Suddenly, the lights in the house of the theatre dimmed and a
hush fell over the audience. Melody’s stomach dipped and plummeted. There were
so many things swirling around in her mind at once.
She didn’t want to mess up. That was a big one. Typical
holy-cow-I’m-in-the-spotlight jitters. And she was afraid no one was going to
like her music. While she knew not everyone had the same taste, she hoped the
audience at least appreciated what it was and didn’t think it sounded like a
sixth grader had been let loose in a music room and had decided to mesh all the
instruments together in a terrible, jumbled mess.
All of the orchestra members assured her it didn’t sound like
that, even the ones who had joined after the accident, hadn’t known her
parents, and therefore, didn’t have to feel guilty if they told her how much it
sucked. She supposed that should count for something, but she still felt
apprehensive about unveiling her music to a theatre full of people. It was her
life put to notes. It was personal. But, then again, she imagined all art was.
She wondered what her parents would think if they were alive.
What would they think of her concerto? Of Liron? She smiled to herself. What
was she thinking? They would have adored Liron, would probably have ended up
going to live in his world also.
She could just imagine her happy-go-lucky father and her
beautiful, eccentric mother in the marketplace letting loose with the other
muses. Her mother would probably want one of the rebel muses to teach her how
to fire dance.
She could see it all so clearly in her mind, and she wished
with all her heart that they could be there to experience the magnificent world
she had stumbled upon. Where creativity was embraced and cherished, where
emotions weren’t taboo, and where gorgeous men produced sinfully erotic music
when they touched you.
Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Liron. This was
her one chance—her only chance. If she messed this up, if she wasn’t good
enough, she would never see him again, never touch him again. He would only
exist in her dreams like some kind of insane person’s fantasy. So much was
riding on this one moment….
She shook her head. She couldn’t think like that. She had to
believe this would work, that all of this hadn’t been for nothing. She had to
believe that when her twenty minutes of fame were over, Liron would be with her
again, and they could begin their life together amidst art and music and
splendor.
“Melody?”
She tore herself out of her thoughts and glanced up at the
stage manager in front of her.
“You’re on after this announcement.”
It was only then that Melody heard the thunderous applause
signaling the end of the first piece. Her heart kicked into double-time when
she heard the music director’s voice echoing through the theatre.
“A year ago, this orchestra lost three members who were very
dear to all of us. Eric and Anna Hoffman, our lead cellist and violinist, were
killed in a tragic car accident, and their daughter, Melody Hoffman, our
pianist, resigned her position with the Philharmonic shortly after.
“It is with great pleasure tonight that we welcome back Ms.
Hoffman, but no longer as our pianist. Tonight, she takes the stage as our
guest conductor to lead us in her own composition, a concerto entitled,
Liron’s
Melody.
“So, without further ado, please welcome Ms. Melody Hoffman.”
The applause spurred her into action, and Melody sucked in a
deep breath before striding out onto the stage. She shook the music director’s
hand with a smile, then took the baton he offered and went to her place up in
front of the orchestra.
She swallowed hard, closed her eyes, and took a deep, calming
breath.
This is just like rehearsal
, she told herself as she raised her
hands to the ready position. She told herself not to pay attention to all the
eyes staring at her, both in front and behind.
This is it. Your one shot.
You can do this, Mel. For Liron. For your parents. For yourself. It’s now or
never.
She sucked in her breath and counted a four-count before the
orchestra launched into the first movement of her piece.
There were three movements that made up Melody’s composition,
depicting three distinct stages of her life. The first movement was entitled,
“Tragedy,” for obvious reasons. It was mournful and haunting, dreary in its
musical rendition of the year Melody had spent aching for a life she would
never again know.
The second movement was entitled, “Awakening,” again, for
obvious reasons. This one also began with a Gothic flair, but gradually grew
into a melodious dedication to Liron and the beauty he had brought back to her
life. It included lively Celtic elements, an ode to the wonderful night they’d
spent in the marketplace, and the end left the audience with a feeling of hope
and joy.
The third movement was entitled, “Future,” and was the most
complex of the three. It featured every section of the orchestra at some point
and combined them all into a sweeping, atmospheric finale that represented the
future Melody wanted to have with Liron. She had tried her best to incorporate
instruments that would reflect the sounds of nature—thunder, the ocean, wind in
the trees, as well as all the classical complexities of man-made instruments.
It sounded like an epic love song, which she imagined it was, and it ended with
passion and conviction.
She lost herself in the music, reliving every part of her
life that had inspired it. It was different playing it for an audience than it
was in rehearsal. Everything felt rawer, truer somehow.
She felt Liron within the notes, just as she had felt her
parents, and just as she felt herself. He was with her. She knew this. He was
with her because he had become a part of her. He had given her back her love of
music. He had brought her back to life. His flame would burn within her for all
time.
When the music came to an end, Melody’s heart pounded both
from exertion and emotion. The tremendous applause from the audience let her
know that at least they hadn’t hated it, and a lump of overwhelming emotion
clogged her throat when each member of the orchestra started to stand, one by
one, and applaud as well.
Tears burned behind her eyes and she gave the musicians a
smile and a nod of appreciation and thanks. Slowly, she turned around to face
the audience, expecting a miracle.
But all she saw was a sea of strangers. No familiar face
stood out among them. She glanced up to the balcony, but it was impossible to
see anything up there but shadow. Her heart dropped so low she didn’t know if
it was still in her body. An aching, gaping hole opened up where her heart had
once been and the emotional tears she had been fighting a moment ago turned to
tears of profound despair.
If the music had worked, if the portal had been opened, Liron
would be somewhere in her line of sight. It had opened for her right in his
living room. But he was nowhere. He was gone.
She had failed.
