Lifelines: Kate's Story (50 page)

“Kate,
why didn’t you tell me?”

Either
the drugs or the accident had left her no resistance to tears, but she blinked
to disperse them before he saw. Marriage to Rachel would have exposed him to a
lifetime’s tears and hysterics. “Confidentiality ... can’t tell anyone what a
client ...” Her head began to spin, and Mac blurred in front of her eyes. “I’m
sorry ... the police ... when I realized about the fire, I had to.”

She
seemed to be having an easier time focusing on him, then she realized he’d come
closer. She wanted to reach out for his hand, but she understood the barrier
Rachel made between them.

He
said, “I called your dad. He’ll be here in a few hours. Jennifer’s on her way,
too. I couldn’t get hold of your mom.”

“Mac
...” Her eyes drooped and she knew she hadn’t long. “I’m sorry about Rachel.”

His
hand tightened on hers. “You’ve broken some ribs, the doctor says, and your
left arm and leg have fractures. They sewed up a small tear in your lung;
that’s why it’s painful to talk. Concussion, too, but now you’re awake that’s
OK. The doctor says everything will heal.”

“Mac—”

“I’ll
look after Socrates.”

“Socrates
pulled me towards the trees ... saved me.”

“He’s
good at that.”

She
stared into his eyes and knew that Mac would leave Madrona Bay now. She tried
to tighten her hand, but the muscles wouldn’t obey.

“Mac
... see someone ... counseling ... so hard for you ...” She wanted to tell him she
loved him, but the time was wrong. Or perhaps she was too much a coward. She thought
of her mother who had never told her father she’d had a child by another man.
Doing the wrong thing for such a human reason, afraid of the end.

And
Kate, trying to do right, had made a massive screw-up.

When
she woke again, Mac was gone, but Jennifer and Han were at her side.

E
velyn
gripped Noel’s hand tightly as she called Kate from the pay phone beside the
resort office. She counted the rings and breathed easier with each sign Kate
wasn’t home.

Her
daughter’s recorded voice invited her to leave a message.

“Hello,
darling, it’s Mom. I just called to say hello. We’re having a wonderful—”

“Grandma?
Grandma? Is that you?”

“Jennifer?
What are you doing there?”

“Grandma,
we’ve been looking everywhere for you. Mom’s in the hospital and the police are
looking for you. How could you disappear like that? Mom’s been worried sick.”

Evelyn
started to cry.

Hospitals
frightened Evelyn. She didn’t like the quiet, and she hated the knowledge that
people died here. Even with Noel at her side, she didn’t want to walk through
the big double doors. Noel had talked to the doctor for her on the telephone,
and they knew Kate would recover, so why couldn’t they go straight home?
Jennifer had been so angry with Evelyn, and when Kate woke up, she’d bawl her
out for disappearing, too.

Evelyn
didn’t like criticism.

“We
were wrong,” Noel had said the night he tried to persuade her to return to
Bellingham. “We shouldn’t have left without talking to your daughter first. I
encouraged you, because I was afraid your daughter would convince you I was bad
news. I’m on a government pension just scraping by, and you’ve got money. I was
convicted of embezzlement twenty years ago. Anyone would be justified thinking
I want to do you out of your money.”

“Nonsense.”

“It’s
not nonsense, sweetheart. You bought the motor home. We’re traveling on your
money.”

“We
could get married.” She couldn’t believe she’d said it again, and she wouldn’t
look at him once she had, but she said, “If we married, it wouldn’t be
anybody’s business.”

She
couldn’t believe it, but he said yes, and she’d been floating on a cloud ever
since. Noel kept getting that silly grin on his face, and reaching for her hand
...

The
only trouble was, he insisted they face the music with Kate.

“Don’t
leave me alone here,” she begged him as they rode up the elevator, and he
patted her hand and settled it more solidly on his arm.

“I’m
right here, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

The
first person she saw when they got off the elevator was Han. He’d grown a
belly, and his hair was completely white, but she knew him instantly and she
stopped and pulled Noel up short.

Han
still walked like a strong man. He took her hands and she felt Noel step aside
as if Han had brushed him away by simple force of personality. She put on a
smile she thought would look right, cool and polite. That seemed appropriate
for an ex-husband.

“Kate’s
going to be fine,” said Han. “She’s still in pain, but the doctors say
everything will heal.”

Evelyn
made her smile brighter. “I’ve been so worried.”

“Evie,
I’ve been wanting to tell you—”

“No!”
He was going to talk about their marriage. She knew he was, and she tried to
pull away.

“I’m
sorry, Evie.”

“What?”

“All
those years ago, when I sent you away. I should have listened, you tried to
explain and I should have listened. I’m sorry.”

She
was afraid Noel might be listening, and he would want to know what she did to
make Han angry all those years ago. Then she could see only Han, who used to
love her, until he learned to hate. She’d never cried in front of him until
now.

“I
felt so alone when you went to Chile. I was terrified you’d leave me forever.”

He
let her hands go but didn’t step back. “I’d like to be friends now. I know it’s
late, but we loved each other once. There aren’t many people left who can
remember me as a young man, and care.”

“Friends,”
she said. She heard the word echo and thought she sounded gracious. She
realized she’d smiled at Han.

“You’ll
want to see Kate,” he said.

“Yes.”
She reached for Noel’s hand. He hadn’t left, and when she met his eyes, he
still looked at her as if she were a treasure. “I need to see Kate now.”

Han
didn’t hate her, and Noel loved her. If Kate disapproved—well, she and Noel
would marry before Kate left the hospital. That way she couldn’t stop them.

When
they got to Kate’s room, Evelyn suddenly worried that Kate would make a scene,
and what if Han had told her what happened all those years ago?

What
if Noel heard?

