Losing You (Stars On Fire Book 4) (38 page)

Ollie flipped on the television and started clicking through the stations, waiting for a consensus on what to watch. They ended on a movie station with a mindless comedy. Lizzie was happy that they laughed a lot because it helped ease the tension everyone had quietly endured throughout the day. When the doorbell rang, Lizzie rose to get it, followed by Marc. As she paid for the pizzas, Marc took them from the delivery boy. On her way back, Lizzie retrieved some plates and napkins from the kitchen. Marc plopped the pizza boxes on the coffee table and they dug into the pizza, eating absentmindedly.

When the movie finished, Lizzie excused herself so she could go to the bathroom then changed out of her grimy clothes, putting on one of her many maternity dresses. She hated wearing pants right now . . . more like hated the bending down to pull them up.

“Hey, Lizzie!” Gwen’s voice carried up to her bedroom. “Ollie and I are gonna head out.”

“Okay, give me a minute,” Lizzie called back and smoothed the fabric of her dress to make sure it covered all the good stuff then headed down.

The pair stood in the foyer and Lizzie said goodbye, hugging each of them.

Returning to the living room, she noticed that Marc was absent and called out his name, hoping he hadn’t left without saying goodbye.

“Bathroom,” came his reply. “Be right out.”

Lizzie collapsed on the sofa, putting her legs out along the length of the sofa. A part of her was glad they were gone. She didn’t want to entertain anymore. She just wanted to zone out and chill.

When Marc came back, his hair was slicked back, his face freshly scrubbed.

“I can . . .” he started and she knew he was going to say he could leave.

“Sit,” she ordered, motioning to the sofa.

Lizzie made to move, but he shook his head. He lifted her feet, sat down, then put them on his lap, one hand on her naked calf while the other changed the station to the news. They vegged out as the newscasters reported story after story. They didn’t speak. Marc just held her feet, lightly caressing them, the foot rub feeling glorious on her swollen skin. She felt the most at ease she had been in a long time.

This moment reminded Lizzie of all the times when they were a couple doing just this. It had always been so easy to relax with Marc, be herself . . . from the very beginning.

And to be honest, she’d missed this easiness between them. “Marc?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he answered, turning his light blue eyes on her.

Time to build bridges
, she thought.

“Uh . . . I never thanked you for being there at Tom’s memorial . . . you know . . . when I sort of broke down . . .”

“You know you don’t have to thank me. Okay?”

“Well . . . I just want you to know that I appreciate it. That’s all.”

“Thanks,” he said, gifting her with that mischievous grin of his. “I do like having that knowledge.”

Lizzie liked giving it to him, liked just being with him, and decided to put herself out there.

Removing her legs from his lap, she sat up a little clumsily due to her enlarged belly and scooted closer to him. “I’m going to ask this again . . . do you think we can be friends, Marc?”

He looked down at her next to him and smiled. “The best.”

She smiled when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her closer. “Good,” she answered, liking this connection, that little by little he was making her feel safe again.

Lizzie

June 18, 2010

Lizzie sat on her balcony, feeling restless. She’d left work early for her thirty-two week checkup. All was good. But now she sat here . . . alone. She didn’t want that and decided to make a call to change it. A call that she’d been afraid to make.

“This is Marc,” came the voice over the line.

“Hi,” she said nervously. Though they talked regularly, they hadn’t really hung out together—alone. With Ollie and Gwen hanging with them, sure. At least every other week. But Marc and Lizzie by themselves . . . another step.

“Elizabeth,” he said, his tone different from when he first picked up. Warmer.

“Hi,” she repeated, chewing on her thumb. Just because she knew it was a step she wanted—needed—to take didn’t mean that it made her any less nervous.

“What’s going on?” he prompted.

“Well . . . so . . . I was wondering if you’d like to do something tonight.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know . . . we could go for a walk with Foxy and maybe pick up some dinner on the way back?”

“You know, that sounds exactly like something I need after my day. When do you want me over?”

“Whenever you can come. I’m home right now with nothing else to do.”

“Nothing?”

“Except relaxing like my doctor told me to.”

“Oh yeah, you had your appointment today,” he said and she was surprised he’d remembered anything about it. “So how’s the momma-to-be?”

The blare of the horn in the background pushed up the hairs on the back of her neck. “Marc? Are you driving?”

“Shit . . . sorry. You can answer my question when I see you. Okay?”

“Okay . . . bye for now.”

Lizzie placed her phone on the arm of the chair and leaned back, resting her head. As she drew nearer to her due date, her anxiety increased. So many unknowns. And talking to herself about it wasn’t giving her any differing opinions. She wanted to talk about her concerns with someone she trusted. Did she trust Marc? She was beginning to again. She was pretty much over him leaving her, though still curious as to why. But she would never regret him leaving her—it brought Tom into her heart and the baby inside her. No, she’d never regret that turn of events. The only thing she hated about all of it was that Tom was no longer in her life or a part of their child’s future. And that wasn’t Marc’s fault at all. It had been an accident. And how she chose to deal with this would affect her son for the rest of his life.

