Love at 11 (15 page)

I walked over to a vendor and waited in a ridiculous line to pay an obscene five dollars for a tiny bottle of water. As I headed back to Jamie, bottle in hand, I saw him talking to a small blond girl in pigtails, dressed in a candy-colored jumper. Jealousy burned my gut. After all, if Jamie were going to cheat on his fiancée, it should be with me. Not some random chick.

“Who was that?” I asked. The girl had scurried away at my approach. Little desert rat.

Jamie shrugged. “No one.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You look like you were having a pretty intense conversation for no one.” The moment the words left my lips I regretted them. Who was I to say who Jamie could talk to or not? Even if we were together, I was not that kind of girl. What had gotten into me? Jealous of the attention someone else’s guy was getting from another woman? Lame, Maddy. Truly lame.

“If you must know, she was trying to sell me drugs.” My eyes widened. “That girl?
She
was a drug dealer?

She didn’t even look sixteen.”

He shrugged. “I guess they must be slacking down at the drug dealer licensing department.”

“Ha, ha.” I took a sip of my water and offered some to Jamie. He slugged a good portion down. I grabbed it back. After paying five dollars I wanted more than one sip. “Still, that’s sad, don’t you think? I mean, she could be one of Lulu’s friends.”

She probably
was
one of Lulu’s friends, now that I thought about it. I guess thank God for small favors that my sister hasn’t gone down that road. Yet.

“Dude, you took the wrong water bottle.” A dread-locked, scrawny guy with really weird tattoos interrupted as he stalked over in our direction. He held out another, identical-looking bottle and looked expectantly at the one I was holding.

“Oh.” I looked at the two bottles. Between Jamie and me, we’d drunk most of ours. “Oh well. Might as well keep it, right? I mean more for you that way.”

Scrawny guy frowned. What was his problem? “Dude, I paid like thirty bucks for that.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You paid thirty bucks for water? I think you got ripped off, man.” I laughed and took another sip.

He rolled his eyes. “Not for the water, idiot. For the drugs dissolved in it.”

I choked.

“What drugs?” Jamie demanded. “Did you dose her drink?”

“Dude, it’s
my
drink. You think I wanted to waste my X on this chick? She’s not even cute.”

I sputtered, spitting the water out of my mouth onto the ground. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. I’m drugged. I’d been drugged! I was going to pass out and wake up naked in some skanky guy’s trailer.

“You bastard!” I cried. “You drugged me!”

“Yeah, so, can I have my thirty bucks since you’re going to be rolling and I’m not?” Scrawny Guy whined.

“Get the fuck out of here before I call the cops on you,” Jamie said, shoving him backward. Scrawny Guy must have realized he was no match for Jamie or not in the mood for cops and retreated, sad and drugless, into the sea of dancers. Jamie turned to me, grabbing me by my shoulders.

“Calm down, Maddy,” he commanded. “Don’t panic.”

“Don’t panic?” I cried. “Don’t panic? I’ve just taken drugs! Illegal drugs. What’s going to happen to me? Am I going to hallucinate? Will I see God? Oh, God, I don’t think I’m ready to see God!”

Jamie groaned. “It’s just Ecstasy, Maddy. I took it once or twice in college. You’re not going to see anything. You’re going to feel really warm and fuzzy and great in a few minutes and it’ll last for about four hours. As long as we keep you well hydrated there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are … are you sure?”

“Yes. You only had a few sips of water. You probably didn’t even get a full dose. We’ll just hang out here by the fire.”

“Maybe we should find a hospital. I mean, just in case.” I hated that I sounded wimpy, but, well, I was.

Jamie shook his head. “Can’t. I drank the water, too. It’d be unsafe for me to drive. And we know there’s no cell reception out here to call anyone.”

“Great. We’re going to die out here in the desert and no one will even know where to look for us.”

Jamie shook me. “Listen to me, Maddy. We’re going to be fine. As long as you don’t panic. Just let the drug move in gradually. And soon it will be gone. And someday you’ll look on this and laugh.”

“I doubt it.” I sulked. But already I felt my insides warming. And the concern and fear I felt a few seconds before were gradually slipping away. Damn drug. I should be frightened to death. Now all I could think about was how they called Ecstasy the “love drug.”

