Lost in Starlight (Starlight Saga) (28 page)

“What the hell is going on?” Hayden demands, radiating nuclear hostility at Devin.

My head hangs down and I hide in my long hair, too ashamed to even look him in the eye.

“Sloane, talk to me. Now,” Hayden says, his voice deadly quiet.

I lift my head a fraction and peek at Hayden. His face is a deep red, his hands tightly fisted. A dangerous ferocity overtakes his features.

“N-nothing.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks with shaking hands. “Devin took something that belonged to me and now he’s going to give it back.”

A strained silence fills the room. Hayden stares at Devin with barely-contained fury blazing in his eyes.

“This is none of your freaking business.” Devin stands with his feet apart and arms crossed. Definite squaring off stance. “Now get out.”

“Sloane?” Hayden looks at me. “What’s he talking about?”

My tongue is thick and tied up in knots. I burst into fresh tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Leave, Lancaster. We don’t want you here,” Devin says.

“Yeah? Well, I’m not going anywhere without Sloane,” Hayden snarls. “And
your
ugly ass can’t make me.”

“Oh, yeah? Watch me!”

Devin charges, throwing up his forearms like an offensive lineman blocking a defensive back. Hayden moves to the side and pushes Devin’s elbow down and away and rolls him onto the floor. He slides into a chair and grunts.

Devin stands and dusts himself off. He stupidly attacks again. Blocking the clumsy punch aimed at his head with his forearm, Hayden grunts at the force behind the blow. He swiftly kicks Devin hard in the kneecap and causes the other boy to fall to the floor, crying out in pain.

Hayden’s gaze churns with fury. “Have you had enough?”

Devin staggers to his feet and rushes Hayden, growling in rage. Devin tries to clutch Hayden around the waist like a wrestler, but Hayden, light on his feet, sidesteps the attack and Devin goes crashing into a desk.

“You heard me, asshat.” Hayden’s tone holds a dark edge, shaded with viciousness. His mouth sets in a grim line. “I’m a trained fighter, and you
don’t
want to mess with me.”

Standing, Devin wobbles forward. “I’m not scared of you—you freak of nature!”

Devin throws a quick punch at Hayden’s jaw and misses. Hayden swings around and roundhouse kicks Devin in the gut. He sputters out a curse and clutches his stomach in agony.

Hayden raises both fists. The first punch glazes Devin’s chin, but Hayden’s second blow to his left eye sends him stumbling backward.

It was a heck of a shot.

Devin whips around and tries to jab Hayden in the throat, but Super Boy easily dodges the attack. Hayden kicks out, hitting Devin in the face with a quick left-right-left combo, sending him flying backward. He crashes into three chairs and sends them tumbling.

Devin’s legs wobble as he slowly gets to his feet. His lip is cracked and his nose all bloody. His left eye is bruised and swelling rapidly. Hayden stalks toward him and the color drains from Devin’s face. Hayden grabs the front of his shirt, lifts him several inches off the floor, and shoves him hard against the wall. Devin’s arms hang limp and his eyes are wide and terrified.

“Listen to me carefully,” Hayden says in a dominant tone. “If you ever disrespect Sloane again or make her cry, I will hunt you down….” Hayden pauses to let his threat sink in. “And then it’s going to get ugly. Do we understand each other?”

Devin nods very slowly.

“Good.” Hayden lowers Devin to the floor. The other boy slumps against the wall. “Now tell me what the hell’s going on.”

“He
knows.
” Lifting my arm, I point a shaky finger at the desk with my notebook and the computer screen, displaying a website on the Zetas.

Hayden stalks over to the computer, sits down, and starts working his techie mojo by deleting all the files. When he finishes, he stands and looks Devin in the eye. “Breathe a word of this to anyone and I’ll kick your ass. And I really don’t want to hurt you.”

I snatch up my notebook and march over to Devin. “You’re a scumbag, and
I
have no problem inflicting a little pain.” Or a lot. I lift my leg and savagely knee him in the groin. Might be a cheap shot, but he had it coming.

Devin doubles over like he’s going to puke, clutching his junk.

