Lexi, Baby (5 page)

I was just about to take him full in my
mouth when in a flash he moved out of reach and dropped to his
knees.

“What are you...?” He cut me off by pushing
me to my ass and pulling my legs out from underneath me. I had to
throw my arms back to catch myself. I glared at him.

“This is our first time Lex and it’s going
to be special for
you
.”
Oh. My. God!
I was going to
orgasm and I haven’t even gotten out of my jeans yet.

Why didn’t I wear a dress?
Stupid, Stupid
Lex
!

“Hurry Ryan!”

“We’re taking this slow Lex.”

“Look, I’ve only been with one other guy and
I need you inside me so bad my whole body
burns
!” I went to
zip down my jeans, but he swatted at my hands away harshly. I
jolted when he grabbed the waistline, jerked and ripped the zipper
open. He yanked them, along with my panties, off my legs and threw
them aside.

A little too rough, but
finally
!

He grabbed my legs, spread them wide and
wrapped his arms under my thighs to slide me closer.

When he bent and took my nipple in his mouth
I lifted my hips and felt the tip of his erection graze where I
longed for it. He felt it too so he continued to rub against me. It
was sweet torture.

“
Please
,” I whispered, begging him.
He pulled back slightly and pressed the front of his thighs against
the back of mine; lifting my legs higher. Staring into my eyes, he
reached between us with his free hand and started rubbing me where
it burned.

“I want you,” he said roughly against my
lips. When I moaned, he entered me with a finger.

“Oh, God,” I whispered. “Yes.” His finger
continued stroking in and out while I rubbed myself against his
palm. “It feels so good Ryan,” my voice husky, our lips still
grazing.

I was close. I licked my lips and looked in
his eyes, “Please don’t stop, Ry.” This so needed to happen right
now.

“Come for me, Lex.” I whimpered and dug my
nails in his back. He groaned and pressed his hand harder against
me. The man knew what he was doing! This was happening! I was right
there...
almost
...
almost
...
so close
...
I
could feel it
...

Then the doorbell rang.

My eyes flew open. Ryan looked at me, but he
didn’t say a word or stop working his hand. “Keep going,” I
demanded just as pounding started on the front door. It was my turn
to groan. “Keep going,” I repeated, frustrated.

Finally the pounding stopped.

Then, the doorbell rang again... and
again... and again... and again...

NO-NO-NO
! I screamed in my head. Ryan
still hadn’t stopped though. “Ignore it,” he muttered angrily
before pulling his hand away.

He grabbed his erection, kissed me urgently
and without warning, slammed inside me. The abrupt invasion hurt
and I cried out in protest, but he didn’t stop moving.

I kept quiet and squeezed my eyes shut. The
pain went away, but it was too late; I lost it. No orgasm for
me.

“You’re so tight,” he muttered in a strained
voice, but he powered on.

Then, the doorbell rang again. It wouldn’t
have been so bad if the damn doorbell ringer wasn’t located in
this
particular hallway, but it sounded like a fog horn. I
didn’t care; I just wanted this over with.

Ryan, finally noticing my loss of
participation, shouted “Fuck” so loud, I jumped.

I knew he was as frustrated as I was, but
for different reasons. He pulled out of me, shot up to his feet and
looked down at me with fury. He quickly took in his
surroundings.

“Get up,” he barked. I quickly pulled myself
up and brought my knees to my chest. “I can’t believe I let this
happen,” he continued angrily. He was quiet a moment before turning
his face away from me. “There’s a robe in my bathroom, go put it
on.” Then he turned and walked away.

What the hell
...?

What did I do wrong? Why would he talk to me
like that?

Why can’t anything in my life just go the
way it’s supposed to for once?

He can’t believe he let this happen? Well,
neither can I!

My throat was closing up and I knew the
tears were coming.
Just great!

I forced myself up and ran to his bathroom
slamming the door and locking it behind me. I grabbed his robe and
tied the belt painfully tight, sat down on the side of the tub and
started bawling.

I had no idea how long I sat there, but I
was wishing I had my cell to call Trish to come pick me up when
there was a knock at the door. “Lex, you in there?” He still
sounded peeved.

