Light This Candle (Harlequin More Than Words) (6 page)

She was all sweetness and soft warmth as he held her close.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his chest,

“My pleasure.”

She stepped back from him and looked away awkwardly. His arms
felt cold and empty and he had to restrain the urge to fold her in his embrace
again.

“I have some good news and some bad news for you,” he said to
fill the gap between them.

She looked up in quick alarm.

“The good news is Rose and I stopped by your apartment earlier
and left you a birthday present. The bad news is I don’t know when you’re going
to be able to go see it.”

She frowned as if she was having trouble processing someone
doing such a thing for her. He supposed it might be an adjustment for her after
being on her own for well over a year. Particularly when the person helping her
represented the military—the focus of her anger and resentment since her
husband’s death.

“I don’t know what to say,” she finally mumbled.

“No need to say anything at all,” he replied cheerfully. He
turned to the nearest nurse. “Is Cody down for the night?”

“Most likely. He had an exhausting afternoon.”

Mitch dived in. “Tell you what. I’ll spend the night here with
Mr. Cody. You go home and get a decent rest in your own bed.”

“Are you always this bossy?” she retorted.

“Always.”

It took a little more arguing and persuasion, but eventually
she capitulated and headed for the elevator. He grinned at her back and then
walked into Cody’s room, feeling well pleased with the day’s work.

* * *

Cassidy smiled at the silly, handmade poster taped to
her front door. Mitch might be great with a wrench, but not so much with glitter
glue. Still, the card was a sweet gesture. She unlocked her front door wearily.
How had she ever managed before he blasted into her and Cody’s lives? She was
exhausted and emotionally wrung out by today’s crisis, and a hot bath and full
night’s sleep sounded like heaven on earth.

She flipped on the light switch. What the—

The couch was different. And where had that rug come from? And
the room was brighter than she’d ever seen it. A new floor lamp? The living room
was colorful and cheerful...how had Mitch known this would be exactly her taste?
Rose must have helped him pick this stuff out. God bless her.

The kindness and thoughtfulness of this birthday present
overwhelmed her. Tears filled her eyes and she stumbled to the kitchen...and saw
the cupcake on the counter. It was lopsided and the frosting looked like a
piping experiment gone terribly wrong.

But there was a candle stuck in it and a box of matches on top
of a note signed by Mitch that read, “Light this candle and make a wish.
Remember the light in our lives never truly goes out as long as we have
hope.”

Tears spilled onto her cheeks as she lit the candle. She hummed
“Happy Birthday” to herself and then blew it out. The flame sparked and
momentarily went out, but then it flared again. She laughed and blew it out
again. And it flickered back to life. It was one of those trick candles...but it
made Mitch’s point. She’d been dangerously close to giving up before he walked
into the ICU a few weeks ago.

How had he come to know her so well in such a short time? He’d
known that she wouldn’t listen to logical arguments, but she would get the
message from a silly birthday candle on a hideously ugly cupcake made beautiful
by the caring and concern that went into baking it. Was she ready to let Mitch
this far inside her life? Into her heart?

She moved into her bedroom and stopped to look at the picture
of her and Jimmy. Their honeymoon seemed like a lifetime ago. She would never
forget him, never stop loving him. And she would always be grateful for the gift
of Cody. But her life had moved so far beyond that innocent time of young love
that it was becoming a distant memory. She’d fought against the march of time,
against letting go of Jimmy. But maybe it was inevitable.

She kicked off her shoes and moved back out into the living
room. Her bare toes luxuriated in the deep fur of the new rug. Cody was going to
love flopping in front of the television when—if—he came home.

Her stomach growled. Another new development since Mitch
McConnell had exploded into her life—she paid attention to eating. She headed
for the kitchen and grabbed a bag of salad mix from the refrigerator.

