“Is something bothering you today?”
“Bothering me?” She glanced at him. He was studying the ground behind a row of rocks.
“Yeah, you think I haven't noticed?”
“Well, um⦔
“You shouldn't, you know. Feel bad, that is.”
“I don't know what we're doing here. We should just rent a metal detector and be done with this.” She hated the way his words made her feel.
“You feel guilty because you're who you are. Your brother may be sick like you think, but he also doesn't have to try and help himself because you give him a crutch.”
“If we leave now, we can call and find a metal detector this afternoon and be back out here tomorrow to wrap up this mystery once and for all.”
Melody headed for the exit, ready to get away from Seth and the conversation he insisted they have. She didn't want to have it. She didn't want to talk about this. Or think about it. What she'd wanted was to hunt for treasure. To lose herself in the hunt and pretendâshe stopped walking and hung her head as she studied her dusty boots. Her blood pounded like freighters out of control, making her dizzy with the strain. She lifted her palms to heated cheeks and tried to will herself to calm down before she either fainted or turned around and said something she really didn't want to say. Seth had no right to push like this.
“You have no right,” she said, her voice so low she almost didn't hear it over the turmoil in her head.
“I can't not think about this. Did you think I couldn't tell that you were upset this morning? Look at you. You're pale, you have circles under your eyes like you didn't sleep. And I'm betting the lack of sleep isn't something new. The thing is, I get where you're coming from. You're a wonderful, sweet and giving woman. Of course you want to give everything you have for your brother. The crazy jerk doesn't know what he's throwing away. He's so selfish, and at this point, I'm sure it's the drugs doing his thinking for him. But you're letting him continue, and you have to stop. And I can't help trying to make you see that.”
“Why is that? Why does this matter so much to you, Seth? I don't get this. You barely know me. You have no one close to you with this problem and yet you think you have all the answers. Well, you don't. It just isn't as easy as you think.”
“Why not? Maybe it's not as hard as you think.”
“You aren't emotionally involved. That's why. You don't know what it's like to see your older brother go from being the person you idolize into being somebody you don't recognize anymore. I mean, yes, he's horrible now, a total jerk and yes, he uses me. And sometimes Iâ” She could hardly breathe as anger violently swept through her in a hot rush. Her chest heaved, her hands shook and her mouth was dry with the need to vomit. And tearsâshe had to grit the tears back for fear once they started she would shatter with the force of them. Oh, she hated this!
She raised her hand to her face then dropped it to her side before lifting a finger to silence the words she could see forming behind his somewhat shocked expression. “Youâ” her lips trembled, as did her voice “âyou. Have. No idea.
No
idea how I feel. The truth. I want to know what my parents did to deserve a life of constant stress and strain watching their child struggle with something they couldn't fix. Something they tried so hard to fix, spending everything they had and more on the quest. And always. Always trusting that God was going to fix him. And for what? For God to totally ignore their faithful prayers?”
“Melodyâ”
“No.” She held her hand up to silence him. “No. You wanted to know so badâwell, here it is. I've done everything like my parents. I've prayed the prayers until
I don't believe them anymore. I pay his way.
I'm
the good daughter by doing what my mom asked of me. But I resent it and I feel guilty, yes. I feel guilty for everything. I can't win. I feel guilty that it's not me who has the problem. I mean, really, why Ty? Why not me? And believe me, he's thought the very same thing. I feel guilty that I hate what he's done to my life. I feel guilty about all of it. It's a no-win situation for me, and I hate it. But here's the kicker of all kickers. I'm so angry at God I can hardly think straight sometimes. I mean⦔ she gasped for breath and placed a hand on her stomach as she felt ill. It had become unbearably hot, and she knew it was from the emotions raging inside of her. “I mean my parents believed and prayed that God would heal Ty. They did everything they could for him. And God let them down. Until this moment I don't think I realized just how angry I am at God. I feel like He's lied to me. To my parents. We've done everything we could. We've trusted Him and for what?” She had to get out of the cave. This was no longer fun. She was suffocating. She stumbled through into the outer cave and practically ran out into the open air. She stumbled and fell to her knees on the hard earth, and the tears that she'd fought off came out in a rush.
She didn't know Seth was beside her until he pulled her into his arms. She hit his chest with her fist and cried fierce sobs. He let her pound his chest and then he gently cupped her head to his shoulder as she wept.
“Let it all out,” he whispered against her hair. Slowly the world stopped spinning and her sobs subsided to sniffles. His shirt was soaked against her cheek. She was drained, and her head felt like it had sledgehammers pounding away inside of it.
