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Authors: John Crowley

Tags: #Fiction, #Science Fiction, #General

Love and Sleep (18 page)

BOOK: Love and Sleep
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Hildy drew Warren to his feet and grasped him, her eyes round and her mouth set in an awful bravery. “Wait,” Pierce whispered, not to Hildy, not to Bobby.

"Don't go to Detroit,” Bird said. “We want you to stay."

"Cain't live here,” Bobby said simply. A sudden jolting bark sounded from up on the mountain, a horn of great power sounding repeatedly. Pierce realized that for some time the grinding of the cats and the trucks had ceased. Bobby danced down the outcrop to the path and took Bird's hand. “Come on,” she said, and tugged Bird after her farther into the woods.

"Wait.” Pierce clambered down after her. “Wait."

"Don't you hear the sigh reen?” Bobby called back to him. “Y'all's got
five minutes
."

The horn drove them along behind her down the faint trail. Where amid piles of other rubbish an old refrigerator lay fallen headlong down the slope (thrown there long ago, the refrigerator's white was stained with rust) she stopped, pointed to where the path ran down. “Git along,” she said. “Down there's the road."

Now Bird was crying too, not from fear but from urgency, wringing her hands in a way Pierce had read of people doing and not been able to picture. “Don't go away, don't,” she wept.

The siren ceased, the world for a second stopped too.

"Gwan, git,” Bobby said, arms crossed against her colorless shirt.

"Come with us!” Pierce cried, knowing suddenly what the only possible solution to this was. “Run away! Come with us now!"

Bobby turned from the path and sat down in the shelter of the old refrigerator. Hildy and Warren had gone on ahead, hurrying, nearly out of sight.

"Don't stay with him,” Pierce said. “Stay with us. We'll protect you. Their Dad will."

"Cain't,” she said. She withdrew her gaze from Pierce, as though he had gone on already.

"It's not
true
,” he called to her retreating spirit. “It's
not
!"

Bird was tugging at his shirt, weeping. Bobby closed her eyes and put her fingers in her ears.

"
Pierce!"

He had to turn away then, with Bird, and hurry stumbling away with the others, the Invisible College in full retreat along a path that was not likely to lead anywhere but farther into the woods for good. The horn still sounding in his ears was his own heart beating, taking huge thudding turns.

"Will she be all right? Will she?” Bird wept.

The dynamite set off at the strip mine wasn't like movie explosions, mild, thunder-rumbling. It was less like a noise than like something huge that rushed with impossible speed down through the woods to whack them in the back. And then through the trees there came a dry rain of fragments pattering and dust whispering, coating the leaves and the path downward and the Invisible College too.

The road away appeared through the brush and the rubbish.

"We won't tell,” Hildy said fervently, eyes on the road below. “Don't any of you ever tell."

"We won't,” Bird said.

"We won't."

"Just don't,” Hildy said. “Not ever ever."

* * * *

[Back to Table of Contents]

 

Twelve

The Sun is ninety million miles from earth; it burns with an unquenchable nuclear heat, consuming its own atoms, each one a bonfire; it will burn for AEons, it will become a nova or a red giant or a white dwarf in a billion years or two or ten: but it won't go out like a candle, it won't refuse to shine. She did not need to believe the things she believed; he could show her how to drop it, forget it, return into the world from it. Dinosaurs. Didn't she know there had been dinosaurs once, their bones are in museums, they lived for a million, ten million years on earth, hundreds of times longer than human beings have even been alive. When the Bible says “six days,” they don't mean days, they mean ages of earth, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Eocene. Why even
have
all those years, countless years, before man if the world was just going to end? Why? Why would God be so dumb?

He sat on the steps of the breezeway thinking, thinking, for hours together, his hands and his mouth in unconscious motion, convincing Bobby that the story she thought was happening had no authority whatever to happen. The summer sky was hooded with dust, the air not refreshing but ashy, and a red sun, ghastly, going down for the last time.

"Fire somewhere,” Sam at the screen door behind him said. “Criminal."