She and Jimmy had dated all the way through high school and
married as soon as she’d turned eighteen. She’d moved from her parents’ care to
his care. He’d enlisted in the military and they’d immediately moved into base
housing. He’d taken care of everything. Of her. The house. The car. The bills.
Any crises that came along. But all of that had changed when he died. She’d had
to grow up in the space of a doorbell ringing and, a few months later, a
doctor’s single sentence, “Mrs. Frazier, your son has a problem.”

She’d proven to herself, to everyone really, that she could
take care of herself and Cody. No one had believed she could do it. But she had.
Sure, things had slipped between the cracks. How could they not with Cody in and
out of the hospital with steadily deteriorating health?

But then the money had run out. That was when things began to
fall apart. And then Cody had his first heart attack. She’d quit her job as an
office manager to be with him full-time, and the bills began to get away from
her. But what choice did she have? Her baby was
dying
. She
had
to stay at his side. To
spend every single precious minute with him, never knowing what day, what hour,
what minute might be his last.

She pulled in a sobbing breath as she picked up the cupcake and
removed the paper liner. And then Mitch McConnell had come along and swept aside
the mountain of nightmares piled on top of her as if they were nothing. She
almost resented how easily he’d made at least some of her problems go away. She
banged a fist on the counter in frustration. She wasn’t ready for him to come
into her life! But if not now, when? If she didn’t let go of the past sometime,
how could the future ever find her?

A tiny voice in the back of her head that sounded suspiciously
like Mitch whispered,
Yes,
it’s time
.

An image of Jimmy’s face the night Cody was born flashed into
her head. Furious at herself for her momentary disloyalty to him, she picked up
her cell phone—Mitch’s cell phone, the one he’d bought and paid for—and jabbed
in his number.

“Hey, Cassidy,” he said brightly.

She gritted her teeth at his cheerful voice. “I need you to
leave me and my son alone. Get out of our lives.”

“Why?” He sounded confused.

“Because I can’t afford to need anyone. I can’t forget. Don’t
you understand?”

“No. I don’t. Please explain it to me.”

It was simple: if she forgot Jimmy, who would remember him? “I
have no room in my life for anyone else. I have to get through this on my own. I
have to be strong for Cody.”

“You can be strong and still let people help you. In fact, I’ve
always thought it takes mores strength to let people lend a hand than not.”

The argument was reasonable...and made her completely crazy.
Her voice rose. “That’s just your guilt talking. You need to help me to deal
with your own conscience.”

“I’m not having this conversation over the phone. I’ll be there
in ten minutes.”

“No! Didn’t you hear me? I don’t want you in my life.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said flatly. “Your mouth is saying
the words, but your eyes keep saying something entirely different.”

“My—what?”

“I’m on my way.” The connection went dead in her ear.

She stared at the now silent phone in shock. He’d done it
again! Just taken over! Fine. He could come over here, and she’d tell him once
and for all to get out of her life. She raced for the bathroom to brush her hair
and throw on a little makeup.

It dawned on her as she took out her mascara exactly what she
was doing. She was
primping
for Mitch. Damn him! She
stuffed the brush back into the tube and stomped to her closet to put on her
rattiest sweatpants and baggiest sweatshirt. She just had time to yank her hair
up into a ponytail before a firm knock sounded on her front door.

Stormily she let him in. Of course, he looked totally put
together, his khaki slacks sharply creased, his casual shirt a perfect fit, his
short hair neat. She wasted no time getting to the point. “Mitch, you’ve got to
stop this.”

“And what would this be, exactly?”

“Everything! I appreciate what you’ve done, but I’m not some
charity case.”

He frowned. “I’ve never thought of you that way.”

“Then once and for all, please tell me why you’re doing all
this stuff for me and Cody.”

He shoved a hand through his short hair, the only outward sign
of frustration. His voice was maddeningly calm when he answered. “I feel like
hell that Jimmy died. I truly wish I could’ve brought him home to you safe and
sound. But that’s not how the cards were dealt. All I can do is step in and make
sure you and Cody are taken care of.”