She knew she should apologize for her outburst but she didn't have it in her to do so. “I need to get home,” was all she said as she pushed out of Seth's arms.
“I'll get the stuff,” he said, but she wasn't listening.
S
eth never felt so terrible in all of his life. He'd pushed Melody until she'd broken. As they rode in silence back to the stagecoach house, he was at a loss as to how to comfort her.
She'd been honest, and she'd been right. He'd never walked in her shoes before, so who was he to tell her how to run her life?
You're the man who loves her
. It was true. As he held her while she cried, he'd known there was no turning back for him. He loved Melody with a love every bit as fierce as the emotions that were streaming out of her. While her heart was pouring out in anguish, all he'd wanted to do was fill her heart back up with enough love to wipe away all the sadness and the pain. She'd had all that anger bottled up for years and she'd been alone. He was no expert; he didn't know what advice a medical professional would give her, but he knew one thingâ¦and he wondered if she'd ever considered it. The words weighing heavy on his heart were words that could very well ruin any chance he might have to ever have a life with Melody.
In the distance he saw the stagecoach house. Sturdy, built to last the test of time.
Dear Lord, give me something,
he prayed, feeling the weight of Melody's grief on his shoulders. He loved her. But could he help her?
Yes.
He didn't want to tell her but he knew he was supposed toâ¦the crazy pieces of this puzzle they were living hadn't just fallen into place accidentally. Her being here on his property where he could overhear her conversation with Ty and see the pain it was causing her was for a reason. She was too close to her brother to see reason. She was right that he'd never walked in her shoes, but he could clearly see that the path she was treading was not good for her. He had to speak up and help her move forward.
He could lose her forever.
Trust me
.
He pulled to a halt. “Are you going to be okay?”
Her breath rattled as she inhaled. She didn't look at him but nodded.
Her skin was pale and her eyes were dull. She didn't look okay. “Melody,” he said clearing his throat, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles whitened.
He would lose her.
“Let me drive you to the festival in the morning. I have to work it, too. No sense us bothâ”
“No, thank you. I want to drive myself,” she said, and then she got out of the truck and walked away.
Coward. He'd felt God urging him to trust Him. To speak what was in his heart. But he hadn't done it. Seth snatched his hat off his head and threw it across the cab, watching it slam into the dash and fall to the floor-
board. “How am I supposed to tell her she needs to trust You when I can't do it myself?”
Not with Melody. Not with someone he loved so much.
Â
Mule Hollow knew how to put on a festival. Melody had driven up and parked at the far end of town because even at nine, with the festival scheduled to start at ten, there were cars everywhere. She hadn't come to town the day before but knew that it had been alive with vendors getting ready for the morning. Many of the vendors had included Mule Hollow on their schedule and were “repeat offenders” as Sheriff Brady liked to call them. This year was the first time in a long time that Mule Hollow actually had not only Sheriff Brady on hand but a deputy to help him, ex-Texas Ranger Zane Cantrell. It was a real sign that the town was growing when it could begin to expand its law enforcement. Not that there was a high crime rate or anything like that. It was just nice that Sheriff Brady could have a little time off now that he and his wife, Dottie, had their first baby.
Babies were the agenda these daysâalmost more than matchmaking. Melody had a feeling that soon Lacy would be announcing that she and Clint were expecting their first child. And she thought that would be just wonderful.
Positive things.
She'd been trying to think about positive things ever since her emotional breakdown the day before. She'd walked inside after leaving Seth and gone straight to her room and crawled into bed. She'd fallen asleep at some point and been thankful for the peace she found there. She'd begun to wonder if she would ever truly know peace.
She knew the peace of understanding that because of her decision to trust the Lord as her savior that she had the peace of everlasting lifeâ¦but that didn't mean she never had questions or doubts. Or that she never got angry at God. She was dealing right now in the best way that she knew how.
And in dealing she hoped she didn't see much of Seth today.
The man had pushed her to her limit and then he'd held her like she meant something to him. The emotions she felt for him on top of everything else in her life were just too much to deal with.
Taking a deep breath, she got out of her car and walked toward the vacant field on the far side of Sam's Diner. She walked past Adela's family home. It was a huge Victorian house with green turrets. This was home to Melody. She felt comfortable here in this beautiful little town. She felt more peace here than she'd ever feltâ¦but she was living a lie. Here she'd tried to ignore who she really was.
