Authors: Jordi Puntí
The melodious voice of one of the hostesses welcomed them to Barcelona airport. Now that they were returning home, the image
of Bundó lying in his coffin came to him again. They'd closed his eyes and concealed his wounds with makeup. The German customs police had made Gabriel identify him and then sign the necessary papers. Nevertheless, over the last few days, from the moment of the accident and, in particular, in the hospital Gabriel had not really faced up to the reality of his friend's death. Now that they were coming back to the point of departure, the origin of it all, he noticed how this new absence weighed on him and how differently he felt. The plane came to a stop. An unbearable heaviness churned in his stomach, like a bag of cement in a mixer. The last move to Hamburg, their final leave-taking from Petroli, and even the peaceful image of Bundó sleeping in the cab were distant memories with all the incongruence of make-believe. The passengers around him prepared to disembark, but he was paralyzed. He'd never be able to get up from that seat. A hostess tapped him gently on the shoulder. He was the last to leave the plane. Outside, he could see two members of the Guardia Civil and a hearse waiting for him on the tarmac.
Repatriating a corpse means entering a bureaucratic nightmare. The two men of the Guardia Civil were accompanied by a notary sent by La Ibérica's insurance company and someone from the funeral home. On that dark, overcast, typical February morning, the four men stood motionless next to the black hearse, a sinister tableau that would bring anyone out in goose pimples. It was as if everything had been prepared for a duel in which Gabriel had been challenged to fight. The notary requested the copies of papers given to Gabriel by the German police and, after checking them and signing them, handed them to the Guardia Civil. He then informed Gabriel that Senyor Casellas had come to meet him. He was greatly distressed and waiting at the international arrivals door. Given the absence of any family members, if he had no objections, they'd decided that Bundó's funeral would be held the following afternoon in the El Vendrell parish church. Gabriel said yes to everything. After the service they'd go to the cemetery and lay him to rest next to his parents.
On the evening of that first day in the hospital in Kassel, Gabriel,
in a moment of lucidity, realized that he had to phone Carolina. It had to be him, had to be his voice that pronounced the dreadful words.
“Something terrible happened this morning, Carolina. We had an accident. I'm so sorry. Poor Bundó is dead.”
Carolina went mute. Gabriel clung to the receiver with a trembling hand and waited in silence. He could picture her. She'd been waiting all day, a nervous wreck in her room at the Papillon, fearing the worst. She'd been counting the hours, listening for the engine of the Pegaso rumbling into the parking lot, hoping Bundó would arrive before Saint Valentine's Day was over. After a minute, her desperate sobbing got louder. Then, much later, came the tearful question: Where was he? She needed to see him. She couldn't bear a single minute more without seeing him. Gabriel finally convinced her to go directly to Barcelona. On Wednesday morning they were going to take Bundó to Via Favència so they could keep the vigil in his home, as was right and proper.
Shit, Christophers. What a terrible thing. Sorry it's such a sad story, but it had to be told and now it's done.
Airport workers and the young man from the funeral home took the coffin off the plane and put it in the hearse. Then, prompted by the notary, Gabriel gave the driver the exact Via Favència address. Carolina would probably be in the apartment by now. When the notary and hearse had left, the two men of the Guardia Civil accompanied our father to the baggage collection area. In Frankfurt, they'd made him check in the black canvas bag containing Bundó's personal effects and other items rescued from the Pegaso. They went to pick it up from the carousel, but it wasn't there. All the passengers from his flight had gone. The red tape involved in getting the coffin out of the airport had taken up almost an hour, and the two policemen escorted him to the lost luggage office. The bag must have been taken there.
Gabriel followed them robotically. He was so bereft of willpower, so knocked out, that he would have followed them all the way to hell that morning. As usual, the two Guardia Civil flirted with the girl in the office, telling some crude joke or other. Then
they informed her that this gentleman had arrived on the flight from Frankfurt, after which, touching their three-cornered hats in a salute, they returned to their sentry box. Rita treated the passenger with professional formality but soon realized she wasn't getting through. The man was in a bad way, consumed by some unidentifiable problem. His movements were sluggish, suggesting that any moment now he might stop in his tracks and never move again. The cast on his arm only accentuated his fragile appearance. She asked him to describe the bag. Gabriel was correct in saying it was black, black cloth. She made a note of that on the form and then asked for some document. It could be his passport or identity card. Then, with some support from his immobilized arm, Gabriel opened the folder containing the documents, some of which spilled on to the table. Rita picked up the first passport she saw.
