Lost Avalon: A Finding Nolan Novel (4 page)

             
“Might want to run that by your boy, Blaise. He’s the one with a knack for wandering off.” He lifted his head, “What time he make it in last night anyway? Saw him leave with that red head at the club. Not gonna lie, part of me was wondering if we’d ever see him again. Bitch was scary lookin’.”

             
I hadn’t seen her, but I’d certainly been introduced to her handy work on Blaise’s body. “And you let him leave anyway? Shit, Angel.”

             
He shrugged. “He’s a grown ass man, Ava. I’m not his fucking babysitter.”

             
“Yeah, neither am I!” I slammed the door shut behind me. As usual I had taken my anger out on the wrong person. I stomped in place like a two year old several times knowing no one was around to see me and then marched off, my fists still clenched. I had done my job. The rest was up to Gary.

             
Even after all this time, I still loved live shows. Most nights I was perched somewhere on the sidelines, watching, enjoying just as much as any other crazed fan girl. Because, I was. Had always been. Would always be, Finding Nolan’s biggest fan.

But tonight I was in no mood to see Blaise stand up there and sing those words. The ones that made every woman in the room, including me, believe that he was really that sensitive, lost and broken soul convinced that only one woman’s love could save him. And they all wanted their chance to prove that they could be ‘that’ woman. If they only knew the truth.

              Blaise was lost and broken alright, but he didn’t think for even a second a woman could save him. Not when it had been a woman who damaged him to begin with.

             
The bus was quiet when I stepped inside. It was nice for a change and I took full advantage of this brief window of alone time by sprawling out on the couch and watching the first chick flick I could find on TV. Pretty Woman.

             
By the time the film ended I was wishing for my own knight in shiny white limousine. Then my phone rang and I remembered I already had one. Sort of.

             
“Hey Lee.”

             
“What’s up, beautiful? Feel like I haven’t heard from you in ages.” I could hear quiet talking in the background.

             
“You guys on the road already?”

             
“Yeah, got rained out here in Oregon. Now we’re headed to Idaho. Hopefully we’ll have better luck there.” It was fair season, so all of the shows Lee was playing were outdoors. It made for an unpredictable tour and I felt bad for him thinking about it. Wasn’t like we hadn’t been there once upon a time. Except for us it had been dive bars and college campuses. Still, just as unreliable.

             
“That sucks. I’m sure next stop will be better. We’re getting ready to take off tonight as well. We’ve got one more stop and then we’re headed back to L.A. You guys going to be out west for a while? Maybe we can meet up.” I forced myself to part ways with the comforts of the couch and went to peek out of the window. I could hear the crowd roaring inside the stadium. Pretty clear indication the guys had just walked back on stage for the encore. Wouldn’t be much longer now and I’d have to go and chaperone the after party.

             
“We’re going straight across from here. Wyoming and Nebraska. Illinois after that, and I think Wisconsin. You’re welcome to come and join us though when you’re done following Blaise around.” There was a distinct bitterness in his voice. It was no secret Lee disapproved of my friendship with Blaise. In his mind I was disrespecting him by having a close relationship with another man. Even if that man had been my best friend since I was eight. But I didn’t expect him to understand that any more than he really expected me to end my friendship with Blaise.

             
“I’m not following anyone around, Lee. You know damn well this is my job.”

             
“It’s a joke, Ava. What do you really know about managing a band as big as Finding Nolan? No offense to you, but everyone knows they should have signed with Braxton Management last year when they pitched the boys after the Grammys.”

             
“What are you talking about? Mitch Braxton never pitched them.” It had to be a mistake. No way had Blaise or any of the guys ever entertained another offer. Not after everything I’d done for them.

             
“He sure as shit did. They had a sit down with him and everything. Word was they were about to sign and then backed out at the last minute. Nobody seems to know why, but don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. Everyone, including your precious Blaise, knows they could do better than some twenty-three year old who isn’t qualified to manage the band’s social calendar, much less their careers.”

             
I stumbled back until I found the couch with the back of my calves and fell down into it.

             
“You’re an ass, Lee,” I hissed through clenched jaws. “Enjoy your next fucking show at the county fair. Maybe if your manager was half as qualified as I am, you would have graduated from playing redneck barbecues by now. So you can just fuck off. We’re done.”

             
I hung up by throwing the phone across the bus. It hit the back wall with a loud smack and I was fairly confident that I had busted it.

             
Unable to shake the conversation, I pulled my knees up to my chin and laid on the small couch curled up in the fetal position. I was biting into my knee caps trying to keep from crying, but it was useless. The tears were already falling.

             
A knock on the door only added to my apparently ongoing humiliation. Thank God I had locked it. Still shaking, I got to my feet, wiped my eyes with the tips of my fingers to ensure minimal make up malfunctions, and then proceeded to open the door.

             
It was Darrel, our main security guy.

             
“Show just ended. Gary wants to know how long to hold the girls at bay before he lets them into the big room.”

             
Like I fucking gave a shit. “Is the room stocked and ready?”

             
He nodded.

             
“Then he doesn’t have to wait. Just take them back there now and they can get started without the boys. We need to hurry this along tonight anyway.”