Foxy startled her with her excited barking. Lizzie pushed herself from her chair and looked over the railing watching Foxy do circles around Marc as he entered the backyard.

“Lizzie?” Marc called out, petting the dog.

“Up here,” she said, waving her hand. He looked up and smiled brightly.

“You got here fast,” she commented, the smile she gave him in return coming easily to her.

“Yeah, I was at the mall. Coming up,” he said and then he disappeared. She didn’t have to tell him where she was. He knew how to get to her bedroom balcony. When he made it up, she turned around.

“What were you doing at the mall?” she asked because Marc didn’t go to the mall. He hated to shop.

“Errands.”

“At the mall?”

“Yeah, for the most part,” he laughed before giving her a hug. It surprised her how good it felt to be hugged, and she lingered in his arms longer than necessary, but didn’t care and hoped he didn’t either.

He didn’t.

They stayed that way until her stomach decided to announce it was hungry, which brought a chuckle out of Marc.

“How about a change of plans? Let me take you out to dinner and then after we can take a walk over to Dairy Queen for some ice cream?”

“Oooh,” she said, liking this change of plans.

He gave her one more squeeze before backing away.

Marc took her to a nice dinner where she thoroughly stuffed herself. He teased her about her appetite and wondered if there’d be any way she’d have room for ice cream.

“One always has room for ice cream. Don’t try to get out of it.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” he said.

And he didn’t. They went back to her place, hooked Foxy’s leash on and made the short walk to Dairy Queen. They got their ice cream and continued walking down the road to the park. Marc kept the pace slow. They kept silent, enjoying the icy treat, until they reached the park. They found a bench and sat down and watched the kids play in the fading light.

“So . . . tell me about your doctor’s appointment.”

“It went really well. The baby’s heart rate is strong and he’s big as evidenced by my huge stomach,” she said, placing her hand on her belly, and tried to push aside what had been nagging her the past week or so.

“Elizabeth?”

“Hmm?”

“Talk to me.” Uncanny how well he could still read her.

“Marc, I’m real scared,” she blurted out, not able to keep it inside her anymore.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his face a picture of concern.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this. How am I going to raise this baby by myself?”

“You think that’s how it’s going to be? That you’ll have no help?” he asked and didn’t wait for her answer before continuing. “You have his grandmother, who will do absolutely anything for you and him. Then you have Ollie and Gwen. Gwen will be an awesome aunt and I’m sure you can train Ollie to change a diaper,” he said, and she laughed at that picture, thinking about what a hilarious mess that could be. “Then you have me. I, too, will do anything for you two. Anything you can think of. You need something assembled? I’m your guy. Need someone to run to the store for diapers at three in the morning? I’m on it. You need me to babysit while you have girls’ night or you go out on a date? I’m just a call away. I’m not going anywhere, Elizabeth . . . not this time. You can count on me.”

Her emotions warred within her—the need to believe his words and the hope they gave her both battled with the simple fact that people leave without warning. They die and leave you alone. That scared her.

“I’m still afraid.”

“I can see that. You’re going to have to trust us,” he said, walking the short distance to the trash can to throw out their garbage.

“Trust you say?”

“Yeah . . . trust.”

When she thought about trust and Mrs. Myers, Ollie, and Gwen, it fit. When she thought about it with Marc, things were murky. She knew why too. She was still seeing him from the other side of old lenses. She could kind of make it out, but it wasn’t clear.

What she needed were some new lenses.

Talk about a big step.

Lizzie

The one thing about her old job that sometimes carried over into her new position was the long hours. And when a client needed something, you jumped through hoops for him.
And
when her account executives needed her help to make things happen, she pulled her ass out of bed and headed into the office on a Saturday morning.

At least, I didn’t have to spend the whole day there
, she thought as she pulled into her driveway. She did a double take as she stopped the car, thinking she saw Marc, Ollie, and Gwen on her porch.

She scrambled out of her Jeep as fast as she could, which actually meant she got out of her vehicle a little over sloth speed. Eyeing her friends, she walked up the stairs and leaned against the post. “What are you guys doing here?”

Marc gestured towards their feet and said, “Errands.”

Her eyes misted up when she noticed the paint cans and all the bedding and decorations for her baby’s room. “Guys . . .” she began, her voice full of emotion. “I don’t know what to say. You’re all so wonderful.”

Ollie nudged Gwen. “See, she thinks I’m wonderful.”

“Oh, jeez, Oliver,” Gwen said before turning to Lizzie. “We hope this is okay. We took it upon ourselves to pick out the colors and fabrics . . . pretty hard with two guys with you. Blame them if you don’t like it.”