Love Obsessed (3 page)

“Colby cheese. I thought that you were going to bed.”

His jaw tenses, “I am. You should hang up the phone and go to bed, too. You know Mum keeps you busy.”

“Ok. I’ll say goodnight and then go to sleep.”

He lingers in the doorway. “What are you guys talking about?”

“You,” I smile over at him.

“And how you’re a pompous ass with the worst timing,” Cole says over the speaker.

I widen my eyes, “Cole!”

“What did he say?” Brandon lifts himself off the door.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Look, I’m saying goodbye now.” Taking my conversation back to the one with Cole, I say, “I need to sleep. It’s late, and I’m heading to Mum’s tomorrow.”

“It’s ok, Sweetheart. Sweet dreams and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Night, love you too,” and the phones disconnect. Placing mine back on the side table, I notice Brandon’s hands are clenched fists.  “Why are your fists clenched?”

Eyeing them, he unclenches them, clenches them again and unclenches them, keeping them open. He comes over to me. With his hand on my shoulder, he leans down and kisses the top of my head, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

Cole

“Hey, Mum... Dad,” I say as I walk into the house. They are having their traditional ten o’clock cup of tea. Sitting down at the table, I take in the old house. It was built before my time, but has been renovated numerous times by the family. We boys got conned into helping with the renovations last time. Although the house has been re-one, it still has that old feeling to it; the walls are still original. From where I sit, I can see the kitchen. It has been re-done more than once. It’s Mum’s requirement. Every time Dad feels the need to re-do the house, Mum gets a new kitchen. The one thing that never changes when the kitchen is re-done, is the door frame that divides the kitchen from the dining room; it has the marks of our heights and ages indented in it.

“Hey, Cole. You’re here early.”

“Hmmm, thought that you might need help with something before everyone else arrives.”

Dad places his cup down, eyeing me. “What did you do?” I take my eyes away from the door frame and focus them in on Dad. We definitely take after him more than Mum. I know that Mum wanted a daughter, but having three boys proved enough, until Erin. When Erin came along, Mum finally got the daughter she wanted, and she took full advantage of it.

“I have no idea to what you’re referring too.”

“You don’t, huh? You’re never here before everyone else, let alone, offering your help.”

“Judgmental much? Cant a son offer to help his parents out?” They both eye me, and it’s scary.

“What are you up to?” Mum asks.

“Nothing.” Everything, really. I finally had the conversation with Erin last night, and she didn’t shut me down. She sounded like, given the option, she would go out with me, and let me love her the proper way; the way I want to, the way she deserves. “Erin just graduated, and now she needs to find her feet away from Brandon and having the stability of school to fall back on.”

“Don’t start anything. Don’t make trouble,” Dad warns.

The thought occurred to me last night, after Brandon interrupted what was perhaps one of the most important conversations of my life. Brandon won’t be with her every second of the day anymore. He won’t be able to constantly call her, or text her, and he won’t be able to just turn up where ever she is.

“I’m not looking to make trouble.”

They think about that for a moment. “We heard what happened last night. I hope Erin was ok afterwards.”

I start to pick at the table cloth. “She was angry at him, and they had an argument. She seemed ok when we talked later that night.” I shrug. “Are they staying the night?” I love having Erin around, but when they stay over here, they share a bed. I hate it. My parents are eyeing me again. “What?” I ask, offended that they would think that I’m up to something. Alas, my parents know me too well. 

“Probably. I don’t know for sure. Will you be staying?”

I shrug again, “Maybe. Depends how many I get into me before the night ends. Oh!” Here comes my plan, “What do you guys say about inviting everyone over, the whole shebang, and celebrate Erin being a graduate.”

“That’s a good idea. Where would we put everyone?”

“In tents. We could camp out.” Again with the eyeing, and Dad shakes his head. 

“Fair warning, Cole... I will not be pulling Brandon off of you. You’ll be on your own.”

“You have nothing to worry about, old man.”

***

Erin looks beyond gorgeous, sitting on the ground with the light from the fire flickering across her skin; so happy and just so beautiful. We got everyone around, the tents pitched, a fire blazing, the BBQ cooking, and Erin. It isn’t just family here. There are friends and acquaintances, too. This thing ended up being bigger than I had expected, but the bigger, the better. Brandon has been eyeing me all afternoon and night. He hasn’t said anything to me, but I know that he’s trying to figure out my game. Except it’s not my game, it’s my life. He’s had her for four years, and it’s my turn to cherish her and be with her. He’s off with some girl, and I watch him, making sure that he can’t see what I’m about to do.

People have been congratulating and talking to her all night. We are all very proud of her. Erin gets up and walks away from the fire and toward the house. I watch her and keep an eye on Brandon. His attention is on the red head in his arms, so I take my opportunity and head toward the house after her. It’s quiet. Everyone is outside. I look around downstairs, taking in the lounge room and all of its high tech; a large television mounted onto the wall, the large corner brown couch, the various photos and memorabilia that have been collected over the years; but no Erin. She must be upstairs. I head up the steps, walking past more photos. Damn Mum and her photos; this place is like a shrine. Once at the top, I lean against the wall opposite Brandon’s room, that’s where she’ll be up here alone, and wait for her in the hallway. She comes out of Brandon’s room, sees me, and stops. “Colby cheese, is everything ok?”

“Yeah, honey, can I talk to you for a moment?” I know that it won’t take long for Brandon to realise that Erin is missing, and that I am too. I need to make this as quickly as possible.

“Of course.” Her smile is huge, so mine stretches to that size too. I point to my bedroom door.