She walked down the street past Adela's then on down past Heavenly Inspirations Hair Salon, past Ashby's Treasures, Dottie's Candies. Farther down the street sat Prudy's Garage, and it still boasted the red flying horse from an era when stations were full service. Life here in this town just seemed to have a quality of timelessness. But Melody felt like her time was running out. She had to figure out what she was going to do about her life.
Hiding out, pretending that she didn't have a brother with problems hadn't worked. Burying herself in research and even a treasure hunt hadn't gotten her any further along.
She felt like a hamster running and running and running and going nowhere. All this time, all these years, and she was moving as fast as she could, but she hadn't moved an inch.
She was in crisis. Were Christians supposed to have crises? Of faith, of joy?
“Melody, yoo-hoo, Melody,” Esther Mae called from her car. “Can you help me?”
Glad to have something else to focus on, Melody jogged across the street and grabbed the crate of cookies the beaming redhead was just about to drop because she was trying to carry too much. Melody knew the feeling.
“Goodness, God's timing was perfect for sending you to help me!” Esther Mae exclaimed.
Melody fumbled to get a better grip on the crate. “Wow,” she said, looking down at the gold mine of cookies. “Did you make all of these yourself?”
“I did, and thanks to you they're not going to be a jumble in the middle of Main Street. I've been baking for three days.”
Melody took a deep breath of chocolate chips. “I bet your house smells delicious.”
“Hank thinks so. I had to finally swat his hand so he wouldn't eat himself into an early grave. You know his little belly's already about to pop.” She chuckled and started walking toward the festivities.
Melody could see the dunking booth midway down the field, and Applegate was pushing the red-dot trigger and watching the seat give way. It looked like he had everything under control. After all, how much preparation did it take to drop someone into a tank of water?
“You look pale. Are you feeling all right?”
“I'm fine, just rushing to get here is all.”
They'd reached Esther Mae's booth. She set her crate down and plopped her fist on her purple pedal pushers. “I don't believe it for a minute. You are staying holed up out there at that old house way too much. I told Norma Sue and Adela just yesterday that I didn't like it one bit. A girl like you needs to be out playing someâmixing it up with a cute cowboy. You need dinner and a movie, slow walks by the creek. Hand-holding.” She arched a brow. “That's how you find a man. Not hiding out in a house all by yourself, lost off in time, like you're doing. The future doesn't happen when you're living in the past.”
Melody thumbed the plastic bag of cookies. “I'm fine, Esther Mae.”
The redhead harrumphed. “Research is all well and good, but the past is the past. You're a young woman, and you need to be living life now. When's the last time you went out?”
“I've been out,” she confessed, then realized she couldn't say anything.
“Not out as in a date.”
It wasn't a question but a statement. Melody gave a small smile. She knew if she'd been out on a date the matchmakers would know it. “No. But, I've been having a good time.” At least she'd tried to have a good time. “I'd better go help Applegate.”
“Don't you let him put you up on that seat,” she warned.
“You know what, Esther Mae, I might want to get on that seat.”
“Oh,
really?
”
Melody glanced down the way. “Maybe.”
Esther Mae laid a hand on her arm. “You know, Melody, we're family here in Mule Hollow. You bein'
a quiet one like you are, well, me and the girls, we worry that you have things on your shoulders that weigh you down. You know you can talk to us. We're not just here to have a good time.” She waved a hand when someone shouted out her name. “I mean, we're a little one-track when it comes to marrying off all our cowboys. But there is more to us than that.”
Melody really didn't know what to say. This wasn't like Esther Mae. If anyone was going to offer a heartfelt back pat of encouragement it was Adela.
Esther Mae blushed. “I know what you're thinking. But, hon, there's always more to all of us than meets the eye. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone and trust folks with your heart.”
Melody felt dazed. “Thank you. I do have things on my mind. Butâ” She really wanted to open up, but she pulled back. This wasn't the place to spill her guts about issues so close to her heart. Especially since she'd already learned that sometimes doing that brought on more headaches than relief. Her thoughts filled with Seth. “I better go help App before he gets Stanley in that booth.”
Esther Mae chuckled. “Now that, I'd pay to see.”
Melody felt better as she strode through the crowd. The smells that only happen with a festival assaulted her senses and her stomach growled with the mixture of roasting peanuts, warming cotton candy sugar, grilling hot dogs. As she walked, more scents wafted her way and people called her name. She waved shyly, and her heart warmed despite all the turmoil that still waited to ambush her. Just being here among friends helped ease her emotionsâmaybe not for the long haul but there was comfort here. This was her town. And the people were good. She was glad she'd come.