And Jamie and I were rolling together.

The Raver’s Guide to Ecstasy

The Multifaceted Jewel
: Ecstasy use can lead to world healing and inner peace. The pill can catalyze a powerful experience that takes many different forms. It can induce an intense, spiritual high or lead to loving relaxation. It can connect people freely and openly with each other or promote deep inner thinking and analysis.

TIPS WHILE ON ECSTASY

Drink lots of water to replenish bodily fluids. Otherwise you may die of heatstroke and that would be a bad thing.

Even if you don’t feel tired or overheated, stop dancing for a while—to chill out. (See above tip about heatstroke and dying.)

Outside raves, maintain a healthy diet. Take vitamins. Get a good night’s sleep. This will also ensure that your parents don’t think you’re a fuck-up and will allow you to go to more raves, thus giving you extra chances to explore yourself through Ecstasy.

Watch out for impure Ecstasy—bad drug dealers will try to sell you pills laced with amphetamines, LSD, heroin, and PCP. If you want to take these drugs on your own, fine. But don’t encourage dealers to skimp on the active ingredient (MDMA) in Ecstasy pills. The rest of us non-hardcore druggies will thank you.

Alcohol reduces or changes the effects of the drug. Besides, most of you are not old enough to legally drink it, so leave the beer at home!

Chapter Nine

I threw the drug pamphlet in the fire. What was done was done and worrying about it wouldn’t sober me up any sooner. Best to just sit tight and try to get through the evening best I could.

Jamie went to his bike and grabbed a beach towel. He spread it over the ground and we sat, as if partaking in an odd kind of drug picnic. We’d chosen a spot close to the bonfire and contented ourselves with watching the strange dance rituals of the raver kids with avid fascination.

They twirled and twirled like whirling dervishes, caught up in the power of the dance. I could see for the first time why tribes and witches used dancing in ceremonies. The power of the body’s movement was almost a spell in itself.

Personally, I had no interest in dancing. And as the Ecstasy kicked in, heating my body with a pleasant fire of its own, I actually felt increasingly lazy and content to sit there in that spot, next to Jamie, all night. My mind wandered as I stared into the fire, assessing all my problems—family, work, etc.—and deeming them all inconsequential. None of it mattered. And in the end, I realized, my life was wonderful. I had so much. I’d been blessed. There were thousands of poor, starving people out there, and here I was obsessing about my pain-in-the-ass family and job that, while it could be annoying as all hell, also kept me well above the poverty level.

Truly, everything would be fine.

Gentle hands gripped my shoulder and I turned from my fire gazing. Jamie smiled and began to massage my back.

“Does that feel good?” he asked. His face was flushed and his pupils dilated. Evidently the drug had kicked in for him, too.

“Mmm, yes,” I moaned in pleasure. A thousand different tingling feelings echoed through my every nerve at his touch. But it wasn’t sexual this time. Just a warm and fuzzy feeling. He was just trying to keep me relaxed and not panicked until the drug wore off. Nice of him, really. I squirmed closer so I was leaning against his chest. Cozy. Comfortable. Warm. What a nice guy. A really, really nice guy.

“Good,” he said, continuing to knead my back. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried about you for a minute there.”

“I appreciate that. But I’m fine, really. In fact, I can’t remember a time I’ve felt so relaxed.”

“It’s been a while for me, too. I mean, I’ve been so stressed out. With the moving, switching jobs, planning a wedding …”

Ugh. He had to bring that up, didn’t he? Major buzz-kill. But we were friends, I reminded myself. Friends should be able to talk about anything with each other. And I liked the fact he felt comfortable doing so. “How’s the wedding planning going?” I, Maddy Madison, friend extraordinaire, asked.

He groaned. “I try to stay out of it as much as possible. When I first proposed, all I had in mind was a simple ceremony—maybe on the beach at sunset with a few friends. She’s made it into the social event of the season.” His hands traveled to my hair, dragging his fingers down my scalp, which made for more tingling feelings. I loved head massages, especially in my skin’s hypersensitive state.

“Well, I’m sure it will be very nice.”