. But
I’m
the one who’s leaving this time!” Then he slipped out the door, slamming it behind him.

What the hell did that mean? This time? I’d never left him before. My bag was not, in fact, packed. It just happened to be by the door because that’s where I left it.

Sean had jumped to the wrong conclusion. He so easily believed that I would just take off, that he hadn’t given me the benefit of the doubt for one second.

I was already hurting. I was already questioning everything. I needed Sean to understand my insecurities. I needed him to hold me and tell me that it was going be all right, that we could make it.

He thought I would leave him when things got tough. But I hadn’t planned to. I had planned to work through it, with his help, with his support. I didn’t get it. Instead, I got anger and assumptions.

So I made his assumption true. I packed my bag, quickly and efficiently. I cried the whole time. By the time I reached the hallway, Sean was long gone, most likely he was in Mike’s room, or Henry’s, or even at the gym. I made my way down the back stairs and out into the parking lot. It was a short walk to a main street, where I easily caught a cab to the airport.

25

It was the last day of my first week of work for the season. Jessica was outside taking down the flag. Jason was answering one last question from a group of hikers. Kendra was clearing out the auditorium, and I was standing next to the cash register, waiting to close it down.

Jessica ran in, her eyes wide. She was pointing her finger at her shoulder in a gesture I recognized to mean ‘look behind me.’

And there he was.

Still looking as big as life, despite the ordinary khaki shorts and plain grey t-shirt he wore, Sean Rush had just walked into my visitor center. Our eyes locked and he headed straight toward me.

I was frozen to the spot. I could barely hear the intense silence that overtook the entire building over the pounding of my heart. Sean stopped directly in front of the counter and laid his hands on top of it, so that they were just inches from where my own hands rested.

“Hi, Baby,” he said softly.

“Hi,” I whispered.

It had been exactly fourteen days since I’d seen him last, but it felt like an eternity.

“Listen, I was wondering if we could talk when you’re finished for the day,” he said casually. “This nice lady here,” he gestured to Jessica, “said that you were just getting ready to close.”

I nodded.

“So can we talk?”

I nodded.

“Should I wait outside?”

I reached into my pants pocket and retrieved my keys. I held them out to him. “Um… I bought a trailer with my car money. It’s up on the hill in the employee housing, number 15.” I pointed in the direction. “You could wait there for me.”

Sean took the keys from me, making sure to touch as much of my hand as he could in the process. “Sounds perfect. I’ll see you soon.”

Then he walked out the door.

****

Now here I am thirty minutes later, telling the story to my co-workers. They are staring at me in rapt attention. Jessica and Kendra look like they might throw up, which is pretty much how I feel, and Jason is wide-eyed with awe.

“So that’s the whole story,” I say.

“Now what?” Jessica asks.

I sigh. “I have no idea. I should probably stop stalling though and take the walk of shame up the hill.”

“He came here, right,” Kendra says. “He obviously wants you back.”

“Or maybe he just wants to tie up loose ends,” Jason suggests.

We all turn to stare at him.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jessica asks.

He shrugs. “The guy is famous. I don’t mean reality show famous. I mean
really
famous.”

“Yeah, thanks for pointing that out Jason,” I say sarcastically.

“My point is that a guy like that can’t leave loose ends.”

“You think I’m a loose end?”

He shrugs. “You’re an ordinary girl who fell in love with him and then took off. Who knows what you’ll do. You could sell your story to a trashy magazine.”

“You’re an ass Jason,” Jessica says. “Don’t listen to him. Sean’s here because he loves you and he wants you back.”

I stand up and walk to the door. “Well, I guess I’ll go find out.”

Thankfully none of them follow me out, giving me the chance to walk alone back to housing. Having told the story gives me a fresh perspective on my situation. For the last two weeks everything has been muddled up in my emotions. I’ve missed Sean, but I didn’t reach out to him. I was so sure that he would never forgive me for the way I left. And he didn’t call me either, which led me to believe I was right.

Now he’s here. He’s come all the way out to Death Valley and tracked me down. Jason’s theory is ridiculous. I know Sean better than that. I am much more to him than a ‘loose end.’ Which of course leads to the ultimate truth, no matter how badly I’ve behaved, Sean loves me, and I love him. So where does that leave us? Sean can’t change his life, and I don’t want to change mine. But can a rock star and a park ranger really have a future together?

I’d left out a few things when I told the story to my co-workers just now. I’d left out the phone calls I’d received from both Mike and Henry. At first I let their calls go to voicemail, too afraid and confused to confront the situation. But then Henry had left a message that tore me to pieces. ‘So you left us all I guess.’ It was all he said. I called him back right away.

Henry and I had avoided talking about Sean at all. We discussed my move to Death Valley and my new trailer. I told him that I was tired of having roommates and wanted a place of my own. Since I hadn’t spent any of the money I’d set aside for the trip this spring, I decide to upgrade my living situation. I’d even sent him pictures of my new abode.

Mike was a little tougher. My stomach was in knots when I answered the next call he made. I knew that there was a good possibility that Sean was even in the room with him while we spoke. And it was, as I’d feared, awkward at first.

But Mike had always been my ally in normalcy, and he used that calm me down. We talked about normal things like books and movies, but avoided music. Then he told me that my mother had been calling. She had, of course, been calling me, too. We both knew what she wanted, and it brought attention to the elephant in the room.

My mother was certain that Sean was sent from the heavens to straighten my life out. She lambasted me about leaving him, until I was avoiding her calls above all others. I apologized to Mike for having to put up with her and promised him I would tell her not to call him anymore. That’s when the conversation got really awkward.

“It’s not me she’s been calling,” Mike said hesitantly.

“Oh,” I said. “I’ll call her right away and tell her to knock it off.”