What could he do? It was as though she were going off, not to Deetroit, but into the darkness of the story's conclusion she had told, into the night of the world's end and the dead rising, whose weather Pierce sensed gathering around him as he plotted desperately to keep her from it. That the Invisibles could ever have saved her, ever have rescued her as Bird had last summer been daily rescued from the play-bonds and play-prisons that held her—Pierce knew it had only been a game, a game's dangerous and thrilling extension into somewhere beyond pretend but still a game, they were all only kids and not knights really: and yet it was
as though
it weren't a game but a true story he was caught within, a story in which he had failed to do what the hero was supposed to do, had lost his sword and his map, had no real resources after all, did not know what a hero would know, how to make the sky lighten, the dreadful magic lift.

How many nights and days did he live within the spell? He couldn't think how to ask Sam's help or even Winnie's: to ask his mother's help would have meant confessing to her how afraid he was, and thus running the risk of breaking the bond between them—the risk of bringing to her an insoluble problem that would shatter her rest, force her to fruitless action, and cost him her unqualified love.

So he turned, finally, to the one person who was outside the story and yet all unawares inside it too: he went in shame and hopeless hope to ask his President what he should do.

"So what the heck,” Joe Boyd said. “She should go. Detroit's better than here."

"But it's really important she not go. Really important."

Joe Boyd looked away from the television, where with careful gravity Mr. Wizard was at work, transforming one thing into another, while his young friend watched. “Why?” he asked.

Pierce would not answer that; could not answer when he asked it of himself. In Mr. Wizard's jar a crystal grew within the fluid, many-sided, brilliant. “Just what if it was,” Pierce said. “Really important."

Joe Boyd thought. “Well it's not
her
that's going. It's
him.
She's just a little kid. She doesn't have a say. So you have to keep him from going."

"How?"

That took more thought. Joe Boyd seemed to slip away entirely for a time into Mr. Wizard's garage, where now from his pocket the wizard drew gemstones. “Pay him,” Joe Boyd said at last.

"What?"

"Pay him to stay. Make it worth it to him, to stay."

"But pay him what? I don't have anything to pay him with."

"It wouldn't have to be much,” Joe Boyd said. “Just enough to make him think there's more. To think there's more here. Then he'll stay around."

Pierce sat confounded for a long time, waiting for more, his waiting growing increasingly burdensome to his cousin, who turned at last and asked why he had to hang around.

* * * *

Just enough to make him think there's more. Drawing precious gemstones from his pocket: Look. More where this came from. In the basement he stood before the soft-roaring furnace, and with the blackened crook he opened its door. Its voice grew louder; he gazed afraid and resolute into the interior, where blue flames skittered over the coruscating lava; he swallowed its bitter breath. Into its white-hot heart he plunged the tongs (abstracted from the never-used set of fire tools beside the fireplace above) and with them grasped the centermost coal and drew it out.

Quickly, with Sam's tools and vise and with the force of his need and his knowledge, he tormented the coal until it had to give up the diamond it somehow was: there, on the charred workbench, the tiny living stone hatched from the exhausted cinder, refracting its first gasp of light.

No it was high summer and the furnace of course was cold; what he did was to go upstairs to Sam's room when Sam was far away (delivering a baby, or maybe bringing a dead man back to life as he had done once by striking him in the heart with all his might) and take from Sam's drawer the little box containing Opal's diamond ring. With Sam's needle-nose pliers he pulled away the tiny golden claws that grasped the stone, and when it was loose he shook it into his palm: smaller there than it had appeared to be in Opal's ring, and seeming likely to roll away, get lost, avoid its fate.

He put the stone into a velvet pouch no into the plastic box from which Sam had taken the ampoule of penicillin he'd injected into Pierce. Alone he went back up the road to Hogback, and when he stood in the dirt of the yard he called out to Floyd Shaftoe no to Bobby.

Show this to your father. Tell him I found it in the old Good Luck mine. Tell him that deep down in the mine, I'll tell him where, there's coal that's become diamonds. Tell him I won't tell anyone else. He won't want to go away to Detroit.

She took it no he went with her into the cabin, where Floyd shirtless and shoeless lay on the bed, the long scars white over his torso. He looked into the box that Bobby held solemnly up to him and saw the shy glowing stone within: beckoned, awed, fooled.