What an epic mess. I feel like Helen of Troy who had bitter rivals fighting over her, or just a teenage girl stuck in a nasty battle between two testosterone-fueled boys. If Devin is bold enough to try to blackmail us, I wonder what else he’s capable of doing. I hope I never find out.

And although I might be safe from a course of electroshock, Devin sure isn’t.

“Nice moves, Peaches. Come on. We’re done here.” Hayden takes my hand and ushers me from the
Haven Gazette’s
workroom.

He leads me outside and I can breathe easier now. We walk along the border of the school property near the immense oak forest. The afternoon sunlight slanting through the giant trees casts dense shadows all around us. The warm breeze ruffles through the leaves, lifting my hair. Hayden stops walking and leans against a tree, his expression dark and foreboding.

“How did you know I was here?” I ask.

“I didn’t like leaving you alone with Devin, so as I was driving back to your house I spotted your Jetta in the lot. I parked and went looking for you.” He runs a hand through his hair, the long bangs falling right back into his eyes. “Do you want to tell me what was going on before I showed up?”

I gaze down at my flats, staring at the little green bow. I swallow several times before I can speak. “Devin took my notebook. It...it had stuff written in it. Stuff about you and your family.”

“It’s okay, Sloane.” His voice is resigned. “I’ll deal with Devin tomorrow. He won’t say anything.”

More likely, he
won’t
remember anything.

My fingers curl around the edges of the notebook. “You’re going to contact the Galactic Brotherhood and have his memories wiped, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t respond, instead he grabs my upper arms and yanks me closer to him. Hayden’s fingertips trail up and down my bare arms, sending delicious shivers throughout my body. He kisses me passionately as though this is the last time. His arms around me tighten, his chest to my chest, our knees bumping together. Hayden’s urgent kisses send me tumbling over the edge. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him even tighter against me. My breath fast and heavy. He kisses me and kisses me and kisses me, until everything gradually dissolves around us, until Devin’s threats seem like a fading nightmare.

He swallows hard, unraveling himself from my arms. “What else aren’t you telling me? What really happened with Devin?”

I lift my head and the barely restrained tears come faster now. “I’m so, so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t want you to find out. I just wanted to get the notebook back, but Devin refused to give it to me. And then he wanted me to...um, to
look
at me. But that’s all…”

“That sick bastard!” His eyes are bright with anger. He tucks his hands under his arms and takes a few steps back, keeping a good distance between us.

“I should go back in there and break his neck,” he says, his tone low and menacing.

“Hayden, calm down,” I say, blinking back tears. “He isn’t worth—”

“Calm down?” he says bitterly. “How am I supposed to calm down when my girlfriend doesn’t trust me enough to come to me first? Especially with a guy who hates my guts and lusts after my girl?”

“You’re right, I should have. I made a terrible mistake. Are you mad at me?”

“No, Sloane. I’m mad at myself.” He throws his hands wide. “For letting things get so out of control so quickly.”

I gaze at his gorgeous face. He’s giving nothing away, but keeps his burning stare glued to my face.

“What does that mean?” I ask, tucking the notebook safely into my back pocket.

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

He kicks at some rocks. “Perhaps this isn’t the best time.”

“If you have something to tell me—then just say it.”

Hayden doesn’t answer. He grinds his teeth and his expression becomes a guarded mask.

“You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t think our relationship is fair to you,” he says quietly. “I’ve been contemplating the future, and the more I do, the more I feel like us being together will never work.”

I stare at him stupidly, striving to understand what he means. My heart clenches like a fist squeezing it. “What are you saying?”

“You know how much I care about you, Sloane, and it kills me to do this…”

“Then don’t.” My voice shakes. “You think I haven’t thought about this? I realize everything happened really fast between us, but it feels so right whenever we’re together.”

He groans. “I know…but you’re going to be constantly facing danger or dealing with jerks like Devon with me in your life.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” The tears flow down my cheeks and drip from my chin. “I know what you’re going to say. But please, oh, please don’t.”

“This isn’t easy for me...” He blows out a breath. “And I’m sorry it has to be this way, Sloane. We rushed into a relationship and it was reckless and dangerous. I know that now.”

“After everything we’ve been through are you seriously breaking up with me?”