What a stupid question to ask Mr.
Smarty-Pants! Where else would I be?

I swiped at my cheeks and took a few deep
breaths to help normalize my voice, “Yeah, give me just a sec.”

“Okay. Come into the kitchen when you’re
done, please.”

At least the jerk had the decency to say
please, I muttered to myself.

Once I let everything sink in, my tears
started falling faster. This was just more proof that Ryan and
Landyn were nothing alike, only this time, I didn’t like the
difference. I tried so hard not to compare them, and I did a fairly
good job, but at times like this I couldn’t help myself.

First, Landyn never would have taken me so
forcefully; without any concern for me. Second, he would have
killed whoever was at the front door and I was pretty certain Ryan
didn’t since I hadn’t heard any screams for help. Third, if I
locked myself in a bathroom because I was upset and crying, Landyn
would have
known
I was upset and crying; we just had that
connection.

He also would have coerced me to open the
door just so he could hold me. If he couldn’t coerce me, he’d
probably break the door down.

Lastly, Landyn never would have spoken to me
as harshly as Ryan did while I was lying naked on the floor after
giving myself to him.

I had to get out of here. I hurried to pull
myself together and went about wiping off the mascara running down
my cheeks. I fanned myself to help the red splotchiness disappear
quicker. When I was finally decent, I quietly walked out. I noticed
my discarded pants in the hall so I picked them up and put them on.
I could only button the top because the zipper was busted.

When finished, I headed straight for the
kitchen.

Ryan was sitting on a bar stool with his
elbows on the counter and his head in his hands. I didn’t move past
the entryway. When I called out his name he looked up and surveyed
my oddly clothed body; robe and jeans. When his eyes hit mine, his
face was sad. Yeah, well so was I.

“I’ll call Trish to come pick me up,” I said
softly. I turned and walked over to pick up my bra and shirt and
headed for the living room.

Ryan never said a word.

It was only when I finished dressing and sat
on the couch to wait for Trish that it hit me... I wasn’t wearing
my panties...
oops
! I guess Ryan will have a nice keepsake
to remember me by. No sooner than I thought that, I felt Ryan walk
in the room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him stand beside me,
but I refused to acknowledge him.

“Lex, I know you want to leave and Trish is
probably already on her way, but please let me apologize before you
walk out the door.” I still didn’t look at him. When he spoke next
his words were a velvety soft whisper. “I’m sorry for the way I
spoke to you, Lex. It wasn’t because of you. I was angry with
myself, and I still am. I can’t believe I actually had the nerve to
take you on the floor in the fucking hallway,” he spit out
harshly.

I looked at him then. “I
wanted
it on
the floor. I
needed
it on the floor. I didn’t care where
Ryan, but that pales in comparison to the fact that you hurt me and
didn’t even the decency to make sure I was okay.”

His face looked pained. “I hurt you?” he
asked in a choked whisper.

I was surprised that he hadn’t even realized
it. “Yes, Ryan, it hurt; only at first and not too bad, but enough
that I was uncomfortable. You were so intent on finishing that you
never even noticed.” I shook my head. “You know, it wasn’t even
that. I can understand getting carried away, but the way you spoke
to me afterward was cruel. I felt like a child getting scolded for
wanting you.”

Ryan unexpectedly dropped to his knees in
front of me and grabbed my hands.

“Lex, I’m sorry. I just wanted you so bad.
I’m so, so sorry. I was also furious at myself for not using
protection with you. I don’t even know if you’re on birth control,
but it was my responsibility to protect you and I didn’t. I want
kids someday, but not right now. I took it out on you.” He paused.
“Sweetheart, please forgive me, it’ll never happen again. I promise
I’ll make it up to you no matter how long it takes,” he pleaded
desperately.

Well the “not wanting kids right now” part
didn’t make me happy. What about Layla? Didn’t he realize the
package he ordered came with the gift of a beautiful little
princess? One guaranteed to be wrapped in pink, with a bow on
top!