             
“You got it, boss.”

             
I laughed dryly. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m the boss.” Maybe I didn’t want to be anymore.

***

             
“Hey Gary, where’s Ava?”

             
He shrugged. “Don’t know. Haven’t seen her since before the show. Just sent Darrel to go find her.”

             
“Thanks, man.” I gave him a quick pat on the back and hurried down the long corridor to my dressing room. She was probably sitting in there answering emails or some shit. That girl never stopped. Still, it was weird that she missed the show.

             
I swung the door open fully prepared to give her a hard time about it only to find the room completely empty. Not only wasn’t she in there, it also didn’t look like she had been there at any point since she’d dropped in to check on me.

             
“What the fuck?” I pulled out my phone and hit call. For some annoying reason she was always the first number on my call log. And it was always under outgoing. It spoke volumes for our relationship.

             
“You’ve reached the phone of Ava Jennison –“ I stared at my phone not fully comprehending what was happening. My calls never went to voicemail. Not at four o’clock in the morning, not during her doctor’s appointments, never. Something was wrong.  I was about to take off and go look for her myself, when the door came flying open and Ava came crashing in with it.

             
“Ava –“

             
The door slammed loudly behind her. She was fucking pissed about something. I hadn’t seen her look this crazy since I was thirteen and she’d told off the fucking neighbor for not minding her own goddamn business when she’d asked me fifty-thousand questions about my mother’s death two days after her funeral. Ava had always had my back, even then. So I kind of pitied the poor slob who was at the end of her wrath now.

             
“MITCH FUCKING BRAXTON, BLAISE?!” Shit. It was me.

She was coming at me with both hands, wailing down on my arms as I tried to block her. “MITCH FUCKING BRAXTON!”

              She got a clear shot and shoved me hard in the chest, throwing me back a few steps.

             
“Ava, calm the fuck down!”

             
“Fuck you! Don’t tell me what to do, you son of bitch! You backstabbing motherfucker! After everything I’ve done for you! Finding Nolan wouldn’t even exist if I hadn’t been there holding your hand every fucking step of the way.” She was coming at me a second time and I threw my hands up in surrender and willingly dropped down into the couch.

             
“I know, Ava! I know! I’m sorry. Just calm down for a second and I’ll explain –“

             
I was doing a shit job of trying to reign her back in. If anything I was just making things worse.

             
“Now you want to explain? Now? Why not last year? Huh? Why not tell me after you had your little meeting with Mitch and his minions? Oh, or better yet, maybe BEFORE? But no! You didn’t tell me shit. I had to find out from Lee! Do you have any idea how fucking humiliating that was?”

             
The second her fury faded I wished it would come back. Tenfold even, if it only meant I wouldn’t have to see the hurt in her eyes that was left behind.

             
“Ava, please –“

             
She shook her head, cutting me off again. “No. No more Blaise. No more excuses, no more apologies. I’m done. Some things you can’t fix with ‘I’m sorry’. Some things just stay broken.”

             
She turned to leave and I was too stunned to stop her.

             
“You boys need to find a new manager starting now. I quit.” And she was gone.

Chapter 4

             
I literally ran
back to the bus trying to outrun my feelings, at least long enough until I was alone and out of sight of prying eyes. If I had expected Blaise to come after me, I would have been sorely disappointed. He had made no efforts to stop me, he certainly wasn’t making a mad dash to try and reach me now.

             
I had known he wouldn’t. It wasn’t part of his protocol. That would have required taking some sort of responsibility for his actions, something he was incapable of doing. It was the only thing that tempted me to make my official resignation with each member of the band myself, since Blaise’s version of the story would likely paint a very different picture from what had actually transpired between us.

             
But I didn’t have the energy required to go through the whole thing three more times. Sure, Blaise had been the worst offender. He was supposed to be my best friend. I was supposed to be able to trust him. Apparently our relationship had grown far more one sided than I’d allowed myself to see.

             
Regardless, knowing that Royce, Derek and Angel had been willing to drop me just as easily, broke my heart. Worse, it made me feel like a complete jackass. Here I had stupidly thought we were a family of our own making. Thought we loved each other and respected each other as such. Stupidly assumed they would show me the same kind of loyalty I had always shown them. Clearly that had been too much to ask. Even Lee had been in on it.

             
Strangely, his part in the betrayal left me the least fazed. Nor did I seem to be particularly torn up over the demise of our relationship. Well, what had I expected when I was regularly spending the night in Blaise’s arms and generally jumping through hoops to meet his every need? Would I really still have done that if I had been truly invested in my relationship with Lee? Especially knowing how much it had bothered him? Not likely.

             
I tore through the bus like a mad woman on a mission, yanking my bag out from the cubby beneath my bed and throwing together my makeshift office area. I tossed everything into the teal messenger bag Blaise had given me for my last birthday.
Asshole
.

             
I dumped everything out again, threw the bag across the room and started over with an empty pillowcase.

             
Fifteen minutes later I was outside of the large arena catching a cab with the remaining concert goers still departing.

             
“Can you take me to the nearest airport please?”

             
The guy turned around, a slight state of confusion collecting on his face. “Do you know where you’re flying out of?”