Her stomach fell like a brick. So. He
was
acting purely out of guilt. She was shocked to discover that a
tiny part of her had hoped that he cared for her at least a little.

“Consider your guilt officially assuaged. You’ve already done a
great deal more than you had to or should have.”

He paced across the room to stare out her window. “Why are you
so determined not to let anyone help you?” He spun suddenly. “Or is it more than
that? Are you trying to cling to the past and not move on with your own
life?”

She stared at him, stunned.
How did he
know?

“That’s it, isn’t it?” he accused. “Well, I gotta say, living
in the past is a pretty dumb way to go through life.”

Her jaw sagged. “You’re calling me dumb?”

In two long strides he was looming over her. “Yeah,” he said
softly. “I guess I am.”

“How dare you—” she started.

But then he grabbed both her arms and his mouth swooped down on
hers, effectively silencing her. Rage erupted in her gut, but as soon as it
exploded, it changed. Expanded. Blossomed into something else entirely.

Her arms snaked up around his neck. With a groan in the back of
his throat, he pulled her to him, scooping her off the ground and crushing her
against him as if he needed her more than he needed to breathe.

This was
insane
. And yet part of
her didn’t care in the least. She wanted the escape he offered. To feel
attractive and cherished. To feel
alive
.

He swept her up and out of herself, carrying her away to a
place of pure sensation. He completely filled her senses, overwhelmed her until
all she could think about, all she could feel, was Mitch. Only Mitch—

She shoved him away and staggered back, wiping her mouth
frantically with her hand. Wiping away the feel of him, the mind-numbing
pleasure...but it didn’t work. She still tasted him. And worse, she still craved
him.

“Are you all right?” Mitch asked in concern.

She shook her head, too stunned at the raging need pounding
through her to speak.

He speared his fingers through his short hair again. “I’m so
sorry, Cassidy. It’s not like your life is exactly simple. And we’ve just
complicated it even more.”

Had they? She would eventually forget what being kissed felt
like. She could pretend it had never happened and things would go back to the
way they’d been before. Right?

“Look, Cassidy. I realize we should have talked about this
before I hauled off and kissed you like that. And we should have spent more time
getting to know each other. Built a solid foundation before we took our
relationship further.”

She was grateful her back was turned and he couldn’t see the
tears brimming in her eyes. Her heart ached unbearably. He was right. Kissing
him had been foolish in the extreme. A huge mistake.

“But what’s done is done,” he continued. “I won’t lie and say I
regret it, because I don’t. I may be a bastard for feeling that way, and I’m
sorry. But I wouldn’t have done things any differently. If everybody waited for
all the pieces to be in the right places before they took a shot at
relationships, no one would ever end up together.”

A relationship
? She’d felt some
pretty overwhelming terror over the past few months, but the fear that roared
through her when he said that word was right up there.

Mitch was speaking again. “...learned from Jimmy’s death, and
from meeting you and Cody, is that life is too short to waste time not going
straight for the things we want.”

Her jaw sagged. It flapped a few times before she managed to
form any words at all.
Was he hinting that he wanted
her?
“But you’ve known me less than a month.”

“I know you more than you think. I’ve seen you handle a
life-and-death crisis, and your son is as courageous as you are. Both of you are
stronger than steel. You’re fighting a battle that would have broken most
people.”

“I was pretty close to breaking that night you first walked
into the ICU,” she admitted painfully. “Then a group called Patches of Light
swept into my life. They paid my rent and gave me money to cover my most
desperate bills. They kept me from getting evicted from this place. Kept my
utilities turned on. Were it not for them, I’d have been living out of my car by
now, and there’d be no chance to get Cody his new medication.”

A shadow passed over Mitch’s face. He opened his mouth as if he
wanted to say something. Closed it again. What was that all about? Eventually he
said, “I’m glad they were there for you. All parents should be able to be with
their children during life-threatening illnesses.”

“I hope someday I can pay them back. Maybe help some other
parent.”