“In private” I say quietly. I walk into my room, Erin follows, and I close the door behind her. I turn to see her sitting on my single bed, ignoring the posters of the half naked girls and the baseball bat and glove sitting on the empty desk. I approach her and sit beside her, getting a tight hold on her hands, her hands sitting perfectly in mine. “Erin.” I’m nervous, yeah, but time is of the essence here, so I have to work past it.

“What’s up?” she asks, those big brown eyes looking at me.

“I love you,” I say to her, wanting her to get that she is the love of my life, that there is more behind those words that I tell her every day.

She smiles, “I love you, too.”

I smile. She doesn’t get it yet, but she will. “I’ve been practicing this all day, so bear with me. You know how you’re always telling me that one day my girl will come along, and I’ll want to settle down and get married and have a family?”

“Yeah.”

“Erin? Oh, there you are. Brandon is looking for you. He’s getting a bit frantic out there.” Amy, a cousin, announces after barging into my room and interrupting the most important conversation of my life. 

“I’ll be down soon. Tell him to calm his farm,” Erin says. Amy nods and closes the door behind her. “Are you telling me that you found your girl, Colby cheese?” She turns her attention back to me and our conversation.

“Yes, I am. I found her a long time ago.” She’s so happy for me. She doesn’t get it, though.

“Do I know her? Who is she?” she asks, truly excited at the prospect of me having found someone.

Words aren’t getting through to her. I take a deep breath in preparation. I’ve dreamt and day dreamed about doing this since the day I met her. I slowly lean down, eyeing her lips, when she is pulled away and is no longer sitting next to me.

“You fucking moron!” Brandon bellows.

“Brandon!” Erin yells.

I stand up. “Erin, honey, go back outside, ok,” I suggest, not wanting her to see this.

“No, not unless you come with me. I’m sick of you two always fighting.

I’m eyeing Brandon, who is eyeing me with one arm out stretched in front of Erin, stopping her from coming into the room anymore then she already is. “Baby, go outside and enjoy the party. We won’t be long here.” Brandon says over his shoulder at her.

“No.”

“What’s going on up here?” Mum enters the room.

“They’re going to fight again,” Erin fills her in.

“Erin, honey.” Mum puts a hand on her shoulder, saying something to her that is lost when Brandon punches me. I hear a scream and someone yelling stop as I get up and return the favour.

Erin

“Erin?” I hear my name being called as I run out of the house, get into my car, and leave the house as fast as possible. Cole wanted to talk to me about something. It sounded like he was telling me about a girl he met, one that got his heart, and then he tried to kiss me. Brandon barged through the door and yanked me off the bed and away from him. He was furious. Everyone is going to be mad that I left. Whoever called after me will tell them, and tomorrow I will deal with the consequences of my actions.

I go to a hotel, get a room, go straight to the bed, crawl under the blankets, and cry. There is no running from this, no avoiding what clearly could have happened, and no denying that I wouldn’t have stopped Cole.

I’m so tired of those boys fighting over me. I don’t think they know that I know, but I do. I have for years. They both love me; they both tell me regularly. And I love them. The only problem is that if I choose one, I lose the other, and I can’t lose one. I need them both.

I cry myself to sleep, and when I wake, the sun has risen. I crawl out of bed and decide to head home. When I get home, the apartment is quiet. I stand still, straining to hear something, any sign of movement, any sound, but get nothing. I jump into the shower, trying to wash away the past forty-eight hours. After having a shower, I head into the kitchen, looking in the pantry to find something to eat. Failing at that, I venture to the freezer, finding ice-cream. I pull it out, and when I close the door, turning to get a spoon, a very angry and worried Brandon is standing in the lounge room, breathing deeply and staring at me. I freeze, hand to the drawer. I didn’t hear him come in.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asks, deceptively quiet. He’s trying very hard to stay calm. Brandon would never hurt me, but he would go out looking for a fight.

Placing the ice-cream tub down on the bench, I say, “I thought that we all could use some space, so I stayed at a hotel for the night.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before coming over and engulfing me in a hug, holding me tight and long. “I didn’t know where you were. Clair said that she saw you leave. I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was so worried, Erin. You can’t do that to me. You can’t leave me, ever.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He kisses my head, continuing to hold me to him. I don’t know how long we stay like this, but eventually a phone starts to ring. Hesitantly, Brandon lets me go and answers it.

“She’s back home. She needed some space. She’s fine, safe. Tell everyone, will you? No, I think that Erin needs some time. It’s been a big couple of days for her. Alright, Mum. We love you, too.” He hangs up. Guilt. That’s what I feel. I know that my actions last night were selfish, and my consequence for that is guilt.

“You worried a lot of people,” I was informed.

A tear runs down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. “I didn’t mean too. I didn’t know what to do. You two are always fighting. I don’t like it when you fight.”

“I was protecting you.”

“I know.” More tears run free. He does mean well.

“Don’t cry, baby.” Brandon hugs me again. “Don’t cry.”

***

I text everyone, apologising for my behaviour, and let them know that I am back home. They all respond, saying they understand and not to do it again. Dad grounded me. Cole calls me, though, and for the first time ever, I debate whether to let it go to voice mail. I don’t. “Hey,” I whisper into the phone.

He takes a shattered deep breath before he speaks, “Hey, honey, how are you?”

“I’m good. You?” Our conversation is spoken in whispers only.

“I’m scared, to tell you the truth. When we were told that you left, and then we couldn’t find you... God, Erin. Was it because of me? Because of what I said, what I almost did, wanted to do?”

“No.”

“Then why did you run?”

“I got scared.”

“Of,” he prompts.

I guess it’s time to face this, “Of me and you. Of...” Breathe, Erin. He’s not here to see the tears and the fear, “Because I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

Cole takes a sharp intake of air. “Erin.” His voice sounds chopped up.