It was Bundó's.
She opened it at the page she needed and, as always, her eyes rushed to the date of birth: November 29, 1941. The world stood still and she almost screamed. She looked up, stared at the face of the vulnerable man, and read the date again: November. 29. 1941. She felt like somebody checking the numbers on a winning lottery ticket. Stifling her emotion, she flipped through the pages of the passport and saw all the customs stamps. To cap it all, he was a traveler. By the time she turned the last page she was all his. She'd do anything to get to know this stranger.
Gabriel was totally out of it. Rita gripped the passport hard, without even looking at the photoâwhy would she need to if he was standing right in front of her?âand wrote down the name of the man of her dreams: Serafà Bundó Ventosa. How delightful it sounded! Her writing was wobbly, which made her realize she wasn't paying enough attention to the man himself. She had to speak to him, hear his voice, learn more about him. Of course, the address! What if he wasn't from Barcelona? She asked for his address, and Gabriel hesitated. He was so far away from everything, it was hard for him to collect his thoughts to the extent of knowing where he lived. If, indeed, he was still alive. Finally, he gave her the boarding house address. Ronda de Sant Antoni, number
70. In Barcelona? Yes. As she jotted it down, Rita realized it was very close to home. They were neighbors. “Less than two hundred steps apart,” she thought. To hide her excitement, and also to hurry things along, she said, “Ah, we live in the same neighborhood . . . I could bring you the bag myself, tomorrow, when it turns up.” Distracted, Gabriel agreed although he'd imagined they'd give it to him right away. Rita respected his shyness. She was dying to ask him more but, what with the turmoil of her emotions, nothing came to her. For the first time ever, she was afraid of intimidating a passenger. Trying to play for time, she asked him to sign the form. Gabriel produced some unintelligible scrawl and, before her astonished gaze, reclaimed the passport, turned on his heel with a mumbled good-bye, and shambled off. Rita took a while to react, and, when she did, calling out his name, he didn't hear her. Instead of despairing, she took the form, reread the name and address, and let him go. It didn't matter. She had the token. It was written in the stars that the black canvas bag would bring them together when it turned up the next day.
Gabriel followed the arrows pointing to the exit. On the other side of the terminal, the farthest point from the Cage, he walked past the last carousel. A lonely bag was going around and around. He went over. Although it looked the same, it wasn't his bag but, at the time, his mind wasn't functioning properly. He recognized it only because there was no other bag. Not understanding anything, not wondering about anything, he picked it up and went outside to be met by Senyor Casellas. The two men of the Guardia Civil saluted him awkwardly from their sentry box.
V
ati.
Daddy.
Papa. Pare.
Is that what we called him? Did we ever get used to it? Did we stop thinking about him all those years ago? Our work's piling up. We have to trust our mothers' word. When we ask them about it, they say Gabriel liked us calling him that, was proud of it, asked for it, but admit that we almost always referred to him in the context of his distance or absence. Where's Daddy? Daddy's coming tomorrow. Come on, listen to the telephone. Daddy wants to say hello. No, Daddy's not here now. You want to know when Daddy's coming, little one? We could make a list of all the excuses and lies our mothers had to invent once he'd stopped visiting us, but those pages would be too sad.
