Love and Let Die (23 page)

“All these years, you just jacked off thinking about me?” There was a challenge in that question, but it was one she could match.

“I don’t think I would call it jacking off. I think that’s more a male thing. I masturbated thinking about you. I tried to hold off, but the dreams would get to me. I would dream and you would be there, touching me, holding me down and having your way with me. You would take me any way you wanted, anywhere you wanted, and I was helpless to do anything to stop you.”

Yeah, that was doing something for him. If it was possible, she thought his cock hardened further. “Because I tied you down?”

“Because I wanted you so badly I would do anything to have you, Master. Anything to please you.”

“Would you?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t worked her ass off for five years, dodging bullets along the way, to deny him sexually. “Anything you want, my Master.”

She could make him the promise because she trusted the man with her life. He’d never brought her any pain that hadn’t enhanced her pleasure. He’d never taken her to any place but pure paradise when it came to making love.

“I’m clean, Charlie. I just had a physical.”

He was really going to fuck her. God, how long had she waited? “I’m perfectly clean, too. No sex since you. I swear my fingers don’t have any STDs. I thought about buying a vibrator once, but I figured you might object.”

She’d found one online that was just shy of his size. She’d planned on calling it Ian, but she’d been a little afraid she might end up being way too attached to an object.

“No one is using a vibrator on you but me,” he said, proving her first instinct right. “I mean it. While I’m topping you, I control the orgasms. If I catch you playing with a pocket rocket, you won’t come for a very long time. Now, pay attention. Are you on birth control?” The question came out of his mouth in a low growl.

It was right there on the tip of her tongue to tell him yes. She’d meant to start, but a million things had to be taken care of and she’d let that little detail slip away. She’d needed time to recuperate from her gunshot wound and then she didn’t want to waste another minute before she got back to Ian. And there had been a little notion in the back of her head that everything might go better than expected and he might not want her on birth control. It had been a stupid idea, but it now left her with a choice.

She could tell him yes and he would take her without anything between them. When she’d come to him the first time, she’d known she would sleep with him, known that was her job. Before the op, she’d taken a shot promised to protect her from pregnancy for three months. He would believe her. He would think she just stayed on it all the time. If she got pregnant, he couldn’t leave her behind. He would have to keep her. A child could bind them together, could make it impossible for them to really be apart.

“I’m not, Master. You should wear a condom.” She couldn’t lie to him. Not ever again. She owed him, and she wouldn’t keep him with another set of lies.

He cursed and walked to the small wardrobe against the side of the west wall. He drew it open, revealing that there weren’t clothes in this particular closet. There were boxes of toys and restraints, bottles of lube and rows of condoms. He tore one free and sheathed his dick, grabbing a bottle of lube before closing the door again.

“If we’re together for any amount of time, I want you on birth control, Charlie. I won’t take any chances.” He lubed up his cock, his hand running along it in long, hard passes.

He wouldn’t take the chance that she would get pregnant. The words shouldn’t hurt. She knew it was utterly stupid to get pregnant at this point. There were way too many problems, but hearing him reject the idea made her ache. She hadn’t told him that when she dreamed, yes, she dreamed of him inside her, but she also dreamed about cuddling up to him, their baby in his arms. She dreamed of a life with him.

“Anything I want, Charlie?” The challenge was back in his voice, in his arrogant stance.

“Yes, Master.”

“On all fours.” He indicated that she should stay on the bed.

Charlie flipped over, doing his bidding and getting to her hands and knees. He could control the penetration better this way. It was a little lie she told herself. She felt the bed move as he placed himself behind her. A long sigh came out of his mouth, and his hands ran along her spine down to her backside.

“God, you have the most beautiful ass, baby.” He cupped her, groaning his appreciation before letting his hands slide up to touch her dangling breasts. “And these. These are beautiful tits.”

She hated them sometimes. They were too big to fit into the pretty designer clothes women loved to wear, but when Ian looked at her and praised them, she couldn’t help but feel sexy. He’d given her a confidence she never wanted to lose. “They’re yours, Master. All yours. Would you like to fuck them?”