Or no he took the road not up to Hogback but the other way, toward Good Luck Number Two. He followed the railroad tracks along the Little No Name, through the town of Good Luck where no one lived and where the gray cabins in their rows watched him go by, and past the Good Luck school whose inside he would never know and the Good Luck hospital likewise from which Mousie said they used to throw out like cut-off arms and feet and such into the crick where you'd see them floatn.

Strike up the wooded mountainside, climb the wall of shale above which the tipple could be seen (he had seen it, once, from Sam's Nash) and up to the mouth of the mine itself, Good Luck Number Two, an arch riven into the mountain, into which the traintracks disappeared. He had flashlight and paper and pencil, and in his pack the plastic box with Opal's stone. He began at the entrance, marking on his paper the arch of it; then he began a dotted line, mimic of his own progress in and downward.

The flashlight, topped up with Evereadies that projected an unfailing cone of light into the darkness, showed him the squat shapes of miner's cars, like placid bears asleep; the posts and beams of the low roof; the naked electric wires that Sam deplored running close overhead, but juiceless now maybe probably. At every broad room, corridors crossed, and after choosing one Pierce marked the turning on his map. And when he had turned downward and then downward again into darkness deep enough to feel and taste, where the tracks ran out, where the miners had quit forever and their picks and shovels lay abandoned, he took out the plastic box, and from it the jewel; and he placed it naked on the shelf of coal. X marks the spot.

Time to turn back then, follow the map outward, mail the map to Floyd Shaftoe no carry it to him no lose it on his farm. No.

No. Pierce on a white afternoon came up the dusty road to Good Luck Number Two, feeling his plan rapidly evanescing but willing belief in it anyway, and with the reproachful stone in his pocket. A voice that since he had come down from Bobby's place on Hogback had gone on talking to him unceasingly and so loudly he could hardly hear anything else was, if not done talking, growing at least distant and intermittent.

He should have known it. He had known it, only he had not been able to think of what to do with the knowledge, and so had refused to recognize it: The mine, the real mine, wasn't a mouth cut into the wooded mountain's face but a large and daunting industrial installation, the more daunting for being on the way to ruin. There was Absolutely No Trespassing, and violators would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Well that's great, Pierce said in Winnie's voice, just great. The chainlink fence across the road stopped him a long way from the mine entrance, which was itself housed in a complex building of corrugated steel and filthy windows. A place to have an accident in, fall down, stab yourself on a rusty spike, get lockjaw. Tall structures—breakers, washers, sorters—stood up on skinny rusty legs over the endless slate dump. On the tallest of them the name Good Luck was painted, and (scrubbed almost to invisibility in the corrosive air) the company's sign, a hand of four aces neatly displayed. Good luck.

Even then he thought it was possible that if he dared climb the fence, if he dared to get to the mine and break a window and scramble in, if he could get down inside (he remembered now how on television the miners had gone down an open elevator into the depths), if he could do all that just by the strength of his needing to, then it might be that his plan could still be brought off; he might by his effort make this obdurate place the nexus of his desires. But he knew he wouldn't do it.

It was fiercely hot in the roadway, summer had already lost its sweet newness, it was an alien planet too hot for life. Why shouldn't she go to Detroit anyway.

Why shouldn't she if she wants. It's only a city.

Wake up, he thought, you dope.

He felt himself awaken, at his own command or simultaneously with it; he felt himself shed, ashamed, a game he had been playing alone, as though he had been caught at it by a mocking grownup, himself. But even as he came to, jamming his hands into his pockets and looking around himself, he went on sleepwalking away as well; and he didn't know that. It was as though, while he stood at Good Luck's fence looking within, Pierce Moffett, who had been one up till then, came invisibly, undetectably, in two: one part of him passing into an underground river like sleep, where for years it would remain; and another part left alive aboveground, grown-up and dry-eyed, where wishes did not come true, where he did not know how plans were made, or deeds done. Not until earth at length shifted in its course, and the dark river broke from its bed, would the lost boy come forth to stand before Pierce, and claim his place: the hidden at length patent, and the inside out.

BOOK: Love and Sleep
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