Light in Mourning (Mourning, #2) (5 page)

Without thinking, I snaked my hand over to her thigh and rested it there. Her eyes darted down to my hand holding her denim-covered leg. I gave it a soft squeeze and sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, watching her, begging with every fiber in me that she wouldn’t push me away. My heart couldn't fucking handle it if she pushed me away again. Her eyes lifted to meet mine as her lips parted, sucking in a slow breath.
 

“Tristan.” My name escaped her lips in a whisper.
 

I shut her down before she could say more. I wasn't prepared for what she might tell me. “Thanks for inviting me to dinner.” I grinned that easy grin that I reserved only for women and then pulled my hand away, dishing manicotti out for both of us.

A week went by in no time at all. Every morning, I walked Charlie down the beach and, on the way back, I gave Georgia a wave as she sat on the deck, sipping her coffee. Every morning, I wanted to run to her. I wanted her to run to me. I wanted her in my bed because she was already consuming my thoughts, but I was restraining myself. I had to try. Restraining myself was the last thing I’d done all summer. I’d let my impulsive emotions get the best of me and it hadn’t worked, so now I was taking it slow. I was doing what I should have done all summer. I was letting her come to the realization that she wanted me too. It was taking longer than I expected—I wasn't used to waiting on a girl—but I was determined to make it work, because if it didn't, I would go crazy.
 

She finally called the following week. I was waiting for her call, wondering how long it would take, pulling my hair out waiting for it. But finally, it came.
 

“Dinner?” she chirped over the line. I glanced up at the clock and noted it was after five.
 

“What’s on the menu?” I grinned as I pretended to consider her offer. Like there was a chance in hell I would be turning her down.

“Chili. It’s been simmering in the slow cooker all day and I have tons. I thought it only neighborly to share.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Definitely the neighborly thing to do.” And much more. If this girl were just my neighbor, my dick wouldn’t be twitching in my pants right now. “What time?” I asked as I adjusted myself to ease the ache at the sound of her voice.
 

“Now?”

“Not one for scheduling, huh?” I huffed as a smile tipped my lips at the idea of seeing her again.
 

“We can do it another time . . .” she trailed off softly. Was that disappointment in her voice? Fuck, I hoped so.
 

“No, I’ll be down in five.”

“Bring Charlie too. I have something for him,” she said before hanging up. I wrinkled my forehead. She had something for my dog? Charlie was higher up on her list than I was? Not that I wanted something from her—I wanted everything. Anything she would give me. I had to do something to move this dance along faster. My brain warred with itself, wondering if I could wait her out or beg her to have me like that pathetic fool I was.
 

After brushing my teeth and running a hand through my hopeless mop of hair that for some reason had women dropping their panties and falling into my bed, I called for Charlie and headed out the door and down the beach. I jogged up her deck, Charlie on my heels, and tapped on the French doors before stepping in. Georgia looked up at me, a smile spread across her sweet face as she set the table.
 

She took my breath away.
 

My eyes burned with need for her and my mouth lifted in a wide grin, as I found myself doing only when she was around.

Her dark brown hair fell in a cascade of waves over one shoulder. She wore an oversized sweater and dark leggings. And she was barefoot. Breathtaking and barefoot. She looked so at home, such a domestic picture, I knew it would punch me straight in the heart if I couldn’t see her every day for the rest of my life.
 

The silence stretched between us as I continued to grin at her, taking in her beautiful form. Her cheeks pinked up and the smile fell from her lips for a moment.
 

“Everything okay?” She tipped her head at me.
 

I cleared my throat. “Yeah.” I took the few remaining steps toward her, invading her space, inhaling her scent. I reached a hand up to twist a thick lock of her dark hair between my fingers. The strands were silky and slid against my skin. She sucked in a quick breath and her eyes held mine, questions swirling. “You look beautiful,” I murmured.
 

“Oh.” Her mouth formed an O in the most adorable way. “Thank you.”
 

I nodded, my eyes scorching into hers before I finally dropped my hand. I swallowed and willed myself to keep control. I could ravage her right across this table. Lay her out, listen to her moan in my ear, her legs around my hips. Fuck, I missed my hands on her body. “Need help with anything?” I turned toward the kitchen and tried my best to adjust myself discreetly. I wasn’t sure if it was more painful not having her in my life, or seeing her occasionally, knowing she was just down the beach and I couldn’t touch her.
 

“Charlie’s gift,” Georgia shrieked and launched herself off the couch, heading down the hallway. I chuckled as I watched her retreating form. We’d finished the best chili I’d ever had, and were now each two beers in and settled on the couch. We were laughing and talking and she was giggling in the most delightful fashion. I was trying desperately to control my raging need for this beautiful girl.
 

“Why does Charlie get a gift and I’m left high and dry?” A flirty smile lit my face when she walked back in with an oversized, basting bone.
 