Melody went through the motions of bowing to the audience and
going through the required polite formalities, but once she stepped off the stage
and the lights in the house went up for intermission, something worse than the
wave of heartbreak she had felt swarmed her. Emptiness. Numbness. Her tears
evaporated and she suddenly felt nothing but dismal cold.
She walked back to the dressing room she had been given and
closed the door behind her, requiring privacy. She sat down in front of the
mirror and stared at her reflection. She’d opted to wear the traditional black
of a classical concert and was in a long, elegant dress that hugged her body in
all the right places. It had a low back and a deep sweetheart neckline. It was
sexy enough to turn some heads, but classy enough for the event. At her neck, she’d
decided to wear a garnet necklace since she’d left the one her mother had given
her back in Liron’s home. She’d left her blonde hair down in gentle waves.
She’d done smoky eye makeup with a soft blush, and had felt beautiful upon
leaving the house.
But it had all been for nothing. Her music had not brought
Liron to her, and her heart would never beat normally again. It would never
hear his rapturous song, and she would never feel his music surging through her
veins.
Heaviness unlike anything she had ever felt pressed on her
chest and her shoulders sagged in defeat. She suddenly felt so very tired.
A knock on the door made her jump, and she looked up to see
the stage manager stick her head in. “Melody, you have someone here to see
you.”
Her heart tripped over itself trying to change from its
sluggish beat to beating way too fast. “Send him in,” she said breathlessly.
Before the stage manager could even get out of the way, Nikki
came bulldozing through the door. Melody’s heart fell back down into that
hollow place. “Nikki,” she said. She forced a smile, hoping it would hide the
flat tone her voice had to it.
“Oh my goodness, Melody! That music was wonderful! I would
have waited until after the show to tell you, but I just couldn’t. I had to
come and see you. That was so amazing!”
Nikki was dressed in a sunny yellow dress with her dark hair
pulled back. She looked stunning, and Melody gave a small, sad smile, happy at
least to have her friend with her. “Thanks,” she murmured.
Nikki frowned. “Is he here?”
Melody swallowed hard and looked up at her friend. She shook
her head, feeling tears threaten again.
Nikki knelt down in front of Melody and took her hands. “He
will be.”
The heavy feeling on Melody’s chest started to become
constricting and crushing. “I don’t think so, Nikki…”
She sighed. “Look, Mel. I’m not even going to pretend that I
don’t know something strange is going on. I can’t place my finger on it anyway.
It’s just a feeling I get. But I know whatever is going on between you and
Liron is not conventional, is it?”
Melody glanced into her friend’s brown eyes and shook her
head.
Nikki squeezed Melody’s hands. “I have no idea what that
means. Part of me thinks maybe I don’t even want to know…do I want to know?”
“Probably not,” Melody said with a watery giggle.
She smiled. “Okay, I’m going to take your word on that. But
that same instinct telling me there is something completely bizarre about this
entire situation is also telling me that you shouldn’t give up. He’ll be here,
Melody. I know it.”
One tear succeeded in escaping, and it ran a track down
Melody’s cheek. “No, he won’t, Nik. I blew it. He was depending on me and I
blew it.”
She frowned. “Blew it how?”
Just then, the stage manager came back in again. “The
intermission is over in five more minutes, Melody,” she said. “The music
director, as well as the entire orchestra, has asked me to tell you that they
would like you to play an encore after the last piece. That is, if you happen
to have something prepared.”
Melody stared at the woman for a long moment. “They want me
to
play?”
The stage manager nodded with a smile. “I don’t think you really
understand how much you and your family were loved here.”
Melody let out a long, loud exhale and tossed the idea around
for a minute. Her first instinct was to decline. The pressure was too much and
it was too short of notice. She had no idea what she would even perform.
But as she mulled on it, she knew exactly what she would
play. And she knew she had to do it. She had nothing left to lose, and
regardless of the fact that she had failed Liron, she couldn’t continue to
dwell in the past. She had to say goodbye to the life she had once known. It
was the only way she could move forward. She had learned that through all of
this, if nothing else.
She glanced at Nikki, then back up to the stage manager. “All
right, I’ll do it. I have something I can play.”
Chapter Twenty
The silence of the theatre was deafening as she sat at the
piano that had been set up on the stage for her encore. Her fingers were poised
over the keys, and everyone was waiting. It felt like time was moving through
cold honey. Her breathing sounded insanely loud and her heartbeat drowned out
everything else.
The music director had announced her after the last piece of
music, saying, “Please welcome Ms. Hoffman back to the stage for one final
performance.”
She’d smiled, walked tall out to the piano, and took her
seat. No one would know that inside her, one world was ending and another one
was fading, leaving her with empty space and nothingness. A blank slate. She
had no idea where she was going to go from here.
But it didn’t matter right now. She would have to deal with
the specifics soon enough. Now, all that she needed to do was play this piece
of music. She needed to heal from the losses of the past and grieve for the
loss in her present. To do any of that she needed to play.
This piece.
Play.
She drew in a deep breath and her fingers descended onto the
keys, playing the notes she knew so well and had shied away from for so long. The
beginning measures of
Adagio in G Minor
began to fill the theatre. As
she played, memories of her parents flooded her mind, but strangely, none of
them were of their funeral, which is what she had equated the song with ever
since then.
They were of her childhood and all the laughter and love she
had experienced with them, all the musical adventures. Memories of every
concert she had ever played in middle school, high school, at Juilliard, and
how her mom and dad were always in the first row cheering the loudest. She
remembered every Saturday music session, every rehearsal for the Philharmonic,
every opera and ballet and music concert they had gone to see together. She
remembered the beauty and the light her parents had brought into her life
instead of the sorrow and blackness that had come with their departure.