She knew exactly what dirty talk did to him.

“God, you’re going to kill me,” he whispered and then he was gone, rearing back to his knees. “Look up. Watch us in the mirror.”

She turned her head and sure enough, the south wall was mirrored from floor to ceiling. Ian’s big body loomed behind and over hers. He gripped her hips, pulling her closer to him so that her ass was right against his hips, and she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began.

“You watch and tell me that I don’t have the most beautiful, fuckable sub in this club.” He leaned back, taking his cock in hand and placing it at her entrance. The broad head started to breach her, and she gasped at the sensation. He was so fucking big and it had been so long. Pressure built as he pressed his way in.

She watched in the mirror as he started to work his dick inside her, thrusting carefully in small motions. She could see the toll it took on him. His face was in a tight line, his every movement a testament to discipline. Over and over he foraged in, gaining ground before retreating to start again.

Charlie relaxed, giving him everything. He was so careful with her, but she prayed that soon he would let go. She could handle it. She wanted his passion.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby.” His skin flushed with the effort of holding back.

“You feel so good, Master.” She wiggled her ass a little, letting him know she could handle more.

His hands gripped her hips. “You want it, don’t you? You don’t want me to play around. You don’t care how tight you are. You want some cock, don’t you, baby? You need a big stiff cock inside you.”

“Yes.” She was practicing his favorite word tonight.

He slapped at her ass. “Whose cock do you need?”

“Yours, Master. I only need yours.” She only wanted his. In her whole life, she’d only really wanted one man.

“Then I’ll give it to you. Don’t you dare keep your mouth shut now. You tell me if it hurts. You tell me if it feels good.” He surged in.

Pressure and tension flooded her system. She was so damn full. He was everywhere, pressing inside until she’d taken him to the root, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I’m fine, Ian.”

“That’s not what I want to hear.” One hand found its way around her hip, settling over her clit, his finger pressing down. He started making little circles. “I’m not moving again until you’re better than fine.”

He was pulsing inside her. She could feel how close to the edge he was, but he still held off because he wouldn’t hurt her. Not physically.

Rubbing her clit, his hips held against her ass, Charlie watched him in the mirror. His face was so serious, his mouth turned down as he settled in to his task. He was so beautiful in the amber light that she wanted nothing more than to turn around so she could see his face, but she only had the mirror to watch him in.

A little gasp tore from her throat as pleasure started to crowd out the tension.

“Ian, Master, please,” she begged. She needed him to move. She needed to feel him sliding deep inside her. The connection had been missing for so long. She couldn’t go another moment without it.

He pulled on her hips, forcing himself in and then moving back out, a slow drag over her flesh. “This is definitely going to please your Master.”

Charlie watched in the mirror as Ian’s head fell back and he plunged deep, fucking her like she wanted to be taken, hard and rough and so possessive she could barely stand it. When he fucked her, she was the only woman in the world. Ian’s hips rocked back and forth, his cock diving deep each time.

She moved in time with him, finding a perfect rhythm. Her breasts bounced, her hair going wild, but she was lost in the feeling. He thrust in and out, deep and hard, finding her sweet spot and dragging his cock over it again and again until the pleasure rocked through her system and she shouted out his name as she came.

“Ian!” Her hands curled into the bedspread because his thrusts were so powerful he could push her off the bed if she didn’t hold her own.

Hearing his name seemed to break something in him. He threw an arm around her waist and hoisted her up so her back covered his front, his face in her hair. “Say it again. Tell me who you belong to, sub.”

He forced her knees even wider and fucked her from behind, his cock never losing the beat.

“You. I belong to you. I belong to Ian.” It was nothing less than the truth. She wanted his cock, his collar, his ring, his future.

“Damn fucking straight.” He surged into her, one arm around her waist, the other cupping her breast as he shook against her. He held her tight, his cock pumping out his orgasm as he shuddered against her. His cheek moved against hers. She could feel the heat of his mouth on her face, sweet little kisses on her cheek. Just for the briefest of moments she thought he would fuse their mouths together. She turned her face up, wanting that connection again. Even as pleasure thrummed through her body, she needed more of him.