“It’s
all right,” said Noel. “Let’s go in.”

Evelyn
gripped his hand hard and stepped into her daughter’s room. Kate lay on one of
those hospital beds with rails up—as if she were an old lady who might fall out
of bed. She had a tube going into her arm, and plaster on her arm. Her eyes
were closed, and if Noel hadn’t kept moving to the bed, Evelyn would have left.

“Kate?”
She was afraid she’d talked too loud. People shouldn’t talk loud in hospitals.

Kate’s
eyes opened, then she smiled.

T
he husky
young man pulled the door down on the back of the moving van and sketched a
salute at Kate. “That’s it, ma’am. See you this afternoon.”

Socrates
leaned against Kate as she watched the van disappear down the drive, then they
both turned towards the house. “One last look,” she told him.

He
grunted a reply.

She
started upstairs. She managed to carry Socrates; her leg was growing stronger
each day. Socrates wasn’t so lucky. The vet had him on medication for
arthritis, and although he still enjoyed his walks, he couldn’t manage stairs.

Stripped
of its furnishings, the upstairs sounded hollow, but Jennifer’s bedroom still
bore the bright cloud wallpaper Jen begged for the summer she was fourteen.

The
second upstairs bedroom had always been a storeroom. Strange to see it empty.
The people who bought the house had three children, and their two teenage girls
would live in these upstairs bedrooms. The new baby would be downstairs in the
guest bedroom.

Kate
carried Socrates downstairs and they visited each room with its memories. Here
in the office, David had worked on his endless historical book. Here, he’d had
a heart attack and died. And here, she’d converted his office to a studio for
her pottery.

In
the bedroom, they’d made love and spent sleepless nights worried about Jennifer
when she came home late. Now the new owners would share this room with their
own laughter and problems.

The
spare bedroom hadn’t been used often because she and David weren’t people who’d
had many house guests. They’d been quiet people, both working, and they’d
treasured their time here. They hadn’t gone on many holidays, and Jennifer
complained they lived a dull life.

“It
was a good life, David. Thank you.”

In
the kitchen, she’d cooked, washed dishes, and hung on the phone at the end of
the counter talking to her mother. Right now Evelyn was somewhere in Mexico,
traveling with Noel on an extended honeymoon. They phoned every week and Evelyn
seemed happy. For the first time in years, Kate’s conversations with her mother
were stress-free.

She
touched the telephone and moved on into the living room where she’d rocked
Jennifer as a baby, where she and David sat together watching television,
reading, and talking. Here, Mac had tended the fire on their few precious
evenings together. And here, only a few months ago she’d held Jennifer in her
arms as she sobbed.

Socrates
walked to the front door.

“Yes,
Socrates, I’m ready.” She stopped at the door to let her eyes skim over the
warm walls, the satin shine of the hardwood floor.

“Good-bye,”
she whispered.

Then
she stepped outside and locked the door for the last time. She would drop her
key off at the realtor’s office on the way into Madrona Bay, and tomorrow the
new owners would start moving in.

She
was glad Rachel hadn’t come inside the house the night she died, glad she could
lock the door without Rachel entangled in her memories of life inside these
walls.

When
she lifted Socrates off the veranda, he began to walk slowly down the drive.

“All
right,” she agreed. “A last walk before we leave.”

Kate
had rented a two-bedroom waterfront house on the outskirts of Madrona Bay, a
ten-minute walk from her counseling offices. She’d taken Socrates for a test
walk on the beach in front of the house before she signed the lease. Socrates
had approved.

At
the end of the driveway, Socrates turned towards the house Mac built and they
walked together in silence until they reached the end of the road. John and
Yvonne Trent lived here now. Socrates understood Mac wouldn’t be here, and he
didn’t protest when she stopped on the road.

“We
helped build that house.”

The
dog made a sound of agreement.

“I
wish ...”
No, don’t go there. Face forward, not back.

Denny
now managed Madrona Bay Contracting, and Mac was overseas somewhere. When she
thought of him, she always imagined him in Peru, because he’d talked of Peru
more than the other places he’d been. She imagined steep rocky paths through
towering mountains, old Inca ruins, and llamas. In her imagination, he lived
perpetually outside, tanned and active.

She
thought of Rachel less often now. She’d had a series of therapy sessions with
Sarah all through May and June. She knew she would always feel a sense of
responsibility towards Rachel, but she’d come to peace with her client’s ghost.

Against
Sarah’s advice, she’d filed a report of her conduct in Rachel’s case with
WMHCA. No one suggested taking her license away. As Sarah pointed out, if the
Association didn’t condemn her for an unwitting violation of ethics, she should
stop beating herself up over it.

She’d
told Jennifer about herself, Mac, and Rachel, without giving any confidential
details of Rachel’s counseling. She hoped it would help Jennifer forgive
herself for her own behavior toward Wendy Trudeau.

“Life
goes on,” she told Socrates. “And I’m OK.”

Socrates
pulled on the leash and it slipped out of her hands.

“What
are you doing, you crazy dog? Running away from home?”

He
didn’t stop.

Kate
caught up and reached down for the leash trailing behind him, but he hadn’t
stopped walking and she missed. Then she saw the truck, and she grabbed the
leash to stop him. “Oh, Socrates! Darling, it’s Denny. Mac doesn’t drive that
truck any more.”

The
truck stopped just before her drive and Socrates pulled on the leash.

“It’s
Denny,” she told him again.

The
driver got out and walked towards her. Kate’s fingers closed on the leash, but
Socrates had already pulled it out of her hand. The dog got to Mac and leaned
against his leg.

Mac
bent down to rub his ears.

Walk,
Kate. Walk up and say hello.

When
he stood up from petting Socrates she tried to smile but nothing seemed to be
working. “I thought you were in Peru.”