I stand there quivering while the magnitude of what he’s saying seeps into my brain. This isn’t happening. He isn’t actually breaking my heart after everything we’ve endured. Don’t I mean anything to him? Doesn’t he know how much I care? My teeth clench. This is all Devin’s fault.

I reach out for him, but he steps back and holds my wrists so I can’t put my arms around him. “Please don’t do this. We can still see each other. No one has to know.”

“By lying? And sneaking around?” He shakes his head. “No. You were almost killed. Devin tried to blackmail you. My family doesn’t approve. All because we’re together. I’m bad for you. Toxic. I’m responsible for
everything
that’s happened to you.”

I yank my wrists free of his hold and clutch my chest. “None of that matters. I made a choice and I chose
you
—”

“But
I
don’t choose you.”

His brutal words are like acid burning away pieces of my soul. Suddenly, the whole world is crumbling around me into a pile of ashes. He’s breaking up with me. The abrupt realization slaps my face and deadens my mind. My thoughts go hazy into a bizarre, limbo state.

“I wish things could be different,” he murmurs with unshed tears lining his eyes. “I’ve been selfish because I care so much about you. And I realize how much you care about me, especially if you were willing to give your life for mine back at the warehouse and humiliate yourself with Devin to protect my secrets. But I’m afraid you’ll just end up getting mind raped by the Galactic Brotherhood. I begged Arcane not to erase your memories, but there’s always the chance he’ll change his mind. Besides, my parents will
never
accept our relationship.”

“We can keep it from your family, and Arcane and Dixon seemed okay with it when we left—”

“They’re not. Dixon owed me a favor and I pleaded with him to let you go.” Hayden blows out a breath. “Don’t you get it? You’re a human and I’m an entirely different species. It’ll never work, so I think it’s best to end this now before we get in any deeper.” The words seem to be torn from his throat. His cold mask slips for an instant, and he appears broken, as if he’s in unbearable pain. “It’s over, Sloane.”

“No! I refuse to believe that.” I take a step forward, but he backs away. “Then everything you said to me was a lie! I was just a love-struck girl stupidly wearing her heart on her sleeve—and you took advantage of that!”

His face pales and he looks devastated. Rocked to the core. “I still feel like you’re mine, Sloane, but we just can’t be together now. Every decision I make is to keep you safe, because you’re the one person that will always make my heart beat faster. And you have to believe me—it’s killing me to do this to you—to
us
.”

“I know we can work this out,” I plead.

“Listen to me…I just finished reading
Romeo and Juliet
, and do you know what the first thing I thought was? It’s called a
tragedy
for a reason. They were this young couple, and they died because their families wouldn’t let them be together. There isn’t anything romantic about that. It’s just stupid and sad.” His tone is rough, emotional, raw. “What kind of life can we have together if we’re constantly looking over our shoulders all the time?”

“I know that, but—”

“And do you really think your human family will want you dating me once they find out what I am? We’re from two different worlds, Sloane. Don’t you get that? We’re going to graduate in two months and go our separate ways. You’ll forget about me…go on with your life.”

Each word he spews is like a hammer blow to my heart, shattering it into tiny fragments.

“No, I won’t! I have no life without you. I can’t even imagine a future if you’re not in it.
You
are my future.” My chin juts out in defiance. “I can tell you don’t want to do this…and don’t you dare make this about your lame code of ethics or whatever you’re supposed to follow.”

“It’s not about that,” he says. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Seriously?” I say on the verge of hysteria. “You’re breaking my heart and you want me to make it easier for
you
?”

“Sloane, I am so sorry.” Hayden’s voice cracks on the last word. “I feel horrible—”

“Did your parents put you up to this? Did Arcane?” I demand, crying harder.

“You just deserve more than I can offer you.” A nervous tic pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he struggles to control the volume of his voice. “I don’t want to be the guy that keeps you from living a normal life. You need someone who can make love to you and not worry about an unwanted pregnancy. Or live in fear that at any moment you’ll be taken away and given shock therapy.” He gazes at me, and his pokerface slips over his features again. “You need someone you can have a real relationship with instead of this, this nightmare.”