He let go and moved away from her.

Charlie dropped to her stomach, the soft bedding catching her fall as Ian hopped off the bed. He got up, stretching and shaking his head like he was clearing it from something.

She tried to catch her breath. “Ian, what’s wrong?”

She watched him in the mirror, her heart falling. All that passion he’d offered her moments before was gone.

His face was expressionless as he peeled the condom off, tying it neatly. “You need to get to the locker room, shower, and get dressed. We’re meeting Alex and Eve in forty-five minutes. Make sure your sister is ready, too.”

She turned, pushing herself up. “Ian?”

“You need to hurry. I don’t want it to get too late before we head back to my place. Apparently we have to drive by Alex’s new house because the contractors fucked something up. That’s what he gets for hiring the lowest bidder. I told him, but he never listens to me. So get moving.” He started toward what looked to be a small bathroom.

He was talking like it was perfectly normal to fuck a girl silly and then complain about his best friend’s hiring practices. He was behaving like absolutely nothing amazing had just happened. Now she was cold again.

She pulled at the robe she’d tossed aside. “Ian, what’s wrong? Shouldn’t we talk about it?”

She tried not to, but her eyes were filling with tears.

“Nothing’s wrong, Charlie, and there’s absolutely nothing to talk about. I’m just done with sex, and I have things I have to do tonight. Unfortunately you’re tied to me right now so you have things to do, too. Where I go, you go, so get a move on.” He walked into the bathroom.

“Why are you being so cold?” It didn’t compute. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. He’d been so hot just seconds before. She’d been right there with him. Their bodies had been pressed together, and she would have sworn he felt everything she did. He’d held her so tight, like she was the most precious thing in the world and he couldn’t let her go. It had been like those five years between them melted away and they were back together, back when they were just discovering each other.

He stepped back out, his hands on those sculpted hips. “I’m not being cold, Charlie. I’m done. This is how I am after I’m done with sex. I told you you wouldn’t like it. This is how it is now. You said you didn’t care so I took you at your word.”

“I don’t understand.” She pushed her hair back, looking up at him.

“You don’t understand what, baby? That a guy can say and do things he doesn’t really mean when he’s trying to get his dick in you? I kind of thought you were more worldly than that.”

She wasn’t stupid. She knew that. She just didn’t expect it from him. He’d always been her safe place. “So it was just sex.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I think I told you that. I also mentioned that it would be my way, all my way, or we wouldn’t be anything at all. So you can go to the locker room and follow my instructions or we can be done. I’ll shower here. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

She sat there, trying to process the words. She’d been so sure. She’d known that once they’d made love again, he would know. He would know that she was his wife and everything would be fine as long as they were together.

The world was a watery mess, and she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Her hair was messed up, her body so much bigger than what she saw in her head. It was one of those times when she knew she had to make a decision to be all right with herself, but she just couldn’t when he was staring at her like she was a piece of meat. He’d told her she was hot, fuckable, but she sure didn’t look that way now. Of course, he’d also admitted that he would lie to get between her legs. Just like other guys.

“I told you how it would be,” he said softly. But the cold look was still in his eyes.

She pulled the robe on, closing it tightly around herself. “Yes, you did.”

He’d been far more honest than she’d been when they first met. And if he was treating her like a piece of meat it was because she’d offered herself up like one. She’d been so desperate to get back to the one place she’d been happy.

What if that had been an illusion?

He stood staring at her as she started for the door. He didn’t move to open it for her. She was sure he wouldn’t stop it from hitting her on the ass as she left either.

Had he been an illusion, too? For years he’d been her ideal man. It wasn’t that she really thought he was perfect. It was just that she loved his imperfections, too. He’d been the first man to treat her with any kindness, the first to bring her pleasure of any kind. He’d told her she was pretty and smart and she’d taken that as love.