He caught my chin and turned me to face him.
“Lex, I know you’re pissed and probably never want to see me again,
but I can’t let you leave without you knowing that I’m in love with
you. I know what you’re thinking. I wasn’t including Layla in that
statement about kids. I just meant that if we have kids eventually,
I’d like to be further along in my career by then. Please forgive
me.”

Oh. My. God.
I was staring at him,
but not actually seeing him. This was way too much to take in all
at once. He put a hand to the side of my face and gave me a light
kiss, “Lex, I love you.” I closed my eyes trying to force the tears
away.

“
What?”
I managed to croak out. “I
love you, Lex. I’ll understand if you don’t say it back, but I’ll
wait because I know you care for me.”

He was right, I did care for him; more than
just cared, but did I love him? Every time I started to think I
did, I’d force myself to think of something else. If I do love him,
should I tell him? What would he do with the leftover pieces of my
heart that were all I had left to give a man? He hurt me once, but
compared to what Landyn did, this was nothing. I didn’t think Ryan
could hurt me as bad as Landyn did, but I wasn’t the best judge of
character.

Ryan was different that’s for sure. Not
better, not worse, just different.

Very different
.

What about Layla? They’d never even met!
What if Ryan couldn’t handle helping raise a child who wasn’t his?
I was going to freak out!

“Lex, snap out of it,” Ryan said while
simultaneously snapping his fingers in front of my face to catch my
attention. “It’ll be ok. I’ll wait. I still need to prove that I
won’t hurt you, I know that. I still need to meet your little girl,
I know that too. Just please stop doubting me, Lex. I’m going to
take care of us.”

At that precise moment, I heard tires
screech in the background.

Not a minute later, banging started again at
the front door. Oh no,
not this shit again
!

“Open up asshole! If Lex is not out in five
seconds I’m breaking in a window! Open the door!” Then the
countdown started, “Five... four... three...” Well then, it would
seem Trish has arrived.
Fantastic
. Now how was I going to
get poor Ryan out of this predicament without bloodshed? I sighed
out loud.

Trish was now at “One point two-five!” so
Ryan spoke fast, “Don’t leave Lex, please. Tell Trish to come
inside. She can help us eat what the pizza boy nearly lost a hand
for delivering. I actually told the poor kid if he lifted his hand
one more time I was going to cut it off.” I snorted at that. “See,
you’re rubbing off on me,” he said sounding resigned to a lifetime
of living with my sarcasm.

“So it would seem.” I responded quietly
before adding, “And just so you know, I have an IUD. I can’t get
pregnant until I have it taken out.” I gave him a swift, wet kiss,
and then rushed to go put out the fire at the front door.

So, after yet another dramatic turning
point, for the past two years Ryan and I moved forward with our
lives together. When Layla and Ryan finally met, they really hit it
off. Granted, my little princess got along with anyone that met all
her demands, and she was so darn precious that people would move
planets to make her happy.

Layla was included in nearly all of our
dates. We went to the movies, the zoo and dinner together
regularly, but I never let Ryan take Layla anywhere without me. It
wasn’t that I didn’t trust Ryan. Layla was just the most important
thing in my life and if,
God forbid
, anything were to happen
to my princess, I wanted it to happen when I was there. They still
had a great relationship. I was happy.

We encountered no more major hiccups; minor
hiccups, yes, major hiccups, no. One was Ryan’s temper. I knew his
work was stressful and sometimes he took his bad days out on me,
but he never took them out on Layla and he always made up for it.
Sometimes he just said things he didn’t mean in the heat of the
moment. I’d just roll my eyes and ignore him.

Ryan also tried to spoil us. He tried to
give me money or buy groceries, or buy Layla expensive toys, but I
refused to let him unless it was for something special. I had
become dependent on someone emotionally once before and the last
thing I wanted was to become dependent on Ryan financially. Since
becoming partner at Simon, Gregor & Stevenson Accounting he
made a killing, but I wanted to earn everything for myself and my
baby girl.

I made just enough money to pay my share of
the rent and utilities, my awesome, used, red, four-door, 4x4 Ford
F150, and anything the princess needed or wanted. I rarely bought
anything for myself unless absolutely necessary. Not that I minded,
buying things for Layla and receiving a smile brighter than the sun
was like Christmas for me.