“I don’t care about any of that! I don’t need children—”

“But you will someday, and then you’ll hate me because of what I made you give up. I’m just trying to think with my head instead of my heart.” His voice is no more than a whisper as the terrible truth passes through his beautiful lips.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m tougher than I look, and I’m not afraid of your relatives or Sector Thirteen. Being with you is worth the risk.” Sobs are rebuilding in my throat. “So please don’t do this.
Please
.”

He doesn’t answer. Doesn’t move. The silence is absolute, like the stillness following the world’s demise. The tension builds until low whimpers break from my throat, and I blindly reach out, eager for the feel of his skin. I clutch at his waist, winding my arms around him and resting my cheek on his chest. He leans down and buries his face in my hair. I can’t stop shaking. Hayden folds me against his body and rubs my back, trying to ease me into stillness.

“No,” I beg. “Don’t leave me—”

“Quiet down. Just relax. It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s going to be all right.”

But nothing is all right.

“I don’t understand how you can break up with me after everything,” I say, my fingers clutching at his shirt.

“Sloane, look what just happened. Do you honestly think Devin would’ve stopped if I hadn’t come along?” He gently pulls back and rakes a hand through his hair. “The thought of him looking at you or touching you, all to protect me makes me sick. It’s wrong, and I can’t let you be hurt like that again.”

“I’m fine,” I say quickly. “I can handle Devin.”

“We both know it’s not just Devin that we have to worry about. The Brotherhood is still a threat. Just because Arcane and Dixon agreed not to hurt you, doesn’t mean others won’t…” He squints into the sunlight filtering through the oaks. “I’m only trying to do what’s right.”

My knees almost go out from under me. I cling to his shirt, twisting the fabric in my hands. All of my future daydreams flash before my eyes in a sickening Technicolor whirl. Hayden and me kissing on the beach, Hayden and me cuddling on my bed and watching movies, Hayden and me going to the spring formal. Now all those hopes are squashed into the ground like tiny crushed corpses.

He sighs. “Sloane...”

How is it that he’s able to saturate that single word with so much emotion? Guilt, misery, sorrow.

I yank hard on the front of his wrinkled T-shirt. “Just tell me who put you up to this!”

“No one.” He tenderly places his hands over mine and forces me to release his shirt.

“You’re a freaking coward!” I scream so furiously the insult explodes out of me—yet somehow it still sounds like I’m begging. I pound at his chest with my fists. He just stands there and lets me hit him. “You can’t stand up for what you want. You won’t even fight for me—for
us!
” My vision blurs with hot tears. “I’m scared too. Terrified. And perhaps I’m naïve, but don’t you want to try?”

Hayden grasps my arms and gently pushes me back. His stare darkens. “No. I can’t do this to you anymore,” he says, unemotionally.

With that honest omission, the warmth of the afternoon drains away in an instant. I shudder and refuse to look at him, studying instead the intricate web of tree roots in the ground. I try to get a hold of myself and stop blubbering.

“You don’t even care what happens to me?” I ask, my voice cracking. “What this will do to me?”

“Of course, I do. That’s why I’m ending it.”

“You’re a bastard,” I whisper. “I gave you my heart and now you’re trampling all over it. I hate you.”

It’s a lie, but my cruel words seem to work. He takes a quick, startled inhale. His hand touches my cheek, his fingertips wiping at the tears. I flinch back and my spine hits the rough bark of an oak. He takes a step forward, and I quickly hold up my hands.

“Please don’t touch me again,” I say brokenly. If he kisses me, I’ll become undone. “And I swear to god, if you say we can still be friends, I’m gonna punch you.”

“Sloane, be rational.”

“Why are you even still here? Just leave!” I yell.

“I need the notebook first.”

“Here.” I thrust it into his hands. “Take it and go.”

He closes his eyes in frustration and runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t want to leave you like this,” he says, his voice saturated with guilt, with regret, and with some other emotion that I can’t decipher.

“Just leave.” I swipe at my tears with the back of my hand. “Go!”

“Okay. I guess...I’ll see you around, Peaches.” He kisses my forehead and it takes every ounce of strength I have left not to cling to him. Beg. Plead. Ask him not to do this.

I am frozen, staring at his back as he walks away. For a moment, I kid myself into thinking it’s not really the end.