Yes, our work's piling up. It could well be that our zeal for pinning down the past is an instinctive reaction to our loss, our protection against the uncertainties of the future. Now that we Christophers have got used to hanging around in February 1972â“mea culpa,” Cristòfol concedesâthe present is rebeling and wants a share of the limelight. We fixed the date for our next meeting in Barcelona. At two o'clock on Friday we met for lunch in Can Soteras, a restaurant on Avinguda Diagonal frequented by Senyor Casellas thirty years ago when he wanted to impress some client or other. After that, we walked down Passeig de Sant Joan to the Arc de Triomf and then to Carrer Nà pols. It was a long time since we'd been in the mezzanine apartment. The weekend plan was to follow the trail of Gabriel's movements around the neighborhood. While we were having lunch, Christof came up with some news that
impressed us all: He and Cristoffini had located a truck cemetery on the outskirts of Kassel. Thanks to the Spanish license plate, they'd then discovered the poor Pegaso's wreckage on the edge of the dump. After more than twenty-five years, the cab was more or less holding its own. It was full of rust holes, and the inside was a forest of moss and dead leaves. Its wheels, windshield, lights, and steering wheel were gone. Rain had rotted the seats. Naturally they took photos of it. They even climbed up inside it and, contorting themselves, squeezed into the driver's seat and touched what remained of the gear stick. They rummaged around and found almost nothing. The truck cemetery owner said that if they wanted what was left of the Pegaso he'd give it to them. Cristoffini was all for it, but Christof's good sense won the day and they left with the license plate, a miraculously intact 1972 Pirelli calendar, and a cracked hand mirror that had well and truly used up its requisite seven years of bad luck. How many times would it have reflected Bundó's face when he was sprucing up to visit the Papillon?
We were still amusing ourselves with our speculating when we got to the mezzanine floor. Cristòfol opened the door. We went in and spread out around the apartment as if it was ours. Christof went to the bathroom, Chris raised the blind of the dining-room window, Christophe went into the kitchen, and Cristòfol went into the study to get some papers. Perhaps not in that exact order, but it doesn't matter. The point is that the apartment suddenly went quiet. We regrouped in the dining room a moment later. We walked on tiptoe and we all looked as if we'd seen a ghost. We had no evidenceâno dirty plate in the kitchen sink, no ashtray with a couple of butts in it in the studyâbut we were all certain that somebody had been there. I don't know what it was but there was something, some detail we'd picked up at a glance, some strange noise . . . As if we needed confirmation, Christophe put a finger to his lips,
“Ssh,”
then pointed at the bedroom door. Closed. We always left an inside window half open to ventilate the rooms, but there couldn't have been any draughts. And doors don't close by themselves. We looked at each other and all thought the same thing: Had we finally found our father, now, and here? We were loath to admit it, but the idea
didn't appeal. We'd spent so many hours rewriting his biography that we imagined a rather more dramatic ending.
Chris, the most unflappable brother, carefully opened the door. The rest of us peeped in from behind him. The light filtering in through the curtains gradually revealed there was no one in the bedroom.
Our subsequent exploration of the apartment led us to the conclusion that the intruder had been Gabriel. Who else, otherwise? The front door was intact, nobody had forced it and, since he was such a solitary soul, we surmised that only he had the key. It looked as if he'd spent a night here, or at least a few hours, because the blanket was slightly rumpled although the bed was still made (he might have slept in his clothes). The wardrobe door was shut, and its bare interior revealed that he'd taken all his clothes, including the cardsharp's jacket and shirts. Now other questions were begging to be asked: Had he really decided to leave for good? And right now? Yet it was difficult to believe that he'd forsake his belongings. Those objects that our father kept as his treasure (or a life sentence) had always been with him and, paradoxically, had given him the only anchor he'd needed. Once again, we sifted through the boxes and folders he kept in the study to see if we could find some clue as to his fate. Everything was in order, in place, hadn't been touched, and the only items we found to be missing were his new packs of poker cards, still wrapped in cellophane. In our inventory that first day we'd counted twelve and now he'd taken the lot.
More clues. We Christophers had taken over an empty shelf in the junk room where we kept everything that our inquiries yielded. There was a notepad detailing the La Ibérica trips; papers and letters from Carolina; a tape recorder with the tapes we'd made with Petroli; the objects we'd so despicably lifted from Petroli's house . . . At first it looked as if Gabriel hadn't moved anything. Then it seemedâbut this was impossibleâthat the things were tidier, dusted, as if he'd seen to it himself.