“Who says you’re getting left high and dry?”
 

My eyebrows shot up into my hairline as I watched her eyes sparkle with flirtatious amusement. I was dumbfounded. She was flirting with me. We hadn’t shared a single fucking touch since that kiss in the parking lot at the grocery store nearly a week ago and she was finally flirting with me. Had I finally broken her resolve? Had I been right to wait her out and not push her?

Regardless, I couldn't form words as I watched her bend down and call Charlie to her. She scratched his ears and patted his head lovingly before passing him the bone. He wagged his tail and then sauntered off proudly, settling himself in the corner to gnaw on his prize.
 

My eyes followed her as she came to sit on the couch next to me. She turned, her body facing mine, one leg drawn up and tucked underneath the other. I chewed on my bottom lip as she took another swallow of her beer.

“Why did you leave?” I blurted. Fuck! Why had I said that? I hadn’t meant to get into serious topics, hadn’t ever meant to get into the past with her. I wanted to leave all of that shit right where it belonged.
 

She coughed for a moment in surprise before setting the beer bottle down. “I . . . I don’t . . . it wasn't . . .” she stammered, looking for an explanation.
 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up. You don’t have to answer. It’s just something I’ve wondered about—if you knew you weren’t coming back. And then when I called and you never . . .” I trailed off and ripped my gaze from hers.
 

“It’s okay. I guess I owe you an explanation.” She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and began gnawing on the pink flesh fiercely. “I don’t want to rehash things that have already been said. It’s terrible, all of the decisions I made during the summer. I have so many regrets.”

Regrets.
 

There was that word. We’d promised each other no regrets, so was she telling me she regretted me? All of it? Because I sure as hell didn't. She was the last thing I regretted. I regretted I’d tried my stupid caveman way of forgetting her by fucking other girls and flaunting it. I regretted it so much the bile rose in my throat at the memory of the pain etched across her face.
 

But, her? I didn’t regret her.
 

And if she told me she regretted me, I didn’t know what I would do. But I knew it would include a bottle of scotch.

“I think I wanted to come back. I left a piece of myself here. The biggest piece. I left
me
here. But when I got back to DC, I just . . . was consumed by Kyle. He’s like that; takes over my whole world . . . we always go back to each other.”

“Is this time different?” I asked her point-blank. I had to know.
 

Her brows furrowed as she took in my words. “Yes,” she said. I watched for any indication that she didn’t believe what she was saying. I didn’t see any. She looked determined. Her jaw set, her eyes hard.
 

“Do you think that means something for us?” I didn’t want to ask it, but I wanted it answered. I was trying not to lay my cards on the table, but that’s who I am. I don’t pull bullshit. I don’t play games. I’m straightforward and what I needed at that moment was to know what she was thinking about us.
 

“Tristan,” she murmured, her eyes downcast, still chewing on her lip.
 

“Sorry, don’t answer. I didn’t mean to get into all of this. I’m just here for dinner.” I shot her my best reassuring smile, but it didn’t seem to help. She was still lost in thought, playing with the label on her beer bottle.
 

“Hey.” I scooted closer to her on the couch and rested my palm on her knee. Her eyes darted up to meet mine, emotions swirling, unanswered questions burning. I ran my thumb along the soft fabric of her leggings and watched her breathing pick up, her chest heaving as her lips parted and she inhaled deeply.
 

“I want us . . . I want to be . . .” She hardened the set of her jaw and glanced away from me.
 

She wants what?

She wants us to be friends?

Fuck, please don’t let her say she just wants to be friends. I glanced at Charlie and mentally willed him to prepare for a hasty exit, but his old brown eyes refused to meet mine. Distracted fucker. Give him a bone and he’s rendered useless. Fuck him. I’ll leave him. If she says she just wants to be friends, I’m out the door in a flash, no turning back.
 

“I want you, but more than that, I want to take it slow,” she said on a rush of breath. I was so lost in my thoughts it took a moment for my brain to register her words.
 

She wants me.
 

Holy fuck, Georgia wants me.
 

The one thing I’d been desperate for her to say all summer and she’d just said it.
 

I heaved a giant sigh and the anxiety that had settled in my chest eased. I clenched my eyes tightly and ran my palm over my face.
 

“I . . . do you not want that?” she squeaked. I scrubbed my palm across my face and then met her eyes, a grin breaking out across my mouth. I was so fucking relieved. A weight had lifted from my shoulders.
 

“I can give you slow, Georgia. I don’t know if I can give you space, because the last five days have been torture having you right here and not seeing you, but I’ll give you slow. Just don’t ask me to stay away.” I leaned into her, fisted one hand in her thick hair and pulled her lips to mine. I claimed her in a fierce kiss—strong, confident, quick—and then pulled away again.