“No, Baby, I don’t think you need to do that. You see, they get along very well. They have these long conversations about everything under the sun.”

It made me wonder what the hell they talked about, besides me. I chuckle at the thought of Sean and Mom chatting away about her book club as I crest the hill.

I can see my trailer now, an expensive-looking SUV parked in front of it, beside my rusty pick-up. I still have no plan, no idea what to say to Sean, what to share with him, what to withhold. But I do know how I feel, that is crystal clear to me. And that, at least, is a start.

The trailer is small. In fact the ceiling is a good six inches shorter than Sean. There is a small sitting area immediately to the right of the door, but it’s cramped and the table is up, Sean could never fit his legs under there. Along the wall is the kitchenette, across from which is a small chair and end table where I read, also way too small to accommodate him. But in the back, past the bathroom and closet, sits my bed.

Sean is sitting up, his back against the wall. He’s kicked off his shoes and has his legs stretched across the entire length of the bed. It had occurred to me when I bought this trailer that he probably wouldn’t fit in here. But seeing it in person is almost comical.

“I know you’re small Baby, but you can’t even stretch out in this thing,” he says, tapping his feet against the wall opposite him.

“Well, as you know, I sleep in the fetal position, so it works out okay.”

He smiles at me. I want to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. Instead, I lean against the bathroom door, cross my arms over my chest, and regard him casually.

“So you bought this thing, eh?”

I nod, repressing a grin. He is back with the Canadian thing, and I love it.

“How did you get it here?”

“That beat-up old pick-up out there came with it.”

“Hmmm, you know what I’ve been sitting here thinking about?”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve been thinking how awful it is that the woman I love has to live in a crappy trailer and drive a crappy truck. See, from my perspective that’s not fair. If I wanted to buy jewelry for my girl, or take her out to a place where a meal costs more than this trailer – and believe me those places exist – that wouldn’t be so strange. But see, you wouldn’t like it if I bought you jewelry, and you’d throw a fit if I tried to take you to eat at a place like that. You’d say it was a waste of money.”

“I suppose I would.”

“And you’d be right. But I
could
buy you a decent trailer.”

I don’t know what to say. I just stare at him.

He continues, as if he’s arguing a point. “This trailer is short, short enough that if you wanted to have your good friend Hank over for coffee and a game of cards he’d hit his head as soon as he walked in, and where the hell would he sit?” He looks around as if to emphasize his point. “And what about me? If I do manage to talk my way back into your bed, well,” he spreads his hands out, “this really won’t do.”

“You make some good points.”

“I know, right.”

Then Sean gets a serious look on his face, and I know the conversation is taking a turn. My stomach churns.

“You left your toothbrush,” he says.

“What?”

“And a bunch of hair ties, a pair of green and yellow striped socks, and a CD.”

I have no idea how to respond to this.

Sean says softly, “I should have just talked to you that day.”

I sit down on the edge of the bed and face him, wanting to be close. “I shouldn’t have left.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t call.”

“I consulted with the two dumbasses and my sister. Hank thought I should run after you immediately. Mike said that you needed time and I should wait a while. My sister agreed with Mike. It seemed like a good idea, especially when you were refusing to answer calls from both of them.”

He takes a deep breath. “So, I finished the tour, then I went home to Malibu. By the time we got back, you’d starting talking to both Mike and Hank. They said they would ask you about me soon, you know, test the waters. I was supposed to just be patient. I made it six days before I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t care if you were so pissed at me you slammed the door in my face or if you ran a fucking marathon trying to get away from me. I had to see you. So I drove down here. Did you know that there is more than one visitor center here?”

I nod, amused.

“And this park is huge. Anyway, it took a while, but I found you.”

“And now that you have?”

“I want to ask some questions.”

“Okay. I have a question I want to ask you, too.”

Sean folds his hands behind his head and leans back. “You go first.”

I fidget with the quilt nervously. I can’t seem to meet his eyes as I ask, “What did Victoria Dee tell you?”

“Let me start by saying that I should have known better than to believe a single thing she had to say.” He takes a deep breath. “She said that she ambushed you. When you got back to the room she was inside on the bed. She’d paid quite a few people off to find our room and get in.”

He looks at me as if to ask for confirmation of this story. I nod. So he continues. “She was wearing lingerie. That part I knew was true.”

“How?”

He looks like he doesn’t want to tell me this, but he does anyway. “She showed me.”

“Where exactly did this conversation take place?”

“In a back stairwell at the hotel. She caught me coming in the lobby. The two of us attract a bit of attention, so we slipped into a stairwell. Anyway, she told me a lot of things that she said to you. Not pleasant things.” He hesitates. “She said she told you that you weren’t good enough for me, that you weren’t pretty enough or tough enough, and that you couldn’t handle my lifestyle.”

He pauses again, so I nod.

He lets out a long breath. “I was pissed. I just about walked away from her from right then. But she started in on how you’d already decided to leave me. She said she watched you pack your bag.”

He looks at me again, waiting for the confirmation. I shake my head.

“I guess I should have known she was lying. But I was so upset. I hightailed it up to the room and got in your face. I suppose that was her end game anyway.”

“I suppose you heard from her after that,” I say.

“She tried to call.” Sean rubs a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Baby.”

“Still. I shouldn’t have left,” I tell him.

A silence buzzes between us for a moment, and I realize it’s time for me to face the music. “I guess it’s your turn.”

Sean unfolds his arms from behind his head and leans toward me. “My first question is, do you love me?”

“Yes. I do.”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me enough that if you found me in our hotel room fully dressed with a naked woman you would believe me that it wasn’t my fault?”

“Yes.”

“And next week when I have a photo shoot for a magazine cover and there’ll be six scantily-clad women hanging all over me for the shoot, will you freak out?”

“Is that really happening?”